Back at Alexandria, we're constantly dealing with herds of Walkers. Nothing we haven't dealt with before but this time, it's odd. Herds don't normally just appear, not any that I've seen, that is. But, instead of me worrying about the Walkers, I have to worry about Beatrice. She's come down with some sort of flu or something, and it's bad. She's throwing up every meal I've given her and is constantly dehydrated because of it. She doesn't want to go to the infirmary because it makes her nervous but without a doctor on hand at all times, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
I'm positioned next to her on the couch, re-wrapping the handle of my whip as she reads a picture book with only a few words next to me.
"Adrian?" She starts, groggily.
"What?" I ask, turning away from my book and looking at her.
"What's this word?" She points to a word under a picture of a spider that I'm honestly surprised is in a kid's book.
"Lethal."
"What's that mean?" She asks, pinching her eyebrows together and tilting her head.
"Deadly."
Her eyebrows raise and she looks at the brown spider on the page again, "It looks too small to be bad."
I shrug, "Sometimes the smaller ones are the most deadly."
She smiles, "So you think I could be deadly?"
I chuckle and close my book, positioning myself on the couch so my back is on the armrest, making me face her. "Oh, I'm sure you could. They don't want me to train you because you're 'too young', though."
She frowns, "Just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm not able to do that stuff."
I scoff and nod, "You're right. But, having a childhood is important."
She nods in understanding, "What was your childhood like?"
I sigh, "It was fine, I guess. I was an only child until Alyssa was born when I was thirteen. It was just a normal life, not havin' to deal with Walkers or shit like that."
"Do you miss how life was before?"
I pause for a second, thinking about her question. The logical response would be yes, obviously. But honestly, I don't think I do. Yes, the apocalypse sucks ass but there's so much out here for me than there was when the world was normal. "No." I finally admit, staring off into the distance behind Beatrice. I wouldn't have met Damien. And Damien wouldn't have met Cato.
Sometimes I wish I never met Damien or reconnected with Cato. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have to deal with the pain of losing them.
"Alyssa told me about zoos," Beatrice says, smiling. "They had whole buildings full of bugs. With a whole farm full of ants!"
I smirk, "An ant farm isn't a farm with ants. That's just what they call it."
She looks at me confusedly, "Why?"
I shrug, "They just wanted to, dunno."
"But farms are bigger than that. Right? They're like whole plots of land. My daddy and I stayed at one until..."
I quickly begin speaking again to get the memory of watching her father die out of her head, "I think they call it that because the ants each have their own jobs-"
She smiles again and seemingly forgets about the ant-farm, farm-for-ants debate. "Did you know ants have their living room to relax in and take care of the baby ants? Also- baby ants are called Larva."
I did know that. Both of those facts.
"No, that's so cool." I lie, setting my book behind me on the side table.
She nods quickly, "Mhm! And-" Her words get cut off with a knock on the door. I groan quietly and climb off the couch, making my way to the door.
When I open the door, Aaron is standing on my porch, the setting sun behind him. "We need your help. The Walkers are bad. They're at the walls now."
I sigh and rub my face with my hand, "Damn it." I glance at Beatrice who's reading her The Backyard Bug book. "Beatrice, I need to go help the group with the herd. You're gonna have to stay in the infirmary for a little bit."
Her eyes widen in fear, "No, Adrian, please don't." She pleads, her chin quivering as she sets her book next to her.
I push my lips in a thin line and say, "I'll be right there. Wait here." to Aaron. Leaving the door open, I walk over to Beatrice and stand in front of her. "I would rather you not puke your guts up alone. Siddiq'll be there, he knows to stay with you when you're there. You like Siddiq."
She stares at me with glossy eyes, "But...Adrian...people are dying in there."
I sigh and nod, "Mhm, but, remember how we said smaller things are more lethal? How can you be lethal like that...spider-"
"Brown Recluse."
"Yeah, the Brown Recluse, how can you be lethal like that if you're not brave like it, too?"
She pauses and looks at her book. Finally, she whispers, "Can I bring my book?"
I nod, "Yeah, sure."
When we walk out of the house, I watch as Beatrice knocks politely on the infirmary door, even though she doesn't have to knock, and gets greeted by Siddiq.
"Oh, hi, Bea. What's up?"
She frowns, "Adrian has to go help with the Walkers. She said to-" Her words get cut off with a gross ass cough.
Aaron looks at me as we walk to the gates, "You sure you don't want to take care of her?"
I roll my eyes, "Yes."
He shrugs, "You're a pretty good mom if you ask me."
I scoff, "Thanks for the words of affirmation." My eyes widen at the unholy amount of Walkers reaching into the gate of Alexandria. "Fuck,"
Two days later, after non-stop hours of killing Walkers. After a few breaks to take a drink and one or two food breaks but no sleep, all of the Walkers are finally dead.
"Adrian!" Beatrice announces, jumping off of her bed that Siddiq was sitting next to and running over to me. "It's been two days!"
Siddiq walks over to us, "I practically had to hold her down yesterday at lunch."
Beatrice side-eyes him, "You weren't very good at it."
He and I chuckle and he says, "I'll work on it then."
"Did you finish your book?" I ask, pointing to her now four books in her arms, not counting the one she had before.
She nods, "When I finished it, Siddiq walked me to the house to pick out a few more." He nods and pats her shoulder, half-smiling at me.
I open my mouth to respond but Alyssa appears from behind me, "Council meeting. Now."
I groan and throw my head back, "Fuckin' damn it."
"Do I still have to stay here?" Beatrice whines.
I nod, "Not for long. Just until the council meeting is over, okay?" She sighs and looks at her feet, nodding. I nod goodbye to her and Siddiq and I follow Alyssa to the church for the meeting; Beatrice of course had some words to say about Siddiq leaving but another kid at the infirmary quickly distracted her. It's usually not a good sign, a random council meeting. We haven't had one in a hot minute with all of Alexandria there, so, I think there's something to do with the Whisperers.
"Alright!" Michonne announces to the chattering group as I take my spot. "Is this your mother?"
"No," Lydia assures us, sitting up straighter. "I don't think it is."
"Why's she want to talk with us?" Daryl asks.
"You crossed into her land. Again. You have to answer for that." Lydia says.
"We don't have to do sh-anything. We could just not go." Aaron interjects.
"That's a bad idea." Lydia says.
"We're already under attack." Scoffs Dante, a new doctor as of a few months ago. The rest of the group agrees with him, shouting "yeah" in an annoying synchronization.
Lydia pushes, "It isn't her. If she wanted you dead, she'd send the horde. All of it; not just a few waves at a time."
"Maybe she's trying to wear us out." Carol thinks aloud.
"Or, as I relayed to you at the beginning," Eugene starts, standing up. "There's plausible reason to believe the satellite and fire-"
"I don't want to hear about the damn satellite anymore, Eugene!" Margo interupts him.
"Do not speak to him like that." I hiss, glaring at her. She tilts her head at me and rolls her eyes, pissing me off further. But, I need to be civil if I'm a part of the council now.
"Put a sock in it, Savior Golding." She grunts, leaning forward.
Nick's last name.
The church was already silent, but it just got quieter. It seems like the animals, Walkers, bugs, and weather are holding their breath in anticipation for me to do something. Nobody, and I mean, nobody speaks his name, especially when I'm around. It wasn't an assigned rule, but it's a rule. I clench my jaw and ball my hands into tight fists under the table.
I push my tongue onto my bottom lip and exhale deeply, trying so damn hard not to flip this fucking table. But, with enough strength to lift a car, I unclench my fists and jaw, relax into my seat, and motion for Margo. I'll get her later.
Everyone's stunned, a collective breath being released. Alyssa nods at me but I pay no mind to her, just death glaring Margo until she speaks again.
She pauses before saying, "My friends died trying to save yours and ended up with their heads on spikes." She then abruptly stands up, "The Highway Men want justice!" Everyone collectively agrees with her, shouting "Yeah!" once again. "So all I want to hear from you is that you're gonna take a dozen of us to meet these freaks at the border and that we're gonna take that lead bitch's head off!" Once again, grabbing another "Yeah!" from the rest of the group.
Gage, a teenager, then stands up as well. "We cut it off, and then put their heads on spikes!" Resulting in the group in front of us shouting angrily and excitedly.
Just then, Siddiq stands up with a fist on his chest, whispering something to Michonne then leaving the church.
Shit. PTSD.
Michonne stands up calmly and the chatter slows to a stop. "How many Walkers did you see in Alpha's horde?" She asks.
"Tens of thousands." Daryl answers.
"Ah. So..." She turns back to Margo. "What's your plan for taking them out?"Margo sits there awkwardly like a fucking idiot. "Oh, that wasn't rhetorical." Michonne pushes.
"I don't have one." Margo finally responds.
"Ah. Does anybody else?" Michonne yells to the group. "If she sends that horde, that's it! Right now, all she wants to do is talk. And we are going to listen. Now, while we are doing that, everyone here needs to focus on what's coming in from the north and the south." Noticing her loud, angry tone, Michonne sighs and collects her thoughts. "We're tired. We are on edge. And it is going to get worse before it gets better. But, we aren't gonna get through it at all if we do not act as one."
She turns to Gabriel, "We're going." She says, then turning back to the group. "Dismissed." Quickly, the rest of the group leaves though, Michonne motions to Daryl, Carol, and me to stay. By proxy, knowing it has something to do with Alpha, Alyssa, and Inejra stay as well; which Michonne is fine with.
Michonne lays a map on the council table, "Three objectives means three groups. Gabriel will take point in guarding the gate from the northern wave, while Aaron will take some troops, breaking up the southern wave before it hits the wall. That leaves us, and the border."
"Unarmed." Daryl says.
"You're really going in there unarmed?" Carol asks.
"We got no choice." Daryl replies, grabbing his crossbow and walking out.
Alyssa and Inejra look at Michonne, "We're going." Inejra grunts.
Michonne sighs, "You don't want to."
Inejra scoffs while Alyssa just rolls her eyes. "You don't know what we want." Without further arguments, Michonne nods a hesitant nod, knowing they're not gonna stop until they come with us.
By nightfall, we made it to the border. To the stakes where I found Damien and Cato. Alyssa and Inejra's eyes widen at the sight of the dried blood on their pikes- the last two on the left. I don't look up, I just continue looking at my feet until everyone stops at the stakes and drops their weapons. "You fuckin' serious?" Alyssa mumbles, dropping Carl's knife and her gun.
I can't move my eyes away from Damien and Cato's stakes and the dried blood on them. Alyssa puts her hand on my shoulder and half-smiles a teary smile. "He was really proud of you, Adrian." My chin quivers and I nod, looking at her but avoiding seeing her red hat. Damien's red hat. Though I don't respond, I'll break down if I do.
A few minutes later, Daryl says, "Heads up," pointing to an oncoming herd. Alpha approaches the stakes after taking her mask off, bending forward in a "trying to be threatening" way. Alyssa grasps Inejra's wrist at the sight of her, obviously trying incredibly hard not to pounce and to make sure Inejra doesn't as well. "There was one rule between our people." She starts, eyeing all of us. "One law. Stay where you are. Yet you disobey."
"That fire would've destroyed your land." Daryl tells her.
"Fire's nature to burn. We have no conflict with nature."
"It could've wiped out one of our communities. We were not gonna sit back and let that happen. You can understand that. We crossed one time." Michonne says.
"Three times." Oh shit. "During the fire, you walked my land. And during the winter storm, you walked my land. During the search along the river, you and the man with the metal arm walked my land. That's three times. We are always watching." She then approaches the stakes once again, getting achingly close. "What did I tell you about crossing my border? You have to be punished."
Just as she says that, the skins behind her grab their knives and I tense, glancing at Alyssa and Inejra. "But-" Alpha says quickly, putting her hands out. "I consider context. There will be no bloodshed this time."
"Then what do you want?" I ask through gritted teeth.
"Land." Alpha says, eyeing all of us. "The creek that winds into the valley, that is your new southern border. We will mark the new border to the north."
"That cuts off our hunting grounds." Inejra says, looking at Alyssa and me and then to the rest of the group.
"Inejra's right." Carol agrees. "We don't have to stand here and listen to this-"
"Carol!" Michonne yells, silencing Carol.
"'To this'...what?" Alpha asks, slowly approaching Carol but staying behind the border.
"To this bullshit." Carol hisses.
"That's it. Come on. We're done. Let's go." Daryl says quickly, motioning for the rest of the group to follow him as he walks away.
"We're not." Alpha says calmly. When everyone turns back around, she says, "Not until this one lowers her eyes to my feet." Then, she interlocks her fingers and waits as Carol stares her directly in the eyes. "You should fear me." She whispers.
"I don't. I look at you and I feel nothing at all." Carol says.
"Is that right? The blonde boy...screamed your name just before we took his head." Oh shit. Then, out of nowhere, Carol grabs a hidden gun and shoots but Michonne grabs her arm, diverting the bullet to the ground.
"Stop. Stop!" Daryl orders Carol as he holds her back.
"I apologize for my friend." Michonne whispers to Alpha in a shaky voice. "We have not slept. And you know what she lost."
Alpha quickly looks to Carol, who is still fighting Daryl's grasp. "I forgive you. Mother to mother." She then grabs Henry's pike and says, "This is my land now. You better run."
Alyssa begins to say something but before she can make a sound, I cup her mouth and back away with her. "We're runnin'." I whisper in her ear, motioning for Inejra to follow. Inejra grabs our weapons from the ground and follows Alyssa and I as we jog away with the rest of the group.
After we've set up camp in the woods for the night, a gunshot from the distance catches our attention. All of us quickly get up and race toward the sound. Once we get there, Carol is standing back up. "What happened?" Daryl asks.
"Whisperers. Three of them." Carol pants, pointing.
"Walkies on. Split up, north," Michonne says, pointing to a trio. "West." She points to another trio. "We'll take east. Capture, do not kill!"
A little over an hour later, we stopped so Michonne can speak into her walkie. She comes back to our group. "No sign of them anywhere. No traces, no tracks, nothing." She looks at Carol. "Sure you saw three?"
"Yeah. I'm sure."
"Carol...how long you been taking those pills for?"
"Since I got back. It's fine, they're like coffee. We can't stay out here."
"Alright, we'll find a place with walls. Hole up a while. Get some sleep." Daryl says.
"Oh thank god, I can feel my brain fucking eating itself." Inejra groans.
A little bit later, after we've regrouped, we find an old elementary school. Once we do our Walker rounds, we decide to stay in an art room. But, before I lay down, I look for a science room.
"Bingo." I whisper, grabbing a picture frame with a bunch of dead bugs pinned to the white background. I grab the remaining two, one has butterflies, one has spiders, and one has beetles (Beatrice's favorite), and I shove them in my backpack.
"What are you doing?" Inejra asks, standing in the doorframe.
I jump and turn to her, sighing when I see her. "Shit, dude, learn how to be less stealthy, Jesus."
She scoffs, "Gotta be able to sneak around Gabriel to smoke a cigarette."
I raise an eyebrow, "How long you been smokin'?"
She shrugs, "Since we got to Alexandria."
I roll my eyes with a smirk, "I'm sure he's thrilled."
"He doesn't know...yet. I think he would sacrifice me to God." She says, walking through the science room and approaching me. Inejra points to my backpack, "Those for Bea?"
I nod, "Yeah, I figured she'd like them."
"Dunno if I've ever seen a child so enthused about bugs."
I scoff and hop on the science table behind me, almost knocking over a shitty clay sculpture of a DNA strand. "Me neither but, everyone has their things I guess."
Inejra jumps on the table in front of mine and rests her hands behind her, holding her torso up. "Why do you try to fight being Beatrice's mom? Maybe not mom but...you know."
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, slouching. "I just..."
"It's hard for you to believe anyone would trust you to have a kid?" Inejra asks, finishing my sentence.
"Dick." I mumble.
She scoffs, "That's how my mom was when she had my older brother, Tanner." I straighten up. Inejra has never told anyone her backstory, other than Alyssa. Not even Damien.
"You had an older brother?"
She nods, "He was nineteen when the fall happened. My little brother was..." She sighs and looks at her feet.
"'Nej you don't-"
"No...I know you've been dying to know." I don't respond, I shouldn't lie and say no. She looks back up at me, "He was four. My um...my family left together. My little brother, Liam, died only two weeks in and Tanner died trying to save him." She hesitates, her lip quivering as she avoids my eye contact. "We were staying in a library but we hadn't checked the basement for Walkers. When we got down there, there was a whole herd of them. Maybe over a hundred. Maybe a little less. Liam got pulled in immediately and Tanner jumped in after him. I could-" Her voice cracks and she starts crying and shaking her head. "I could hear their screams as my parents dragged me up the steps."
I can practically feel my heart shatter under my ribcage. My eyes soften and I shake my head, "Fuck." I whisper. But, before I continue, Inejra begins again.
"It drove my parents mad." She looks up at me. "Mad. They..." She sniffs and inhales deeply. "We ran out of food and they didn't know how to hunt."
I'm scared for this next part.
"Instead of training themselves to, they," She looks at me, obviously not wanting to say exactly what she wants to. "There were chunks taken out of their arms. They didn't want to resort to eating me so...they chose to eat themselves instead." My eyes widen. Holy fuck. "I was always too scared to do it too, I mean...why the fuck would I? But then that wasn't working. And..." through thick and thin", right? They took that oath...they couldn't break it just to keep me alive."
"When I was sleeping one night, I felt a weird presence over me. When I looked up, I saw my dad standing over me with a machete. He-he had both his hands on the handles and he was holding it over his head, ready to stab it into my heart." She looks up at me with wide eyes. "His daughter!" She cries out, her voice cracking and breaking. "I managed to roll to the right just as he lowered it. I had always kept a secret knife under my pillow and used it to cut the Achilles tendon on his heel. While he was on the ground, I fought my mom."
She continues solemnly, "I got them both down, my mom had broken ankles and a stab wound to the gut, and my dad's thighs were all cut up. I opened the door to the basement, set a time where they were...and left them there." She looks up at me in horror. "I left them there! Maybe they weren't gonna-"
"Inejra," I start, jumping off of the table and putting my hands on her biceps. "You did what you had to do. Kill or be killed, remember? No matter what."
She sniffs and nods, "I left my parents to die. The people who gave me life."
"And the people who were gonna take it away!" I sigh and lower my voice to a normal volume again. "Our brains have a way of fuckin' us up after a major death. The what if's. 'Never say shoulda', woulda', coulda'.' It's what my mom used to say. Regardless of whether you think they didn't deserve it or not, they did. Every bit of it, 'Nej."
Her lip quivers and she nods, "I don't know why I never told you. I knew you wouldn't think I was fucking insane for leaving them for dead." She says, wiping her nose.
I chuckle, "I've done worse."