Katniss POV- (September, Willow is 19 months old)
"Peeta, I know that you are having a rough week with this all still and I get that but you don't have to ignore me." I blurt out to him.
"I'm not ignoring you, Katniss." Peeta says softly.
"If you would actually talk to me about what you feel I could try to help you." I remind him.
That's apart of being married I'm pretty sure, is talking to the other when you're upset and the other person trying to help you the best that they can, even if they can't.
He sighs, "It's not my stupid family Katniss. They aren't even important anymore. Just leave it alone."
"You have a family of your own now, Peeta. Just because your real family is dead and isn't important to you doesn't mean Willow and I should be too."
"I didn't say that. Just leave me alone, please?" Peeta's eyes turn cloudy looking as he softly asks me.
I sigh deeply, I know I should just leave him alone because obviously something is hitting him pretty hard right now.
"And you treat me like a princess and always have but could you please start helping me just a little bit more? Just with Willow." I start, "Since you opened the bakery it's like you come home and then go to bed and we never get to see each other anymore." I state, on the verge of tears.
He looks up from his food again, his neck stiff.
"It's like you're exhausting yourself again and I'm not trying to make you more tired but ugh, I just am really stressed out right now and you ignoring me is not helping a thing." I say wanting to pull my hair out.
Every since he opened that stupid bakery, I feel like he doesn't even remotely like me anymore. He pays very little attention to Willow and little to no attention to me. He's just sleeping in our bed, that's it. We haven't kissed in weeks and he never says he loves me either, unless I say it first and then he usually just nods his head and goes on. I'm not sure what's gotten into him but I don't like it.
He swallows his food, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not in front of Willow, I don't." I mumble.
I don't want her to ever see us fight. We are horrible to each other when we are mad and I don't want her to see it or hear it, especially since she's older.
"I can call Finnick to pick her up and we can do all the discussing we want." Peeta says kind of irritated.
I roll my eyes, "No, it's too late, we can just talk about it later, or never. Whatever. I just really don't care." I lie. And stand up, pushing my chair in and put my plate in the sink.
Willow, who has no clue what is going on just happily finishes her food. A minute later I start cleaning her up and I take her upstairs with me and give her a bath.
"What you doin'?" She asks me, knowing something is up.
I sigh and try to give a real smile, "I'm giving you a bath, silly." I say poking her belly.
She giggles and lets out a big yawn, rubbing her eyes.
"Are you sleepy, baby girl?" I ask her, rubbing her back gently.
Willow bobs her brown head.
"You want to go to bed after your bath?"
She shakes her head, 'No.'
"We can read your books." I suggest to her.
"Yep." Willow mumbles.
"Okay, you're all done." I say a few minutes later and drain the tub. I get her out and wrap her up in a towel. I snuggle her for a little bit before I get her dressed when we head into her bedroom. She sits in my lap in the chair and I read to her for awhile, snuggled up to me and her lamb. She falls asleep not that soon after and I put her in her crib and go to my bedroom where Peeta is and where I was hoping he was not.
I hold my breath when I walk in and his eyes meet mine.
"Peeta, I don't want to argue with you. Just leave it alone and let's go to bed." I say and shut the light off.
"Fine." Peeta says simply and lays down. He faces the opposite way from me and I face the opposite way too.
I start crying not long after, just wishing that things would get better between us and being so confused as to why they are the way they are.
It just all started falling apart after he opened the stupid place that has brought us a lot of money but that's not the point.
Slowly we started drifting apart and it's getting worse and this week marked two years that his family died and he's not taking it too well either.
My body trembles as I silently cry to myself and I decide I can't be in here any longer so I get up.
I go to the bathroom and then peak in at Willow who thankfully is still sleeping soundly. Then I go down stairs.
And see that stupid pile of laundry that's been there for two weeks, haunting me. I haven't had time to do anything but chase my daughter around, we haven't even been up to visit Peeta in over a month either, he says it's easier without us there and that really upset me since it's basically the only chance we get to see him. Plus, it's not just his bakery, it's ours. I put just as much work and money into it as he did and he said we could be there anytime we wanted.
This whole thing is just really upsetting me beyond being able to just merely push it back to deal with later.
Yes, I know that this is our house but he still helps make messes and yes, I know he's basically done everything for me the last how many ever years but he just dropped everything and doesn't do anything. He never cooks dinner, nor helps me cook it or watch Willow while I cook. He doesn't even play with her all that much anymore. He doesn't help me do dishes or laundry or pay bills or anything. Nothing.
It's not that I'm incapable of doing it myself or that he did it for five years and just stopped, that's not what bothers me so badly. It's the fact that we have a baby now and it's even more stress added to us both, and he's putting it all on me.
Simple things like putting up this damn laundry could've helped me so much but instead when he watches tv, he acts like it's not even there. He doesn't even put his dirty laundry in the basket, he puts in next to the basket or on the floor.
It's like he's doing things to just purposely piss me off and I'm getting sick of it.
I do some dishes from last nights dinner, where his plate still sits at the table and then I clean the kitchen as quietly as I can, hoping not to wake either of them.
I decide to start folding the laundry up and start more loads. I do laundry until about 4 o'clock and that's when I decide I need to try and go back to sleep, but I can't.
I lay on the couch, a nice warm blanket covering me. Buttercup jumps up onto my stomach, nestling up to me chest, purring. I sigh and just let him be.
I pet his ears and just enjoy the feeling of warmth he brings when I can't feel my sister's or my husband's at times like this.
I know it's 5am when I hear the alarm clock in our bedroom going off, a sigh and the sound of Peeta getting out of bed to turn it off. I close my eyes and try to believably appear to be asleep to Peeta.
I hear him coming down the stairs a few minutes later. He must've noticed I wasn't in bed or something, which is surprising.
I bury my face into the back of the couch, hoping he can't see my face and just wait for him to leave, hoping it's not too long of a wait.
Peeta hits that last stair, the one that always creeks and I know he's about to see me.
His bare feet pad across the hardwood floors as he comes over to the couch.
I breathe slowly and steadily, hoping he doesn't notice I'm awake. He's always been good at noticing when I'm faking be asleep.
I think he takes a seat on top of the coffee table, sliding the baskets of laundry over.
And he just watches me for awhile I guess.
Buttercup lifts his head up and hisses at Peeta.
"Get off of her." Peeta says a little angry sounding and I can feel Buttercup pawing and slapping at him.
I stay perfectly still, as if I don't have a clue in the world what's going on.
Peeta lets out a deep sigh.
"Yeah, you gripey cat. I know I'm screwing things up but I'm not trying to." Peeta mumbles to him and I feel the cat's weight being lifted off of me and hear a thud when he puts him on the floor.
I can imagine the attitude Buttercup is currently using to walk away right now.
"And you don't have to hate me for it either." Peeta says softly and I think the statement is directed more towards me than it was Buttercup.
I hold back a jerk of tears and Peeta walks out the front door, softly closing it behind him.
I wait until I hear the car leave to get up.
I start bawling.
I'm sure I'm just being overly dramatic but I just feel so helpless right now.
I want to talk to him about it but he's gonna get mad and so will I and it'll just end really bad and I don't want to pawn Willow off so that Peeta and I can scream and yell at each other for a few hours.
I'm not sure what to do.
At 8 am I hear a knock on the door and see that it's Peeta.
I slowly open up the door, "Yeah?" I ask him, as if he is just some guest or stranger showing up at my doorstep.
"I-um-I forgot my office key." Peeta says.
"Did you forget you're house key too?" I mumble harshly, the words just accidentally coming out of my mouth.
"No, I just didn't want to startle you when I just walked in the house."
"Here." I say and hand him the key that I found just minutes before on the kitchen table.
"Thanks." He says and turns and walks back to the car and leaves. Just like that. No actual 'goodbye' or 'I love you' or anything.
The tears start again and then I hear Willow hollering at me from her bedroom.
I go in and find her standing up in her crib, like I do most mornings.
"Good morning." I say, trying to hide the fact that I've been crying most of the morning.
Willow gives me a look, "It's okay." She says softly with a pouted lip and hugs me tight.
I smile sadly and hug her back.
She gives hugs just like Peeta does.
Warm and comforting.
"I know it is." I assure her and she gives me a kiss. She's finally figured out how to give a kiss, not all 'I'm eating half of your face' kisses, thankfully.
I change her diaper and change her clothes too and we go downstairs.
"Do you want some breakfast?" I ask her and she nods her head.
I quickly make her some pancakes and watch her devour them all in a matter of minutes.
"Was it yummy?" I ask her, wiping her hands and face off.
Willow nods.
"It's kind of nice today, do you want to go see Bristol?"
Her little blue eyes widen up and she starts clapping, "Yeah!"
I chuckle a little at her, "Okay, let's go upstairs and get mommy dressed and we can go." I say and she runs into the living room and takes my hand, pulling me up the stairs with her.
She lays on my bed with her lamb clutched in her arms and watches me while I get dressed and then I call Bristol.
(On the phone with Bristol)
"Hey, Katniss." She pipes.
I smile and sigh, "Hey."
"What's wrong?" Bristol immediately asks.
I hold back tears, mostly because Willow is right here watching me.
"Just having a rough week, are you busy?"
"No, I'm off until Friday. Do you need me to watch Willow?" She asks.
"No, I just need to talk to someone." I tell her truthfully.
"Well, alright. Get on over here." Bristol says.
"I'll be there soon." I say.
"Okay, are you guys hungry?"
"No, we just ate. Um, can you actually meet us at like the park or something?" I ask.
"Yeah, sure. We will be there in like twenty minutes." She says.
"Okay." I say and hang up.
I know that if I went to Bristol's apartment, it would make things worse for me on the whole Peeta situation so that's why I asked her to meet us at the park.
I need to be able to talk about Peeta, without being reminded of him in ways I would be by our own house and that apartment.
"We are gonna go to the park, Willow." I tell her.
She smiles, "Daddy?"
I frown, "No, baby. Daddy is at work. You're gonna play with Carter." I tell her.
It hurts me that she associated the park with Peeta and he's not even going to be there, but she and Carter get along really well so hopefully it'll help.
"Let's go." I say getting my car keys and cell phone.
We start out the front door and as soon as we are off the porch I say, "Ready?" And she nods, a huge grin on her face.
"One." I start, "Two." I say.
"Three!" I say and start slowly jogging to the car and she runs to the car the best she can, beating me there.
She's great at walking, she's just really clumsy and trips over herself a lot and wants to go faster than her little legs allow her to.
"I win! Momma! I win!" Willow squeals and jumps up and down.
I laugh and give her a high five.
"Good job!" I say excitedly.
I buckle her up in her car seat and we head to the park.
Bristol beat us there and Carter is already playing when we arrive, thankfully there's not a lot of people here too. Willow wobbly climbs up to where Carter is playing and they sit down side by side.
She drinks her cup while Carter mumbles things to Willow.
I smile at them both and feel Bristol's eyes on me.
"Katniss, tell me what's wrong." She says.
I turn to her, "Peeta and I have been having trouble lately." I start.
"With?"
"Everything. Or maybe it's just me."
"What do you mean?"
I shrug, "Maybe I'm the one who has problems and Peeta's perfectly fine too. I don't know."
Bristol sighs, "Katniss, you're going to have to better explain to me what is happening for me to understand."
"Just everything is bad. Peeta is never home and Willow and I aren't allowed to be up there anymore-"
"Why?" She cuts me off.
"Hell, I don't know. Peeta says he can get more work done but I don't know how. And then he doesn't get home until 7 or 8 every night and then he gets home and does nothing. He doesn't even pay attention to Willow while I'm cooking supper and then I have been having to do all the laundry and dishes and pay our bills and do pretty much everything. I have to worry about myself and Willow too and picking up after both of them and I'm so fed up."
"Have you talked to him about it?" She frowns.
"I tried and I don't want us to fight in front of Willow and then last night I tried and he told me to leave him alone and I just don't know what to do." I say starting to cry.
I glance up to check on Willow and then back at Bristol.
"I can watch her if you guys need to talk."
"I don't even want to talk to him because I know it'll make it worse." I mutter.
She sets her hand on my back, "Sweetie, you don't know that. Maybe it'll get better and you guys can both make up. You don't know until you try." Bristol says.
I sigh, "I feel like we aren't even together anymore. He literally doesn't say anything at dinner nor before bed. He just basically sleeps in my bed every night and then leaves before I could even greet him in the morning. We haven't kissed in I don't know how long and he doesn't even say 'I love you' unless I tell him first. And sometimes he doesn't even say it back." I start to cry.
She frowns.
"This morning, he left some keys at the house and knocked on the front door and I handed him the keys and he left without saying really anything. It was like he was a stranger." I tell her.
Bristol sighs, "What happened that made all this occur?"
"I don't know. I think it's the bakery but I don't know what it is. Then it didn't help that this week was 2 years since his family died but it hasn't really made a difference." I tell her.
She frowns, "I don't know what to tell you. Maybe he is just as stressed out as you are or something. I don't know but I think you need to talk to him. Maybe it's just a misunderstanding."
"About what?" I ask her.
"I'm not sure." She says defensively back.
I sigh deeply, "What do I do?" I ask her, staring at the rocks on the playground.
"I am not sure, Kat. Just keep your head up and be there for Willow."
"I am." I say.
I feel like I'm a single mom, honestly. Which I would be perfectly okay at being if I didn't have a husband but I do. It would be one thing if Peeta wasn't here but he is and we are suppose to raise her together.
"Maybe something happened and he just hasn't told you?" Bristol suggests.
"But he's suppose to tell me anything, he knows he can talk to me about anything." I say truthfully.
***No, Peeta is not cheating on her. 25 comments, new chapter is ready!!!