"Pardon My Sanity In A World Insane" ― Emily Dickinson
Though culinary prowess wasn't Edward forte, everything changed when Porsche came into his life. Whenever Porsche smiled and enjoyed his cooking, it warmed his heart. That smile and his instinctual urge to care for him always unfailingly lured him to the kitchen.Tonight, he had prepared Porsche's favorites: pizza and chicken. Instead of their customary drinks, he concocted a special mocktail considering his grandson's impending parenthood—no alcohol and less sugar.
The distance between them weighed heavily on his mind as he awaited Porsche's arrival. No matter what had transpired between them, Porsche is always his cherished grandson. He want to mend their fractured bond and rediscover the closeness they once shared. And at this stage of his pregnancy, he doesn't want to cause any stress or strain their relationship. He missed the way things used to be between them, when everything was good and easy.
Popping two pills into his hand, he swallowed them with a gulp of water. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror before heading out of his bedroom. In the nick of time, his grandson arrives wearing a black pant and a yellow oversized fuzzy sweater. His grandson's face was radiant, and he looked even more adorable with his slightly chubby cheeks.
"You look great," Edward complimented.
"Hello grandpa," Porsche greeted. "It's been while," glancing around the familiar house, he was reminded of all the cherished memories that were made within its walls.
"Go wash up, food is ready," Edward said after an awkward moment of silence, masking his emotions as best as he could.
Porsche slipped off his coat, draping it over the arm of the plush couch before making his way toward the bathroom. But as he stepped through the familiar opulent hallway of the home he grew up, his gaze was drawn to a large framed picture hanging proudly on the wall—a snapshot frozen in time, capturing him as a young boy, his grin wide and infectious. His steps faltered, and he found himself rooted to the spot, his eyes locked on the image of his younger self. Memories flooded back, a rush of nostalgia washing over him like a gentle tide. He remembered the carefree days of his childhood, spent running through fields and laughing under the summer sun. Well, those days was a very hard earned one, it took a lot of scarifies and work for him to feel alive. Even amidst the emptiness he felt, his grandfather, father, and mother remained the steadfast light in his life, always managing to draw a smile from him. Even if it meant concealing the shadows that loomed over him. For a moment, Porsche lingered there, lost in reflection, before tearing himself away from the photograph and make his way to his destination.
When Porsche returned, the enticing scent of a mouthwatering pizza filled the room, causing his stomach to rumble. As he entered the living room, he was greeted by a warm, soft glow that bathed the entire space. The TV screen reflected a gleaming light, while a crackling fire blazed in the grand fireplace, casting a mesmerizing dance of flickering flames. Two white, fluffy blankets were spread across the couch. His gaze shifted towards the floor-to-ceiling glass windows, where he could see the rain-soaked landscape outside. Sheets of water cascaded down, painting intricate patterns against the glass, while distant thunder rumbled like a low, comforting growl.
For the next hour and a half, they quietly watched a movie as they enjoy their meal. His grandfather's brick oven pizza was his all-time favorite, with a close second being a quaint pizzeria he and Francis used to visited in Italy.
The silence between them spoke volumes. It was a far cry from their usual lively movie nights. "Do you remember the time I missed our movie night?" Edward finally broke the silence. "It was the week you comeback for spring break from college. You were so upset with me. You told me you will not talk to me for a week," He smiled as he recalled. He was in Paris, getting ready for his spring/summer fashion collection show. He was supposed to come back home a day earlier, but work got in the way and he had to stay an extra day.
Porsche nodded silently, his eyes reflecting a mixture of sadness and nostalgia. "My tantrum only lasted a day," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.
Edward chuckled softly, but there was a heaviness in his heart that refused to dissipate. "Exactly! The longest you've gone without talking to me is just one day. We don't fight, that's not us, Porsche," he said, his voice tinged with sadness. The words hung heavy in the air, the weight of their strained relationship suffocating them both. Edward could see the pain etched in Porsche's eyes, same as his.
"And now we're in a place I never imagined we'd be. You don't trust me. You've become so distant, and your tone is colder than anything I've ever known," Edward continued, a melancholic undertone coloring his words."All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. There is no part of me that wanted anything different, and I think you know that deep down,"
Porsche didn't say a word, just stared at the fireplace.
"That idea you have about me being against Kinn is all in your head. One day, you'll understand where I'm coming from. How hard it... How heart-wrenching is to see the person you love the most crumble and slowly fade away. Knowing what you been through and still standing by your choice is no easy feat, son," Edward's voice quivered with emotion as he reached for Porsche's hand. "Ever since you entered my life, you have become my everything - my greatest purpose and the person I want to keep safe and make happy. Sunshine, all I want is to see you happy. That is my truth,"
Porsche's demeanor softens slightly, but he remains guarded.
"If my words were harsh or... well, I know I hurt you, but I never meant to. Still, I want to apologize. I'm so so sorry," Edward apologized. "I'm sorry about last time too. I was out of line,"
They sit in silence for a moment, the crackling of the fire filling the room with warmth and comfort.
"It's your marriage, and I shouldn't say anything about it. I'm sorry for telling Kinn to let it go. It was a thoughtless response, and I understand now how it could have been hurtful. I'm sorry,"Edward turned towards him, his hands still clasping Porsche's. And with great sincerity, he said, "But let me tell you one thing. Please understand that what I'm about to say comes from a place of love, so please don't take it the wrong way,"
This time around, Porsche meets his gaze.
"You need to set yourself free. Whether it's the truth or moving on. What's in the past is in the past. And more importantly, they are gone, son. And they were bad people so quit punishing yourself by trying to compensate for the irreparable, it will only bring more pain," Edward's voice was gentle but firm, his eyes pleading with Porsche to let go of the guilt that weighed him down. "Guilt is a deep valley with no way out, and it will only drag you down further if you let it." Worry filled his eyes, creating a deep furrow on his forehead. It was heartbreaking to see the insecurity that had engulfed his once vibrant grandson, swallowing his joy.
Emotions swirl within Porsche. Squirming in his seat, his gaze shifts to the crackling fireplace.
"Kinn is with you because he want to be with you. Son...... no child, sex, or money can hold a man if his heart isn't truly there. Believe me when I say he's by your side because he wants to be. Stop diminishing yourself. That's not who you are, my sunshine," He wanted to add, 'Don't lie to him,' but he kept it to himself. He knew their marriage wasn't strong enough to withstand another wave, which also made him worried
Porsche looks up, meeting his grandfather's gaze. His eyes shimmer with unshed tears, revealing cracks in his once impenetrable guard.
"And he doesn't need that version of you either," Edward words resonated, striking a chord. "Unlike Kinn's father, who micromanaged everything, you had the freedom to excel on your own terms. Your father allowed you to carve your own path, not his," he reasoned. "I trust Kinn's potential, but together, you both will achieve greater heights. You don't need to hide for him to shine. He'll need you now more than ever. It's your shared journey, not a solitary spirit so don't hide,"
Porsche's gaze wavers uncertainly, but he eventually gives a slow nod, fully aware of the vast differences between his own beliefs and his grandfather's. Porsche endured heartbreak, betrayal, anger, letdowns, failure, and all the chaos life can bring, experiences his grandfather can't fully understand.
"I've been asked so many times why I stayed. Why I didn't just walk away. I had a long list of reasons for holding on, for staying married to him when he first left me," Porsche began, slowly pulling his hands away from Edward's grasp. "Reasons that I almost convinced myself were enough. But the truth is, I love him. I love him beyond measure, beyond words. He is my everything," his eyes brimming with a myriad of emotions that flickered like a candle flame.
Edward knows how much Porsche love Kinn: the dangerous kind of love—a love that treaded a fine line between ecstasy and peril, like a ship navigating treacherous waters.
"I don't want to be the one who gets dumped for an ex right after I got married: I don't want to embarrass my family because I foolishly let love blind me: I don't want to make my grandfather sad: I don't want to be a failure," Porsche added. "That was the reason I made myself believe, but deep down, I knew. I knew I couldn't exist without him. Then I let myself breath in my anger and shame. And as much as it was unbearable, I bite my tongue and let everything be. Sold my pride to hide my fear, " Porsche said. It was as if the silence that followed was so profound that it suffused every inch of the room. "Maybe I was desperate, I don't know. Desperate to be wanted and loved. To be enough with all the flaws I have. To prove that evil women that I, Porsche Kittisawat can be loved and cherished. To show her that she was wrong, and I'm enough. Enough to be loved. Who knows maybe that might be the real reason," Porsche's breath escaped his lips in a tired exhale.
"But that pain and hurt was all because of his greedy, manipulative, and selfish family. They took my life away. Our life!" Porsche blinked back tears, struggling to find his voice. "I love him more than they ever loved him. No... no, they never loved him. I love him. I will give him everything they never did. Family, happiness, loyalty, the whole damn world. Me. I will. What they couldn't, never did, I will give him."Porsche's anger starts to waver, replaced by raw vulnerability as tears fell.
Edward reaches out, his fingers extending in a tentative gesture of comfort. Porsche flinches at the touch, but then leans into it, his shoulders shaking with suppressed sobs.
"Oh, my baby. You are enough and perfect," Edward draw him into a hug. "You are my perfect baby," a lone tear fell over Edward cheeks as Porsche sobs.He held him tightly, feeling the tremors of Porsche's sobs gradually subside. He loose his embrace, and wiped his Tears away. Edward can feel a hidden wellspring deep inside him. It was heartbreaking to him because his baby boy carried so much in his heart, keeping it all to himself, and he feared it would consume him.
"Kinn left twice. I just know that if he really leaves again, he won't ever come back. I'm protecting what is mine. I'm just happy right now with him. We are happy. I will make him happy.... even without them. Can't I just be happy? Without looking over my shoulder?"
The vulnerability in Porsche was perhaps what Edward had underestimated. Maybe, just maybe, that was why Porsche tried to hide from Kinn. In some way, Edward understands now. In a Avery heartbreaking way,
"How I love him may not make sense to you or anyone," Porsche continued after a moment of silence. "Nor do I expect you to understand. I will give him everything there is, not because I want to be in his shadow, but because that's how far my love reaches for him. I will cherish him through every storm and every trial, until the end of time. I will do anything. Anything to protect whats mine. So please...Just be happy for us. That's all I ask. I don't want to lose you, grandpa. So just let us be happy,"
"Porsche," Edward's voice broke. Edward knows exactly what he is asking for. What his silent pleas conveyed – let it go. And that breaks his heart more than anything.
"I don't feel guilty for one second for...for....removing the poison from his life. His family never deserved him. They took his smile, his happiness, and made him live with regret and guilt," Porsche said, somberly. "So no, there is no guilt in me. I protect what's MINE" he asserted firmly, turning his gaze to his grandfather. Edward met his eyes with the saddest expression Porsche had ever witnessed. "Unlike them, I'm everything Kinn ever wanted. I'll do everything I can to make sure that feeling stays the same," The anger in Porsche's eyes gave way to a chilling emptiness. It lasted for a split second, but Edward caught it.
Edward knew all too well what Porsche was referring to and wondered how much truth his words held. He can see it clearly how Porsche is sinking in regret, and it was more obvious to him now than ever. Porsche rarely talked about his birth mother. In fact, he never spoke of her except during his therapy in Germany and Singapore when he was a child. He distinctly remembered Porsche telling him that he never once felt any remorse for how his birth mother died, which made sense considering the trauma he went through, which is why he never showed any emotion to anyone who wronged him. Perhaps that's why Porsche had a hard time understanding Kinn, why there was a part of him that felt sadness to see his entire family gone. Porsche couldn't relate to him in that aspect. The guilty feeling he has now is more reflective of his fear of losing Kinn, rather than what transpired.
"I trust you," Edward whispered, wiping Porsche's tears away. "I do, and I love you. So please stay happy, strong, cheerful, like I know the man I raised you to be," He leaned in and kissed his forehead. "I love you, sunshine,"
***
As Porsche sat in the backseat of his car, the familiar streets passing by in a blur, he couldn't shake the heaviness in his heart. The evening with his grandfather had stirred up a whirlwind of emotions, leaving him feeling more lost and conflicted than ever before. He couldn't shake the lingering doubts and fears that gnawed at him from within. The tears he had shed in his grandfather's arms felt like an admission of defeat, a stark contrast to the strong facade he usually wore.
The city lights danced in a blur of colors as the car crossed over the bridge, casting fleeting glimpses of brightness against the dark canvas of the night.
"Pull over here, please," Porsche's voice cut through the quiet hum of the car. "I need air,"
Big nodded and pulled the car over to the side of the road.
Porsche unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out onto the pavement. The cool night air brushed against his skin as he made his way over the metal railing. Leaning against the railing, Porsche gazed out at the expanse of water below. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself against the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. When he opened his eyes, he felt trapped and scared; his face contorting in agony as his breathing grew heavier. He reached for his phone, his finger hovering over Francis's number. Francis always knew how to put him back together, and in this moment, just like years ago, he need him. But then he stopped. He couldn't. He had promised Kinn he would not see Francis again. And he won't risk betraying his trust.
"Let's go see daddy," Porsche whispered. He gently rested a hand on his protruding stomach, feeling the fluttering movements of their unborn children beneath his touch. "Excited to see him? " he smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, daddy is waiting,"
***
As Porsche quietly slipped through the door of their home, he was met with a serene scene in the living room. There, bathed in the gentle glow of lamplight, lay Kinn, fast asleep with a newborn baby book cradled against his chest. The sight filled Porsche with a rush of love and tenderness, softening the edges of his weary soul.
He reached for his phone, snapping a quick photo to preserve the memory forever. Then, with a gentle touch, he brushed a lock of hair from Kinn's forehead. For a moment, he simply stood there, soaking in the quiet beauty of the scene before him. In that moment, all the worries and doubts that had plagued him melted away, leaving only a profound sense of peace and contentment in their wake.
Gently, he lowered himself onto the cushion beside Kinn. He reached out, lightly brushing his fingertips against Kinn's cheek, stirring him from his slumber.
"Hey, sleepyhead," Porsche murmured softly, a tender smile playing on his lips. "Let's head upstairs,"
Kinn blinked sleepily, his eyes fluttering open as he registered Porsche's presence beside him. With a soft yawn, he stretched his arms above his head, the baby book slipping from his grasp and landing with a soft thud on the floor.
"Sorry, I must have dozed off," Kinn said, his voice still groggy from sleep."Did you just get home now?"
"I just got home," Porsche replied, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips. "I missed you."
Kinn couldn't help but notice the slight puffiness around his eyes, a telltale sign that he had been crying. Concern flickered in his own eyes as he reached up to gently brush his thumb along Porsche's cheek. "Hey, what's wrong?" Kinn asked softly, his voice laced with concern. "Why are your eyes red and swollen?"
Porsche hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to put his feelings into words. But something about the warmth and concern in Kinn's eyes prompted him to open up.
"It's been a tough evening," Porsche admitted quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "I had a talk with grandpa and... it brought up a lot of...things,"
Kinn's brow furrowed with worry as he listened to Porsche's words. "What happened?"
Stealing his nerves, Porsche took a deep breath. "We talked about us, about our relationship," he explained, his voice tinged with sadness. "And... it wasn't easy,"
Kinn's face softened as he reached out and wrapped his arms around him. "Hey, I'm here for you, Porsche," he whispered g his lips brushing against his temple. "Whatever it is, we are in it together,"
Just like that Porsche's tension eased slightly.
"Is grandpa unhappy with us?" Kinn asked, as his arms loosened around him.
"No," Porsche answered quickly.
"Is it about the pictures? We talked about those and you said....wait......... Camilla?"
"NO...NO... It wasn't like that... It just..." Porsche stuttered. "Thats not what it was about. I wasn't exactly a good grandson lately,"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I just don't want to lose you," Porsche whispered, tears began to trickle down his cheeks."Sorry," he choked, his voice trembling. "I didn't mean to cry. Fuck, these hormones turn me into jello... ish."
Kinn's thumb tracing the damp path where his tears had fallen "You will never lose me. You hear me? You will never. Where would I go, leaving my husband behind? Huh?"
With a shuddering breath, Porsche let out a sigh and wipe away the remaining tears that stained his cheeks. He mustered a feeble smile for Kinn, and said, "I know. Sorry."
"Don't," Kinn put his finger on his lips, shushing him. "I don't want to hear sorry, okay? You have nothing to apologize for,"
Porsche nodded, his lips curled into a barely perceptible smile.
"Babe?" Kinn cupped his face.He can tell there is more on Porsche's mind, something that is deeply troubling him.
"It's not what you think it is. He is just overprotective of us. Not just me, but you too. He loves you, you know," he smiled.
Kinn returned the smile. "I know he does, " he pressed his lips against his. Kinn hesitated for a moment before he decide to say what's on his mind. "Sweetheart, do you think maybe we should try couples therapy?" He asked carefully. He knows their marriage is a work in progress. Nothing will be undone overnight. But getting help considering what they've been through might make their relationship stronger.
Porsche blinked, surprised by the suggestion, "Couples therapy?" he repeated, his brow furrowing slightly as he considered the idea. "Why? There is nothing wrong with us. I mean we're fine. Great, even. Aren't we?"
"of course, Babe, I'm not saying w..."
"I told you the truth and everything. And today wasn't about you. It was just ......"
"Hey.. hey... easy," Kinn held his hands, his eyes on him. "I didn't say anything is wrong. And I believe you,"
"Then why?"
"Sweetheart, it's a suggestion. Maybe considering what we went through, I thought counseling may help us work through things. Help us become stronger than ever,"
Porsche's furrow grew deeper.
"Okay, we don't have to. I know with our berries date getting closer, I can see its being too much. For y...us," Kinn said quickly.
"This has nothing to do with our berries. I just don't think we need one when we are completely fine. Or am I just the only one who thinks everything is good between us?"
"Oh, my sweet kitten," Kinn pulled him into a hug. "We are fine, love," Kinn assured, seeing how tense Porsche gets. "I understand if we are not ready for that step yet or even need one. We can take things at our pace, okay?"
Porsche sighed, feeling a mixture of relief and guilt wash over him. "Okay... I don't know, I just..."
"Hey, it's okay. I just don't want to see tears in your beautiful eyes. Let's go to bed," Kinn said. He sensed that Porsche's strong reaction about therapy maybe had a lot more to it. For now, he didn't want him to be stressed with the twins' dates coming closer, but it was something he wanted to go back to and talk about. There was a lot more about his reaction.
"Carry me. I'm tired," Porsche whined, exaggerating a dramatic swoon for effect. "And my feet hurt from carrying around this big belly all day."
"Oh, how I wish, but with our berries..." Kinn chuckled, gently rubbing Porsche's lower back. "It's not safe... I will carry you around once the berries get home. Instead, I will give you a foot massage."
"Naked," Porsche teased. "You naked and foot massage, that's a deal I will accept."
"One of these days, I fear Kinn Junior will literally break,"
"That dick is mine, so now let's go," Porsche smiled, getting up. Kinn chuckled, grabbing the book from the floor and following Porsche.
***
Closing the file on Vegas and Kim, Porsche let out a long, exasperated sigh. The more he looks into it, the more he uncovers about their relationship. He wasn't gonna let Vegas off the hook for what he did. But it made him wonder if there was truly anything in that whole file Kinn burned. Grabbing his jacket, he left his office and made his way to see Vegas. Since Kinn was at Empire tonight for the first time since he resigned and would be running late because of a business dinner, it was the perfect time.
When he arrived at their place, he was surprised to find Tay looking disheveled and out of place.
"Vegas isn't here," Tay said, pouring Porsche a cup of tea. "He doesn't live here anymore." He pushed a plate of cookies toward Porsche. "I don't know where he is."
Porsche's eyes widen to the size of saucers. "What happened?" he asked.
With a forced smile, Tay recounted, "I told him to leave. It's not like he was here much, anyway. He left me the day Kim died.....he couldn't care less about me....." Tay paused, realizing his slip-up.
"Sorry... that wasn't my intention..."
"No, you don't have to..." Porsche began.
"He's either at the bar getting wasted or at his dear cousin's grave. Good luck finding him sober, though," Tay interrupted.
"Tay..."
"You know, I used to have this feeling... Kim was always a total jerk and made it clear he didn't like me. But I always thought it was because of Kinn. He had such animosity toward him since he was a kid, and I thought he didn't like me because I was Kinn's friend," Tay began, frustration and hurt palpable in his voice. "But now that I think about it, I don't think that's entirely the case... He... he had such a look in his eyes whenever he saw me. Like I did something wrong to him. Like I stole someone he lov...and Vegas, it......." Tay's voice caught in his throat. "He always had such a look whenever he saw Kim...I don't know...sadness, hurt,"
Tay couldn't help but chuckle at the absurd thought that crossed his mind.
"Kim sometimes goes crazy at family dinners, and you know the funny thing... Vegas was the only one who could tame him. He always stopped when Vegas gave him a look... or I don't know, maybe the look on Vegas's face made Kim stop. It's like... they... they..." Tay reflected, his voice trailing away. "Sorry, I don't know what I'm saying. I just didn't sleep well last night. "Sorry," he run hands over his tired face.
"I'm sorry, Tay," Porsche said genuinely. He didn't know what else to say.
"I wa..." Tay started, but his phone rang, interrupting him.Porsche nodded in understanding, his focus briefly on Tay as he exited onto the balcony with his phone. Once the sliding door clicked shut behind him, Porsche quickly reached for his phone, his fingers flying over the screen to send a swift text message. No matter what, he must find Vegas today.
"Sorry, I have to head back to the studio," Tay said, his voice slightly muffled as he stepped back inside after a few minutes on the phone.
"Oh, sure. I... yeah..." Porsche got up, picking up his jacket. "Thank you for the tea,"
***
Porsche punched in the code, the gentle beep signaling the door's release. With a push, the door swung open, revealing a room steeped in shadow and heavy with the scent of stale air and lingering alcohol. Thick curtains barred out the outside world, casting the space into near darkness. Empty bottles cluttered the coffee table, a silent testament to Vegas's current state.
"Whoa... looks like you've really gone all out here. Remind me of my parties days," Porsche quipped, his gaze sweeping over the disarray of the living room. But it was the photograph on the shelf that caught his eye—Vegas and Kim in a beach, smiling. That was probably the first time he saw Kim's face light up with genuine happiness.
"You know," Porsche turned to Vegas, who was slouched on the couch with a bottle of whisky. "It brings back another memories. too. The last time I warned your crazy cousin was at his place, and damn, did shit go down. So I guess history's bound to repeat itself. Hope we can be civil to one another. I hate me when I'm angry," Porsche mused, a sly smirk playing on his lips.
Vegas head snapped up, his eyes locking onto him, his face betraying no surprise."Glad I caught your attention," Porsche continued, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "oh, how I got inside? Told you, I'm a man full of surprises," he added, taking a seat on the other side of the couch, his gaze fixed on Vegas.
"Well, no one can touch you, anyway, right?" Vegas murmured, his voice thick with the effects of the whisky.
"Which should have told you not to mess with me," Porsche retorted sharply. "So, Vegas, help me understand why the hell you think it's okay to cross me. Please, enlighten me, because here I am, holding myself back from gutting you out,"
Vegas's laughter reverberated in the room, while Porsche's face remained impassive.
"Let me ask you this," Vegas struggled to sit up, his movements clumsy from the alcohol. "Are you happy now? Did it really make you feel good, powerful? How do you sleep at night next to your husband, knowing how you killed... tortured...his brother," His voice caught, tears welling up in his eyes. "How many bullets did you put in him?"
Porsche whistled, his demeanor devoid of any remorse. "Well, for one, I'm happy. Why the hell would I be sad?" His tone was coldly indifferent. "Two, I sleep next to my husband like a baby, dreams and all. Oh, we make love most nights." He paused, as if counting the reasons on his fingers. "And three, I honestly lost track of how many bullets I fired, but I know that I stopped when my mag was empty. Good times!" he mused, his voice chillingly casual. "To be honest, with you, my shooting skills have been rusty, but I'm amazed at how precise it was. The Phoenix never disappoints," he chuckled darkly.
Enraged, Vegas staggered to his feet, but Porsche swiftly drew a gun, freezing him in his tracks.
"Sit your ass down," Porsche warned, his voice low and menacing. He wasn't a fool to confront Vegas unarmed. He understood the dangers of anger and guilt all too well. "I said, SIT. DOWN."
Reluctantly, Vegas sank back onto the couch, the only thing holding him back was Porsche's protruding stomach.
"Are you going to kill me? Or did you bring your mafia goons along?" Vegas mocked.
"I don't need anyone else to handle your sorry ass," Porsche snapped back. "But really, Vegas, what the hell do you think you're doing? If I didn't make myself clear before, I am now. You pull that shit again, and I'm ending you. I don't give warnings twice so you can see how hard I'm trying. But next time you come after my family, maybe we can take a trip to where your beloved cousin met his end. It's beautiful down there, really,"
"You think you've won, don't you?" Vegas muttered bitterly, his voice laced with venom.
Porsche's expression remained stoic, his grip on the gun unwavering. "I'm not here to gloat, victory Vegas. I'm here to make sure you understand the consequences of your actions."
Vegas scoffed, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "And what, you're the judge now? The executioner?"
Porsche's jaw clenched, but he kept his composure. "I'm whatever I need to be to protect my family. And if that means dealing with idiot fool like you, then so be it."
"Are you scared?" Vegas taunted, smiling. "You're really scared he will leave you, aren't you?"
"Is that why you pulled your stupid stunt? Well, don't worry. Kinn knows everything so you can kiss your threat goodbye."
Vegas's smile widened as he looked at Porsche. "Everything? Oh please. My cousin might be a fool in love and so excited to be dad but not an idiot? Babies? He needs to do a DNA test. And once he does, he'll kick you to the curb, just watch,"
"Careful, Vegas. I wouldn't trust myself with a gun in my hand," Porsche tapped the gun on the armrest, raising an eyebrow. When he gets provoked, he goes off the rails in no time and he's not in the mood for that.
Sitting across from each other, they remained fixated, their eyes locked in a silent battle of unspoken words. Porsche, going against his nature, try to understand him; he keeps telling himself that maybe violence isn't the answer for everything. And Vegas stared back at him, his gaze held a complex blend of helplessness, hatred, and shattered pieces of himself.
"What were his last words?" Vegas choked up, feeling drained of energy to fight. Regret and guilt had gotten the best of him, and the alcohol had done a number on him.But this was something thats been on his mind, maybe it's just his guilt talking.
"Let's see..." Porsche taunted, with a smirk, not giving a damn about Vegas feeling. Just like that his usual self creep back in. "He cried like a bitch," he blurt out, unapologetically. "He begged quicker than I thought he would. Damn, the bastard was softie. Dude can't stand a single electric shock, what a fucker," he rolled his eyes. "His words... what were his words... he screamed a lot. I thought my ears were coming off. opps I already said that. The evil smirk on his lips only exacerbated Vegas's anger, and he knew Vegas would have been on him if he weren't pregnant. "Oh, there was something he said...."
Vegas's jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring as his anger surged, but hold himself down, wanting to hear his next words.
"Please... enough... Please," Porsche mimicked Kim's pleading voice. And then he couldn't help but burst into laughter. "But he didn't see it coming when I pulled the trigger. I might have a video of it. If I'm feeling generous, I might airdrop it to you so you can see how I roasted his balls," he said, his lips quivering as he fought back a burst of laughter.
Vegas staggered to his feet. "Motherfucker. I'm going to kill you," he sneered. He didn't give a damn about anything except wanting to knock him out, but Porsche words stops him once again.
"You wonder if he listened to your voicemail, did you?" Porsche said, with a smirk.
"What?"
"Did he listen to your last words for him or not? I mean, that was a touchy voicemail. And I know it's killing you with all the what ifs," Porsche said, casually waving his gun. "What? I do have Kim's phone. Do you want it?" He raised eyebrow, his tone nonchalant, though the gun in his hand sent a clear warning.
In the tense silence that followed, Vegas stood frozen, torn between rage and anguish, as Porsche's cruel words hung heavy in the air.
Porsche rose from his seat, his eyes fixed on the photo frame resting on the shelf. His gaze flickered briefly towards Vegas, who stood frozen, his face a canvas of shock.
"You know, Vegas," Porsche began, his tone calm but laced with a hint of mockery, "I feel for Tay. I mean, look at this place." He gestured expansively around the room. "It's like a shrine to what you two had. You clearly are in love with our dear Kimmy, so.... where does that leave Tay? huh?"
Vegas's jaw tightened, his knuckles turning white as he clenched his fists. "Shut up," he growled, his voice low and dangerous.
Porsche raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "Touchy, touchy. But you know what they say about denial, Vegas. It's not just a river in Egypt," his eye return to the photo frame. "It's really quite tragic. This life you've built... it's all just a facade, isn't it?"
Vegas's eyes flashed with anger, but before he could respond, Porsche pressed on, his words cutting like a knife. "You think you can keep Tay in the dark forever? That he'll never find out about this little charade? or better yet, Kinn,"
Vegas's jaw tightened, but he remained silent, his fists clenched at his sides.
"Tay deserves better," Porsche continued, his tone almost casual. "But here you are, clinging to the past like it's all you have left,"
"Shut up!" Vegas roared, his voice echoing through the room. "Shu....shut....shut your mouth before I cut your tongue out,"
But Porsche just chuckled, his smirk never faltering. "Oh scary....oh my.....But here's the thing, Vegas," he continued, his voice laced with a cold edge. "You can throw your little pity party all you want, but let's get one thing straight: stay the fuck away from me and Kinn. Because if you're looking for apologies or remorse from me, you might as well wait for the Pacific and Atlantic oceans to mix."
His words hung heavy in the air, each syllable punctuated by a sharp intensity that left no room for negotiation. But Vegas's face twisted with defiance.
"FUCK YOU!" Vegas sneered.
"No thanks, you ain't it for me," Porsche's lips curl into a smirk as he strolls back to the couch and sits comfortably on the couch, gun in hand, tapping on the armrest. "You really don't want to mess with me, Vegas,"
"Bring it on, Pyscho!" Vegas spat.
Porsche raised his gun, and a deafening bang echoed through the air.
"Say no more," Porsche said, his eyes narrowing with an icy glare.
As the deafening bang filled the room, time seemed to freeze. Vegas staggered backward, but surprisingly composed. "Why? Need more practice? I thought murder was your thing. Shoot me. Come on, SHOOT!" he yelled, his breathing growing heavier. "Is that how cowardly you shot him? Huh?"
"Careful, Vegas," Porsche retorted through gritted teeth.
"Oh, please, save me the Natta story. Shoot me! Go ahead and show me who you really are," Vegas roared, Kim's corpse flashing through his head. The haunting image never left his mind, tormenting him with every breath he takes. "Go ahead," he choked, challenging Porsche without fear.
Porsche stared at him.
Vegas's laughter cut through the air like shattered glass, a chilling echo of malice. "He'll never be you, Porsche. Never. And you want to know the truth? The truth that Kinn will never tell you, the truth that haunts your deepest fears? Let me spoil it for you, psycho," Vegas taunted, locking eyes with him defiantly. "You had a mother that never wanted you, loved you; beat the crap out of you, starved you and what did you do? You killed her. Sure, you can spin tales to Kinn about her monstrosity, but we both know 'psycho' wasn't just a nickname. She saw through you, saw the real evil beneath your skin. That's why you felt nothing as she burned,"
Porsche's facade of composure cracked, his features hardening into a mask of rage and anguish.
"And your uncle? Oh, you conveniently left that part out, didn't you?" Vegas smirk widen, relishing in Porsche's discomfort. "He saw your worthlessness, your filth, and he sold you to...... oh you didn't tell Kinn that, did you? Maybe if he knew how dirty you were, he would not have brought such a whore into our life," He took a step forward, eyes ablaze with fury, his drunkenness replaced by a seething anger.
"Kinn was just another pawn in your game, wasn't he?" Vegas pressed, venom dripping from his words. "A toy to prove, mommy you've got a heart after all, that you're not a total screw-up. But surprise, surprise, he did left you. Not once, but twice, Porsche. left you because, like mommy drilled into you, you're just not worth sticking around for, let alone to love,"
Porsche's teeth clenched, his jaw tightening as a silent roar of frustration reverberated within him, his eyes smoldering with hurt and his fists trembling, desperately trying to contain his mounting fury."You were never worthy of love. Not from your mother, nor from the man you claimed to love. Did you even love him, or just the idea of him?" Vegas's words cut like knives, each one drawing blood from Porsche's wounded soul.
Porsche's grip on the gun tightened, his heart pounding with a mixture of rage and anguish as he wrestled with the demons unleashed by Vegas's mercilessly harsh words.
"Porsche, Phoenix, Natta... doesn't matter what name they gave you. You are and will always be a worthless piece of shit, and that's why you killed my Kim. Kinn was never beaten, starved... he bought his mother flowers and gifts every Mother's Day, birthday, holiday. Just because someone doesn't butter you up doesn't mean you want to kill them. He loved his father and respected him. He loved his brother even though Kim was a troubled kid... he was just hurt, confused, unwell... not a monster you are trying to make..... he would..." Vegas' voice faltered, a single tear falling down. "I would have stopped him if you didn't take him from me. I would have..."
"I should have tortured him more," Porsche muttered.
"You've always been the bottom of the barrel, the consolation prize when all else fails. And no matter how desperately you try to hide, you'll forever be that pathetic, abandoned, unloved psychopath with mommy issues. No amount of wealthy can change this fact,"
Porsche, in a fit of rage, squeezed the trigger, the gunshot echoing through the room as the bullet struck just inches away from Vegas, shattering the large wall art frame. Startled by the sudden noise and force, Vegas stumbled backward, though untouched by the bullet. Yet, rather than fear, a grin slowly spread across his lips, as if he found amusement in Porsche's futile attempt to intimidate him.
"Here comes the real monster, the real you," Vegas sneered, taking a deliberate step closer. Rationality had fled him entirely. "Go ahead, try it again, bastard. Or are you only brave when you've got your lackeys to hide behind?"Porsche's eyes narrowed as he leveled his aim directly at Vegas, ready to end him right then and there.
"Stop... stop..." Francis's beseeching voice pierced through the air as he burst through the door, followed by Arm and all his bodyguards. "Lower the gun, Porsche."
"Say that again, you bastard," Porsche's hand trembled, his eyes ablaze with hatred.
"Come on, Natta. If you're going to do it, do it now. Shoot... shoot... shoot..."
"Don't listen to him, look at me, Phoenix. It's me, Fran... come on," Francis pleaded, inching closer to Porsche with caution, fearful of startling him. "It's me, baby,... put the gun down. Please, baby,"
"And that's why Kinn will leave you..." Vegas chuckled. "Because he will always be the one next to you, not him," he nodded towards Francis."Take him away," Francis yelled, turning to his Arm. He wanted to end him right then and there, but Porsche was his priority at this moment. In his peripheral vision, he caught sight of his bodyguards also aiming a gun at Porsche. It was their duty to protect their boss at any given moment, regardless of who that person was to him. They won't take risk with his life, especially with a gun in play. Yet, it anger him even more to see gun pointed at Porsche."Everyone, get out. Now."Arm hesitated, but the sternness in Francis's expression made him relent. He nodded curtly, signaling to the other guards to escort Vegas out."You'll never..." Vegas's defiant shout was cut short as Arm delivered a swift blow with the stock of his gun, silencing him instantly.
"Take him away. I'll deal with him later," Francis reiterated. He turned to Porsche, whose hand trembled uncontrollably, his breaths coming in ragged gasps. "He is gone. Give me the gun...please...you scaring me,"
Porsche's eyes remained fixed on the spot where Vegas had been just moments ago, a dark intensity swirling within them. He didn't even blink, his gaze piercing through the air, as if searching for something unseen.
"Berries... berries, Phoenix. Please... Stop," he pleads, his voice trembling with anguish, fully aware that Porsche is slipping away into the abyss of darkness.
At the mention of his babies, Porsche blinked..."My... berries..." his voice wavered as reality crashed over him. "My... my ....my......"
"Give me the gun, baby... please, give it to me," Francis said softly. "Just breathe... come on, baby, breathe..."
Francis gently reached for the gun, Porsche's grip tightened, his knuckles white with tension. His breaths came in short gasps, his chest heaving with the weight of his emotions. Francis could see the turmoil raging within Porsche, the struggle between the darkness threatening to consume him and the faint glimmer of hope desperately trying to break through.
With infinite patience, Francis continued to coax Porsche, his voice a soothing balm amidst the chaos surrounding them. "Let it go. Trust me, baby. It's me. Your fran," Slowly, he eased the gun from Porsche's trembling hand, his touch gentle yet firm. "I'm here, baby. I'll always be here for you," he whispered.
"What did I....Ah...ah...fran..." Porsche screamed, feeling sharp stabs of pain in his lower abdomen. "ah...my babies....Fran...."
***
"You really have got nerves, don't you?" Francis said, pulling a chair and straddling it, his arm draped lazily over the backrest. The underground chamber was a chilling, bathed in dim, flickering light that cast eerie shadows across the damp walls. "I'm quite curious to know what on earth gave you the audacity to act like such a complete idiot," Francis's voice remained unnervingly calm.
"Now, tell me, which one should I send to your little cousin," Francis smirked, raising his hands as Arm handed him the iPad. He glanced at the screen, a smile playing on his lips, then turned it to Vegas. "Your beautiful kept man," he pointed to Tay on the webcam feed, visible in his studio, painting.
Vegas's eyes widened as he caught sight of Tay in his studio, fully immersed in his art, brush in hand. Through his bruised eyes, he could make out a figure lurking around the corner by the door, dressed entirely in black.
"Or this little angel?" Francis swiped to show Macau in his room, studying diligently. Another figure was glimpsed in the background. "So, which one?" Francis's voice turned cold, the smile slipping from his face. "Or both," he added, pulling out his phone. "one call , and you'll see firsthand what it means to cross me,"
***
Notes:
Happy Saturday!
Hope you enjoy this chapter. This chapter is a bit intense chapter, but hey, you know the signature this story 😉💚❤️