They say distractions helps keep your mind off things that would other wise plague it. They say,"Keep yourself busy and she'll be home in no time."
For weeks Camila had heard so many different versions of comfort speeches, she felt ready to snap at the next mention of distraction.
Were they stupid?
It's not like going to the movies would take her mind off her barely recovered girlfriend, who was most likely putting herself at risk. Yeah, the new Avenger's movie had helped, Camila thought in frustration walking out of the theatre bitterly.
Dinah decided she wanted hit up a late night movie, and dragged her along, all against her will might she point out.
After playing on her phone for two hours, she sighed in relief when the lights came on, but from the frown on her best friends face, she knew she was in trouble.
They were now walking a couple blocks over where Camila was able to find parking, both silent waiting for the explosion they both knew was coming.
Deciding to bite the bullet, she mumbled, "I'm sorry China..."
Dinah was ready to full on rant, when she stopped at the dejected look on her best friends face. Deciding to not kick her friend while she was down, she breathed in deeply to calm herself.
"What was wrong with the movie this time chancho?" sighed Dinah tiredly.
Camila looked down and cursed herself as tears pricked her eyes.
"Nothing.." Muttered Camila sniffling.
"Mila, I understand that right now is hard. So I didn't say anything about the massive make up you put on to hide the circles under your eyes. I don't say a word about the many nights I've woken up to hear you crying. Or the completely fake smile you wear everyday, as ou pretend everything is okay. I don't say a word about any of that, but I'm about to beat your ass if you start lying to me now." Dinah bit out, stopping their walk to face her friend.
Camila looked at Dinah surprised, and stuttered,"You know about all that?"
Dinah shot her room mate a scathing glare as she exclaimed,"I've been living with you for almost four years! Of course I would notice! I know what you real smile looks like, and that fake one you've been sporting isn't it. You just talked got a letter from Lauren yesterday so I know she's okay. So what is wrong?"
Blinking back the tears that wanted to escape, Camila asked,"Do you remember the letter Lauren left me the first night we met?"
"Of course. What does that have to do with anything?" asked Dinah confused.
"She signed it Your Friendly Neighborhood asskicker. It's a spiderman kind of thing. She used to be really into the super heroes, like I was as a kid. The movie just reminded me of one of the many conversations we had about who was better Captain america or Iron man...." Camila trailed off willing her tears back.
"Thor duh." Dinah answered seriously as if both of them were stupid for leaving him out.
"That's not... Any way, after I remembered that and tried to focus on the movie, I watched the scenes of the military helping save the world.... and they were dying left and right because they didn't have super powers.. All those people died leaving families behind, and all anyone cared about was how cool Iron man looked..."Camila spat angrily, as tears ran down her face.
Dinah blinked in surprise, and then shrank her shoulder back as guilt started to weigh on her. She didn't mean to make Camila have a break down, she only wanted to show her a good time, and tke her worries away even if it wasn't for long. Thinking back on some of the gruesome scenes of the soldiers dying in the movie, she realized she should have picked a better movie.
"Mila... I'm so sorry. I didn't think. You always like those movies before and I just assumed..." Dinah trailed off sadly.
Wiping her face angrily, Camila said,"It's not your fault Dinah. If Lauren was here I wouldn't have taken it so hard. But knowing I'm going to sleep tonight when she could be being blown up of shot at just hit a nerve. It's not your fault I'm a emotional mess."
Pulling her best friend into her arms, Dinah held her tightly as Camila relaxed into the hug, clearly needing some contact tonight.
"Your missing her really bad right now aren't you? You've been holding it together pretty well, maybe a good cry is what you need." Dinah suggested quietly.
"Every time I'm alone, all I do is cry. I'm not sure I can anymore." Camila mumbled frustrated.
Stepping back, Dinah looked at her with a grin and said,"Oh I have the just the movie you need to put your perspective on track. How about we go to Lauren's apartment and have a girls movie night?"
Camila perked up at the thought of sleeping in Lauren's bed, with her scent still on the pillows.
"Sounds amazing." Camila replied with a smile.
Dinah gave her a mischevious wink after pulling out her phone as the resumed walking.
"Oh Chancho, by the end of the night you'll hate me." giggled Dinah laughing to herself.
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After dragging ever spare pillow and blanket into the living room, Camila headed to the kitchen to get snacks just as the door bell rang.
She heard Dinah answer the door, and decided she needed to start the popcorn.
Just as she started dumping two bags in a large bowl she head multiple feet make their way into the kitchen.
She froze as Dinah walked in with Clara, Taylor, Demi and Ariana trudged in wearing pajama's and carrying snacks and movies.
"What are you guys doing here?" asked Camila surprised.
"Well Dinah explained how you needed a good cry, and that you guys were having a girls night. Were girls, and are here to have a good cry. Demi brought movies." Clara explained wrapping her arms around Camila in comfort.
Camila smiled at the women in the kitchen that had come over to help her through this and said,"I'm glad you guys came."
"Oh you wont be saying that in two hours. Fist one up is Dear John." Taylor snickered with a smirk.
Camila scrunched her eyebrows as she asked,"Whats it about?"
The room stilled and stared at her as if she had just declared her heterosexuality.
"You've never seen Dear John?" asked Ariana shocked.
Shaking her head, Camila replied,"Not really. I usually never watch tv, and only go to the movies to see what Dinah would call my nerd movies."
Clara threw her arm over Camila's shoulder and commanded,"It's going to be a long night girls. Demi put on the movie, Taylor finish the popcorn, Ariana find all the kleenex you can, and Dinah arrange the snacks. Camila if I were you I would grab one of Lauren's shirts or Pillow. Your gonna need it."
The girls hustle to follow her orders, and Camila silently wondered what movie could possibly get a reaction like this.
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Two hours later..............
Camila was sobbing into Lauren's pillow, which was dressed in one of Lauren's shirts after watching one of the many emotional scenes.
"Maybe watching that movie was abad idea..." Taylor whispered quietly.
"What? He didn't die! It had a happy ending!" Dinah defended lamely.
Camila's head shot up, and the glare she gave Dinah with her puffy eyes was enough to peel the skin off her body.
"Happy ending? How the hell was that a happy ending? She cheated on him!?" spat Camila furious.
"But they met up years later, and got their closure. It didn't end the way they wanted but they still treasure the memories they made." Ariana replied nervously.
Camila shot up and started to worry the woman as she paced. She started to rant and they knew the movie had done its job, she was finally letting it all go.
"That movie is bullshit! He is out there risking his life, while she's just falling in love with someone else?! Did she not understand the sacrifice he was making for her? The twin towers happened! Of course her re-enlisted! He had a strong sence of duty and he loved his friends enough to not let them do it on their own! But did she think of that while she was being a college slut? NO! She just tossed him away in a letter as if he never meant anything to her! She should have WAITED! I don't gove a shit if Fove months turned into two years! I would wait for Lauren! I would suffer every fucking day because I would know I did everything I possibly could! You don't just give up because your lonely? That's what friends and family is for! You let them comfort you when you need it! You don't let some guy come along telling you sweet nothings, even if he is her best friend! If Dinah pulled that shit I'd kill her! She didn't really love him if she was able to find some one else, while he was gone! And that letter? What the hell is WRONG with her?! What if he was so upset he lost focus and got himself killed? Savannah was a selfish stupid immature bitch!" Camila spit out breathing heavily.
The woman looked at each other with wide smiles, and looks of victory in their eyes.
Noticing their expressions, Camila shot them a glare as she exclaimed,"What are you all smiling about? Did you not watch the same movie as me? How can you smile after watching that bullshit?"
"Mija, we're smiling because you finally opened up since Lauren left. We have all noticed you trying to mask your pain, and we wanted you to verbalize it. If you don't try to let some of it go, you could end up feeling lonely enough to become vulnerable to those around you. We just wanted you to see that holding it all in wont help, and sometimes leaning on others is the only way to get through this heartache. You would never forgive yourself if you ended up like Savanah." Clara explained giving the co-ed a small sad smile.
Camila's shoulders hunched, and dropped down in her previous seat, sitting indian style as she gripped the pillow to her chest tightly.
"I may feel lonely sometimes because despite being around you guys throughout the week..... I miss Lauren." Camila breathed out shakily.
The women in the room eye's pricked as they watched Camila break down her walls for them, and take off the mask that held the pain she had been to proud to show.
"I miss waking up in her arms... I miss walking around the city arguing if spock is better than kirk. I miss watching as she eats dinner I learned to make from my mother. I miss looking into her bright green eyes and seeing all the love she has for me... I just miss her so much and it hasn't even been a month. My heart wont stop aching from the loss of her presence and I can't make it stop. I need it to stop because god, I need her here. I need to watch her sleep and know she's safe and next to me. I need to hear her laugh, because the butterflies I feel when she does feels so amazing. I need her smile... I need her to look at me and smile as she says Camz.. I need my Marine back.." Sobbed Camila burying her face into Lauren's pillow, bringing the women in the room to tears.
Standing up from the couch where she had been seated by Taylor, Clara sat next to Camila as the bartender shook with her cries of pain, and pulled her tightly into her arms as she too cried tears of a different pain.
Camila melted into Clara's embrace, so thankful to have even a small part of Lauren holding her in her arms.
"It's okay Mija. Everything will be okay. My daughter is a strong woman, and I can honestly say without a doubt, I feel sorry for anyone who gets in her way from getting back to you. She's a very lucky woman to have a kind hearted and loyal woman waiting for her." Clara croaked with a shaky smile.
Camila pulled her head towards Clara, making the mothers heart melt at the puffy eyed latina in her arms.
"I'm the lucky one Clara. I was lucky the day my dad signed me up for that pen pal program. I was lucky when Lauren stepped into that bar. I've been so lucky lately, I just can't help but pray it doesn't run out." Camila whispered with her bottom lip quivering.
Clara kissed her forehead, and laid her head on Camils head with a smile.
"Trust in God Mija. Trust the fates that brought the two of you together." Clara whispered back quietly.
Camila closed her eyes as she nodded, and relaxed as her body began to calm.
Looking at her friends, she croaked,"Sorry about my little break down."
Demi wiped the tears that had lingered around the corners of her eyes, and said,"Don't apologize Mila. We all needed a good cry. It makes me hapy to see my bestfriend so loved, even when she isn't here. So since were on a role, how about the Time travelers wife?"
"Is this a science fiction movie?" asked Camila interested.
The woman gaped at her, shaking their head in disbelief.
"Oh Mija... Keep the pillow close by." Clara chuckled with a smile.