Author's Note: Minor warnings for Obi-Wan's 101-How-To-Adopt-Your-First-Child-Guidebook. Just don't do any of his Do's. :)
Usually.
Also, I don't think some of the stuff in here is how the Force or the chips work like at all, but I decide. =)))
PS. This is for Day 5 of the Anakin Rarepair Week.
~ Tirana Sorki
"How are the injured?" Anika asks, a light breeze whipping past her as she stands next to Fox outside, overseeing the cleanup. Buildings are still smoking from the Separatist attack on Coruscant. It's the first real battle she's ever been in. And Palpatine was kidnapped. Dooku knows who he is, so it must've been at least partly staged but that didn't stop her fear for him.
"Most of them will make it," Fox replies – a lot of the Coruscant Guard were lost in the attack. They were the main forces here, other than the Jedi, to defend the Republic from losing their own capital.
Anika nods. "That's good."
"What about you?" Fox asks, "You came pretty close to being taken with the Chancellor."
"I'm fine. Still recovering from seeing Grievous, though." She'd barely made it out the door form that general – he's a monster and she would've bene perfectly happy to fight him, but she had to play helpless. She can't wait until she doesn't have to anymore.
She's seventeen now and she's been a Sith apprentice for years. (Doesn't mean she's looking forward to everything she knows actively being a Sith will entail, though.)
"No doubting that," Fox agrees dryly.
Anika's gaze drifts across Coruscant's surface in front of her. There's something... Something's been nagging at her ever since the attack.
The war is supposed to be almost over, even if she doesn't know what Sidious has planned after that. Never asked. It's not her place.
But Dooku was captured when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan went on board the Invisible Hand, and now Obi-Wan's gone to hunt down Grievous. Everything should be wrapping up, but... something feels wrong. Dark. And like it's only going to get worse. To be fair, she has no idea what the end of the war is going to mean for the Jedi, but... Sidious will have to work out something with them, right? He never did say how he intends to... be rid of those who won't cooperate. It wasn't something she needed to know.
Fox's hand touches her shoulder, and she starts slightly, looking up at him. His helmet is off, and she briefly meets his gaze, ignoring the longing that twists in her heart. It's been nearly three years since they first met, and since – But it doesn't matter. Anything more is just a dream. She needs to remember that. At least they can be friends. "Are you alright?"
Anika shakes her head. "I think something's wrong. The war should be almost over but... I don't know. Gut feeling, I guess." She probably shouldn't mention it at all, but... It's still unsettling that Fox remembers nothing of her ability to use the Force. She'd like to know what Sidious did to him, but she's never brought herself to address that again. Sidious rubbed that failure in her face enough times – she's glad no one else has talked about it since, but sometimes she could swear she feels the Jedi's eyes on her, watching, wondering.
Her comm beeps suddenly, a message from Sidious, telling her to come back to the Senate immediately. A prickle of unease runs through her, even if she's not sure why.
"I'll... see you later," she says, ignoring the strange feeling inside of her that when she sees him again, everything is going to be different.
***
Six Jedi Masters stride into Sidious office, expressions stony. They're braced for a fight. Somehow, they found out Sidious was a Sith – was it because of her? Or did someone tell them??? – and they attack them.
Even if it's treason.
Four go for Sidious. Two go for her. They came prepared for them. Because they knew Anika was a Sith too.
But this – this is what Sidious has been preparing for, isn't it? He knew the Jedi would try to take him out. The Jedi are fighting to kill them. She doesn't want to think about Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan or Ahsoka right now. All she can do now is try to stay alive. She doesn't want to kill but she doesn't know if she's even going to have a choice.
Sidious is taking the Jedi down fast, but then Windu suddenly turns to attack her. The others were hard, but he's – he's using her own darkness against her, and she can't fight them all.
She doesn't block Windu's blade fast enough when she's trying to parry someone else's blow. Burning pain explodes in Anika's side and she stumbles back with a cry, as Windu pulls his lightsaber out of her, spinning to block Sidious before he nearly takes his head off with a furious snarl.
She's never seen Sidious quite so angry before.
Anika lands on the floor, a strangled sound escaping her. The world is spinning around her. Everything hurts. It shouldn't be that bad. She's been hurt bad before, but –
The fight fuzzes out in front of her eyes, until she hears the sound of shattering glass, and twists her head to see what's happening.
Windu's the only one still standing, and he's holding his lightsaber over Sidious, who's electrocuting him to keep him from killing him defenseless – but the lightning is deflecting back, electrocuting Sidious.
The Jedi is literally torturing him. Her mind is too fuzzy to feel much, but a mind-numbing horror floods her and closing her eyes, she forces herself to reach out for her fallen lightsaber, throwing it across the room and activating it mid-flight, slashing through Windu's wrist before he can spin to block it. His screams echo over Sidious' cackling as he electrocutes him out the window.
They won. Barely.
The word feels fuzzy in front of her eyes again, until she feels a cool hand touch her forehead.
Sidious is crouched next to her, expression tight as he inspects the wound. His face is horribly scarred – Force, what did Windu do to him?
"Master," Anika rasps, weakly, "I – Sorry." They nearly lost the fight because she let herself get hurt.
"The Jedi will pay for their treachery," he replies icily, standing. Maybe he's upset for her, but it's still unnerving to see him like this.
Sidious stands and she hears him calling for help. The Coruscant Guard show up not long later.
It's Fox who picks her up, surprisingly gently, even if it still jostles the wound in her side enough that she nearly cries out.
Something about him feels wrong but she can't place what it is. Doesn't have the mental space to think about it either. She reaches out to squeeze his free hand when she's certain Sidious isn't watching and he squeezes it back before she blacks out.
***
Something jolts Anika back to consciousness. She shifts quietly on her bed with a quiet groan, twisting to look around her bedroom. She was in bacta tank at the medbay overnight, but they let her go home to recover. She has absolutely no idea what time of day it is now or what's happening, but the Force feels wrong.
Like screaming.
And death.
What happened while she was unconscious???
And something else is wrong, something beyond that. The Force is whispering in warning. Someone's close. Anika pushers herself up, wincing.
Someone's moving around in the apartment, and no one's supposed to be here. The door to her room suddenly opens, and it's –
"Obi-Wan?" Anika breathes, eyes widening, relief washing through her. He's alive. She didn't realize how afraid she was of him dying until now. But what's he doing here? His hood is pulled over his head, and even though he's shielding, his Force presence feels wild. The usual rain sensation it gives her has morphed into an icy storm.
"Anika," Obi-Wan replies, voice icy. He's furious. And... she suddenly doesn't know that it's not at her.
"What are you doing here?" she asks, heart rate picking up a little. They have security cameras here. Sidious will see this. How did Obi-Wan even get in? "You shouldn't be here."
"You knew about this," he accuses steely, glaring.
She draws back, arms curling around herself. That's not – not how she expected him to react to seeing her again. It's so much like how Sidious looks when he's angry. "About what?" she asks, swallowing hard.
"The Jedi. What happened to them. You're a Sith, just like Sidious."
She has no idea what to say to him, doesn't even know what happened. She never wanted to think about what would happen when this point arrived – because she already knew there wasn't a way out of losing Obi-Wan. She just didn't expect him to show up like this. What's he even doing here? "I don't know what... happened to the Jedi. I wasn't there."
His eyes narrow. "Sidious destroyed them. How could you not know?"
Destroyed? That – Is that why there's so much death in the Force? Why – Cautiously Anika reaches out. She can still feel the screams, the darkness. Is that why all the light in the galaxy seems to be gone now? But how did Sidious do that? How is that even possible? She has no idea, but she does know what grounds he could've used for it.
They did commit treason. They were torturing her master.
Of course, he used that as excuse to destroy all of them for an uprising. Maybe he wasn't wrong that that's what they were planning, but that doesn't mean – Force. All the Jedi are gone.
"I didn't know what he was going to do," Anika replies, desperately, "I – He never told me."
"He's the one who trained you in the Force. If you didn't know, you could have said something about his identity years ago."
Her mind is whirling too fast, and she can't think. Doesn't know how to deal with people when they're this angry. Not men, at least. What was she supposed to do, turn on Sidious when he promised to save the galaxy? When merely being in his presence half the time is enough to make her hardly able to breathe? And when he comes back, he's going to sense that Obi-Wan was here. He's an enemy. She – she's supposed to kill him. "You can't be here," Anika says instead, heart pounding, "Leave. Before he comes back. I won't tell him you were here. I –"
... Why did he come here in the first place, actually?
"I can't do that. You're a Sith."
He –
What?
"You're here to –" she chokes off on the sentence, the sinking realization slowly settling over her. There's no other reason he would've come all the way here, risking everything. The fear and hurt swell up instantly.
She stumbles to her feet, without thinking. The movement was too fast and sudden, and she yelps, losing her balance, landing unceremoniously on her knees. Her side is burning furiously, and no thanks to the pain she can't feel much aside from a mind-numbing fear and denial.
He's here to hurt her. She always wanted to be around him because she didn't think he'd be like Sidious. (And she doesn't even understand why he's doing this. Why he would ever – What. If all the Jedi are gone, she can understand his anger, but it wasn't her who did it. Who had anything to do with it. He's family to her, the one person she always looked up to like no one else, but she doesn't know that that even matters to him.)
She flinches when she hears him approaching, blinking away the tears suddenly stinging her eyes.
"Anika?" He sounds confused, and maybe a little worried. Maybe. (When is anyone actually worried about her?) "What's wrong?"
She can't bring herself to look up from the floor. "Windu, he –"
"You did fight the Jedi then."
The note is accusing, and she wants to scream. "He was going to kill me!" she snaps back, even if it doesn't come out half as heated as she intended.
She doesn't want to look up, but – finally she does anyway, because she needs to know if – if –
Obi-Wan's standing above her, still unmoving, but then he crouches in front of her. She shifts away from him, seeing the lingering anger in his eyes, even if he's not lashing out. Yet. It's always a yet. (It's not even fair for her to feel so upset about it when he's the one who lost everyone in the Order, everyone he ever knew. What happened to Ahsoka or Qui-Gon???)
"I didn't know what he was going to do," she blurts, "I didn't – Then the Jedi attacked us, and I didn't have time to ask anything."
"He was the one behind the war, wasn't he? How could you have expected anything else?"
As if everything in the galaxy is somehow Sidious' fault? "He was trying to stabilize the Senate's mess," she retorts, cutting off in a quiet hiss when pain runs through her side again. It's starting to feel wet. That's not good. She must've torn the wound open somehow. "You need to go, before he comes back."
(Because even if he's here to hurt her, to – to end her, she can't let him die. What's he going to do if he does leave, though? He's going to help the surviving Jedi start another never-ending war? But she can't just...)
Obi-Wan glances furtively around the room before he reaches for her. She flinches back instinctively, but he almost awkwardly slips his arms around her, lifting her into his arms.
"What – what are you doing –"
(The last person to carry her was her mother, and that was years ago. She shouldn't miss as much as she does, but she misses feeling protected and cared for, and... That's not why Obi-Wan is doing this, but it's still...She misses what it's like to have a parent.)
He stands, moving for the door. "I'm not going to leave you here," he replies, shortly.
... What?! "You can't take me." What is he even thinking? She squirms around, half a mind to jolt away from him or lash out with the Force, but – (Maybe there's a wild part of her that doesn't want to, because – because.)
To be fair, she can't fight him without making a scene and risking getting security called and getting him killed, and she – she can't do that. Even if she can't just let him kidnap her either.
"I'm not leaving you with the Sith. Quiet or someone will hear you."
... Who said she doesn't want someone to hear her?
He's doing this instead of... killing her, isn't he? Because she's too dangerous to be left with the Sith? She doesn't want to deal with the million things that come with being a Sith in the open, but that doesn't mean –
He apparently took the ridiculous risk of landing his ship nearby, because he manages to make it back there without anyone catching them. Somehow. There are probably some cameras that did in fact pick up on him. He leaves her on a bench in the hold before he goes to the cockpit to take off.
She must be a little bit out of her mind right now because she doesn't know why she's not trying to stop him. Maybe it's just that – that –
Her family is the clones and the few Jedi she cares about. Not – not Sidious. But he's the one offering to help the galaxy. That's what she needs to be focusing on. Not whatever it is she wants when she's only half sure herself.
That's enough to fuel her to move again, and she clambers to her feet, limping painfully to the cockpit.
... Maybe she wouldn't be able to escape after all, even if she was trying.
She freezes at the back of the cockpit when she sees the Temple on the horizon. A column of smoke is rising from it. It must be still burning. Who attacked the Temple??? The only force strong enough would've been... the clones. She suddenly feels cold all over.
Fox.
Where is he? Is he okay?
"I cannot believe you made the trek all the way in here when you can't even walk," Obi-Wan says, shortly.
"I'm not letting you take me." She grips the back of the copilot's seat, trying to ignore the way her stomach flips uneasily. She needs to sit down. Her side hurts.
There's something about the way he turns to look at her that sends a chill through her. Maybe it's just the sharp iciness of his gaze. "And you'd prefer to go back to Sidious, and support what he's become?"
"This isn't about him." It's not like she has any desire to go back to Sidious and tell him she got herself kidnapped by a Jedi she was unable to stop. Especially when he always emphasizes how she has the potential to the strongest Force user, that she can do anything with the Force if she actually tries, but she chooses to be... weak, as he always says. "It's – it's about the galaxy. I can't leave everything. And the clones –"
"They're the ones who did this," Obi-Wan retorts.
She guessed that, but it's so much more real to hear. She can't imagine – Well, she can because it's not like the Jedi were overly nice to them, and they were just following orders, but... How many clones were lost in this, too? "They had orders," she protests, weakly. "They were taught never to disobey that." But she can't imagine all of them would've listened. Not...
"And that justifies killing every last Jedi, even the younglings?"
The clones are children, too.
Not that that really helps. Just... she can't imagine it. Force, did they shoot Ahsoka down? Did they – No, she can't imagine that.
She's such a pathetic Sith because she's supposed to be supporting Sidious without question, not just feeling physically ill that the Sith plan of a thousand years is finally come into play. She didn't know it was going to go this far.
All that sounds like useless excuses, though. Obi-Wan's the one who lost literally everything, if all the Jedi are gone. She remembers every bit of the crushing grief after her mother died, and...
Obi-Wan pulls the lever to send them into hyperspace before standing. "Listen, I'm not asking you to stay here. I took you so you wouldn't become what Sidious is trying to make you."
It shouldn't sting so much when she already knew that. (At least he didn't kill her. Or hurt her. Yet.) She's not here of her own choice, and she'd have to fight him if she wants to get out. She doesn't want to do that. But she can't ditch everything, either. Maybe when her mind isn't so muddled from pain, she'll be able to approach this reasonably.
Some of the iciness from his expression seems to fade, when he seems to finally take in – well, maybe the way she's hardly able to stand right now. "I don't believe you should be standing right now. What happened?"
Anika takes a step away from him. "I got stabbed. Nothing of significance."
"That's nothing of significance?"
"I've had worse," she defends. Like when she crashed while pod racing. And it's not like it wasn't a Jedi who did this to her. Legally, she can't say at least the Council members didn't... have coming what happened, even if –
Obi-Wan touches her shoulder, far more gently than she expected, as he steers her back to the hold, and she practically drops onto the bench. Glancing down, she can see a spot of blood starting to grow on her side.
Oops?
"I can deal with... this," he offers.
The offer throws her entirely, and she's instantly inclined to object, because she doesn't think she should trust him for that, but she... nods instead, rolling onto her side, and pulling up the edge of the top of her nightdress so he can see the wound.
The area around it is still red and inflamed, as is the.... indentation from the stab wound that's thankfully no longer burned black, but the state it's in isn't much better.
He collects medical supplies from... somewhere, crouching next to her to treat it. (The gentleness of it isn't something Sidious ever gives her. But she's... afraid to believe it's genuine, after... But if he really planned to kill her in the first place, why would he be doing this at all?)
"I don't suppose these... electric burns are from that fight," Obi-Wan states, more than asks.
The electric burns that crisscross her skin nearly everywhere, though they're healing. "They're from before."
Obi-Wan's gaze jumps to her face, though meeting his eyes is far from easy so she looks away. "From Sidious?"
She nods slightly. "And before that."
"He electrocuted you?" Obi-Wan repeats, traces of anger back in his voice again.
"He didn't do it to hurt me –"
"Why are you defending him?"
"He's my father."
"That only makes it worse," he replies, bluntly. "You know, if you had mentioned what he was like, what he was doing, I could have done something to get you away from him."
Her stomach flips at the mere prospect of trying. It's good to know that now but she's not sure she can truly believe it. Can't imagine even risking trying and having to face Sidious if they could do nothing. It's not like the Jedi could just kidnap the Supreme Chancellor's daughter.
"How? He's the Chancellor," she throws back, "You couldn't just take me. Even now, he's going to come after me. You're putting yourself in danger needlessly. This isn't going to stop him."
"Then he'll have to show up in person."
You're an idiot. She doesn't say it out loud because it doesn't much feel like she has the right to banter with him right now. Not after... staying silent as his people were destroyed.
But there's something she needs to know. Even if she's afraid of it. "Did you tell him about – about the – when I used the Force," she blurts finally. It sounds stupid to ask out loud, but she's been wondering ceaselessly for the last one and a half years.
Obi-Wan's eyes her but she stubbornly looks away. "No, but I had to mention it to the Council. I could tell you were... afraid, but there wasn't time to press for details." And you never even asked why? She thinks a little bitterly. And then you tell me I should have told you? But that's not even fair, because it's not like he had any way to know. "I believe Windu may have gone to ask him about it."
She shouldn't feel so betrayed, but she can't help it. At least it wasn't Obi-Wan, but he still told someone.
Obi-Wan touches her arm, something worried in his gaze. "Did he hurt you for that?"
It's stupid to be so upset about that when he's the one who lost everything. Not that that chases away the uncontrolled panic that always floods her when she has to deal with her master, and she can't well let go of the fact that it was because of him that Sidious found out. "... Not really."
"Not really?" Obi-Wan repeats.
"It doesn't matter." She wants to talk about it, but it's too engrained that she can't talk about Sidious. And she's too afraid he'll somehow find out whatever she says.
Obi-Wan reaches up, hand lightly touching her forehead, brushing her curls out of her face. It melts something inside of her, and she blinks away the tears stinging her eyes. "It does matter if he hurt you."
No, it doesn't. It never has.
Why is he being nice in the first place?
"I'm sorry I never did anything to stop this," she mumbles, trying and failing to blink away the tears. She has no idea whose side she's supposed to be on. She wants to help, but sometimes it feels like ever since becoming a Sith, she's become more confused on what that means.
Obi-Wan seems uncertain what to say to that, but he nods, stepping back – she's unreasonably disappointed by that. "You should rest."
She doesn't have the presence of mind to ask where they're going before she falls asleep.
***
Anika doesn't wake up until they're already getting to their destination. But the last thing she's expecting when she steps off the ramp of the ship is... Tatooine.
The planet felt familiar, but she didn't realize until she's standing out in the familiar Tatooine desert, a light breeze whirling the sand around her feet, with the sun beating down on her.
The ship is landed outside a cave, and... what really freezes her is the people who are standing right in the entranceway.
Ahsoka and Qui-Gon.
Neither of them looks good, but they're alive. Force, they're alive. It's nearly enough to make her cry, seeing them. (She's such a pathetic Sith, but she won't begin getting into that right now.)
"Ahsoka?" Anika breathes, taking a few slightly wobbly steps towards her. The stab wound isn't hurting much, but it's still exhausting her.
"Anika?" Ahsoka asks, eyes widening.
"What is she doing here?" Qui-Gon asks, frowning.
"I couldn't leave her with the Chancellor," Obi-Wan replies.
"So you kidnapped her," Qui-Gon says, flatly. He does not seem happy, even if he doesn't look angry either.
Obi-Wan looks the closest to sullen Anika's ever seen him, and it's almost comical. "You know what Master Yoda said to do," he protests.
Qui-Gon sighs. "Yes, I do. There's a reason I didn't get involved. Take the ship to town and dispose of it. Anika, you... should come inside."
Obi-Wan heads back to the ship, and Anika goes inside, a little reluctantly. The cave... has a few things lying here and there, and it looks like they just moved into the small space.
But this is Tatooine. The place where her mother died. The place she hoped she'd never have to see again. "Why are we here?"
"Hiding," Ahsoka replies. There's a childish anger in her eyes, and – Obviously, she must know what Anika is.
"Are you alright?" Qui-Gon asks.
Anika blinks, taken back. "Yeah. I... Are you?"
"The entire Order's gone," Ahsoka burst out. She spins around, stalking across the cave.
Anika's gaze follows her, swallowing hard. How she's going to repair this, she has no idea.
Especially when she doesn't even know what... side she's supposed to be on.
"Come," Qui-Gon requests, touching her shoulder, guiding her outside.
She looks at him expectantly. "What?"
"I was there when the Jedi talked about what they were going to do. I have long questioned if the path the Jedi are on is the right one, and I believe their destruction was inevitable, even if I cannot agree with what the Sith are doing on any level. I don't know where you stand on these matters, but that choice is yours. Despite what Obi-Wan may have said or done to you, I do not condone keeping you here by force if you want to leave."
That... was not what she expected.
She can leave?
She should jump at the opportunity to walk out, back to Sidious while she still can. But – "I didn't know what Sidious was going to do. I want to help, but I don't know how." It was simple when she was young. Now, it's so complicated.
"The Force will guide you, if that's what you desire."
Why is a Jedi saying that to a Sith? She's never really talked to Qui-Gon before, but he's nicer than she expected. "What – what exactly happened when the Jedi were destroyed?"
Qui-Gon's expression shadows over. He's hurting too, even if it's not nearly as visible. "I was up on the cruiser with Ahsoka. I heard a transmission that said 'Execute Order 66' and then they all turned on us."
"Even Ahsoka?" Anika breathes.
"Everyone. There was something about them that seemed different after."
"Different?" she repeats, uncertainly.
"Robotic. Almost mindless. Violent. Something changed in them at those words. Perhaps they always knew what those words were to mean. I do not know."
Sidious wiped Fox's memory once. Is there something more going on with the clones than she's ever noticed? Is he doing something to them? She can see how many of the clones wouldn't hesitate at that kind of order, but something about it... doesn't seem right.
This is why she can't stay out here, but she's scared to go back. Scared of what it'll mean, of what Sidious will demand of her. But she has to decide something fast.
"My master will come for me, but I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should help go back and try to help or – or what. I can't stay out here forever."
"I cannot tell you what the right choice in this circumstance is," Qui-Gon tells her, "But the Force will give the answer to any who asks for it." She appreciates being given a choice, but she has no idea how to react to someone telling her she's able to make a choice in the first place. Right now is the time she'd rather be told what to do, so she doesn't have to make a terrifying decision on her own.
"How did you... find out who Sidious was?"
"When Dooku was arrested, told us," he replies, something pained in his gaze.
Did Dooku die at the Temple? She doesn't ask, but his grief certainly indicates as much.
"I need to go to town for food," he says, finally, "But I must know that Ahsoka will be safe if I leave her here with you."
As if she could ever do something to Ahsoka, but it's a fair concern. Anika looks up, letting him see the... sincerity. "She will be. She is... the closest thing I have to a sister." (As much as she might want her an apprentice – because it's the only way she can truly have her – she doesn't know if she could truly... be the kind of master that she'd have to be, as a Sith. She can't hurt Ahsoka. Sidious always tells her that he's only doing it to help her and maybe he's not wrong, but then she thinks of Shmi and her gentleness, and she doesn't know anymore.)
Qui-Gon nods. "Thank you. And remember, whatever choice you make, you are more than what Sidious taught you. You don't have to follow the same path. There is always room to be better."
She stares at him, struck speechless again. Maybe she could make a choice if she wasn't too afraid to.
The memory of her mother telling her the sun dragon story whispers in her mind, suddenly. That promise that her heart is strong as the sun dragon's, that she can go anywhere it wants to take her if she's trying. Sidious always told her she needs him to be anything, but maybe – Still, she can't imagine doing anything other than what Sidious has told her. Maybe she can if she stays here. But the Jedi aren't all right either, are they? And the clones... She's so lost.
She silently watches Qui-Gon go before, reentering the cave. Ahsoka's sulking in the corner, glaring when Anika approaches her. She doesn't want to start a conversation that she knows is going to go badly, but she can see how much Ahsoka is hurting, and she can't ignore it.
"What's wrong with you?" Ahsoka demands angrily, eyes glimmering with tears, "I thought you were nice. Why were you pretending if you were just gonna kill everyone???"
Anika blinks away her own tears, ignoring the sting. Sidious is wrong about what he did. There's no question about that. "I know this only sounds like an excuse, but Sidious never told me he would go that far."
"Then why would you stay with him?!" Ahsoka yells, "How can you be a Sith?" She starts crying before Anika can come up with a reply. There's nothing she can say, anyway.
Except... what? Promise her that she'll avenge those who were lost? Promise to turn against Sidious? She doesn't know if she can, but she knows with more certainty than she's ever felt before that she can't go back to Sidious. Even if that mere decision is more terrifying than anything she's ever tried to do before. Maybe... it's a good thing that Obi-Wan made it for her.
"I'm sorry," she says, quietly. (The least she can do is be glad that Ahsoka will never have to know what it's like to not be able to say no, to live in constant fear of her master. She doesn't need to try explaining that to her.)
Ahsoka sniffles, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.
Something nudges sharply at Anika's mental shields. She can feel Sidious' slippery, oily presence demanding to be let in, demanding an answer on where she is. Her blood runs cold. No. No. She can't give this away, and if she resists –
She's inclined to give in instantly because that's what she always does, but she can't. Especially not taking one look at Ahsoka.
The memory of the sun dragon legend flits through her mind again, and she pushes Sidious back, tightening her shields so he can't see anything with her permission. At least she's strong enough in the Force to forcibly keep him out of her head if she doesn't want him there, even if she's never done it before. Always too afraid to. She doesn't have the right to resist him like that.
She can't believe she's doing this. Her heart is hammering wildly, and –
"Anika?" Ahsoka asks, frowning.
She opens her eyes, doesn't remember when she closed them, but her heart is still pounding. Sidious isn't stopping. Stop it. Go away. She struggles against him, no matter how terrified she is, no matter how much she just wants to give in and give him what he wants, especially when she can feel how furious he is suddenly. This is bad. Very bad. He's not gonna let her get away with this, and if he gets to her again, he'll – Not that it matters, because it's too late to make any other decision. She doesn't want to make any other decision. But.
She has no idea how long it's been when Sidious' presence finally recedes from her mind. Hopefully he didn't see anything of importance.
"Anika?" Ahsoka repeats again, "What's... wrong?" Her face is still streaked with tears, and it hurts.
"Sidious wants me to come back. I didn't let him see where I am. I'm not going to let him hurt you, Ahsoka."
She bites down on her lip, anger and fear warring in her eyes. "Why didn't you stop him before?"
"I didn't know what he was doing. I only ever wanted to help, and that's what he told me we would do."
"But Sith are evil."
No use disputing that point. She's too little to understand, and she's seeing this in black and white. "All I knew was that the Jedi attacked him and me before I knew what was happening. I was unconscious when it... happened. I didn't know until after. That's... why I'm here now. I know it won't bring back anyone you lost, and I am... sorry."
Ahsoka falls quiet, looking sullen. But she's eyeing Anika's side now. "You're hurt?"
"A little. It's not bad." Anika leans closer, lightly touching her shoulder. She'd do anything to make her feel better. And anything to distract herself from the mind-numbing terror at the thought of Sidious coming to find her, of what he'll do to her if he does. It wouldn't be so bad if Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were here. Maybe.
Ahsoka moves forwards unexpectedly, clambering into her lap. She winces when the Togruta's tiny arms nearly hit the wound, but Anika adjusts her position so it... doesn't hurt too much. Ahsoka's sniffling again, and she's not going to deny her the comfort she needs. Anika leans forwards, lightly resting her chin between the tips of Ahsoka's montrals, and just holds her.
She has no idea how long it's been – it was already late in the day when they got here, but it's dusk when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan return together. Ahsoka is sleeping in her arms, and the two Jedi Masters exchange mildly surprised looks at the sight.
Anika shrugs a shoulder. The darkness outside the cave is ominous and she keeps half expecting Sidious to show up suddenly.
"Let her sleep," Qui-Gon advises, bending down to carefully extract Ahsoka from Anika's grasp to lay her down. She stirs a little, but quickly falls asleep again. She must be exhausted to be sleeping that soundly. As if that's a surprise.
"You should be, too," Obi-Wan tells her.
(It makes that warmth and desperation simultaneously swell inside of her, with how much she wants someone to take care of her the same way she was Ahsoka.) She's not up to having a conversation about Sidious tonight, anyway. Anika nods, moving to lay down next to Ahsoka. The conversation can wait until morning. It's not like her master could find her that fast. Right?
***
Anika doesn't know what woke her, but something's wrong. The Force whispers in warning, as it always does before something's about to happen. The cave is dark, and she doesn't hear anything, except...
Wait.
Yes, she does.
The faint drone of an approaching ship.
No ship should be out here. Oh no. Sidious isn't anywhere nearby, but someone is. Anika struggles to her feet, stumbling for the entrance. If someone's here after her, she can't drag the others into this.
She can't help wondering if Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon sleeping closest to the entrance was intentional, because both stir when she's trying to step around them. "What are you doing?" Obi-Wan demands, already half sitting up.
She feels sick. She doesn't want to face this alone, whatever it is, but she's not selfish enough to endanger them, and definitely not childish enough to ask them to hold her hand. "Something's coming. Stay in here. If – if it's for me, I'll deal with it. You don't need to get yourself dragged into it."
"Anika –"
Qui-Gon lays a hand on his shoulder, a silent communication seeming to pass between them. "We'll come if you need it," he promises, and Obi-Wan looks grumpy but doesn't argue.
"Thank you," she breathes, heart still pounding as she steps into the cool night air, walking a short distance away from the cave. Overhead, a ship is flying in.
A Republic ship. The clones. Reaching out with the Force, she senses them instantly. They have a distinct feel in the Force. But one stands out most of all.
Fox is here. Sidious sent them here, didn't he? This isn't coincidence. But how did he find her??? How could he have located her so quickly??? He didn't see anything in her mind, did he?
She keeps moving away from the cave. Hopefully, that'll be enough to keep the clones from searching the area. If they're just here to pick her up, then... they shouldn't. But – She doesn't want to go back. She can't get the clones in trouble for not completing their mission, but she can't go back to Sidious. She can't. Even if she doesn't want to walk away from Fox either. He's her friend. She can't just leave him. That's why she has no idea what she's supposed to do now.
Except wait as the ship lands.
Fox comes off the ramp alone, but something about him feels wrong. He feels cold in a way she can't really explain, and just something... off.
"Ma'am," he greets. The title freezes her. Why is he being so formal? He got comfortable with using her name years ago unless they have an audience. "Are you alright? What happened? The Emperor sent us to find you. He said you had been captured." The concern in his voice is genuine, but something's wrong with him.
She hesitates. "Fox, this isn't what it looks like."
"What do you mean?"
Touching him lightly with the Force, she can tell something's definitely wrong in his brain. He's not himself. None of the clones on the ship are, either. Sidious had to have done something to them, like Qui-Gon said. But what? Could she change it, with the Force? It wouldn't hurt to at least try. Especially if that's connected with whatever Sidious did to Fox's memory. "I... I know this is against everything you've been... taught, but can you hear me out?"
Fox pauses. She can feel his frown, even through his helmet. "What?"
"I can't support the... how far things went against the Jedi." (Windu was practically torturing her master. She certainly can't support that either.)
"They were traitors." His voice is curt, almost sharp. He doesn't talk like that to her. Ever.
"Maybe, but not all of them. Not the youngest ones. They didn't even know about it. This is wrong, Fox, even if we both have orders otherwise."
"They're still traitors by orders from the Emperor. And anyone who aids them is also a traitor." The words feel too pointed, but there's no way Fox knows she's out here with Jedi. "I'm here to bring you home. Why are you out here?"
"I – I wasn't captured," she objects, heart hammering. How does she play this? "I left because I couldn't agree with what... happened. He's doing something to your brothers, Fox. And to you. I don't know what it is, but it's –" She sounds like an idiot. She wishes what she knew about this wasn't mere guesswork. What she can sense in the Force is real, though. Their minds are... not normal.
"Orders are orders. I still have to take you back." No hesitation, no gentleness or questions. Anything. It's so unlike Fox.
"Fox..." Anika takes a few steps closer, until she's standing right in front of him. "Remember what you told me how you don't remember things sometimes? I know that's because of whatever Sidious has been doing to you." The Force whispers that it's true, and she has no idea what to think of that. She knows Sidious has done countless awful things, but confirmation is worse. Maybe that's the only thing that's giving her the tiniest bit of courage to do any of this. It's not for herself. "And that's not right."
Fox hesitates. "That has no bearing on our orders. The Emperor said not to delay in returning you."
Anger surges up hot and tight in her chest. Did he send Fox here intentionally to use against her? "Before I go, can I at least... see if I'm right? You haven't... felt like this before, have you?" He feels angry, constant and unending, even at her, and it makes her want to back away, but this is Fox. He's not an adult. Not really. Technically, he's younger than her. They're friends.
There's a long pause. "How would you?" he asks finally.
"The Force. I can... If you're alright with it." It feels invasive, and she doesn't know if he's agreeing because she's asking or because he wants it. But in this state, she doesn't think he'd follow orders from her when she's talking treason. He seems angry at her for it, even if he's not outright lashing out.
"Alright," he concedes, finally.
Anika nods, reaching out with the Force to carefully touch his mind. She can feel the way his emotions are running wild, but beyond that, when she's looking, she can tell that there's a... center to it. Something that's making him feel like that. It doesn't feel natural, but it's not of the Dark Side either. It's something physically affecting him that wasn't before.
She doesn't remember closing her eyes, but she can practically envision the... whatever it is in his mind. It's something in his brain, though she can't say what. But she can wrap the Force around it, sending calming waves through the Force to quiet down whatever it is. It doesn't react instantly, but she keeps it up. She hasn't used something of light and calm in so long.
Ahsoka showed her how to meditate the Jedi way once when they were fooling around.
"You look silly pretending," the Togruta had giggled.
Anika had tried to smother the guilt. "I'll never be able to do it like the Jedi, but it doesn't hurt to know how, does it?" she'd replied.
She thinks of little Ahsoka, who didn't deserve any of this, who needs someone to care for her.
She thinks of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, and how much she wants to – to feel cared for by them. Of how much she cares for them, even if she doesn't know them well.
And she thinks of Fox and the rest of the clones, and how much they deserve better.
Whatever's wrong with Fox is quieting rapidly, and when she opens her eyes again, he feels... normal somehow.
... She had no idea she could do that with the Force.
Fox seems a little shaken, and she hastily steps forwards, touching his arm. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I? I –"
"No, it's alright." His hand lands almost roughly on top of hers, squeezing it lightly.
"What...?" He's upset, hurting about something, and she has no idea what. But it's not anger anymore.
"You were right," he says, slowly, "About him... doing something to us. I think. It felt like me, but you – whatever you did, I remember some things that I didn't before." He seems to be feeling almost uncomfortable, but he doesn't stop talking.
That's possible? She... wasn't trying to heal him? Did she do that by accident somehow?
"Vague flashes of things, most of it's still gone, but I... remember when you used the Force. I think the Chancellor asked me about it. I don't remember that part."
Her stomach flips. Of course he did. After everything Sidious did for her, it feels wrong to be doing what she is, but wiping Fox' memory and mind-controlling the clones is something she can never forgive him for. Nothing can twist that into being right. "That's okay. Him hearing about it wasn't your fault. Why... You said it wasn't the first time. Do you remember anything about why he... did that before? If he did? You don't have to tell me –"
His grip on her hand tightens a little. But most of all, she can feel a wild swirl of grief and guilt. She has a very bad feeling about that. "I don't recall much of the previous incident, but there was... One of my brothers saw something in his office. I don't know what it was or why it was important. I – if he's able to do this, I don't know why he didn't just... erase his memory, but he had me... kill him. Under orders. I couldn't refuse. He made me forget after. I don't remember how that... didn't get out." He sounds half desperate, like he's trying to get it out of his head even if he doesn't want to mention a word of it.
What?!
Sidious – what?
How could he –
She should probably be more shocked than she is. But really, she isn't. How has Fox been hurt so much without her even realizing? "I'm sorry I never noticed any of this before," she breathes, "I'm not going to let people keep hurting you like this. You or your brothers. You deserve to be free, and I'm not going to stop until all of you are."
Even if she has no idea where to start.
Maybe it's partly being back on Tatooine, but being here again, she remembers how her dream was always to free the slaves. Maybe she never had the chance to free her mother, but she does have the chance to free the clones. If this is the first true choice she gets to make in her entire life, it's what she's going to do, no matter how terrifying it is to decide something of her own.
"How would you... do that?" Fox asks. She knows he wants to be free. She's felt it on him so strongly before even if he would never voice it because he was brainwashed to believe he's meant to be a thing.
"It'll mean action against the Empire. I know it's against everything you were taught, and I won't ask you to be involved in it if you don't want to be, but I... I must do this." The Force is with her more strongly than it is anyone else. It'll help her. She'll find a way. "And you're... already out here. You don't have to go back, Fox, if you don't want to."
The conflict she can sense warring inside of him is expected. "You're asking me to desert?"
"I'm giving you the chance to be free. You don't owe anything to the Empire if it's giving you nothing in return."
"I... can't leave all my brothers," Fox says, finally.
She can entirely understand that. "You don't have to, but... I can talk to the ones here. I'm sure they want to leave as much as you. We can start freeing others." She's probably getting way ahead of herself, but her mind is whirling now that she's thinking about it.
"How would we... do that? You know what you're saying, Anika. This would be a Rebellion."
But he wants it. He's just too scared to do it himself. Just like she used to be. Still is. maybe. But she can't stop. "I'll find a way. There has to be a way we don't have to do this alone."
Which is how she ends up on the ship with Fox, trying to convince the others that committing treason is a very good idea. That's a hard thing to do when they're being mind-controlled but at least she's able to talk them into letting her help deactivate whatever's going on in their brains in the first place.
Delving deeply into the Force, touching all their minds at once is overwhelming, but it's worth it. Getting them to admit how much they want out after that isn't hard.
But that's when another thought suddenly occurs to Anika. "How did you know I was here?" she asks.
Fox stills. "Sidious was tracking you. He was telling us where to go."
She frowns. "Tracking?"
"He sent us to the exact location. Can this... Force be used for that?"
Anika shakes her head, breath coming in shakily. No. That's not possible. But that means... how could Sidious have a tracking device on her??? That's not possible. It shouldn't be, unless – It's certainly not on her, which only means one thing. It has to be in her.
Which means...
She would know if it was there. The only way she wouldn't is if...
Sidious told her he was going to take out her slave chip. She was sedated during the operation. She never saw the removed chip. Sidious told her he it discarded. Was that a lie? Did he put a tracking beacon in her instead? Like she's some kind of –
Definitely slave, if he was willing to go that far. It wasn't for her safety. It was to – to control her.
She's been bitter at him before, but never quite this angry. But if he has a tracker in her, he's going to come here next if Fox doesn't come back. Fear rapidly builds in her chest – there's nowhere she can escape him unless she gets it out. That's what she needs to do, first.
"Anika?" Fox's voice breaks through her thoughts, "Are you alright?"
She shakes her head, heart pounding. Sidious could be on his way now. He could be – Force. She can't face him again. "I know how he's tracking me. It's in me. I have to get it out before we go anywhere."
"Inside of you?" Fox repeats, "How would you suggest we move that?"
"It's still nighttime. We could get into a medical facility here to get it out." Yes, she's talking about breaking into somewhere. So what? "While we're there, we can see what... he physically had done to you, if you want." There has to be something in his brain, but she can't imagine what. "We'll have to go in on foot. Or... I will if you're alright with that."
"I'm coming with you," Fox replies, firmly.
She nods, gratitude flaring through her. (Is the chance of having something else with him quite so far out of reach now that she's away from Sidious? She squashes the thought as quickly as it comes. Now's not the time to think about that. She doesn't even know if it's what Fox would want, and she won't mention it. She doesn't want him to feel pressured.)
But before sneaking into the city, she needs to tell the others. Letting the clones know there's Jedi here probably isn't a good idea yet.
Closing her eyes, Anika reaches out with the Force. Her bond with Obi-Wan is strongest, and though she's never actively tried reaching for him, she concentrates on reaching for him, nudging his mind. It takes concentration, but she can do it. She feels Obi-Wan reaching back a moment later, sending her a questioning nudge. He's worried.
"I have to take care of something. I'll be back," she tries to tell him.
She can sense Obi-Wan's reluctant, so she adds "there's no other choice." before pulling back.
She needs to hurry and get back to the cave, so she can warn them to leave. Now that she's left, she can't go back to Sidious. Ever. She doesn't think there's any thought that terrifies her more than that.
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