*****
Okay, this is the last one before I go to sleep, promise <3
*****
After an uneventful week, it was almost time for Rosa's birthday! I regret not getting her anything, but in my defence, she didn't get me anything either. It was just two hours and 30 minutes until she was 15. Me and her got into our usual conversations about nothing much in particular, this continued pretty uneventfully until there were just two hours left until her birthday, when she started to act a little differently...
*Hey, Mike... What is the worst gift you could think of getting someone?
*Umm... I dunno? Something they have no use for?
*Well, I think I've figured out what it is.
*Oh, really? Who got you that? And what it is?
*Who got it me? Lee.
*Okay... so what was it?
*He didn't get me anything, he just took.
*How'd he do that?
I was curious, she was beating around the bush, alerting me to the severity of the matter before she told me what happened.
*If you go on facebook, you may notice my relationship status has changed to "Single". Yeah. Best present ever.
*Woah he dumped you? Like just? What a heartless bastard! I knew it wouldn't end well!
*Yeah he dumped me, less than 15 minutes ago. His reason "I'm not ready for a serious relationship"
*What a complete idiot, he has no idea what he's losing out on.
*Thanks Mike, that made me smile.
*It's no problem Rosa, that's what I'm here for! :)
I wish I could comfort her more, but I just didn't know how!
This conversation continued on for the remaining two hours until her birthday. Just as it turned midnight, I ditched the conversation and said;
*Happy birthday gorgeous! I hope your 15 years have taught you enough to make the next 15 years the best 15 of your life! You deserve it. <3
*Woah, thanks Michael! Even though you couldn't get me anything for my birthday, the smile you just put on my face was worth more.
I had made her smile, after all that, damn I was good. I knew she suffered from depression, which lead her to self-harm, so just as a precaution, I told her that because it was her birthday, she should try to stay happy any not do anything stupid. She kindly agreed to this, which brought a smile to my face.
I hated knowing that Rosa was hurting herself, because of somebody else hurting her. Why should she have to suffer the pain twice over? She didn't deserve that at all. Nobody did. After a few minutes of discussing the subject, she fell asleep on MSN, something she did more often than not. I found it extremely cute, just imagining her lying in bed while on her phone, and falling asleep while typing out a reply, yet she seemed to disagree, hating it when anybody called her cute.
After a great nights sleep, knowing that Rosa would be just fine, and a meaningless day at college, where I decided that after a few months, I was actually quite attracted to Lucy, a girl in my college group. I made no effort in hiding this to Rosa, I told her just about everything that was on my mind, so why should this be any different? I didn't realise just how jealous she would get, or even that she would get jealous, that was until her reply after me describing Lucy.
*Fuck... You like her, don't you?
*Yeah I guess I do.
I wasn't certain yet, she was beautiful, but also used goods. I was a virgin, a nineteen year old virgin, and she was only eighteen, and had already slept with more guys than girls I had dated. Why would she be interested in me? I have no talents, I'm not all that smart, I'm not charismatic or interesting, and I'm definitely not fashionable. Besides, I was still in love with Rosa, whether I wanted her to know that yet or not was a different matter.
*Fuck... So why don't you ask her out?
She was doing the same thing that I did when she was telling me about Lee for the first time. Just saying it to make me feel better. I didn't really want to take what she was saying seriously, so I tried to put myself down, to see if she would give up with that conquest, and take me back.
*Because she'd say no.
*But... You never know?
Why can't you just see that it's not really what I want. I want you Rosa.
*I guess...
*So try it then...
*But...
Oh how I wanted to tell her that I was still in love with her, but it was too soon after her breakup with Lee for that.
*Michael, there's no harm in trying, okay? So just do it.
*Are you sure?
*Yes, I'm fucking sure.
She really was doing what I was doing, too bad she was terrible at it, I knew she didn't want me to date Lucy, but I couldn't tell her I knew that, I went along with it.
*Okay then... I'll do it.
*Good... Fuck...
*Something wrong?
Thank god that she had said that, now I could question her without it being out of place
*No, of course not. Why would there be?
Rosa - Worst liar ever.
*Well... You keep swearing so it seems something's up.
*It's nothing. I'm gonna go to bed now... It's like 10pm and I have school.
That was just an excuse to end the conversation there, she never went to bed at 10pm, it was more like 11 when she usually logged off, but I went with it again.
*Okay... Well, good night. And sweet dreams.
*Sweet dreams x
Right after that she went offline, and it was over with. What had I done? Now she will be worried that I'm gonna get with Lucy, even though I really have no intention of getting with her any time soon.
The next day went by just as usual, I didn't ask Lucy anything, or even tell her that I liked her, just as I had planned in my head. It was just past dinner time when Rosa came online, I had to start the conversation up with her, I knew she'd be in too bad of a mood to do it first.
*Hey, Rosa.
*Hey...
*You okay?
*Yeah... You?
*You don't seem okay.
It was so easy to tell when she was lying to me, she was terrible at it.
*I'm fine. Did you talk to that girl?
*No...
*Why not?*
I took my time to think about my reasoning, did I want to tell her the truthful reason yet, or not? I had to think of something, something plausible.
*Because I was too shy...
*Mike... I still like you...
Woah where the hell did that come from?! Did she just openly admit to still liking me, even after all that we had been through?
*Really?
*Yeah...
*Wow...
*Sorry, I shouldn'tve said that... I abandoned you for Lee, I don't have the right...
She didn't realise how much I wanted her to say that she still liked me! I didn't care what had happened between her and Lee, that was my fault for letting her go.
*No, it's okay.
*It's not.
*It is.
*It's not. Why would it be?
Here is my chance to shine, wish me luck?
*Well... I still like you too, Rosa...
*What about that girl?
I had to think of another excuse...
*She admitted to being materialistic.
*I thought you knew that already?
Damn she figured it out...
*Yeah but I don't like her... I like you.
*Are you serious?
*Of course. Why, aren't you?
After all of this, she better not have been messing me about...
*Yes! I love you!
Thank fuck for that!
*I love you too!
This brought a smile to my face, even after all we had been through, we could finally share our feelings together again! This was the best news... like... ever! We both admitted to loving each other....