Chapter 15
Justin Carter
I trudge through the school halls, one thing in mind. Find Pattie. Pattie hasn't been herself since the funeral. She wouldn't return my calls, she would ignore me when I tried talking to her, she just didn't seem interested in anything anymore. I was worried for her. I turn the corner, and shove a blonde chearleader out of my way. She protests behind me, yelling foul words. I ignore her. Where is Patricia? I think back to the last time I saw her.
The funeral.
I shake my head dismissively.
No, I had seen her a few days after the funeral.
Patricia's locker's is in sight. No one's there though. I slow my pace, furrowing my eyebrows. Has she even been to school, I wonder to myself. I did see her a few days after the school funeral, but she wasn't in school. She had been at the grave. Sam's grave. She had been putting down some pink flowers. Enrique was beside her, staring at the stone with intense grief. I turn on my heels and walk away from Pattie's locker.
. . .
Patricia Kelly
I watch a bird land on a branch of the tree covered in melting frost outside my window. I sigh. It reminds me of the time Sammie had bought me Hiro. I turn towards my white cockatiel. He tilts his head so that his eyes look towards me. Hiro was a present from Sammie. I almost had given Hiro away, but I didn't have the heart to do that. Hiro was a part of my life now, he reminded me of Sammie. I turn back towards the window. I was lying on my bed, not making any effort of getting to school. I hadn't been to school in three weeks. My parents didn't know. I would leave at the same time as them, and then hide behind a bush until I made sure they were gone. Then I'd walk to the graveyard. Enrique would always be there. We would stare at the stone in silence for an hour, before walking away without breathing a word to each other. I'd sneak back into the house after, and lie on my bed all day, staring out the window. I would mostly cry myself to sleep everyday, and then wake up just as my parents come home. Then I would tell them I'm off to a friends' house. They knew better, but they didn't say anything.
Click!
That was my cue to get out of bed, and wipe the tears from my eyes. I hop down the stairs, and greet my parents just as I'm about to leave.
. . .
Enrique Fernandez
I stare at the metallic letters on the stone that read "girlfriend". I guess she wasn't officially my girlfriend, but Pattie says she loved to be called my girlfriend. There were times when I was with her, that I was tempted to call her, "my girl", but I wasn't sure if she'd like that. Plus I had a reputation to maintain. I had to play that, "bad boy" act to not seem like a pussy. I breath in real hard, making the tears stay in my eyes. I was a pussy. I kicked Sammie out of my house. What kind of guy does that to a pregnant girl?
A pussy.
I feel a presence beside me. I do not flinch nor turn in her direction. I stare at her from the corner of my eye. She places pink flowers on top of the stone. Then she sits beside me, nods in my direction and stares at the dirt. I focus my attention back to the stone. I sigh. A puff of smoke escapes my lips.
"Winter is just around the corner." I realize she's turned towards me.
I nod.
"Sammie used to love winter. She'd love making snow angels and snowmen." Pattie looks towards the sun, low in the sky. It was just rising. Pattie and me would sit in front of Sam's grave for an hour before parting ways. Never had we spoken though. I didn't plan to start either. I turn back towards Sam's grave, ignoring Pattie until she was silent once more.
When the hour was over, I got up and went in the opposite direction of Patricia. She left without saying a word. She probably knew that if she tried talking, I wouldn't answer. I hadn't spoken to her since the school funeral. I had to let someone know how I actually felt for Sammie. It had almost been a month since her death. Patricia didn't seem to be doing so well. I barely knew her, but I could tell when someone was in pain; and she was in pain. Her eyes, used to be so bright and sparkly, now they were dead. Her lips used to curl upwards, and laughter would escape, now her lips were always struggling to stay up and wails would escape her gritted teeth. Her hair used to be silky and smooth, now it was replaced with an uncombed jungle. I worried for her. I'd always expect her not to show up one morning. I'm always relieved when I see her. Same time, every day. I don't know what I'll do when I don't see her one morning. Will I go look for her? I shake my head, and shove my hands in my jean pockets.
. . .
Patricia Kelly
Vroom! Zoom! Vroooom!
I sneak a peak down to the highway below. Cars zoom by at 120 KM/hour. There were always car accidents on this highway. Yet people would ask themselves why there were so many crashes. I lean back on the hard, cold bridge-wall. I was on a bridge. I'd come here everyday after my parents came home, since the school funeral. I'd watch the cars and debate whether I should jump and end my pain here and now. I never jump though, because I know Enrique will be expecting to see me the next morning at 9:00 AM. I look up towards the now visible stars. I trace my fingers across the stars as if I can touch them, and connect the dots. I spell the name, "Sammie." My phone vibrates in my pocket. I ignore it, until it goes silent. Then it starts ringing again. I groan, and shove my hand into my pocket. I read the called ID. I answer and then hang up immediately.
. . .
Justin Carter
I scan the graveyard, expecting to see my girlfriend kneeled in front of Sammie's grave. I look down to my feet. I hadn't visited Sammie's grave at all. I feel bad, but I'm terrified. No one I ever knew had died before. I didn't know how you were supposed to act. It's not like Sammie and I were close. Not like Enrique and Pattie anyways. I read the names on the graves until I find Sammie's. Fresh flowers, from this morning it seems, line the top of the stone. They were here, but I missed them. I check my watch. 2:50 PM. I better get home. I take a a quick last glance at Sammie's grave.
"You take care now, Sam," I whisper before leaving.
I decide to stop at A&W on the way home. I take my time to order and pick a seat. I take my time to eat and stare at today's paper. I read front to back, every word. I check my watch. 5:12 PM. That's the longest time I've ever taken to eat a burger, I think to myself as I gulp down the last piece.
When I get home, I take my cell out and dial Pattie's number. When it gets to voicemail, I redial. I hear she picks up, so I prepare myself to greet her. The line dies before I have the chance to say anything. I frown. I really need to talk to Patricia. I hate to see her like this. She doesn't deserve this pain. I throw my phone on the bed, and plop down on my bed at the same time. I bury my head into the pillow, then debate whether I should scream into it. I decide that's a girl thing, so I just position my head to look at the bare wall.
. . .
Patricia Kelly
I blink my eyes a few times, to try to feel more awake. I yawn, while stretching. I lie on my bed for a while, then roll on my side to look at my clock on the dresser. 8:20 AM. I have 40 minutes before I need to get to the cemetery. I stare out the window until my parents are about to leave. I jump out of bed and rush down the stairs. I kiss them both goodbye then hide behind a bush until they leave.
It seems colder today. The skies are dark grey, the grass and rooftops are covered in frost, and it seems it will snow tonight. I stare up at the sky and smile.
"I bet you're excited to see snow, aren't you Sammie?" I talk to the sky, jabbing a finger into the air. I laugh at myself, something I haven't done in almost a month. The laugh starts to hitch in my throat, and I soon start to wail. "Sammie!"
When I get to the cemetery, my cheeks are frozen. My tears froze over. I try wiping it away, without success. I had picked my pink flowers on my way here. I place them on top of the gravestone and nod beside me. I always nod in his direction, except this time I was nodding to no one. I stare beside me as if I can't believe what is happening. Enrique isn't here. I scan the cemetery to see if he's maybe somewhere else. The cemetery's empty.
Where is he?
I wait almost half an hour, before I start panicking. Did something happen to him, did he sleep in?
He killed himself.
I freeze. Did I really just think that? I close my eyes, and groan. Well it's always a possibility. I stand up in one quick motion and leave the graveyard. Enrique was the one keeping me together and now he didn't show up one day. I feel like my world was ripping apart. Everyone was leaving me, one by one, and in the end I'll be alone.
I feel numb, when I enter my house. I drop my coat at the door, and don't bother to lock the door behind me. If some intruder wants to enter, let them.
Maybe then they'll kill me and I'll be with Sammie.
I smile at that thought, which scares me. I'm not sure if I'm happy that I'll die or if I'm happy I'll be with Sammie. I shake the thought away, as I slink into bed. Somehow I manage to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my sleep is disturbed by demons and knives.
When I awake, my parents are home. I get out of bed, and as usual, tell them I'm going to a friends' house. They exchange worried glances when I tell them I love them and kiss them on the cheek. I ignore them when they call after me. I sprint as fast as I can until I get to the bridge. The familiar sound of cars down below calms me. I slow down and stare down at the cars. I look up to the sky and watch the sun set. The sky explodes with purple and pink, then it goes dark. Stars sparkle through the clouds. My phone vibrates several times, I know it's my parents so I ignore it. They'll be so worried tomorrow. They'll wonder where I've gone. I pity my parents, they have such a useless daughter. A daughter who couldn't save and protect her best friend, a daughter who couldn't help Enrique with his pain. I pull my legs over the railing of the bridge, my hands curl around the ice-cold railing. I look down sadly at the cars flashing by.
This is it. Sammie, I'll be with you shortly.
As I'm about to push myself off the slender railing and close my eyes to accept my death, I feel arms yank me back over the ledge. I let a shriek escape my lips, as I fall on something soft. I hear someone gasp under me, so I roll over and stare at them.
"Ow..." They sit upright and hold their stomach. Their blond hair falls over their face, covering their features. I stare at them, unsure it they're male or female.
They could be both!
"I-I'm s-s-orry," I mutter, half angry and half relieved. "Or I mean, thank you, I guess?" I comb my hands through my hair and look away.
The figure gets up and walks towards me. They pull their hand back and-
Smack!
I hold my cheek, surprised. Anger swells within me. Did they just slap me?
"How could you think that suicide is the answer to your problems?" she shrieks. I now know it's a girl thanks to her voice, and her features are more clear from up close. She has blue eyelined-eyes, filled with anger. Her blond hair, straightened, sways on her shoulders. Her skin is tan, and her lips are glossy, flashing in the moonlight. She has a black, professional camera around her neck. Her hands are on her hips and she's staring at me expectantly. I look down to observe my shoes.
"Suicide is never the answer! Even if your best friend is dead, you still have things to live for!" She gestures with her hands to make a point. I shrink away from her hating stare.
"H-how did you k-know my friend's..." I pause, not wanting to continue my sentence.
"I go to your school. I heard your speech at the school funeral. My name's Jessica Clarke."