"Little one, can you wake up for Mumma." Carol said, wanting her to wake up.
River slowly began to wake up, reaching for Carol and snuggling into her body. Wanting to be in her arms and have Carol hold her, rubbing her face in her boobs. Wanting to nurse River pushed her shirt up to get to her boobs.
"You can nurse after dinner Little one." Carol told her, pushing her hands away.
River grumbled and whined at being denied, but when she heard Gary's squeals she understood. Carol moved away and pulled River up in her arms, carrying her over to the dinner table.
"Noes stay wif Mumma." River said, when Carol tried to put her down on the seat.
"Ok Little one." Carol said, sitting down on the chair and adjusting River so her back was against Carol's chest.
Katherine puts their plates in front of them, River sees beans, potato bake and crumbed chicken and everything chopped up for her. River grabbed a fork and fed herself so Carol could eat her dinner too, eating as much as she wanted. Wolfie jumped on the chair and then the dining table and went straight for River's chicken. River grabbed her and she growled at her and hung onto the chicken she stole.
"Naughty Wolfie, you don't get on the table and steal food." River told the growling kitten off and dropping her to the floor.
Wolfie landed on the floor and ate the piece of chicken, ready to jump back on the table. River grabbed some chicken off her plate and gave it to Wolfie, she had enough of her dinner. Putting piece after piece down for Wolfie, who greedily ate it all and growling as she ate. River would have to lock up Wolfie at mealtimes as her feral side would have her jumping on the table after their food. It will take her a while to lose her instinct to grab food and eat it, learning that food is always available, and she won't go hungry.
"Little one, you need to eat your chicken and not give it all to Wolfie." Carol told her, trying to get her to eat more.
"Noes, we iz done and she hungy." River answered, feeding Wolfie the rest of the chicken.
"Ok, Little one, but next time I want you to eat a little more and Wolfie will have to be locked away at mealtimes." Carol told her, letting River get away with not eating enough this time.
"Otay, canz we play with Wolfie now?" River answered, wanting to play with the kitten.
"Yes, Little one." Carol replied, letting her leave the table.
River climbed off Carol's lap and went into the lounge. Grabbing the cat toys to play with Wolfie. Gary started fidgeting as he wanted to play with River and the kitten, but stayed as he could only leave the table when Daddy said he could. Eating his dinner until he had eaten enough for his Daddy to be happy and let him go.
"Ok, you can go Baby boy." Michael said, now that he finished his dinner.
"Tank you Daddy." Gary answered, running over to River.
"Sit ova dere and we rollz the ball for Wolfie." River told Gary, waiting for him to sit, and rolling the ball to him.
Wolfie chased the ball as they rolled the ball back and forth, they giggled as Wolfie chased and attacked the ball.
"You coming to school tomorrow?" Gary asked, hoping she was now that she was staying.
"Yes, but I am only attending art and home economics." River answered, glad she could spend more time in the art room.
"Oh, so I have to go to class alone." Gary replied, not liking that.
"Yes, I will still help you with assignments and we can hang out at recess and lunch." River said, reassuring him they will spend time together.
"I know but would prefer you to be with me in other classes." Gary answered, not yet use to being without her.
"You have to get used to it as I will be leaving in June, and I don't know if you are coming to England then." River said, not knowing what was happening now he was with Michael.
"We are coming to England, but Daddy doesn't know if it is in June or at the end of the year as he wants to protect us." Gary answered, letting her know the plan. "But it really depends on money to pay for trip to England."
"The trip is already paid for us and there will be room for you both at the house." River said, glad he was coming to England liked they planned.
"We only staying until we get our own house, Daddy wants us to be independent from each other and he wants his own space." Gary answered, letting her know they won't be living together.
"Ok, I can help you graduate early." River told him, wanting him ready to leave in June.
"Daddy is helping me as he doesn't trust me to do my own work with you and says I need to understand it myself, that doing it myself will be better for me." Gary answered, rolling his eyes.
"He is right, you should do it yourself and understand it. Are you going to go to university?" River asked, agreeing with Michael.
"I don't know, and I am still thinking about it. Are you going to Oxford in September?" Gary answered, not sure what he wants to tell her what he wants because of money.
"Not this year, I am taking a break from school and figure out what I want to do now I won't be a diplomat." River said, needing space to figure out what she wants.
"Cool, I was thinking about becoming a librarian like Daddy as I like working with him. But we can't afford Oxford and will probably go to another university." Gary answered, already choosing his career path.
"That is awesome, and you know I will be paying for you to go to Oxford, we already have agreed to that." River told him, not understanding why it was an issue. "Doesn't Michael want me to pay for you to go to Oxford?"
"Not really, he is uncomfortable with you paying for it as he is my Daddy and wants to look after me financially. I told him you want to pay for it and don't expect any payment in return. Maybe you could do half and half with him?" Gary answered, looking for a compromise.
"Mmm, how about I pay for Oxford, and he can pay me back an amount each month that he can afford?" River said, giving him an option.
"I will ask Daddy and let you know." Gary answered, liking that idea.
"You do that. Wolfie is getting bored with this, you want to run around with the string?" River replied, seeing Wolfie losing interest.
"Ok." Gary said, getting up and grabbing the string toys.
They ran around the lounge room until they all got tired from running around and River grabbed Wolfie, laying down on the lounge. Gary put the toys away and laid down on the lounge with River. Wolfie cuddled into River and had a wash before falling asleep.
"So, is it everything you hoped for?" River asked, curious if he was really happy.
"Yes, I am very happy, and it is everything I hoped for. I love him very much and he is good for me emotionally and mentally. The sex is good too." Gary answered, reassuring her that he is happy and checking in with her. "Is it the same for you?"
"I am very happy with the sex and being a little, I love them both very much." River replied, very happy with her relationship too.
"But?" Gary asked, knowing there was always a but with River.
"I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy with them and everything that is happening between us. But I just, I don't know. Maybe it is trusting that they won't hurt me and leave me, that it's not going to end. I'm holding a piece of me back just in case and I guess when an undetermined period of time passes of them not hurting me, I can give them all of me." River answered, not really understanding it. "Have you given Michael all of you?"
"Honestly, yes, he loves me, and I trust he loves me. You have shown me what real love looks like and his love is real. Yes, there is a chance he could hurt me and break my heart. However, if I just focus on that, I miss out on all the good things about the relationship and his love. The reward outweighs the risk." Gary told her, hoping she would change her mind.
"I get what you are saying, and you are right." River answered, understanding him and what he was telling her. "I can only give so much of me, and I am giving them all that."
"I know, just be openminded and don't screw it up because you are scared." Gary replied, knowing River.
"I love them too much to do that and only they can hurt me now." River told him, yawning feeling tired and wanted to sleep. "I already tried to ruin it and failed; lesson learnt."
"Have you told them what Miranda did to you?" Gary answered, curious if she told them.
"I've told Mumma some of it, but not that and Mama doesn't know any of it." River said, knowing what he meant.
"You need to tell them and then you can heal." Gary answered, hoping she would tell them and leading by example. "I told Daddy everything and it felt good. He is organising a therapist to help me with it and heal from it."
"Good and I know, I will tell them." River replied, needing more time with it.
"Good because I will destroy you." Gary answered, trying to lighten the mood and yawning too.
They both snuggled up to Wolfie and closed their eyes, falling asleep quickly.
"Well, they are going to sleep tonight." Michael said, watching them run around.
"Yup, but they look so damned cute." Carol answered, enjoying them playing together.
"I am glad that River isn't hiding anymore and embracing little space." Michael replied, happy for them.
"Yes, though not looking forward to them ganging up against us." Katherine said, knowing that they would team up now.
"I fear that too." Michael answered, knowing that was a possibility.
"Oh, we are so screwed when that happens." Carol said, agreeing with them and fearing that day.
"Though I can't fault her as she hasn't been a brat with us, and been wonderful to be around, even in big space." Katherine answered, expecting more brattish behaviour from her.
"This is the real River, she is quiet, gentle, and thoughtful and not who she pretends to be at school. Though don't get me wrong she will be a brat when the mood takes her. This morning, she wanted coffee in little space and if Gary didn't come in, she would have been a brat." Carol told them, knowing who River really is.
"She was probably testing boundaries." Katherine answered, knowing it was natural behaviour for a little to test boundaries. "How is Gary as a little?"
"He is a sweetheart, well behaved and is a great company. Today was the first time he was a brat and disobeyed me by coming here." Michael said, happy with Gary. "I am so glad she decided to stay as he was heartbroken at losing his best friend and fell into a low mood because of it."
"Will you be coming to England?" Carol asked, more for Gary's sake than River's as she hadn't shown any sadness at Gary's absence.
"We will be coming, but I am unsure if it will be in June or at the end of the year and it depends on Gary's grades. I am trying to get him to graduate early, but he is struggling a little and I can see that River has been helping too much." Michael answered, hoping to move to England sooner than the end of the year.
"He has everything in order to graduate in June thanks to River and he has a place at Oxford, which River also organised to allow him to follow her when she moved there." Carol replied, having looked at his records recently. "Is he planning to go to university?"
"Yes, he wants to become a librarian." Michael said, proud of him for his choice. "But I don't think he is ready for it academically."
"No, but to get him to England in June and not the end of the year, we can overlook his inability to pass on his own. We would just need to support him more and tutor him in his courses." Carol answered, thinking more about getting them to England and going from there. "The main goal is to get us all to England and we can live freely with them, nobody knowing our connection to River and Gary."
"I guess we can do that, and I see your point. I'm just worried about Gary being overwhelmed at university. However, he could take a gap year before starting university anyways, we can build up his skills until then." Michael said, not feeling very comfortable with the plan.
"River is taking a gap year to rest and figure out what she wants to do. I think Gary having a gap year too would be good for him too as its all they have known. Also, it hasn't been easy mentally for him, let him focus on getting his mental health ready for further studying." Katherine told him, thinking of his mental health.
Michael could see Katherine's point as he recently learned from Gary about his family history and how River had saved him. His opinion of River changed as he believed in everyone's opinion of her, that she was a troublemaker and a bad influence on Gary. That had influenced his decision to moving over when River did and getting some separation between them. Michael was still worried about River's influence, but not as much now and knew Gary needed her. Though she was an undisciplined little as Katherine and Carol obviously haven't put rules in place to reign her in, made clear by the cat going to school tomorrow. However, he conceded that they were new mummies and were still working things out with River. Carol also had a point with being free to date publicly in England and being here leaves them open to the consequences of the law. That alone was enough to kick him into action and go to England. The only issue is finances, and he wasn't sure he would have enough by June. River would probably cover the cost for Gary, but he felt funny about taking her money as Michael couldn't pay her back and he didn't want to touch Gary's savings. Michael also needed a place to live as they weren't living with River, he explained to Gary about needing their own space and their own home. Thankfully he understood and was happy about that.
"We will see as there is a lot to prepare as I will need a job to go straight into, then find a place for Gary and I and other stuff to think about." Michael answered, having lots to work out.
"We are uncomfortable with the financing as well as River will be covering a lot of things and knowing River, you and Gary are covered too. We have had to get comfortable with River's family paying for everything. But in a way it is good thing, and we can put our finances towards everyday living." Carol said, guessing it was money holding him back.
"Yes, I don't feel comfortable with that and prefer to pay my own way." Michael answered, glad he wasn't the only one worrying about money. "What are the chances of us avoiding being financially helped by River and her family?"
"None, just agree and say thank you." Katherine told him, being honest with him. "I'm sure River would be happy for you to pay for your own place with Gary."
"Mmm, that would be great, and I wouldn't feel like failure to provide for Gary." Michael answered, suspecting that he would have to suck it up.
"You aren't the only one believe me, I prefer to be independent and pay my own way too." Katherine said, feeling the same as him.
"They aren't doing it out of control or to hold something over us, it's their way of showing they support us being with River and we are family as she loves us." Carol answered, reassuring them it was out of kindness and support of them.
Katherine got up and started clearing the table, knowing it was the end of money conversation, and both Carol and Michael helping her. They just must accept it and move on. Katherine checked the time and realised it was getting late, wanting to make their lunches for tomorrow. If River was going to be difficult about going to school tomorrow, they had time to deal with it. Though Katherine doubted it and River had agreed. Also, she was ready to have Carol and River to herself for the rest of the night. Hoping Michael would get the message and leave.
"What would River like to eat tomorrow?" Katherine asked, wanting to prepare their lunches.
"Fruit salad, sandwiches, salad and sometimes we might grab a kebab from the shop. Just ask River what she wants for lunch in the morning." Carol answered, listing some of River's preferences. "On Thursdays she has double home economics, and she eats whatever they cook, if she likes what they cook."
"Yeah, I will just make lunch in the morning. We will have to make up a pack for Wolfie since she will be coming to school with us." Katherine said, guessing that decision had been made by River.
"Yes, I don't fancy the tantrum by saying no and it will make her happy." Carol answered, knowing they were both whipped by River.
"Have you discussed rules with River, it's good to set boundaries and showing who the parent and who is the little." Michael asked, offering his help as they were new parents.
"We talked about a few things last night and I was planning to bring it up again today. I will plan to bring it up tomorrow at school as River will need to be in big space and we won't have distractions." Carol answered, knowing what he was implying.
"If having Wolfie at school will help River being back there, I am happy to let her dictate what will help her and her mental health." Katherine told him, taking offense to him implying they don't have control over River. "It's getting late, and we should get River in bed."
"I should get Gary back home to bed too, thank you for letting us hang out with you and it's been good to see River in little space." Michael answered, understanding he crossed Katherine's boundaries.
Michael went over to Gary and River, who were on the lounge with Wolfie and fast asleep. Michael gently picked up Gary and put him on his hip, Gary wrapped himself around him.
"Goodnight and see you tomorrow." Carol said, walking them to the door.
"Goodnight." Michael answered, leaving to go to his flat.
"She is asleep with Wolfie." Katherine said, putting a blanket over River when Carol walked over.
"We will sleep on the lounge tonight, but tomorrow night we will set a bedtime and sleep in the room." Carol answered, laying down next to River and cuddling her.
"The lounge is comfortable, and River seems to find sleeping here more preferable." Katherine replied, not seeing the big deal. "But if you want to set that boundary, I will support you and I can get my laptop to write rules up."
"Yes, we should give River some structure in little space." Carol said, wanting to put rules in place.
Katherine went over to the storage container and pulled out her laptop, going back to the lounge. She sat down next to Carol as Wolfie had taken up River's side, turning the laptop on and opening a word document making River's rules headline.
"Should we start with bedtime?" Katherine asked, getting a starting point.
"Well, it's 8.30 and River is asleep, so now would be a good bedtime. At least two meals a day, shower every day, naps at 1pm, physical exercise for an hour a day. Do you have any rules you want River to obey?" Carol answered, listing some rules she thought of.
"I want her to talk about her feelings with us, to be kind to herself and tell us one thing a day that is good about her. Do you still want her to have therapy?" Katherine replied, focusing on her mental health.
"Yes, I would. But you as her Mama can't be her therapist." Carol said, wanting her to get help and heal.
"I have a friend that could be her therapist, I can reach out to her." Katherine answered, making a note to call Vita.
"That will be great, could she come to the college?" Carol replied, hoping to keep it private.
"I will ask her, but I can't see a problem with it. I will call her tomorrow and sort something out." Katherine said, knowing she should talk to her best friend about the changes in her life.
"Can she be trusted with our secret, or do we play it safe?" Carol answered, wondering how to approach this.
"I think we should play it safe before I see if it is safe with her. She will be fine as a friend, but as a psychologist she bound by ethics." Katherine said, not sure she could trust her yet. "Will River be fine with that?"
"Yes, River is very private and cautious. She will be suspicious and guarded at first anyways." Carol answered, reassuring her River won't be offended.
"Ok, let's get this list in order to give to Lil wolf tomorrow." Katherine replied, getting tired and wanting sleep.
River's Rules
1. Bedtime at 8.30pm each night.
2. Must eat two healthy meals a day.
3. Naps at 1pm each day.
4. One hour of physical exercise a day.
5. Attend therapy sessions with Vita Smith a week.
6. Talk about your feelings and needs with Mumma and Mama.
7. Say one good thing about yourself a day.
8. Pick one self-care activity to do a day.
· Painting/Drawing/Colouring
· Reading
· Listening to music
· Cooking a meal
9. Spend recess and lunch with Mumma and Mama.
10. Come to Mumma or Mama when feeling little at school.
11. Look after Wolfie by feeding, cleaning up after and shopping for her.
12. Drink one bottle of water a day.
13. Shower every day and other personal cleaning needs.
14. Do the chores Mumma and Mama ask you to do.
· Make bed.
· Put laundry in a basket.
· Clean room
· Vacuuming
15. Be kind and respectful of others despite if you think less of them.
16. No coffee in little space.
17. No spending money without telling Mumma and Mama if it is over $50.
18. Always listen and obey Mumma and Mama.
Rewards
Rewards are earned for completing rules on the list and good behaviour.
· Extended bedtime.
· Junk food one night a week.
· Movie nights or days with Mumma and Mama.
· Play dates with Gary.
· Access to phone, internet, and computer.
· Television time.
· Going to concerts and conventions.
· Weekends at the beach.
· Buy things on wish lists.
Punishments
· Timeout for five minutes.
· Five spanks for serious bad behaviour.
· No television time.
· No access to phone, computer time.
· Writing lines.
· Write an apology letter.
"River is going to hate that last punishment, but I suppose that is the point," Katherine said, writing the last punishment.
"Yup, I think we should agree on what punishments we give River, and the crime fits the punishment," Carol answered, not really into punishments and hoping not to use them.
"Agreed, I'm not a fan either and we will only use them when necessary," Katherine replied, not liking them either. "Hopefully the threat alone will deter River from misbehaving."
"But in saying that I think failure to attend therapy should be punished with the threat of spanking," Carol said, knowing that it was going to be the problem rule.
"Agreed, but I hope she attends because she wants to go for herself," Katherine answered, hoping not to have to spank her.
"I'm hoping that too," Carol replied, wanting it to be a good thing as well. "Alright that is enough, we will bring it up at recess with River."
"Ok. I am sorry about this morning; I didn't think River would miss me that much and have a meltdown." Katherine told her, finally apologising to her for this morning.
"Of course, River would miss you, she loves you and you are her Mama," Carol answered, not believing that Katherine thought she wasn't important to her and reassuring her River loves her.
"I know that now, I just thought it because she is closer to you and has been with you longer," Katherine replied, realising just how much River loved her.
"Big River would have been fine, but little River is a different story, and her insecurities are closer to the surface. River has abandonment and rejection issues; it makes her doubt people's love and the truthfulness of it. Because of that your absence triggered that doubt, your not answering your phone sent it into overdrive and hence the meltdown." Carol told her, explaining why she reacted the way she did.
"A further example of not knowing River, I feel at such a disadvantage at not knowing her and I know it will take time to get to know each other. But I should know things like that, so I don't re-traumatise her." Katherine answered, feeling frustrated by their secrecy.
"If I tell you this, you need to promise that you won't treat her differently and show any pity towards River. She is very proud and hates pity, she is strong and resilient because River has to be and doesn't want people to see her as broken." Carol said, hoping she didn't regret this.
"I promise I won't pity her or look or treat her differently," Katherine answered, reassuring her that nothing will change from knowing River's secrets.
"What Miranda did to River was cruel and malicious. River was Miranda's golden ticket into the royal family, she was destined to marry Lilbet and sire the next generation of royals. River was the centre of her universe, and she loved him with a fierceness bordering on unhealthy. When they found out River was intersex, Miranda's whole world collapsed in her mind and River became her enemy. She sent River back to Australia in shame, leaving her without a second thought and in the care of a nanny. Though the story is Miranda sacrificed her career for her, hence why I told you that at first. So, you can imagine the effect that it had on River, going from being loved to being hated especially when that person was your mother. A person who is supposed to love you, care for you, and protect you. It destroyed River and with the bullying, she became the River you first met. Cold, hard and angry. Though with my influence River has softened and opened herself up. When I first met River, she was like a feral animal, cautious and not trusting and Gary was the only one she tolerated to be near her. It took me six months to get that from her and another six months to see who River really was." Carol told her, helping her to understand River a little better.
"I see and I understand," Katherine answered, trying to process everything she had been told.
It now made sense to Katherine why River was the way she was and what it meant for her to love them, the cost to River. She now knew the trust River was putting in her by letting Katherine love her and River loving her. The implications of being trusted with her heart, even the simple fact that she gave her heart to Katherine and be in her life as her Mama. Her heart ached for River and wanted to take all her pain from what she had experienced. Katherine admired her ability to still care about people, be kind and have empathy. But now she felt a little overwhelmed by the responsibility River had placed on her. However, Katherine knew she wouldn't fail River and disappoint her. Katherine wouldn't be the one to hurt her and would protect River with her last breath.
"She is very special, and I will be careful," Katherine said, not sure what to say.
"I didn't tell you so you could be careful, I told you to understand her and know her love is very real. What she is risking by loving us and letting herself be loved." Carol answered, hoping she wouldn't regret telling her.
"I know, it's a lot to take in and process. But in saying that, I won't fail River and I won't fail you." Katherine replied, reassuring her that she understood.
"I know Kitten," Carol said, pulling her into her arms. "Bedtime Kitten, we will sort this out tomorrow. Night Kitten."
"Night Kitty," Katherine answered, cuddling into Carol.