Jason
I step into the line at Walmart about fifteen minutes before Ashlee gets off. I'm holding the cheesecake that she said she would get earlier. I wasn't going to let her buy it, but I wanted her to think that she was. I just wanted to see if she really would buy it. I lick my lips as I look ahead at her. There's a lot of people in front of me, so I'm sure she doesn't see me.
I begin to think about Kayla and all the things that I did in the bedroom with her. I definitely gave the girl a work out, but now I feel even more like crap. I'm not the type of dude to just fuck with a girl and go about my business. I'm definitely not the kind of guy to try to pursue one girl, while fucking with another. The only other time I did asshole moves such as this one was when I was Melissa's best friend, while being Leslie's boyfriend.
My phone vibrates and I pull it out of my pocket to find that Terrance had sent me a message. I open the message quickly.
Mel said that she needs help getting a car. What should I tell her?
I stare at the text for a few seconds not sure what to text back. A car? What the fuck? I know that she needs help getting a car, because she is having a baby. I just don't know how I'm going to do it without a job. I'm still holding my parents' debit card. They told me that shit was only for groceries and to pay my insurance. I need to get a fucking job.
Tell her I'll send her my work card. I know that should have close to a couple grand on there.
I send the message to Terrance. I had gotten my card back from Mel, after I took her back home. I guess I'm going to have to give it back to her.
R U FUCKING SERIOUS???
Terrance text comes back quick as hell. I already know that he feels as though I shouldn't help her get a car. The simple fact is that it might be my baby, and I don't need her worrying how to get from A to Z.
What? R u goin to make sure she gets to where she needs to go? She needs a fucking car. It's my money and I'm going to help her the best way that I can.
I send him my reply as I move up in the line. I put my phone away, not wanting to argue with Terrance via text. I know I sound silly as hell. I don't know how she has me like this. She asks for something, and I'm going to try my hardest to make it happen.
I look up at Ashlee, and she is noticing me for the first time. I can see her eyes light up a little at the sight of me in her line. She moves a little faster to get the customers out the line. My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I reach in my pocket. I'm hoping that Terrance isn't trying to talk me out of what I want to do. I glance at the message.
Alright. I will let her know. I'm just saying if u gon be spendin money all willy nilly u might as well take her ass back. U crazy as fuck if you really believe that she just text me to get a car. She wants ur ass. . . STUPID.
I don't respond and put my phone away. I'm the next person in line. Ashlee smiles at me as she grabs the cheesecake. She raises an eyebrow at me.
"I got here a little early and decided to stop in and see you work a little. Maybe grab this cheesecake."
"Boy, I'm going to kill you. I already bought the cheesecake. I bought it on my last break and put it in the fridge in the break room."
She passed my little test with just saying those few words.
"I'm sorry." I apologize, not breaking eye contact with her.
She pushes the cheesecake out the way. "It's fine. I told you that I will get it. I meant it. Now go wait in the car for me, baby."
Damn . . . I can just attack her over the counter, and I definitely notice that she called me baby. She probably didn't think I caught it.
"Alright, sexy. I'm about to pull up front for you."
"Okay."
I walk away from her and head to the exit. I pull my phone out my pocket and dial Mel's number. I want to get to the bottom of what Terrance texted me. I know that I told her no communication, but he did make some points. Secretly, I do want to hear her voice. I have never went long periods of time without talking to her, or seeing her. I kind of want to see how she is doing.
I end the call, before the phone can ring. I sigh deeply and shake my head. I want to talk to her, but I know that it's a bad idea. All these feelings will come up and she will be back here with me. I'll just send her the card at her momma's house.
I make my way to my car to pull the car to the entrance for Ashlee. I so badly want to hear Melissa's voice. I get inside the car and just sit there, staring at my steering wheel for a few moments. I pull my phone out to look at her pictures as my screen saver.
"Fuck!" I scream in aggravation. I toss my phone into the back seat. I really want to get over her, but every part of me wants her in my life. I want her here with me. "I miss you, baby." I put my forehead against the steering wheel with my eyes closed, thinking about her. I think about her laying in my arms. She used to always lay with her leg over me and arms around me. I smile a little, thinking about her soft lips on my chest.
A knock on the window interrupts my thoughts. I look up to find Ashlee is standing outside the car. I take a deep breath and try to pull myself together. Mel has me completely out my element and she's not even here.
I get out the car and walk slowly up to Ashlee with a smile on my face. "I'm sorry, baby." I say to her as I open the door for her.
She just smiles at me. She's about to get in the car, when I put my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me. She just looks into my eyes. I want to kiss her so badly.
"Can I kiss you?" I put my forehead against hers, staring into her eyes. "I mean, I've been holding back, because I'm not trying to scare you, but I really want to taste your lip gloss."
She licks her lips, nervously not breaking eye contact with me.
"Can I eat dessert off you?" I know that I'm pushing it too far, but I need to know what she's willing to let me get away with. "We don't have to do anything else. I just want to taste both of your lips."
She bites her bottom lip, and I can tell that she's thinking about letting me put my face between her thighs.
"I . . . I . . . Never had anyone . . . Um . . . do that before." She says shyly, blushing like crazy.
How the hell did she have a boyfriend and he never put his face between her thighs? I bring my lips to her ear. "Can I be the first?"
She swallows hard and turn her face to mine. She turns away from me, before I can kiss her lips. She is turning me on without trying. I will suck the fuck out of her clit. She turns back to me and nods a little. I put my finger underneath her chin and debate rather or not to kiss her. I decide to wait for later.
"Thanks for the cheesecake, babe."
"I told you that I'll get it." She says in a low voice.
I take the bag from her hand and hold the door open more for her. She gets inside the car. I hurry to my side. I close my car door and let the windows down. I pull out the parking lot and look at her. She is staring down at the cheesecake on her lap. I can tell that she is deciding rather or not to go through with it with me. I lean back in my seat and take her hand into mine. I give her hand a light squeeze. This is something I used to do with Mel, when I knew she was scared or nervous about something. It's like a reminder that I'm right here.
"You work tomorrow?" I ask her.
"Yeah. I don't start, until three. I work from three to eleven."
"I'll take you in tomorrow and pick you up. When is your next off day?"
"Not until Saturday. Why?" She turns to me with a questioning look on her face.
"I just want to take you out, babe."
She nods her head without saying anything. I relax in my seat, holding her hand with one hand and my other hand on the steering wheel. I'm hoping that when I fuck her with my tongue, that she will loosen up a little. She probably think I'm the typical, when I'm not.
*****
Ashlee lets out a loud laughter at the joke that I just made. I can't stop looking at her pretty smile. I'm sitting on top of the counter, watching her make breakfast for us. We had just gotten up an hour ago. She had spent the night at my house last night. We didn't do everything that I wanted to do last night, but I did put my face between her thighs. I put that ass right to bed.
"Baby, you like cheesy eggs?" She looks over her shoulder at me.
"Yeah."
She smiles at my response and goes back to cooking. I jump off the counter and walk towards her. I put my arms around her waist and kiss her neck. She giggles a little and tries to shrug me off.
"Stop that. I'm cooking."
"I can't help it. I mean, you're standing in my kitchen half naked, cooking breakfast. This is one of my fantasies."
She turns around to look at me and then turn back to the stove, shaking her head. "After breakfast, I have to go home. I have to show my face, so my momma doesn't worry much about me."
"Okay. I told you to call her last night and tell her you were across the hall."
"I know, but I didn't want her to know that I'm talking to the boy across the hall." Her eyes get wide. "She will lose her mind."
My phone vibrates across the counter, and I walk over to it and pick it up. When I see the name on the screen, my mouth drops opened.
"Hey, baby, Ima take this call in the room. Let me know, when breakfast is ready."
"Okay." She watches me as I walk out the kitchen.
I walk as fast as I could to my bedroom and take the call, before it has a chance to go voicemail.
"What's up?"
"Hey, Jay baby! How 'Lanta treating you?"
I close my bedroom door, so that Ashlee can't hear my conversation.
"Man . . ." I want to curse her out, but I miss her so much. Then, I feel like I owe it to my boy to get some answers for him. "Why you went M.I.A?"
"I took a vacation from the damn drama. Your wife tried to fuck my life up. You forgot that?" Kerri says.
"And your relationship."
"My relationship." She mutters. "We're not discussing that. It's over."
I sit on the edge of the bed. "Why you had to do that though, Kerri? You know that dude was excited that you were having a baby. Then, you lie about everything. That's crazy."
"I just said that I'm not talking about this with you. It's over. There's a reason why I haven't called him. I don't want to talk about it."
"He's hurt." I try one final time to get my point across.
I know that Terrance had cheated on her and mistreated her more times than I could keep count. With all the times that Terrance had hurt Kerri, I know that he's in love with her. He had told me many times that he can only see a future with her. And I know how tore up he is over her getting an abortion. She doesn't know, because all he did was yell at her. He didn't show any feelings.
"I didn't get pregnant on purpose. I'm squashing that rumor right now with you. My pregnancy was an accident. It wasn't planned. When I got pregnant, I decided to use it to my advantage. I had never planned on keeping the baby. I'm leaving for school in a couple months. You and I both know that Terrance is a fuck up. He isn't ready to be anyone's father."
"You should have told him that. You should have sat and talk to him about how you felt. Instead, you got an abortion and planned on lying to him about it. What is wrong with you?"
Kerri sighs. "Look, I'm wrong. I know this, but I can't change that."
"Baby, breakfast is ready." Ashlee knocks on the door lightly and sticks her head inside my room. "Want me to make you a plate?"
"Yes, babe." I wink at her and she just smiles at me.
"I'll make your plate and then come right back." She closes my room door to give me a little privacy.
"That's Mel?" Kerri asks. "Put her on the phone. I miss her snitching ass." She lets out a laugh. "I can't believe she snitched on me like that. I'm not going to lie . . . I was pissed over that for a little bit of time."
"Yeah. I know. Cameron showed up at my house." Now I'm reminded why I should be upset with her. Kerri knew that Melissa was cheating on me the whole time and didn't bother to tell me anything.
There's complete silence on Kerri's end.
"Why the fuck you didn't tell me? I knew she wasn't as happy as she used to be, but why didn't you tell me how serious the shit was? All this shit could have been avoided if someone would have shared with me that my wife was fucking dude on the side."
"She wasn't banging him like that. Look, I don't know what you think happened, but she only slept with him one time. She was trying to get the morning after pill, but she couldn't. Then, she decided to keep the baby, because it might be yours."
"I'm not trying to hear all that, because you knew, Kerri. You knew all these things and didn't bother to give me a heads up."
Kerri sighs. "Mel loves you, boo. I think she just didn't know how to handle everything you were putting her through. She was trying her damnest to handle it, but she didn't know how. Truthfully, after she messed with Cameron, she tone down on seeing him. She was trying to make her marriage work with you. She was trying to put an end to all this drama between her and Cameron."
"So, what is it between them?" I ask, looking down. I don't know why I care so much, because I'm trying to move on. I'm just trying to figure out if it's easy for her to move on. I just want to know if she is having as hard of a time that I'm having.
"What do you mean? Isn't Mel there with you?"
"No." I don't feel like talking about the details of everything that happened.
"What?" Kerris screams through the phone. "What?" She asks in a calmer voice. "Wait . . . Who was that girl's voice that I just heard? Where is Mel?"
"We're getting a divorce. The girl you heard was my neighbor."
"What? You just called her babe, Jason! Oh my goodness . . . "
I can hear it in her voice that she is clearly upset about this. Her reaction is different from Terrance.
"Are you serious? Where is Mel?"
"She's home. Look, we agreed to get a divorce. If it's my baby, I will be there. I just can't forgive her for all the secrets and lies - - -"
"You cheated on her too!" Kerri yells at me. "Walk me through this shit, because I'm having a hard ass time understanding this. You cheat on her and she forgives you instantly, but you find out that she cheated on you, and you're ready to sign papers? Neither of you are innocent in this mess that you both created. Both!" She emphasizes the word both. "Oh, you're a dumbass. Maybe you don't deserve Mel."
"What?" Now it's my turn to get upset. "You weren't there. The dude she fucked showed up at my house, starting shit early in the damn morning. You don't know how that shit feels to find out that your wife is having a baby with someone else."
"Might! Regardless of who child she is carrying, you know that you might be the baby's father. You're cruel ass fuck, Jason. You left her here, but be there for Leslie?"
"Leslie is carrying my child! You damn right that I'm going to be there for her." I stand up and begin pacing around my room. Kerri has me all heated up over this.
"Boy . . . You're so lucky that you're in Atlanta. I can smack the taste buds out your mouth right now."
I roll my eyes at her threat. Kerri has always been team Melissa. "Whatever."
"You're that dense, Jason? So, you're ready to walk away from your wife, because of her fuck up? It's okay if there's a little fuck up as long as it's not her doing it, right?"
I so want to end the call with Kerri and try again another day, but I know that we will just end up talking about this all over again.
"What you want me to say, Ker?"
"I want you to stop being so fucking stubborn and get your wife. You messed up too. In fact, your fuck up is what started a domino effect. She was good to you all the way up, until Leslie got pregnant."
I shake my head at her words. I feel the way that I feel for a reason.
"You know what it is?" She continues. "Your pride is hurt. That's what this whole thing is about. It's okay if you take her back, Jas. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. We know you don't take bullshit. Say you don't take bullshit." She giggles a little.
I don't think anything funny, but she did hit it on the head. My pride is hurt by the whole situation. I don't know if I care what people think about me, but one thing I do know is that my pride is damaged.
"You miss her?" She goes back to being serious.
I nod my head even though she can't see me. I run my hand over my face. I can't even put into words how much I miss this girl. "I do."
"Jason, you know I love you. Baby, I wouldn't steer you or her in the wrong direction. When I called Cameron, it wasn't to break you guys up. I was so upset that she just told my secret and . . . Anyway, if I had known that this will be the caused, I would have just not told him."
"Then, I wouldn't know. She could be carrying his child."
"She could be carrying yours."
Tears come to my eyes, and I nod a little. "I know." And this is the part that makes it hard for me to walk away from her. The fact that we plan this baby together, and I just left her in Chicago. That's the reason that I sent out the card this morning to her momma's house. "I know."
"Are you okay?" I swear it feels like Kerri can see my tears through the phone.
I shake my head. Yeah, Ashlee takes my mind off Mel, but I'm so far from being okay. I want and need Mel here with me.
"Talk to me."
"I don't know how to forgive her. I just feel like if I bring her to Atlanta with me, I'm going to want some type of payback. Like, the shit I was doing with Diamond. I'm going to be suspicious that she's talking to Cameron." I shake my head again. "I just don't think we're the same."
"I understand what you're saying, but she is your wife. You guys have only been married for a few months. You guys have been friends forever. Are you willing to walk away? The baby can be yours. Imagine how you're going to feel, if this baby is yours and you walked away from her."
I shrug my shoulders. "What you want me to do, Kerri?" I ask her again.
"I want you to tuck your pride away and acknowledge the problems between you and her. I want you to take your responsibility and for you to let her own hers. Then, I want you guys to try together. Forget everyone else. Start over. This poor girl probably been a mess without you."
"Can you check on her for me?" I've been wondering how she's been. I've tried to call her more than a few times, but I never let the call go through.
"Yes. You know I will."
"I got to go." Kerri has emotionally drained me. I don't want to be on the phone anymore.
"Jas, please don't be emotionally dependent on your neighbor. I know you, boo. She isn't going to help you get through your feelings with Melissa. In fact, you're going to end up hurting her, because you're in love with Mel."
I know that she's right, but I don't tell her that. "I miss you, Kerri." This girl knows me well. "Can you come to Atlanta so that I can have your help getting through this?"
"No, because I'm going to send your wife there in a few days, or so. And you're going to welcome her with opened arms."
I smile at her words. "Okay."
"What the hell am I going to do with you two? I take a little R&R for myself and you guys are talking about getting a divorce. You got your neighbor over there, acting like she's the new girl. Bitch, move out the way . . . He is married."
I laugh at her. "I love you. Do me a favor?"
"No." She says instantly.
"Why not?" I'm sure she knows what the favor is, because she knows me.
"I'm not ready to face him." She gets quiet. "I think I took it too far."
"He misses you. He's trying to understand why you're not calling him."
"I can't face him." She says again. "But for you, I will think about it. Let me get off this phone, before you ask me for something else outrageous. I love you, big head. Big stubborn ass baby." She laughs, before ending the call.
I take a deep breath and set my phone down. Secretly, I'm so happy that Kerri is back in my life. Mel and Ker keep my life on track most of the times. I felt lost without either of them. After my conversation with Kerri, I feel even more like shit that I had sex with Kayla and gave head to Ashlee. Now I have to explain to my wife the mistakes that I made, when she comes back home to me.