... Rina ...
"We're okay now! Nicole and I."
The only plea I could come up with to solidify my statement was holding Nicole's hand the tightest I could, but Liz didn't seem to notice. She just stared on and on, and I didn't dare turn my eyes away. She needed to know I wasn't backing down.
Maybe Jen said something to her, or to me, but obviously she didn't hear it and neither did I. Then after about two seconds and an infinity of staring, she finally broke the gaze.
"No, I ... ... ... ... ... Rina's ... you know, Jen?" She heaved out a sigh and looked up - not at Jen, who she'd called, but at me - and I held my breath. "Rina's really strong. She's so strong it scares me."
It was at that moment I realized that this had come to mean so much to me - 'this' meaning exactly how my best friend had put it: making this family whole again.
"I just hope she's strong enough."
She added that, her gaze shifting to the girl beside me, but I didn't care. I just needed her to believe in me, and she'd just showed me that she did.
"Is there a boy? Is this what's going on here? Is it about a boy?" Finally I looked at Jen, and obviously she also knew I hadn't really been aware of her presence till now. God, I'd missed her so much. "Come on, I deserve it."
I let out a heartfelt chuckle, and went to hug her. Only after I was in her embrace did I realize I'd slipped my hand out of Nicole's, and that I'd been holding it all this time.
She was staring at me when I looked back over my shoulder. Maybe I should've smiled, but I forgot to. I ended up using my having to pull away from Jen as an excuse to break the gaze.
"I've missed you so much," Jen mused, holding me at arm's length, then cupped my cheeks. "You look so frail, baby. Has it been a long day?"
"I have to get home," Liz blurted out as she made her way out of the kitchen, still without looking at me. "See you, Rina."
"Uh-uh, no, you don't, miss!" Jen grabbed her hand and decided, "you're staying till after dinner."
"I've eaten, but thank you."
"But Kevin haven't yet," I pointed out just as she politely slid her hand out of Jen's hold. "We can't starve a child, right?"
"I can take a parcel back home and feed him--"
"Nonsense! Steve, I'm sorry. Can you help lay the table?"
I in fact didn't even know he was here till Jen asked, but I didn't turn to him. I was waiting for my bestie to stop frowning at the floor and look up. She did look up, though - just not at me.
"I'll help," she offered, but just as Steve nudged his way through us and out of the room, she anounced her change of heart, "on second thought, how about you give him a hand, Nik?"
An involuntary glance went Nicole's way, and we met eyes again. She had an indecisive look on her face but before I could avoid the mistake I'd made last time and muster up a smile, she looked away woodenly. My heart promptly got heavy.
"Now let's get you into something comfortable." Jen said, after thanking the two friends who'd gone out. I nodded but I still had one eye on my best friend who'd gone ahead and takena seat at the table. Obviously, Jen knew my mind. "After you talked to Ellie, of course. ... I'll be in your room."
I smiled and hugged her again before she left. One part of my mind noticed that Steve and Nicole were taking too long to make the trip to the car parked in front and back, but I just walked back into the kitchen.
She was slouching in the chair and apparently was absorbed in a clip of an admittedly super-adorable little fluffy cat tiptoeing along a handrail. But because I knew better, I couldn't keep a knowing smile off my face when I went behind her chair and leaned down to hug her from behind and rested my chin on her shoulder.
Then an idea popped into mind which made me smile and I turned a little to give her a kiss on the cheek. I was sure she'd be smiling - at least inside, and most likely with a frown at that - when I muttered what I'd been meaning to say to her since the moment she'd started avoiding my eyes.
"Thank you for believing in me."
... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ...
... Nicole ...
"The way I saw it," so he did wait until we made two steps out the door before opening his mouth, "they heard our little talk."
"Maybe." I would've wanted to tell him about how Rina avoided eye contact with me back there and what that little gesture could mean, if it didn't mean I'd have to explain everything right from the start. "Maybe not."
"That little talk you obvoiusly schemed up."
"Look, I'm not in the mood for it, okay?"
"Did you go after them? Where have you been all evening? ... Were you with Rina? You weren't at the hospital, Nik. I called Betty but you weren't there."
"Listen," I stopped walking all together, staring him off. "Don't ever mention Betty or the hosptial ever again within a mile of my father, got it?"
To be honest, he did look sorry and guilt-ridden the moment I finished saying that, as he sighed and gave me a nod.
"I did go there," so I decided to give him some slack after a couple seconds. "Maybe you called early."
Instead of opening the door, and take the bags out, he went to sag back agasint the car. I did the same, going to sit on the hood.
"I thought you were done caring about me."
"I pushed Rina into pitying you so if ... when she gets hurt over this, it's on me."
He threw a glance my way but I didn't turn to him. I didn't turn my eyes away from the light that was on in my parents' bedroom. No, my parent's bedroom. And I somehow got to thinking how good it would be to turn back time and make it 2010. Or even better, 2008. That was my best year.
Then again, that year didn't have Rina.
"And however fed up I'm with you screwing up your life, you're still family. I can't just abandon you, now, can I?"
"Whatever makes you breathe easy," I muttered with a little scoff, "though, it felt really free without you mothering me these couple days."
"Whatever, man. So we're gonna talk this all out later? About Rina?"
I took my time before giving him a nod, and he nodded before standing up.
"And you better keep Ash in check. That girl scares me." He warned, opening the car door. "Let's just get the bags and get inside. I'm starving."
I was about to ask him what he'd meant when he'd said Ash mentioned Rina in her messages, but his jolly exclamation stopped me.
"Hey, Kev! What's up, big guy?"
"Where's Lizzie?"
"Inside, waiting for you," he took the first batch of bags out and handed them to me. "Come on, let's get you something to eat. We got jerk chicken, annnnd some delicious rolls. "
"YOU didn't get anything. My sister and Rina got them," he stomped out the car then gave me a bitter once-over. I promptly returned the favor. "What are you looking at?"
And people ask me why I hate kids.
"Here," I threw the two orders of chicken wings I was holding into his arms, and he got caught off guard. "Don't you f*cking throw them away, got it?! Now, in the house. Shoo!"
Of course some crocodile tears started to show but it only had me rolling my eyes.
"Jesus, Nik! Do you have to be such a d*ck?! ... Come on, Kev! Let's get inside."
I ignored Steve's frown and watched him take the bags from Kevin. Then struggling with all the stuff in both arms, he led the kid into the house.
... ... ...
I only found Steve and Elizabeth in the kitchen when I got back inside, and the guy was going hard at his meal as per usual.
"Hey!"
Took me a couple second, but I soon found where that muffled call-out came from. I thought about just giving her an acknowledging nod and going in the kitchen without looking at her again. I didn't, though.
"Can we talk?" she asked, when I reached where she was standing half-hidden near the staircase. "Please, if it's okay for you. Just us."
It didn't matter whether or not I wanted to. We were gonna have to do this at one point. So I gave her a nod. She responded with a smile then turned to walk back in to the back of the house. It surprised me 'cause I'd thought 'Just us' meant my father, herself and me, but my heart started racing a little bit differently as we neared Rina's room.
"It's about Rina."
I nodded for her to go on, stealing another glance at the closed door behind her.
"What do you think of her?"
"Well, she's a nice girl."
"No, I mean, what do you think of her?"
"I don't really want-- ... ... listen, why don't you just get to the point?"
"Do you think of her as my daughter, or a nice girl?"
"Well, I ... ...."
It was just that. I simply did not have an answer. No, I didn't know how to answer, would be more correct.
"I understand. I've noticed that look in your eyes. That guilty vibe you carry around whenever you're with Rina."
Did Rina knew about my feelings for her? From what I'd seen, I could say the odds were pretty strong. But did Jennifer? The more I thought about it, the louder those words of wisdom from Steve rang in my ears - if Jennifer goes back, she won't go back alone.
"You're afraid."
"Listen, I don't think you--"
"You think if you admit that you like Rina, that'd make you look like you're accepting her, thus us, as your family. You have the right to assume that, but that isn't fair for Rina."
"I don't have anything against her, if that's what's you're wondering," I guaranteed, with the most toned-down version of the truth I could come up with.
"I will be completely honest, and it is quite embarrassing. She's even more determined to make this marriage work than Edward and I. I could pretend that I know why, but she's ... ... ... ... I guess you know she's adopted."
"I do."
She nodded slightly, without meeting my eyes as if ashamed. For what, I didn't know, though.
"She's been through a lot, and I think this ... ... her wanting your acceptance is because of something from the part of her past I'm still trying to learn. ... ... I don't know how to make this sound right without giving you the wrong idea."
Before she could say anything, the door behind her opened suddenly, and Kevin's head poked out.
"Jenny, I think she's calling for you."
"Okay, I'll be right in," she nodded then turned back to me after he'd given me a glare and closed the door. "Can you treat her the way she wants you to?"
"What, like a sister?"
"No, no," she denied right after I'd scoffed. "I know I've got too far ahead before you accept me as your ... ... friend, but I--"
"Now I know where Dad learnt how to sweet-talk," I supposedly muttered to myself, but it of course was meant to be heard. She knew that, too - the way she'd stopped talking. Then she came out with a different tone.
"Listen, Nicole. I'm all for trying to fit in and convince you and all that, but I will leave the moment I know for sure this place isn't right for my daughter."
I frowned when she stepped up as if to solidify the point she was gonna make.
"I don't want be finding out that you'd gone and hurt her because you wanted me gone. So, tell me right now if there's even a tiniest chance of that happening. Because if there is, we will leave this moment."
A small earthquake shook my insides up and down, and I looked away.
Dad obviously hadn't married this woman just because she looked good. I did spend a second or two thinking, but it was unnecessary really. No matter how much I wanted her gone, the price she dictated that I had to pay for it wasn't something I could afford.
So I promised her with all my heart.
"No, I won't hurt Rina. You can count on that."
She nodded. I could take the look in her eyes as cheeky and condescending, but I could also be fair and see it for what it was - happiness, and relief that her daughter was safe.
"So can I assume you'd treat her like you would any other girl in your life? Give her the chance to get close to you without shutting her down because of me?"
Another heartfelt promise. Hell, it was a miracle she got just a nod from me instead of 'f*ck yes!' .
"That's ... wonderful. Honestly, I didn't even think you would--"
The door opened again, and this time it wasn't Kevin looking through it.
"Hey, Jen, can you com--"
The girl stopped, shocked at who she found herself staring at. And I couldn't turn away even if I did try to. She'd been apparently interrupted during a shower, and though she was wet all over, ironically what I actually started feeling all over me was hot.
"Umm, ... ... the-uhh light." She finally managed to turn her eyes to Jennifer. "In the bathroom. It started flashing. The light."
Her mom chuckled at her stammering and nodded for her to go back inside, which she did after stealing a glance at me. My hopes started to burn brighter.
"I was saying. Thank you." I gave her a nod, and was about to turn around and leave when she stopped me. "Wait, you wouldn't happen to know how to change a lightbulb, would you?"
... ... ...
"Can we eat now?"
"We will, honey. Just a moment, then we'll all have dinner together."
"But I don't wanna eat with them."
I rolled my eyes as the kid grumbled and sat up on his ass on the bed. I didn't say anything to him or Jennifer, though. Just grabbed the stool which was by the nightstand, and took a second to calm my nerves before going back inside the bathroom.
The light'd been switched off so it was dark, and she was the one holding the flashlight.
"Careful, it's slippery." Her worried voice gave me a smile of satisfaction as I put the armless chair into the shower. "Do you need me to hold it for you?"
"No, I got it."
She didn't say anything but I could make out that she nodded before I climbed up. Taking out the screws and removing the cover was a toil, especially when I had only the light from her flashlight to work with, but being in here alone with her half-naked self took my mind off it.
Well, alone but not undisturbed.
"Can we go eat?" Kevin's voice carried over to us then obviously Jennifer coaxed him back under control.
"Here," I gave Rina the bulb I'd just taken out and took the new one from her. "What's up with that kid, anyways?"
"He's mad at Liz."
"It's kind of annoying." She didn't reply but I didn't think she liked that boy either. I did decide to cut the talk about him, though. "Let's try it."
I heard the switch, and the light came on instantly. So I turned to her to share this moment of victory, and suddenly got to thanking God that I'd gotten off the stool first before taking the first look at her under the light.
She was still wet from head to toe, and wrapped in nothing but a towel. My mouth dried out and I unknowingly breathed out a sigh.
"No, I also hate Rina!"
The kid's sudden cry brought me back to earth, and I realized she'd cast her eyes down, with her cheeks flushed crimson. I cursed inwardly and tried to make up.
"So, it's all good," she looked up and nodded, then gave me the first smile of the evening. I stared at her and wondered how Jennifer could think I would hurt this girl. I shook my head to snap out of my reverie. "You should hurry before you catch a cold."
"No, I hate her!"
Her gaze shifted to the opened door, and I sneaked another at her body.
"Aww, why? Isn't Rina pretty?"
"Yes." The kid's immediate honest answer made me chuckle as I picked up the stool, and I met eyes again with Rina, exchanging smiles. Then those smiles faded. "But her sister loves her."
"What do you mean?"
Both of us had our ears on the conversation a wall away, and I knew she also noticed the time Jennifer's reply took, but that whole time, our gaze never broke.
"Lizzie said Rina's sister loves her. B-but she doesn't love me!"
"Aww, baby, she does. I know she does. Actually, you know what? Come on."
Shaken, Rina broke the gaze, just as her mother appeared at the door.
"Oh, hey, thanks for helping out. If you want, we could have dinner together." It took me a second to process what she'd said and give her a nod. "It's okay if you wanna eat in your room."
"No, no. I-uhh, ... I'll be there. It'd be a shame if I miss my father having takeaway for dinner. I'll just clean up here first."
"That sounds nice," she said with a smile, then turned to her daughter. "I'm gonna go ahead. You take all the time you need, okay?"
Then she smiled, and left. When the sound of the door closing finally came, my heart had began pounding itself to mush. She stood frozen in front of me,and flinched when she saw me step up, and looked up at me.
"I--" she couldn't continue. There was no need, anyways. Those trembling lips. That look of desperatoin in her eyes. "Nicole."
"You know."
She unsurely raised a hand as if to stop me but I took it, held it, never breaking the gaze, feeling like all the paradoxes of my life could be solved by an answer from her - the answer yes.
"You know, right?"
... ... ... ... ... ...
... ... ... ... ... ...
A/N : I've put a link for a pic in the comments. It's Rina on a good day XD.