Kerri
I sit in the living room, when I hear the front door creak open. I look up to find Jason sticking his head in the door. I shake my head at him in disappointment. He doesn't have to tell me all that he's been up to. I already know. I heard his girl crying in his bedroom, when I left my room this morning. Jason is foul.
"Ash here, Ker?"
"No, but you need your ass kicked. If she ever decides to do that, I will help her." I turn the television off, preparing to have a heart to heart with my brother. I don't know where the hell his mind is at, but he needs to do some type of change.
Jason eases into the apartment, looking around suspiciously. You would have thought that he didn't live here by how he was acting. I swear the dog lifestyle isn't for him.
Jason closes his front door. "What time did she leave?"
"I don't know. Some time this morning." I shrug, eyeing him. "And where were you?" I know damn well where he was already.
"Some where." He answers, heading to the back to go to his room, I'm guessing.
I stand up and follow him. Jason looks over his shoulder at me as he walks into his bedroom.
"I'm about to go to bed. Where's Terrance?"
"Grabbing some food and other things. We're getting out of here in a couple days. You will have your space all to yourself. And haven't you slept enough? You're sneaking into your place at noon."
He doesn't say anything as he takes his shirt off and tosses it into the laundry basket by his closet. He sits on the edge of the bed and finally makes eye contact with me. I just lean on his door frame. I feel really bad that he's handling his break up this way. I knew that he didn't know what the hell he was doing, when he broke it off with Mel. He was acting off pure emotions.
"Have you tried calling her?" I ask, quietly
He shakes his head, looking down at his hands. "She's happy. Every other day she's posting pictures of her and him on the web."
"You do the same with Ashlee, and we both know that you're not happy. Your unhappiness is causing hurt and pain to others. Hell, Terrance had to pick up your car early in the damn morning, because you were drunk off your ass. I had to ride with him, to drive his car back. This is . . . " I shake my head, not sure what it is exactly. "Crazy." I mumble to myself.
Jason nods his head. "It is." He's still looking down at his hands. "She's getting over me. She took a picture with him, and I swear she were looking at him the way that she used to look at me."
I sigh, listening. I don't know if any of this is true. I haven't spoken to Mel in a little bit of time. She doesn't even know about my engagement. I've been so busy in my own little love nest and Jason's issues that I haven't check in with her at all. Regardless of how often we may or may not talk, she will always be my favorite. We have the kind of friendship where I don't have to remind her that she is my number one.
"Look, if you want her back, you have to talk to her and communicate that to her. You can't do what you're doing now. You're an asshole, Jason. That girl stayed in your room crying and calling you. She was worried sick about your inconsiderate ass. I knew that you were with that other light bitch, because you've been behaving real selfish lately. You think your heartbreak gives you the right to hurt others." I frown up, allowing myself to get upset with him. I take the shit that he's doing really personal, because Terrance used to treat me like shit. "You don't go fucking Ashlee and claiming that you want something with her, when . . . How the hell can you expect her to give you love, when you don't even love yourself?"
Jason licks his lips and looks at me slowly. "The only girl that I want to love me is loving someone else."
"You know . . . " I walk all the way into his bedroom. "If you want her, go get her. Who gives a fuck that she fucked Cameron? She didn't want him! She had always wanted you. She was just a little fucked up in the mind over you and your situations, and Cameron made her his only priority. By the time she tried to walk away from him, she was in deep. We've all fucked up. You have too, but she didn't walk away from you. She slapped your ass really good and decided to move the fuck on."
I watch as he covers his face with his hands, resting his elbows on his legs. I stand there for a few minutes not knowing what to say to him. "Listen, when Terrance and I leave, why don't you come along?"
He shakes his head with his face still in his hands.
I throw my hands up and walk out the room. I can't talk to him, if he's shutting down on me. I love him, but there's nothing else that I can do for him. Whatever is going on, he's going to have to figure that out.
*****
I open the front door to Ashlee. I almost wish that I didn't open the door, because I know that Jason doesn't want to talk to her, or anyone for that matter. He's been locked in his room for the past couple hours, since I tried to talk sense to him. I take a step back, letting Ashlee into the apartment. By the look on her face, Ashlee is going to make his day a whole lot worse.
"He's here?"
I nod without saying a single word.
She walks pass me, and I close the door. Terrance and I make eye contact for a moment as I take a deep breath in. I already know that it's about to go down. I sit down next to Terrance on the couch and lay my head on his shoulder.
"You really need to talk with him. He'll listen to you, if you tell him to talk to Mel. He's not going to listen to anyone else."
"That's not my business, baby. Maybe he doesn't want the damn girl back. We don't know what it is."
"Stop being a dummy. You - - - "
"Get the fuck out!" Jason screams, making me lift my head up and look down the hall.
I instantly stand up, but Terrance pulls me back down next to him.
"That's their relationship."
How is it that he can mind his business so well? I continue to look down the hall, ear hustling at this point.
"Don't fucking disrespect me!" Ashlee screams back at him. "You can't even pick up the damn phone, when I'm calling you? Where the fuck were you?"
I tense up a little, having the urge to stand up. I just want to pull Ashlee from Jason's room. I know how Jason can be at times, when he doesn't want to be bother. All she knows is the sweet Jason, but she doesn't know that he can be a complete asshole at times. I figure that she can try again later, because he's not having a great day as is.
Terrance puts his arm around my shoulders and grabs the remote control, turning the television up a little.
"You came barging in my fucking place - - -"
"You're right! Where the fuck were you?!"
I stand up and quickly move towards Jason's bedroom.
"Hey!" Terrance tries to grab my hand, but I'm already on the move.
I am not going let Jason take his aggravation out on the innocent girl. He knows better, but he's not in his right state of mind. I am going to kick his ass later. Hard. I walk into the bedroom to find Jason punching a hole in his wall. Ashlee stands back, covering her mouth with her hand in shock with tears coming from her eyes.
"Leave me the fuck alone!" He screams at her. "I don't feel like talking about this shit right now! I asked you to leave, leave!"
"Ashlee, maybe you could come back another time . . . - - -" I start to walk towards her, but she pushes pass me and runs out the bedroom. I glare up at Jason. "Stop being a fucking idiot!"
Terrance slowly walks into the room, eyeing Jason. He looks over at me and shakes his head. I already know that he will most likely lecture me about getting between Jason and Ashlee. I felt like I had to. Ashlee didn't deserve anything Jason lashed out at her.
"She's your woman. If she wants to hear about your whereabouts, answer her! Don't get upset ---"
"It's nobody's business where I'm at, or who I'm doing! Nobody! Matter fact, you and Terrance can get the fuck out!"
"What?" I scream, angrily at him. I start to stalk towards him, but Terrance grabs me around the waist. He holds onto me around my waist.
"I told you to mind your damn business, didn't I?"
I look up at Terrance's face with my lips pursed. What the hell does that have to do with anything? Our best friend just kicked us out.
"Ima need you to go sit your ass in the other room and let me talk to him for a minute. Please."
I push Terrance's arm from around my waist and walk off from him. I slam the door behind myself and put my ear to the door. I've never been any good at following orders. I actually suck.
"Look, man, I don't know what the hell is going on with you and . . . Ashlee, or whoever else you're banging, but you need to get your shit together. Females cheat and so do we niggas. Hell, Kerri and I are the champions in this shit. All we did was hurt each other to make the other person act right. The problem is that your pride is keeping you from calling your girl back and saying 'Hey, baby, I fucked up. I want this shit. Can I come get you?'" Terrance pauses for a second. "If she says no, then so be it. But I know for a fact that she is crazy about your ass."
"She could be carrying his child. How am I supposed to live with that shit?" Jason's voice cracks a little. "She was fucking with him the whole entire time that we were together. When I was faithful and giving her my fucking heart, she still felt the need to be with this nigga! The night at the hotel she made it sound like she had such a hard choice to make! How hard was it to choose me?"
I roll my eyes at how he is holding on to old things. He has a lot of facts and unfortunately, he is not exaggerating. Still, he doesn't understand why her choice wasn't so easy. He's only thinking about her actions. Mel hasn't always made the right choices with her relationship with Jason, but one thing about her is that Jason was her entire life.
"I've always took her back!" Jason screams. "Then, she has the nerve to be with Cameron, like whatever me."
"Nigga, you drove her home!" I can hear the frustration in Terrance's voice.
I silently cheer that he brought this point up. In everything that Jason says and does, he seems to forget this one simple fact. He could have prevented her from going back to Cameron. When he took her home, he left her alone and feeling vulnerable, bearing a child.
"You drove a fucking pregnant girl home and told her that you didn't want shit to do with her ass! You told her to call my ass . . . The nigga who lets it be known that he doesn't care too much about her! How did you think she would react?"
"Man, you can gone with all that." Jason says quietly. "Mel knew I care."
"What if she didn't?" Terrance questions. "I'm just saying, you both are to blame. You know I usually mind my own, because I don't like getting involved in people's shit. You're over here upsetting my wifey and got her feeling like she has to save your ass. Now I feel obligated to talk to your ass to calm her fucking nerves. I don't do this shit!"
A sad smile comes on my face, listening to my baby. Simple things like this reminds me how much he loves me.
"Jason, call her. That's all I'm going to say."
I scurry away from the door and plop down on the couch, trying to make it look like I've been sitting down the whole time. I look down the hall and see Terrance coming out the room with angry look on his face. He sits down next to me and puts his arm around my shoulders.
"I don't want to hear another word about this shit." He doesn't give me a chance to answer as he turns the television up to a higher volume.
I lay my head on his chest, peeking up at his face. He doesn't even look down at me. I'll take care of him later.
*****
I get off the elevator and head to the apartment. I had just brought my bag to my car. I wish that Terrance and I could ride back together, but I have to return the car that I drove up here in. As I get closer to Jason's apartment, Ashlee comes walking out of hers. I give her a sympathetic smile, getting ready to walk pass her.
"Kerri, can we talk for a second? Please?" She stops me from walking pass her.
"Sure." I eye her up and down suspiciously, already knowing who she wants to talk about.
Ashlee licks her lips a little. "Is he always like this?"
I open my mouth to answer her question.
"I'm falling for him, and I don't get it. I know that he's been hurt and he has a lot of emotional things that he's dealing with. I'm trying to be here for him, because I feel like he needs someone to care about him with everything that he's going through. I just don't understand why . . ." She tears up a little and turns around to look at Jason's front door. She turns back to face me. "Is he cheating on me?"
This isn't my place to answer her question. I may be pissed at Jason, but I will never tell anyone his business. "I don't think so." I lie, trying to keep from sounding guilty. "Jason is just . . . " I try to think of a word to best describe his asshole moves. "Stressed."
"And he misses her?" Ashlee hugs herself, looking down at the carpet. "I've seen the pictures in his phone and how happy he looked." She peeks up at me. "I have yet to see him look at me the he way that he looked at her."
You probably never will. I keep my thoughts to myself. Part of me just want to tell her to run far away from Jason, because he will destroy anyone in his path. He will destroy anyone, but Melissa.
"He needs time." And this is what I find myself saying. I swallow hard, looking around nervously.
"Time? He's so . . . " She pauses and shakes her head. "I don't know what to do." She finally admits.
"You do what you should do. Follow your heart and your mind. I have to get inside. My guy and I are leaving." I walk away from her and turn around to find her still standing in the same spot. "Ash." She looks over her shoulder at me. "If it helps any, you're a good woman. I think you will be good for him. Take care of him, when I leave."
"I'll try."
I continue to walk to Jason's door. I really do need to learn to mind my own business.