| W H Y |
Harry had stared at that word for minutes, eyes wide, body tense. He blinked and then moved his body to the door, telling himself he needed to get out. He needed to do something before he went down the wrong turn again.
He was starting to remember, little flashes here and there as he stumbled down the unfamiliar hallway. But that word was engraved into his mind.
Niall did this. And truly, he deserved it.
He got to the door at the end of the hallway, putting his full weight on it and almost falling right on his face when it flew opened.
A man yelled at him, but he barely heard, everything was background noise against his thoughts.
He was in BlackPool still, he had to be. Niall wouldn't have dragged him anywhere else.
He picked a turn to go to and walked, maybe he'll end up in another city, maybe he'll be walking into London that's many, many hours away from here. But he wouldn't care, he needed time to think anyways.
He said he deserved it, but he kept on trying to make excuses, trying to save his own ass for doing what he did.
"I was wasted, he took advantage of me."
"But I was wasted and totally needing Niall, I didn't even drunk-struggle. I let it happen."
He bickered with himself in his mind for what felt like hours. Until he saw the hotel room, Zayn, Louis and Liam were all on the balcony, stress-smoking.
Suddenly, Liam had looked down, locking eyes with him. Harry saw the man smack at Zayn and Louis' shoulders, both looking down, following Liam's finger that was pointing at Harry.
They all had gasped and disappeared into the hotel, probably to get to him.
He needed to tell them, tell the truth. If he ends up like Niall, so what, he deserved it.
Zayn reappeared first, smashing opened the door to the hotel and rushing down the sidewalk, Harry groaned when Zayn smashed into him, giving him a tight hug.
Louis and Liam had come in too, throwing their arms over Harry, all three struggling since Harry was the tallest.
He felt Louis' cold palms cup his cheeks, his head being pulled down to stare right into his oldest boyfriends worried blue eyes.
"Where were you? You just left all of a sudden last night! Fuck, we went looking for you, everywhere." Louis' wide eyes frantically searched his. But Harry didn't want to show emotion, he didn't deserve it.
"Harry! Listen to me, hey! Are you alright?" Louis was shaking his head in his hands, Harry was still looking at him, but had no motivation to answer.
Liam and Zayn gave each other a glance, both taking one arm of Harry's and guiding their boyfriend into the hotel, almost dragging him up the steps. Louis hung behind, tears welling up in his eyes seeing his youngest boyfriend look so disoriented.
-x-
Zayn opened the door to the hotel, about to pull Harry in when there was resistance. A sign Harry was still with them, but not a good sign as to why he was fighting them.
Liam tried to tug Harry in, whispering to the youngest that he was going to be okay, but Harry stood right outside the doorway, feet glued to the floor. Louis was stuck behind him, completely confused.
"Ha-"
"I cheated on you, all of you." Harry spoke very clearly, but he sounded so devastated and destroyed.
The three boys froze, all more confused then ever, looking over their boyfriend like he had just stuck a gun up to their faces.
"Harry, wha-"
"I cheated on you, with Niall. I was drunk and needy and Niall was just randomly there trying to help me and I just, I needed him, I hadn't felt him, touched him, kissed him in so long he was like a drug addiction. I ruined everything for us, I'm a failure." Tears were furiously falling down his face, dripping down onto his shirt.
He turned to leave, but saw Louis had blocked his way, just staring up at him with glassy eyes .
"Harry you didn't mean it, you didn't want to hurt us." Louis said softly, Harry barley heard him.
Louis shifted his gaze to the floor, sniffling and letting out a sob before he looked back up at Harry.
"If any of us got the chance, we would've done it."
Liam and Zayn both nodded, tears were also streaming down their faces. Everyone was a mess.
"He wrote cheater on the mirror, then booked it out of there before I could wake up." Harry slowly walked into the room, sitting himself down on one of the beds.
The three boys looked shocked, and slightly angry at their blond ex-boyfriends actions. But they couldn't help but flash back to the night they called Niall all those nasty things, a cheater being one of the many.
Harry had suddenly punched the mattress, letting out a roar, gritting his teeth in rage.
"Why are you forgiving me? Why are you letting me into your God damn lives again? Why did we leave Niall? Why did we do this to him?!" Harry screamed at the three boys.
Louis whimpered and looked away to wipe a tear from his eye.
-x-x-x-
Niall's felt numb many times, too many to count on his fingers and toes combined.
But this numbness that he felt right now, as he sat limp in the passenger seat of Nick's car. Was beyond what he's ever felt.
It was probably because all the weight that was on his shoulders, has finally fallen. Taken over his body, leaving him to be some anchor at the bottom of the ocean.
They parked across from the hotel, and Niall saw Liam, Louis and Zayn engulf Harry in a big hug, Louis holding his face into his hands.
Forgiven. He was forgiven. Of course.
He was too numb to cry, so he just stared up at the sky, wishing some angel would come down and bring him up there, take him away from this god awful world that hated him in it.
"Extra hours tonight, work till blood is dripping out of your ass you got that? Hey!"
Niall didn't flinch, just let Nick roughly grab his chin and turn him to look at him.
Nicks eyes were blazing as they locked gazes.
"You got that?" He hissed.
Niall nodded.
Niall had another good look of the boys dragging Harry carefully up the steps.
"Get out of the car and get upstairs."
Niall obeyed, getting out and limping to the stairs, having the hardest time ever to get up them. He didn't cringe though, not even when Nick roughly slapped his ass to get him going faster.
-x-
Niall opened the door that was never locked. Seeing the familiar messy room that smelt like weed and alcohol. Trashed beyond help, barf stains still on the carpet from the times Niall or Nick didn't make it to the washroom.
He felt a very firm hand on his shoulder, squeezing so harshly it would definitely leave a bruise.
"Clean yourself up, you look more disgusting than usual. And I don't get paid when I have an ugly prostitute." Niall just limped to the washroom, letting Nick's words go in one ear and out the other.
"And good luck getting drinks and drugs now sweetie, cause I'm not giving you shit!" The sound of bottles clanking together was heard as Niall closed the bathroom door. Nick was probably hiding the alcohol that Niall will probably find.
So he was now going to be bruised and disgusting, and sober? He was an addict for god sakes, he would be a reck, headaches everyday, the feeling of death on his chest. He wouldn't be able to make it, and the drugs, they were like a lifeline to him.
He'll just need to steal from Nick, and if that doesn't work, he'll just have to rob a gas stop.
He was spiralling out of control. But he was going to hell anyways, might as well stay on the path.
~~~~~~~~~
A.N:
I haven't updated in a while because I got very little comments last time and that kind of brought my motivation down to a zero. So I thought I would wait a bit to see if I got more encouraging comments, but no.
So, please comment on this one? Maybe the next chapter will be faster in updates and better then this shitty one.
Tell me what you think please and thank you.
(p.s: sorry the chapter was so short, like I said, motivation wasn't that big in this chapter)
~ Direction_Minx ~