I swear, you're the only reason I keep breathing... Because you keep on giving me the reason to keep believing.
----------------------------------------------
"What are you planning to do?"
What, indeed...
He was here. Death was here. "You know what I want." Yato's eyes widened. "Akira, you mustn't--" He suddendly started coughing. It was painful just watching him in such a state.
"I want him to live." I could hear loud laughter.
"So you call out for me and tell me that you want him to live. Sure, why not just what would you sacrifice for his life? Think about it. He is a god. He can be reborn, anytime. It doesn't matter wether he dies now or tomorrow."
"It does... It does matter!!" I clenched my fists. "I don't want him to wake up and suddendly realize that he doesn't know anything about his past-life... I don't want him to be another person from how he is, now... I want him to be the same! I want him to stay as he is right now!! Because I think that I would not be able to bear it, if he forgot everything... If he forgot who he really was and who he was to me...!"
If he were to lose his memories... There would always be that little hope in me...
For a while it was quiet.
That little hope... That you suddendly remember one day and realize who you were to be.
"You're like your mother... Just as foolish and lightheaded as she was. Just as troublesome."
But if your memories wouldn't return... I would have to try to bring them back to you.
I smiled. "Yeah. I am troublesome."
Bringing all these memories back to you... Would just be like a barren place. Reaching out for that goal would be a journey.
"Then... In order to keep him alive... You will just have to sacrifice one thing."
I was shaking. What was it? My soul? My life? Anything would be fine... Anything as long as I can keep Yato alive... As long as he can stay the same person, he is right now...
A journey for which I don't have a map for.
"Your immortality. Your ability as a Yokai."
I didn't know how to react. If I should be sad. If I should cry. If I should be happy that I expected worse. If I should get angry about the fact that I wouldn't be able to stay by Yato's side as a Yokai to protect him...
I gazed at Yato. He was breathing heavily. "Akira... Don't..."
But in the end... If I became a mere human it would mean that I would be able to live without Yato being in danger whenever I am... It would mean that I can go back to those days in which Yukine, Hiyori, Yato and I were together. Everything... Would be fine again, but...
"Humans are reborn, too, you have to know."
My eyes widened as soon as I heard that sentence.
"It may take decades or centuries... Even millenniums... But they will be reborn. Someday."
I bit on my lip for a while. "Why are you telling me this?" Death just laughed.
"Why? I don't know. Maybe because I am a little bit envious of you... You are alive. You have a life. Unlike me, who only takes everything and everyone away and only leaves fading memories and untold desires..."
I didn't know how to answer that. Maybe it was just my imagination, but... He sounded sad...
I stood up. "Fine. You can take my immortality."
It took a while until I had an answer.
"Are you really sure about that? Once it's done, it cannot be undone."
I nodded softly. "I know... And I am fine about that. As long... As he will be able to live. To live as the person he is, right now. I am fine. Even if I die and will take an enternity to see him again... I will remember him for sure! I will meet him again for sure! He will wait for me! I am sure he will!!" I noticed how a small tear escaped my eye.
"After all... He is my hero! That's why... That's why I don't mind! I am sure he will wait for me! I am... Sure..." I put on a faint smile.
"Fine... As you say."
I suddendly felt a hand laying itself on my eyes.
"Let's meet again soon, Akira."
I laughed softly at that comment. "I hope not." His laughter was the last thing I heard. Then everything went black.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
"Akira... Akira!" My eyes flutter open. I see a familiar face in front of mine. I sat up. My head hurt. "Yato...?" Suddendly he grabbed both of my hands. With a piercing pain in my head I remembered.
"You idiot!! Why did you do that?! I am a god! I will be reborn anyways!! Why... Why did you do that?!" He buried his face in my hands. "I am a god...! I am the greatest god of them all...! So why... Why..."
I pulled my hands away and wrapped my arms around him, instead. Tears started rolling down my cheek. "You are alive... Thank god!", I hiccuped. I was shaking, as his arm slowly wrapped around my waist. I was just so happy...
I was a person... Who always used to cry and give up.
For a while it was quiet. "Akira, there... Is something I want to say to you." He didn't let go of me.
I always took distance from others because I was afraid of getting hurt...
"For so long... I have acted like an idiot... I hurt you... I wanted you to be happy but I... I hurt you..." I felt how his grip around me tightened.
I made a lot of things wrong.
"I did a lot of things that hurt you... And I know... I am an ass for only admitting that now... But..." He let go of me. He put his hands on my cheeks and our eyes met. My vision still was blurry from the tears. He gently tried to rub them away with his thumb.
But then I met you...!
Only then did I realize thay faint blush on his face. His eyes were looking at me, as if he worried about something. "I... I no longer want to hurt you...! I never wanted that from the beginning!"
You tried helped me... No matter how troublesome I was. No matter how much of a burden I might have been.
He opened his mouth. "I... I want you to be happy!"
I always wanted you to stay by my side... Of course that wish was foolish, but...
"I want you to be happy and I want to make you happy! I don't want to see you cry anymore if it's not out of joy... I don't want you to put on a fake smile whenever you feel sad..."
...I just wanted to be with you.
"I want to see a real smile!! I don't want you to be lonely anymore... I... I want you to be by my side! And if you still do feel lonely... There still are Hiyori and Yukine...! But however... I..."
You managed to change me.
"I... I want to ask you to continue staying by my side even as a human!"
That's why... I am not afraid to die, if it is for you.
"I don't know if you still feel the same as back then but... If you do then... Um..." He awkwardly scratched the back of his head.
Because I love you.
I started to laugh. "H-Hey! Why are you laughing?!" I felt a bit flustered. Yet I was happy. It really was as if nothing happened at all.
I love you...
"That almost sounds like a marriage proposal." Yato blushed. "Damn... I am trying my best to find good words to say and then you come along and say a thing like that..." I smiled. "Thank you Yato..." His eyes widened a bit. "For what?"
"For feeling the same way about me as I do about you..." I felt a bit blood rushing to my cheeks. "I still love you, Yato..."
He smiled. His face was still a bit red. His smile looked warm and caring. I wanted to keep that image in my head. "Yeah... I love you, too... Akira..."
Finally words which have been buried in the deepest corner of my hearts, for a while, have been told. Things, that never should have happened, were forgiven. And my past, which almost only brought me misfortune was forgotten. I was able to look ahead, into the future. I was able to stay by the person I love. I was able to continue my life, not being slone anymore.
After this realization came to me, a lot of things happened. I continued to stay by Yato's side, as he wished. Yukine returned to Yato. Both looked as if they were almost crying when that happened.
A grave for my father was set and I continued to visit it as often as possible.
Nora never returned. Nobody knew what happened to her. And maybe it was better like that.
My life as a human continued. I finally was happy. I was able to stay with the friends I made. I was able to keep on continuing life with no regrets.
It doesn't matter how long it would take until I was reborn, after I would die. They will wait for me! It can even take milleniums... I'm sure they will wait for me...
I know they will...
I know he will...
[Author's Note]
Heyaaaa!! Another chapter has been written in one of my sleepless nights as a desperate highschool girl ;u;
How did you like this chapter? Please give me feedback!! I wanna know wether I can do something better, the next time I try to write a fanfiction similar to this one, or not v.v
Btw, the next chapter will already be the epilogue c: After that I may write another extra chapter but after that chapter, this fanfiction will be completed and I will start writing two other, new ones X3
However, see yah in the next chapter, dear readers (っ'▽')っ