Chapter 16
Patricia Kelly
"Jessica Clarke?" I hiss, my hand still cupping my stinging cheek. "I don't even know you. Much less, do I know you from school. "
Jessica steps back, hurt clouding her eyes. "Yeah I know.. It's just I recognized you, so I-"
I raise my hand in front of her face, signalling her to stop talking. "You do not know me," I growl under my breath, barely audible.
Jessica purses her glossy lips in a circular form. Her eyes dart away for my gaze, and her hand runs through her hair. She shrinks a little bit, too. She was very confident about talking to me, but she seems nervous now.
Don't piss off the dead girls' best friend.
"Look." Jessica lifts her gaze evenly up to mine, straightens, and places her hands tightly over her chest. "You could have just said, 'thank you'. I saved your life after all."
I roll my eyes, before I can stop myself. "I didn't want to be saved!" I shriek, throwing my arms into the air, then slapping them onto my thighs. "I just wanted to end my pain, alright?" My eyes flicker to the railing.
Jessica, noticing me eyeing the bridge ledge, steps forward and places her hand on my shoulder. "Patricia-"
I flinch away from her grasp, and glare at her angrily. "Leave me alone! You didn't lose your best friend. You didn't lose everything that mattered to you! You don't understand my pain!!"
She puts her hand down by her side, and stares at her feet. "I did lose someone who mattered..." Jessica mutters miserably.
I stare blankly at her, I have no idea what to say. The uncomfortable silence thickens that it's almost unbearable. I shift the weight in my feet. Left, right. Right, left. Finally I break the silence, as if someone had broken glass. "Uhm..." I croak.
Jessica puts her hands on her hips, and glares. "Yeah. That's right. I lost my boyfriend. He gave me this-" She raises her hand, and points at her ring-finger. "right before he died," her voice cracks on the last word.
I focus my gaze on Jessica's right hand. I realize there's a sparkle when the moon hits it. I take a step forward to observe it.
"It's a promise ring." She stares at it with grief.
I make a scenario in my head when she says that. I imagine Justin giving me a promise ring and then all of a sudden, he vanishes. I jolt from that thought. I feel pity for the fragile girl in front of me. I feel like kicking myself for saying she doesn't understand pain. She probably understood pain more than me. "How long ago...?"
She answers without looking up from her ring, "A year ago. Well it'll be a year in two months."
She's survived this long without the love of her life, yet I can't survive a month without Sammie. I feel ashamed, as my cheeks start to burn. "What happened? How... How did he die?"
Jessica catches my gaze. "He killed himself. His parents had died from a car crash a few years before, so he had to live with his uncle. His uncle would get drunk every night, and he'd escape through the window and come hang out at my house. Whenever I'd ask him what was wrong, he'd dismiss it and say nothing was wrong. One night, I got him to tell me. His uncle would beat him, and tell him that it was his fault that his parents were dead. His uncle would say he was a worthless little boy and he didn't deserve to live. I don't think his uncle ever tried killing him, but he was convinced he wasn't allowed to live. When I told him that we should tell someone about his uncle's drinking, he said we couldn't. He said that all Latinos drink at night, that even his parents would drink at night." Jessica looks up to the sky, probably trying to hold her tears in.
I hesitate before walking up to her and putting my arm around her to comfort her.
"One night, he called me, and said, 'I love you. I always will. I just-I just can't anymore. I'm sorry, Baby.'" Jessica lifts her hands to her face. "I was stunned by what he was saying. I couldn't understand. So I was just there, sitting on my bed, saying, 'Santiago, what do you mean? Santiago, answer me! SANTIAGO!' I was tempted to go to his uncle's house, but I knew he wouldn't have liked that, especially since it was night already. So I went to his favourite place on Earth. He used to like to go to this place, just beyond this bridge. It was a clearing in that forest," She points to the forest behind me. "He used to bring his camera with him, to take pictures... He used to love taking pictures." Jessica looks down to the camera around her neck. "Anyways, so I go there, and I do find him. He's just... He had hung himself on a tree and he had left a note for me, with his camera, telling me to take real good care of her." She sniffles, and I hug her. At first she stiffens, but she gives into my hug after a moment. I let her cry into my shoulder, as she wails Santiago's name.
I take a look at Santiago's forest. It doesn't look very welcoming, but Jessica says that he felt comfort coming here. She says the clearing is beautiful. She had planted some flowers for Santiago to take pictures. She said that was over three years ago though, but the flowers still grow.
. . .
Justin Carter
I call my girlfriend because I had gotten a really bad feeling about her. When she doesn't answer, I get paranoid. I decide to go to her house, to see if she's home. I stop mid-thought. I don't know where she lives though. I smack my palm to my forehead.
I am such an idiot...
I call Pattie's number a few more times, getting angrier by the second. I think about how in some movies, the stalker would track the cell number, all the way to the girl. I shake my head, disappointed in myself. Why would I need to stalk her? I guess I wouldn't have to stalk her if she would answer her damn cell! I call her one more time, and when I hear her voicemail, I leave a message:
"Answer your damn cell, damn it!"
Desperate, I jump out of bed and rush down the stairs. I have a very bad feeling about this. I stumble a couple of steps, but regain my balance and run out the door.
I decide to sprint, for it was the fastest way to travel around the city. I could've taken my car, but I feel like there'd be traffic, so running would be faster. Being an ex-football star, my cardio wasn't too bad. I swing my head in all directions, trying to figure out which house would be Pattie's. I feel a drop on my forehead. I look up, just as another drop lands on my chin. Soon, it starts pouring.
"Where are you..?" I cough, in between puffs of air, ignoring the cold rain soaking my clothes.
If someone I knew died, what would I want to do? Would I want to stay home? Probably not. If I was trying to block the world out, where would I go? Somewhere where there aren't much people. Somewhere far from the city, maybe. I draw a map in my mind, seeing if there are any places outside of the city where someone who wants to be alone would go. I'm so wrapped in my thoughts, I don't realize the lights turn red, signalling not to cross the road.
Screech!
The sound of tires against asphalt rings in my ears. Bright lights flash in my eyes, blinding me. I feel like a deer trying to cross a highway. I feel the cold, wet road under me. My clothes, already soaked, try absorbing the puddles on the ground. I smell burned rubber, and the smell of rain. They don't make a good combination. My head throbs, and soon I'm surrounded by two people yelling to see if I'm alright. A man and a woman. A couple.
Patricia.
I force myself up, even if my muscles scream for me to stay put. The couple tells me to stay while they call an ambulance. I push them out of my way, and attempt to run. I collapse back onto the road. I desperately suck air into my lungs. Black splotches block my vision, and I feel dizzy as if I'll pass out.
No, you can't pass out. Keep it together. Find-
A wave of exhaustion washes over me. I feel myself weakening. I feel hands on my hips, so I smack them off. My hips and elbows burn painfully. I feel them throb. I cup my elbow in my hand, as I feel blackness try to take over my mind. I look down to my hand, and almost start panicking. Dark red, warm liquid sticks to my hand.
"It's going to be okay, kid. We'll get you to the hospital and get you fixed up. We just need your name. Mind telling us what it is?" The voice sounds distant, but I see the man right in front of me, behind the black in my eyes.
"Patricia. I need-" I croak weakly, threatening to pass out at any moment.
"Patricia? Your name's Patricia?" The woman demands sternly.
I shake my head, but I'm not sure if I actually do. My body doesn't seem to be obeying my commands anymore. An image of a bridge, with a forest on the other side and a highway underneath pops into my head.
That's where she is.
I attempt getting up again and fight through the struggle of keeping myself upright.
I arrive just in time-or at least I thought I did. Patty's hugging a crying girl, wailing some guy's name who I figured probably dumped her. Patty is silent while she strokes the girl's back comfortingly, but I see some tears streaming down her face. She looks so peaceful even though the tears would betray it. I debate whether I should go interrupt and be there for Patty or if I should stay where I am. Which would be better?