Melissa
I feel his fingers gently going across my face. I lick my lips as I feel his fingers on my face. He cups my chin in his hand, and he presses his lips against mine again. I stand on my toes, and he puts his free arm around my body. I put my arms back around his neck again as our kiss deepens. His tongue tastes so sweet in my mouth. I pull away to catch my breath. I look at him shyly not believing what is going on between us. He just stares back at me lustfully.
Jason grabs my hands pulling me back to him. I blush and smile a little stepping between his legs. He just keeps his eyes on me biting his bottom lip. I make the first move and hungrily kiss his lips again. I simply can't get enough of Jason. He puts both arms around my body, and I have never felt as intoxicated as I feel at this moment. He gently bites my bottom lip. He kisses my lips again.
*****
I walk into Antonio's house with Cameron. The aroma of weed takes over my nose immediately. Cameron keeps his arms around my waist as we walk through the house. I'm not really feeling this type of environment, but I'm here with him. He told me that he had some shit to do at Antonio's house and he wanted me to come to the house with him. I really didn't want to come, because this house is the party house from what Jasmine had told me. Well, as much as I tried to stay in the house, I ended up here.
I keep replaying the conversation that I had with Terrance. I'm still so hurt by everything. I don't know how it seems that Jason has moved on completely from me. It feels as though everything between us was a lie. I mean, why even propose and run away with me to get married, if you're going to walk away the first signs of a problem?
I look up at Camrron's face as he talks with Marcus. I try to look happy around Cameron, but the truth of the matter is that I'm really hurt and sad. And in some sick kind of way, I still hope that this is Jason's baby that I'm carrying. I just want some part of him in my life. I know that if this isn't his baby, that I will lose him forever.
"Ma, go upstairs. If you need me, I'll be in the basement." Cameron whispers into my ear.
I instantly think about the first night that I let him put his lips on me. The night that made Jason step out on us. Maybe I should have kept that to myself and we can still be together. I'm not really upset about him cheating on me with the town's slut. I'm upset with how he's deciding to handle everything. It's like he thinks it's okay for him to do asshole things and becomes one the moment that he realizes that my fuck ups are bigger than what he thought.
Cameron kisses my cheek and walks away. I stand there for a moment, looking around. The last time he left me for his family, they gave Victoria a hundred reasons to dislike my ass. Now that I'm pregnant and it could be his child, I'm sure this bitch is planning my funeral.
I slowly make my way to the stairs, wondering who is going to greet me at the top. It's not a secret that I'm not in love with Cameron's family. I thought that I could like Jasmine, but she likes to gossip about my business to my brother. I don't know why everyone finds my life so fucking interesting that my name stays on their lips. I turn around when I get half up the stairs to look at Cameron.
Cameron is looking at me. I give him a tiny smile and turn back around to continue to make my way up the stairs. I hate that I'm here right now.
My phone rings, before I get to the top of the stairs. I pull it out of my clutch and smile at the sight of Kerri's name. It's crazy how much I miss her. I take the call and put the phone to my ear.
"What's up, Ker?"
"Girl." She whispers loudly through the phone. "Jas is over here acting reckless!"
"Jason is no longer my business." I really don't care what he's doing and who he's doing it with. I know that Kerri is just trying to keep me informed, but the shit is just so heartbreaking. I'm not ready to picture him with some girl, because I know that he's a good guy. Damn . . . I fucked up.
"You two . . . - - -"
"He didn't tell you that he went and changed his fucking number and told your boy not to give me the fucking number?" All my mushy feelings about him suddenly disappears. It's weird, because I love him and hate him in the same fucking breath.
"He did what?"
I knew that he didn't tell her that he's trying to walk completely away from me. He sits around and pretends to be the good guy, because he's sending me money. He says he wants to be here for me, but his actions aren't showing me that.
"He changed his fucking number." Thinking about it, pisses me off all over again. This is by far the pettiest thing that he could have done.
I walk into the nearest bathroom, wanting to make sure that I don't bump into any of Cameron's family. Lord knows that I don't need it right now in my life. I close the bathroom door and take a seat on the toilet.
"I'm going to kick his ass. Girl, you want me to give you his new number? Four, zero - - -"
"I don't want his number, if he doesn't want me to have it." I say, stubbornly. I shouldn't have to beg anyone to have his number. If he doesn't want to be with me, fine. I just think that he's going about everything the wrong way. Ever since the day that he took me home, he's been a completely different Jason. I wonder if I had something to do with his change.
A knock on the door makes me look up.
"Ker, I will call you later. I'm out with Cameron."
"You do that. Just know that I'm going to keep an eye on Jason, girl. He won't be getting no pussy around me."
I smile and giggle a little at her words. "Cock blocker."
"Yep, we know."
The person on the other side of the door knocks harder on the door. I sigh and stand up. "Love you, boo. Bye." I end the call with Kerri and walk over to the door and open it.
Cameron is standing on the other side of the door. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I know that I haven't done anything. Hell, I haven't even talked with Jason, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Maybe because I know that my heart is still with Jason.
"You're good?"
I nod and look down at my phone for a second. "I was just talking with Kerri. She was telling me that she made it to Atlanta safe." This isn't exactly a lie. I mean, I'm sure she did make it safe.
Cameron nods a little, but I can tell that he wants to say something. Perhaps ask me if I have spoken to Jason, since the last conversation.
"We'll be here for a couple hours. Cool?"
I nod and walk pass him to head to Jasmine's room. I turn around to look at Cameron and he is just staring at me. Truthfully, I don't think I will ever cheat on Cameron, because the one person that I want . . . Will never want me again.
*****
Cameron pulls me into his arms as we lay in bed together.
"Why you have so much clothing on?" He asks, fingering my shirt that's two sizes too big.
I normally don't wear clothes in bed, but lately I haven't been feeling like sleeping in the nude. Admit it, Jason is the reason that you slept naked. I think to myself. Ugh. I hate that he stays on my mind constantly.
"Babe, take this off. You're making me hot as hell. You have this shirt on and these shorts."
"Turn the air condition up a little, if you are hot."
"That's not what I meant." Cameron says in a hurry. He slips his hand under my shirt and begin rubbing my bare stomach. "How do you feel?"
Lately this is his number one question. He wants me to share my thoughts and feelings. I don't like discussing how I feel with anyone. But Jason. "Okay."
"Did Jasmine tell you about my mother?"
It's been a few days, since we went over my mom's house, and I told her about his personal life. I forgot all about that conversation.
"Yeah. I'm sorry for bringing that up at that time, I just wanted my mom to ---"
"It's fine." He's quiet for a moment, causing tension in the air between us. "Did she tell you what happened?"
"No, but you don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to. I'll understand."
"Why are you trying to push me away from you?" Cameron shifts in the bed a little, so that he is leaning over me partially. "I want you to know about me. Don't you want to know who I am?"
I turn to lay on my back and look into his eyes. I've never thought about this question. There's only a handful of people that I know really well and those people I care about every single detail of their life. I've never put too much thought into who Cameron is outside the drug dealer, club worker, college going, homewrecker kid.
"Who are you?" I ask him, my voice filled with curiosity.
"It was a heart attack that killed her." He wastes no time to tell me about his mother. "Before her death, she was taking care of Jasmine and I. When she left, Jasmine moved in with our aunt, and I begun working in the streets to take care of the things that she may need. I work these streets to pay for my education, help my little sister, and ensure that I make our life a little better. This was never my plan. Never. This is some shit that Marcus did and Antonio did on the side. This wasn't the shit that I wanted to do. I do this, because I don't have a choice."
The whole time that he talks, my eyes don't leave his. I have a new clear understanding of who Cameron is.
"I'm going to stop being in the streets, after you give birth. I promise. Give me time."
"Okay."
He brushes his fingers along my cheeks. "I love you. Are you willing to be patient for us? I know that you have a lot of feelings and that you're dealing with a lot of hurt. I'm just asking you to be patient and see what can happen between us."
I nod my head. At first I thought maybe I didn't have a choice, but to be patient for us. After hearing how he feels inside, I know that I can be patient.
"Baby, lay down and hold me." I say, sitting up and kissing his lips, gently. I break the kiss and pull my shirt over my head and toss it on the bed. "I'm suddenly hot."
Cameron pushes my legs, so that he is between them. He eases himself on top of me. I put my arms around his neck, closing my eyes.