(Longer chapter!!)
(TW!! Mentions of torture!!)
Gabriel approaches me, "I'll tell you if I find anything about 'Lyss, good or bad."
I'm leaning on a tree while Gabriel gets ready to scout the Reapers. I haven't been able to hold my focus on anything, instead, my brain immediately goes to ways I can sneak inside the Meridian and find Alyssa. But, I know that's stupid and I know it could put her in more danger. So I need to wait, which is so much harder than just sacrificing myself for her.
I nod, forcing myself to hold eye contact, "Thank you."
Gabriel manages a small smile and rubs my shoulder before turning away and walking through the woods. Negan looks at Maggie and me, "You ready?" He asks. We've decided to pull a Whisperers and rally up as many Walkers as we can so we can use them against the Reapers. I'm not excited to smell like a rotting corpse and wear a rotting corpse mask but, it'll get Alyssa back.
That's all I care about.
"I'm not cuttin' up anyone I know. You're gonna have to find me four strangers." Maggie orders.
"Only need four, I kept my mask for practical and sentimental reasons." Negan smirks.
"We don't have enough time to get picky and choosey." I sass, rolling my eyes and walking over to a Walker and plunging my knife into its rotted skull. "I'm sick of this bullshit." I mumble.
"We'll get her." Maggie assures me gently, watching as I crouch down next to the Walker.
"We better." I reply swiftly, grunting as I shove my knife into the Walker's skin and slowly slice its face off.
A few minutes later, Maggie and I have dead people's faces on ours and we're walking in circles, trying to practice herding. "Lower your shoulders, arms limp." Negan orders lowly. "Good." He says as Maggie and I's arms go completely limp.
The mask is fucking disgusting, slimy, and smells like a Walker's ass but I have to deal with it. Negan then cuts the Walker we had tied up loose, allowing it to follow Maggie and me just as it would in a herd. When Maggie trips over something small, I grab her by the arm and pull her up before she hits the ground. But, the Walker in front of us notices it and turns around, quickly approaching Maggie. Elijah and Negan grab the Walker before it can grab either of us and they tie it up to the tree again.
Maggie takes her mask off and throws it at Negan, "This piece of shit."
Negan chuckles, "It's not gonna fit you perfectly. It was someone else's face. Look, this might actually work. And I mean it. If I can do it, you can do it." I stand off to the side, huffing and puffing angrily while they waste valuable fucking time. "I'll take this back, work on it, fix it for you. Then we'll try it again. You did good, Maggie." Negan looks at me as I take my mask off, "You too, Adrian." I don't reply, I just walk away.
"I know how you feel," Maggie tells me, walking after me. "I felt the same way with Beth."
"Did you, Maggie? Do you know how I feel? Was Beth the first person you looked for after the prison fell or was it Glenn? Because Alyssa was the first person I looked for, not Daryl." Now that I've started, I can't stop. "Beth wasn't being beaten, possibly tortured for information. Alyssa is. Alyssa-" My voice breaks and I turn away from Maggie to collect my composure. "I think Alyssa is." I face her again, the tears sucking back into my eyes. "I'm helpless, Maggie. Fuckin' helpless while she's alone...scared...hurting."
Maggie hesitates before nodding slowly, "You're not helpless, Adrian. You're one of the strongest people I know and Alyssa is so lucky to have you on her side. Because if she has you on her side, that means she has god on her side."
I scoff tearfully, "Thanks."
Maggie half smiles and nods to the bracelet on my wrist, "I remember when she would just sit and make bracelets for hours on end." My fingers fidget with the bracelet at the mention of it, that memory feeding into my brain as well.
"Yeah, she uh...it was her escape." I nod to my backpack at the base of one of the trees. "I think I still have the bracelet-making kit in there from like eight years ago."
She stares at me, "Why?"
I shrug, "In case she chooses that to be her escape again, I'll always have it on hand."
Maggie half-smiles, "That's really thoughtful, Adrian."
"Anyone would do it."
"No, not anyone. Don't belittle that just because you can't accept the compliment." Maggie says. "You're a great sister and an amazing mom." She chuckles, "I can't believe Alyssa's an aunt."
I mirror her chuckle, "Me neither. I was so convinced she'd be the first person to have a kid."
Maggie smiles, "Well, you deserve it." My response fades away as I see Negan standing behind Maggie, waiting for our conversation to be over. She notices and follows my eyes, turning around to face Negan.
He tosses her the mask, "Here. Let's try it again."
When Gabriel got back, he hadn't found anything on Alyssa. But he had too many Walkers for me to care.
We're at Meridian now, a whole population of Walkers surrounding us with annoying ass background growls. We're circling them just like the Whisperers did, keeping them in front of the walls of Meridian. Until, some asshole Reaper comes out of the walls and starts leading them away. Even more of a chance to become a Whisperer, I mean, the knife in my sleeve is practically screaming to stab someone.
A few miles out, we're in the woods, the Reaper in front of the Walkers with his ego high as hell.
"Hey Pied Piper, hows the pipin'?" Shaw asks over Pied Piper's radio.
"Are you kidding? I'm the belle of the ball out here. They love me." He says.
"All right belle."
Negan and I continue leading our group of Walkers toward Pied Piper while Maggie and Elijah split with another group to trap him.
"Sir, we have a situation." Pied Piper says into his radio when Maggie's Walkers come out of the woods.
"What kind of situation?" A man on the radio asks as we connect the two groups of Walkers. As the man fights them with fear emanating off of him, when he approaches me to kill me, I stab him in the stomach. He turns around and gets stabbed by Negan, then Maggie. And, because of the blood and screaming, he gets tackled and torn apart. His screams ring in my ears as I grab his walkie, he looks at me in horror just as the light leaves his eyes.
I smirk and follow Negan and Maggie just as Shaw says, "Wells, do you copy?" Over the walkie. Negan and I share a glance as I pocket the walkie while Shaw keeps repeating her question.
By nightfall, we're back at Meridian and our herd has almost doubled. The Reapers are on their wall again, watching us as we approach.
I grab Negan by the wrist and pull him away from a landmine hidden in the grass just as it explodes, sending Walkers flying in the air. He looks at me with appreciative eyes before bringing her attention to the ground, paying attention to any more landmines.
Walkers get exploded every three seconds around us, smoke clouding our vision and Walker guts splatting on our clothes. "Fuck," I exhale, my words only heard by Negan.
He points to Maggie and Gabriel as they break apart from the herd, moving to get to the walls of Meridian. Elijah joins Negan and I just as a landmine explodes next to us. My ears ring loudly and smoke enters my lungs uncomfortably, my heart pounds faster and faster. Something must have hit Elijah because Negan has to grab him and hold him upright as he holds his hand over his leg.
Slowly but surely, we start approaching the wall of Meridian, our Walkers still being destroyed behind us. The closer we get, the harder my heart pounds. We're getting closer and closer to wherever the hell Alyssa is. But Daryl's on the inside, so, hopefully, he'll get her out and protected while they're distracted by us.
Every little noise causes me to jump. My muscles are tensed and my fingers are numb as my knife rubs uncomfortably on my forearm. I don't know if there are any more landmines and with that thought in the back of my head, every step I take is calculated and hesitant.
I yelp when a mine explodes and something sharp hits me in the stab wound on my side. Negan and Elijah quickly look back at me and I nod to tell them I'm okay.
"Look," Negan whispers slowly, pointing to a red truck slamming through the gates. Without waiting for further instruction, we slip inside with the Walkers around us as protection.
"Go, go, go," I whisper, practically pushing Negan and Elijah as the Walkers around us die.
We finally make it to a place where we're safe from the Reapers, bushes and shrubs serving as a wall around us.
"Go, I need to find Alyssa." I whisper to Negan, beginning to run off.
"No, you can't go alone." He says, grabbing my wrist.
"Yes the hell I can. You two have to go! I need to get my sister back!" I struggle to break out of his grasp but eventually, I manage. I run off without looking back, my determination getting rid of any doubt or fear I have.
One of the doors inside the building is broken open so I enter through that, the darkness of the inside hallway swallowing me whole. My footsteps slow so I don't draw attention to myself and my hand is gripped tightly around the handle of Damien's knife.
As I'm trekking through the dark, smelly, musty hallway, a concrete door catches my attention.
Alyssa.
Without waiting another second, I slam in the door, quickly checking each side of the walls for anyone inside before continuing.
Inside, there are three cells. Three out of the four walls are concrete and the front wall of the cells are chain-link fences with a chain-link door. They resemble dog kennels and I swear to god if I find out Alyssa's been staying in here.
"Alyssa?" I whisper, checking the first cell.
"Adrian?" I hear from the very last one. My heart drops and I straighten up, immediately running to the sound of the voice.
"Oh my god..." I whisper, a sob crawling up my throat at the sight of my sister. She's beaten, bad. Her eyes are almost swollen fully shut, her lip is split and she has blood splattered all across her face. Her blonde hair is clumped in damp locks which better not be from being water-boarded. Two of her fingernails are missing and the skin on her pointer finger is almost fully shredded off. "What did they do to you..." I quickly use my knife to break the lock on the door and run over to my sister, hugging her tightly.
She gasps when I wrap my arms around her before sobbing into me, repeating "Thank you, thank you" over and over again.
"Who was it?"
She stares at me with teary eyes, "Which part?" I'm shaking with anger, seeing your sister like this is something nobody should ever have to experience. Going through this level of torture is something nobody should ever have to experience. "I didn't tell them about you. No matter what they did to me," Her words are weirdly slurred and it seems like it's hard for her to talk. When she notices how she's speaking, she sticks her tongue out to reveal the tip of it missing.
"I'm gonna kill them." I laugh, "I'm gonna fuckin' kill them!"
She shakes her head, "I am."
"You better. Can you walk?"
She nods and grabs my hand, slowly leading me out of the cell and down the hallway. "I heard them talking about a sniper room up on the top floor. We can get up there with the steps I saw." She pauses next to a room with dried blood on a chair in the middle of concrete walls.
"That's where they did it..." I mumble to myself, bugs creeping under my skin.
"You're here now," She manages a weak, unemotional smile. "That's all that matters."
I nod and squeeze her hand, "Lead the way." She nods and guides me down the hallway and to a flight of stairs. I grab ahold of her and help her up, each step is slower than the last but we make progress.
Once we get upstairs, Maggie, Elijah, and Negan are all up in the infirmary. "Alyssa," Maggie gasps, leaving Elijah to get his wound fixed by Negan. Negan and Elijah stare at Alyssa in horror, their eyes fixed on her wounds.
"What do you need?" I ask, looking at all of the medical supplies.
"Wait, come with us." Maggie whispers, leading us into a secret room behind a fake wall.
When the door closes, I help Alyssa sit down and I grab her hand, still squeezing it. Blood seeps out of her arm and when I pull her sleeve up, I see a cut on her forearm and a burned gash in her bicep. "Holy shit." I whisper, accidentally squeezing her hand too tight. "Sorry. Maggie?" I motion for some bandages and she hands me three wraps, as well as antiseptics.
"What's the plan?" Negan asks.
"Wait 'til dawn, hunt them down." Maggie replies, peering out of a small rectangular peephole in the wall.
"Or we just get the food and go." Negan suggests.
"Yeah, hell no. Not after what they did to Alyssa." I reply as Alyssa grunts from the antiseptic.
"Carver, report." Shaw's voice comes from a radio outside of the walls. Alyssa tenses at the name Carver and I immediately know who the hell did this to her.
I narrow my eyes and continue wrapping her arm, trying desperately hard to contain my composure. I feel like a beast is inside of me, shaking to get out.
"In the infirmary," Carver says. "The leader slipped me, but I'll get her."
"Just find her. Not one of them is getting out of here alive. Take the blonde bitch out first. She should still be in the cell room."
I exhale slowly, realizing I saved Alyssa from being murdered in cold blood. "Copy that." Carver replies.
I make eye contact with Alyssa, "He did this?" I mouth. She nods, her bloody lip quivering with suppressed sadness and fear. Fuck, she was probably so scared. I should've gotten here sooner.
We're all inside different rooms now. Alyssa and I are in one, Elijah in another, Negan in the one across from me. As she runs down the hallway, Maggie's panicked footsteps are our signal to get ready to fight.
"Oops. Wrong turn." Carver taunts. Alyssa grips my wrist in fear but maintains her composure.
Elijah's door opens next, "You killed my sister." He says.
"Okay?" Carver replies.
Then Negan's door, then ours. Carver looks at Alyssa, "Shit, this is the Adrian you were protecting? Fuck man, thought she'd be hotter since you were willing to loose your goddamn tongue to protect her." Alyssa screams and throws her knife directly at his head, though he must have seen it coming because he ducks just before it can hit him.
Negan takes that as his chance to pounce but he met his match because he catches Negan's hand, elbows him in the ribs, and sends him flying. Elijah is next, armed with his scythe. When he slams Elijah's face into the wall, I take that as my turn. When I grab him by the throat, he backs into the wall, hard. The force of the wall and his body squishing mine causes my hands to let go from around his neck. He then turns and punches me in the face twice before Alyssa goes up.
She yells in pain as he digs his thumb into her bicep wound, blood starting to pour out of her again. Negan, Elijah, Maggie, and I try again, all of us going after him.
God damn he's good. Every time one of us swings, shoves, slices, punches, anything he avoids it and counters it with something so much more painful.
Elijah and Maggie are on the ground now, both of them in too much pain to continue. Carver turns to me and smirks, "She thought you could protect her. I heard her whispering your name in that cell. 'Adrian, please hurry. Adrian.'" He smiles a predatory, manic smile. "Weren't quick enough." Carver lunges at me, smacking me with Negan's pipe and then kicking me in the stomach.
When I land on the ground, before he can do anything else, Alyssa grabs him and spins him around punching him hard enough to send him into the wall. He groans angrily and unsheathes his knife, swinging it at her as she narrowly misses it.
The world spins around me from the force of the pipe, so much so it's incredibly difficult for me to stand up and help, but after hearing Alyssa scream in agony, I try anyway. While fighting with Alyssa, Carver kicks his foot back, straight into my face, and I'm back on the ground again.
However, instead of me needing to fight to help Alyssa, Negan yells "Hey!" From a few feet away from me. "Over here, shitdick."
Carver drops Alyssa and she falls to the ground before scooting up against the wall with her hand on her stomach as if it hurts. I raise my eyebrows at her to make sure she's okay and she nods tiredly, her breaths heavy and weak.
Carver slowly approaches Negan, "This should be fun." Elijah yells out and throws his scythe, distracting Carver so Negan can throw a handful of sand in his eyes and smack him in the head with a bell with a loud clang.
"Well, ding ding." Negan mumbles as Carver falls to the ground.
I groan and quickly crawl to Alyssa, "You okay?"
She nods while Maggie grabs Elijah's scythe to kill Carver. "No!" Alyssa yells. "I want to." She looks at Elijah, "Please." He nods through pained tears, his knee grossly out of socket from Carver kicking it. Maggie slowly hands Alyssa the scythe and backs away so she has a clear path.
Just as Alyssa raises the scythe, Daryl yells "Stop!" from down the hall.
She pauses and looks at him as Carver slowly wakes up and weakly says, "Should've took you right off." to Daryl. Daryl punches him once more, knocking him out completely.
"We don't kill him yet." Daryl pants.
"He tortured Alyssa!" I yell.
"He needs to pay for what he did!" Elijah whimpers, talking about his dead sister.
"I agree, but if we go down that route...we ain't all gonna make it out alive." Daryl replies, grabbing Carver's weapons. "No offense. I hate this prick. But we got him now, let's use him. Get what we want and go home."
"Are you doing this for her?" Alyssa asks, tossing the scythe aside angrily.
"No. No, I'm not. I'm doing it for us." Daryl says. "Leah wants us gone but not more than saving her family, especially this asshole."
"This can go wrong 800 different ways. Me, I am down with us getting out of this alive." Negan adds.
"No!" Elijah yells.
"Elijah..." Maggie tries.
"You're just gonna let him walk away?"
"They will get what's coming to them." Maggie pants. "Maybe not today, but they will."
I look at Alyssa, "Are you cool with this?"
She nods hesitantly as if she's in pain, her face getting oddly pale. "You'll get him eventually, Adri. After what he did to me."
I nod, "Yeah. We will. I'll track him down by scent if I have to."
"Leah," Daryl says into Carver's walkie-talkie. "It's me. We need to talk."
A little while later, Negan is walking Carver, who has a gag around his throat, to meet Leah. Maggie is helping Elijah walk and I'm helping Alyssa.
Daryl holds up his hand to tell us to pause. "You ready?" He asks Maggie.
"Yeah," She agrees.
"Here, take this. Just in case." He says, handing Maggie a revolver. "Leah," he speaks into the walkie.
"We're here." Leah's voice comes from the radio. A door slides open a few feet away.
"Come out, lay your weapons on the ground." Daryl orders.
"I need to see Carver first!" Leah yells.
Daryl sighs and grabs Carver, holding a knife to his throat and walking him out. "Come out! Lay your weapons on the ground!"
"What are you offering?" Leah asks as she and two other men stand before Daryl and Carver.
"Lose the weapons and we let you leave." Daryl says.
"That all?" A man asks.
"You head north, don't turn back. I see anyone, anyone at all, I'm gonna kill him. Once we're far out enough, I'll let him go. Shut up!" Daryl yells to Carver as he mumbles something through his gag.
"You expect me to trust you now?" Leah asks.
"Yeah, I do. We're doing this all wrong. We survived everything for what? To keep fighting and killing each other?"
"If that's what it takes." Leah sighs.
"Don't have to." Daryl says. "I'm giving you a chance to save what's left of your family. And mine."
Leah hesitates, running her fingers through her hair. "No more lies. Jenson." She says into her walkie. Immediately after, a gunshot lands right at Daryl's feet. "That was a warning! The last one! Everybody out!" All four of us come out of hiding, Negan and Maggie helping Elijah while I help Alyssa. "Lower the knife, cut the rope." Leah orders Daryl.
"Jenson, the leader." She says when Daryl doesn't do as she says.
"Fine." He grunts, letting go of Carver and cutting the ropes bounding his wrists.
Carver blows a kiss to Alyssa and Elijah and I hold onto Alyssa tighter. "Elijah, don't." Maggie says softly to Elijah as he starts limping toward Carver with his scythe out.
"No one moves!" Leah orders. Elijah persists, ignoring Maggie and Leah's orders. "He takes one more step he dies!"
"Josephine!" Elijah yells. "Her name was Josephine."
"Jenson, pull the trigger!" Leah shouts. Before Elijah can do anything to Carver, he falls to the ground at his feet.
Carver scoots the scythe away and goes to kick Elijah but a gunshot slices his thigh, eliciting a scream of pain from him.
"Jenson what the hell?! Jenson!" Leah screams into her walkie.
"Nope. No Jenson here." Gabriel's voice says. "Call me Gabriel. The other two better back off or they're next."
"Stand down." Leah whispers to the other two men as she holds onto Carver. "Your deal still stand?"
"You had your chance. You would've killed us." Maggie says. "Picked us off, one by one, right? Now Gabriel does the same thing to you."
Leah stands, "Maybe you're right. Your friend has the rifle. But I bet we take a couple of you down before he takes us all." Alyssa groans quietly next to me.
"What?" I whisper.
"Just my-my arm wounds." She grunts. I nod and hold onto her tighter.
"You can have your town. We walk. You save your family. I save mine." Leah says.
"Yeah." Daryl agrees. He looks to Maggie for her approval, and she looks to Negan.
"Negan?" She asks.
"You know what I think." He replies before looking at me.
"Y'all know what I think, too." I say, praying they kill these sons of bitches.
Maggie looks back at Leah, "Drop your weapons and go."
"Not without Carver."
"No." Maggie whispers.
Leah hesitates before whispering "Do it." To the other two men. "I said do it." She orders when they hesitate. She crouches next to Carver and says, "I'll see you soon." Before walking away.
"Get up." Daryl orders Carver.
After Maggie whispers to Elijah, she follows after the trio, grabbing her gun. "Maggie, no!" Daryl yells as three gunshots fire. The only noise other than the gunfire is Leah yelping and running away. One more bullet goes into Carver's skull, finally killing him. "The hell was that?" Daryl yells, running after Leah.
Just as Maggie is walking back to the group, Alyssa groans and falls to the ground. My blood runs cold and I crouch next to her, "Woah, what? What's wrong?"
She whimpers and pulls her shirt up, revealing a deep, huge, blood-gushing wound directly in her stomach. I gasp and I can feel my heart seep into my toes. My arms go numb and every scenario I was afraid of creeps back into my mind. "Hey, hey, it's okay. We have medical supplies. You'll be okay." I whisper, stripping my backpack off and reaching into it for bandages.
She grabs my wrist, "You can't. It's too big."
"No," I quickly reply, "Yes I can. I always can. I-"
"Adrian," She groans, tensing from the slightest movement. "It's in an artery." She laughs tearfully, "I'm basically already dead."
I quiet cry breaks through my lips as a deep feeling of dread rises throughout my body. "That's bullshit."
She smiles weakly, "You, me, Negan, all of us know it's true." A tear rolls down her cheek as she cups my face with a bloody hand. "You did what you could."
I cry out, trying desperately hard to keep my composure for her. "No, no, there's more. There's always more, please Alyssa! Let me help you! Please!" I scream, bending down and sobbing on her chest.
She squeezes my hand weakly, "You better find Inejra for me."
My body quivers with another sob, "You can find her yourself! You have to let me help you! PBND! PBN-FUCKING-D!"
She grunts in pain and pushes me away from her so she can look into my eyes. "You know you can't. He carved me like a damn pumpkin." She says, chuckling weakly.
I whimper, "I wasn't supposed to outlive you. I never was supposed to outlive you."
She shakes her head, "Regardless, you did. So you need to promise me you won't end it." My mouth twitches into a frown and a tear drops onto her neck. "Please, Adrian, promise me."
"I..." My voice cracks. "I promise." My voice is so shaky and weak I can barely hear myself.
This wasn't supposed to happen. She's supposed to live forever, she deserves to live forever. I'm the one who's supposed to die painfully, I'm the one who's supposed to be dead!
She nods, "I love you, Adrian. So fucking much." She starts crying once she takes her red hat off. "So much." She puts the hat on me and smiles. "It looks better on you."
I cup her face, smiling weakly once I see her smile. "You're so beautiful, Alyssa. In every way. Nothing can look better on me than it does you." She smiles but doesn't respond, instead, her eyes drift away from mine and I feel her body go limp. "Alyssa?" I croak, shaking her head. "Alyssa! No, no, no, no! Alyssa!" I immediately release her and place my hands on her ribs, starting CPR. My hands are shaking with either fear of my wails, my body doesn't feel like it's attached to me, like I'm playing a game character. The world around me is silent, I can't even hear my screams as Alyssa's body shakes with each pump of CPR.
"Adrian," Negan says gently, putting his hands on my shoulders.
"No! No, goddamn it!" I scream, still trying to bring her back to life.
"She's gone, Adrian." He whispers, slowly pulling me away from her.
"NO! NO SHE'S NOT!" I shove him off of me and put my hands on Alyssa again, to which he tries to grab me again. "SHE CAN'T BE! SHE CAN'T FUCKING BE!" Instead of doing CPR, I grab her and hug her, wailing into her chest. "Please, Alyssa. Please!"
"I'm so sorry," Negan says, rubbing my back.
My sister. My rock. My beautiful Alyssa.
Gone.
Forever.
"My girl," I croak into her chest, squeezing her cold, limp hand. "My beautiful girl." My sobs bounce against the walls around us, slamming around like a trapped bird.
I know what I have to do, but god, I didn't think it would hurt this bad.
I sniff and slowly grab Damien's knife, holding it limply in my head while I stare at Alyssa's closed eyes. Hesitantly, I put the tip of my knife on the side of her head and gently plunge it into her skull, another wail breaking free.
She was the one person who wasn't supposed to die. The one person I had left. And now she's gone.
I don't move from her body as Negan and Maggie help Elijah up, instead, I rip a piece of her shirt off and tie it to the bracelet I made with her.
I slowly reach into my bag to grab something to cover her with, and, instead, I find the drawing she drew of us back at the Atlanta camp before the CDC.
My whole body goes limp as I hold onto this drawing tightly and I fall to the floor, burying my face in my hands and bawling into them.
"I failed you," I whisper. "I fucking failed you."