As soon as Nate put me down and led me to the room that determined my fate, he placed his forehead against mine. He encircled his arms around me and I breathed in his scent. The scent that always made me happy when I was near him.
"I-I had no idea you had thought about killing yourself," He whispered. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I brushed them away.
"I'm sorry, I-I was to terrified to tell you, I thought you were going to give me medication or something," I said. I heard about people using them. Sometime it helped, sometimes it didn't. Sometimes people would overdose.
"You could have told me anyway! I would've helped you!," He yelled. I wrapped my arms around myself.
"I didn't want you to find out how much I hated how we were living, I didn't want you to find out how depressed I get," I said. His eyes softened and he spoke.
"We're always in this together, do you understand, always," He said and I nodded my head. Suddenly his eyes became serious.
"Listen to me, you're gonna be okay, do you hear me? You're gonna be okay," He said kissing my forehead. I leaned my head back from him. Tears brimmed my eyes.
"But what if I'm not going to be okay? What if they decide to kill me? You're going to be alone," I said pressing my forehead against his chest.
"I'm not gonna let them kill you, do you remember what I said? That I'll kill them myself if I have to," He said and I looked up at him. He was looking down at me with seriousness in his eyes. I shuddered when he looked at me like that.
"Y-You wouldn't actually do that, right? You know how the government hates rebellion, they'll kill you once they see you rebel," I said. He shook his head at me and stepped away from me. He crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling.
"I don't care, Ana, all I care about is protecting you," He said. I took a step towards him and placed my hands on his shoulders.
"That's the thing Nate, you're always protecting me, let me protect you for once in my life! Let them take me so you can be safe! Please Nate! You don't have to be my keeper anymore! I'm begging you!," I exclaimed shaking his shoulders. He stared down at me and tears brimmed his eyes. My eyes widen and I placed my hands on his face. He leaned down and pressed his forehead on my shoulder.
"That's the thing, Anastasia, I made a promise. I made a promise to mom and myself that I'm going to protect you no matter how old you get, I'll always be your keeper and nothing will ever change that," He said. I stood there, frozen in my tracks. His words. The words that I used to describe him. Keeper. He's my keeper. I slowly wrapped my arms around him and squeezed. He did the same, he buried his nose deep inside my neck.
I felt the tears on my neck and that made me cry also. He was the strong one, I was the weak one. That was how it was suppose to be between us. Now it's the opposite, I'd never thought this day would come. But at the same time, I did.
"I have to go, I was suppose to leave quickly and I never did," He said and he let go of the hug. I almost wanted to bring him back to the hug. Almost. He kissed my forehead.
"I'll see you soon," He said and I nodded. He walked towards the door and closed it. He left me alone here with my thoughts. My worthless thoughts.