Aveline was so tired she could feel every cell in her body screaming and crying for her to rest. She was the point she wasn't even sure what she was doing, she just knew she had to keep going.
"Another lap! LETS GO!"
She was at an outdoor field with her auror academy peers, including James, Sirius and Marlene. So far, Moody had been hollering at them to run lap after lap, as if they were some show dogs.
The bandages on Aveline's back were caked with sweat, to the point they began to slip and sting her ripped skin. There was only so much healing potions could do for a magical wound.
Aveline was meters behind her classmates, her lungs burning head feeling light as she willed each of her feet to keep going.
From ahead of her she spotted one of the girls collapsing to the ground in exhaustion. Aveline could feel Madeyes eye watching her carefully— waiting for her to the next one the collapse. She merely gritted her teeth and kept going.
Not today Madeye.
When Aveline finally finished her lap, the rest of her classmates had been waiting for her. Sipping water out of plastic bottles and catching their breathe as she took her last couple steps.
"Nice of you to join us Rosier," Madeye gritted as he ticked off something on the clip board gripped in his hands .
Auror training was known for being ruthless. The fraction of people who actually made it to the end of training was minimal.
Aveline was beginning to realize why as she placed her hands on her hips, trying to ignore the throbbing in her back as she took deep breathes.
James and Sirius had wandered over to her. They were both sweaty themselves, in there black t-shirts and shorts, though nothing compared to the sweat dripping down Aveline's face, matting her curly hair.
"You good?" Sirius confirmed, passing her a bottle of water.
She couldn't find the breath to speak, merely nodding her head as she grabbed the bottle with a shaky hand.
Was this all really worth it?
Her mind flashed to how peaceful life would be doing anything else. She could sleep in. She could rest.
How much did she really want this?
She thought of life as an auror— the exhaustion, the stress.
The only thing she ever dreamed about was peace. Finding it in the crevices of a warm home and the safety of a delicate and fulfilling career.
Yet here she was— supposedly by a choice made by her own free will— driving her life in a direction that was anything but that.
Free will— she was beginning to wonder if the concept really did exist, or it was merely an illusion of choice.
Yes she signed the papers that contracted her to the auror academy, but did she really choose this life ?
"Alright let's do that one more time."
________
A hand wrapped around Aveline's arm, as another found the small of her back, next thing she knew she was hitting the ground with a thud that knocked the wind out of her chest.
At least the ground was padded this time.
They were currently in one of the training obstacle courses, which in other words were basically rooms where trained auror's got to throw the trainees around like they were bags of rice.
In todays training session, the trainees were blindfolded and supposed to defend themselves from attackers with nothing more than four senses and intuition.
By the sounds of the many thuds and groans around her, Aveline wasn't the only one being thrown around like a rag doll.
If Aveline was any less prideful, she would've stayed laying on the mat until she caught her breathe. The girl however was as stubborn as they come, so with aching and shaky limbs she stood up.
She was so done being pushed around today.
She forced herself to breathe in and out slowly, the way she imagined a tree might. With each intake of air her body calmed down.
She could sense it before the touch even came. A prinkly feeling down her spine that told her danger was soon to touch.
The girl reacted with quickness as if she was tree that suddenly morphed into a snake. Her body ripped around, her elbow connected with someone's chest as she heard the person let out a groan.
Her knee was next, finding the attackers stomach before they hunched over and her foot found their face. An arm around the neck later, the person was on the floor.
Aveline wasn't even sure where these instincts were coming from, but as she get another presence behind her, it took less then ten seconds to have them on the floor, laid out in pain.
It came like a tornado after that— a person to her, a person to her right— and still she stayed grounded, attacking with a mixture of magic spewing out of her hands and physical force.
Truthfully, she wasn't even aware she was channeling her magic. The girl solely focused on the feeling of motion swirling through her body like an unbounded body of water— endlessly flowing through her fingertips like she was mother earth.
She was not even aware of the small crowd of people gathering around her, or that her feet had left the ground as her body raised itself to the sky ever so sligtly. No one did anything but watch, as any of the aurors that dared go near here were laying on the ground in front of her, cluthing their heads in pain.
When she finally did come out of her haze her feet hit the ground with a thud— the girl stumbling back as she clutched her stomach. Her eyes quickly scanned the scene infront of her. She opened her mouth to explain herself but coudn't string together a singular syllable.
"Take a 15 minute break" Moody barked at the gathered ground. "LEAVE."
The crowd dispersed like scared cats, leaving only Madeye and Aveline. The girl tried to follow her peers, thinking she could sneak out without him nog noticing only for her to bark her name like she was a reckless toddler wandering out into traffic.
There was no getting out of it, so she merely stood there will his freaky eye studied her, moving over her face as if he was trying to disect her.
Finally, her marched over to her, grabbing her by the arm harshly and dragging her out of the room so fast she was certain he was trying to rip her arm out her socket.
He didn't say anything well he dragged her down the hall and out the back door, ignoring he slight grimances in pain.
Aveline felt the harshness of a cold brick wall hit her back, Madeye pinning her to the wall with his forearm. She squirmed, half tempted to punch the man square in the jaw but swallowed back the urge.
"What the hell Madeye?" Aveline hissed, and was about to bring a hand up to push him away but he blocked her with an agile move.
"Never do that again," his tone was low and more serious then Aveline had ever heard. "Do you understand me Rosier. Never again."
She gulped, avoiding his eyes, not wanting to admit that she hadn't exactly meant to do that. Certainly if she confessed such a sin she would've been cast out of the auror academy faster then she could blink.
She was starting to think maybe it was for the best, perhaps she could get a job at a book store like Remus— anywhere. Guilt krept through her body like an unruly infection, was she any better then her mother? Then her father? Then anyone else who shared her blood and last name.
"I'm sorry—" she finally managed to squeek out, her voice sounding as weak as a mouse.
"Pfft" Madeye blew her off with a shake of his head, finally taking a step back. "Blow people up for all I care. But if Bagnold or Rufus get a whiff of this? Your toast."
Aveline managed to nod, massaging her neck to try to force words out her throat. The alley was cold and damp, despite it being the dead of the summer heat. It made her feel like she was a sickly rat or spider hiding in the shadows.
"Madeye maybe the auror academy is not right for me," Aveline started, feeling panic rise in her chest.
These past couple days have been too much.
Too much of everything.
The scars on her back were burning more and more with each breathe, her legs feeling as if her muscles were not fully connected to her brain and that they would abandon her any second and she'd clatter to the ground.
She was exhausted on the body level. She was certain if a bed were to appear out of thing air right now, she'd falll asleep for a centruy and wake up nothing but bones and brittle. Certainly it should've been humanly possible to be this exhuasted. Tears were daring to spill from her eyes, but she fought them back like a dam.
Her mind kept wandering to Rosier mansion at its stupid cold marble floors, and the look on Regulus's face as he saw her.
"Don't be an idiot," Madeye huffed. "Your too talented to be wasted on some dead end desk job. Clean yourself up and be back in ten."
The girl tried to nod, but clearly her nod was not very convincing. His mechanical eye could not miss the glitter of water in her eye.
The man sighed as if the sight slighly pissed him off, "Look kid, you've got a couple weeks to go. Your gonna be fine. You've made it this far, and this is the worst part of it all."
He walked away and Aveline felt herself sink to the cold concrete ground, her head finding her hands as she choked back a sob spilling from her chest.
____
Aveline had never been so happy to finally arrive home, immediately running to the bathroom to change the itchy bandage that was currently burning her skin
The thing about magical wounds (especially those dervied by werwolves) is there was no amount of potions or spellwork that could make them better. Thus Aveline was stuck with buggle bandages and a strange ointment that Lily gave her, to try to take the burning sensation away. It had been days since the incident, but her back was still hot as if it had just happened.
The pain was so intense sometimes she felt herself wince if her shirt moved the wrong way.
Nothing though, was worse then knowing this was the pain a little Remus Lupin dealt with at just five years old.
"Ave? Are you in there?"
A knock on the bathroom door caused her to jump, the sound her Remus's voice taking her out of focus.
"Sorry," she immediately began. "I'll be out in a minute.'
"Are you okay?" He contunied.
There was something about the boys voice that still to this day made her melt. It was warm like a mug of steaming tea drowned in soft honey, it was invinting like a soft blanket straight out the dryer on a warm day. It travelled through her ears and into her brain like it was pure melatonin. She was certain if she was drowning his voice alone could pull her out of the depths of the ocean, guidining her like a lighthouse in a dark night.
He knew her so well it only took her hestiation and deep breathe to know the answer was no.
Slowly, he creeped the door open, hestaintly eyeing her through the mirror as if he was asking permission to come in.
Remus slept over most days, which was something Aveline never did object. She had gotten so used to having his warm body to sleep next too, her bed felt cold without him.
"Ave," he said softly, stepping in the bathroom and closing the door behind him.
His actions were always so delicate, odd for such a tall man.
She felt the touch of his lips on her head as his hands found her arms, standing behind her in the mirror.
"Can I help?" he asked, his hands gently moving against her skin.
Part of her wanted to say no, but her arms ached from trying to tie the bandaids herself, so she nodded her head and let him take the fabric from her hands.
There was more hestiation in her that she would've liked to admit. Logically, she knew there was nothing to be ashsamed of and this was Remus Lupin of all people — the sweetest person to ever come into her life— but as his eyes scanned her back she felt herself wanting to crawl under a rock. It couldn't have been an attrative sight.
"Its fine I'll just do it—" she started, and went to turn around to grab the bandage from him only to be stopped by the feeling of his hands lightly grabbing her hips in place.
"Just let me help hm?" he whispered to her softly, placing another kiss on the top of her head. "I promise I'll make it quick."
His hands moved across her body so softly she could barely feel his touch. In the mirror she watched his eyebrows knit in focus as he gently placed the ointment to her skin, and wrapped the bandage around her like a seasoned pro.
As she watched all she could think was that one day, this man would be an amazing father.
"All done," he stated, a little pleased expression on his face.
For a moment he didn't move his hands from her body. The two just staring at eachother in the mirror, reflections of green and brown eyes meeting in a different dimension.
There relationship had been feeling different lately, and Aveline could not quite pin place when it shifted. But suddenly they were spending nights together in her appointment and planning breakfasts together and waking eachother up with kisses on the forehead and sharing toothpaste.
Never in her life did Aveline think she would get here with anyone, let alone Remus lupin.
As she watched