It was early in the morning when Jeff woke up. Thinking about what the woman had told him the night before, he felt a huge weight on his chest. He paced back and forth throughout the apartment trying to think about what to do.
It was impossible...it couldn't happen to him of all people...it couldn't...but if it had really happened...he couldn't just sit around and hope for luck...he couldn't do nothing....
He was not hungry that morning; he grabbed his jacket, wallet, and cell phone and went out into the street. He had to do something...at least know if it was true or not. Maybe it was all his imagination, maybe it was really just a virus and he was worrying about nothing. Yes, it couldn't be real...soon he would know for sure and he would be making fun of himself about how stupid he had been to believe such a thing...he could already see himself in front of the TV laughing at himself after finding out that he had gone to all that trouble for nothing.
He decided to head to the clinic he usually went to when he was sick. It was never too crowded and there was no need to make appointments. He didn't want to rely on a simple test he found at the pharmacy, sometimes they gave wrong results, and he wanted to be sure of what was happening to him.
It was a medium-sized facility, several offices and clinics and a few labs for tests. A lady in her 50s was sitting at the reception desk and smiled at him.
-Hi, how can I help you?-
-Hello, well...I need to do some blood tests...I don't have any appointments...I don't know if it's a problem...-
-No problem, we don't have many reservations for these tests today, I should still have a few spots. In the meantime wait here, as soon as the doctor is ready he will call you to discuss about it-
-Thanks- Jeff sat down in the waiting room. There were only a handful of people there. Absolute silence. He then decided to pick up his cell phone and start playing games to pass the time.
-Hello are you the one who asked about blood tests?-a man in a white coat much taller than him approached.
-Yes, I am- Jeff replied.
-Please come this way- the man smiled at him.
Jeff followed him.
-So, you're lucky we haven't had many reservations today. What kind of analysis do you need?-
Jeff was speechless for a moment. He had come there on purpose, but having to say out loud what he needed made him feel more than a little ashamed.
-Here...I would like to know if...analysis for...-
-No need to fret, rest assured-
-A few weeks ago I went through my heat with an alpha and...I would like to make sure that...-
-A pregnancy test?-
Jeff merely nodded embarrassedly.
-Okay, no problem, it will be quick. You'll have the answer in a couple of hours. In the meantime, have you had any symptoms in the last few days?-
-A little nausea but I think it's just a virus, right?-
-Well, it won't take long to find out-.
The doctor proceeded with the blood sample, had him sign some papers and fill out some forms.
-Perfect, we are done. You can go back to the other room. I will call you as soon as the results are ready-
Jeff couldn't sit still. How long would it take the results to arrive? Meanwhile, more people kept arriving, and the clinic was starting to fill up. There was no reason for it, but he felt watched, almost judged, as if those people might know why he was there.
He was only shaken from his thoughts by the lady in the secretary's office who called his name and told him to go back to the doctor's office.
-Jeff, right?-
-Yes- he said impatiently as he sat down in front of the doctor.
-So the results just came back from the lab. From what it says, the test came back positive, congratulations- the doctor smiled at him.
No...it was not possible...there had to be an error....
Jeff did not answer, just looked him straight in the eye for long moments. Terror began to set in above everything else.
-No...it is wrong...the test must be wrong...- he began to say.
-It is impossible for it to be wrong, aren't you happy?- the doctor did not understand. Usually, couples who came to his office were happy at that news, especially the omegas who could finally start a family. Why then did he seem terrified just at the idea?
-No...please you have to retake the test...it's wrong...-
-It's not wrong- the doctor tried to reassure him-why don't you talk to your alpha about it? I'm sure it's great news to receive now, but I assure you he will soon be happy at the idea-
-No...I can't...I don't want to...there must be a way...I don't want to, what can I do?- he asked him on the verge of tears.
-Ehm...maybe it's too early to talk about it, you should process it first. You just got the news and already you're talking to me about abortion...-
-a medicine...an operation...whatever you want, but I can't have it...-
-You know I can't do it unless I talk to your alpha first, right?
-What?! Why?!-
-It's the law, without the alpha's consent, I can't do anything-.
-It's a stupid law, what kind of law is this!-
-Please calm down, do you want me to call someone, I don't know...a family member or a friend?-
-I don't need anyone and I can decide for myself what to do, no need for an alpha or anyone else!-
-I understand your point of view, but I would get into trouble, I can't help you. I'm sorry but I have to ask you to leave, I have other patients to see-
Jeff was shocked. What kind of place was that if he could not even decide for himself just because he was an omega!
He got up and ran out of the clinic. It couldn't be...he couldn't...what was he going to do now? The only solution according to that doctor was to take either Jesse or Charlie there to sign off on the procedure, but he could not tell either of them. He began to walk aimlessly lost in his thoughts. There had to be a solution...there had to be.
He walked into a café, ordered a coffee, and looked up on his cell phone. Everywhere was written the same thing the doctor had told him: omegas could not make that decision on their own and there needed to be consent from an alpha or caregiver of the omega.
Jeff threw his cell phone on the coffee table and rested his head on it.
-Here's your coffee- a girl approached.
-Thanks...- Jeff lifted his head from the table. He was tremendously tired of the whole thing; what was he going to do? Ask Charlie? He was his brother, maybe he would help him...what if he didn't...what if he criticized and hated him for the rest of his life?
After finishing his coffee, he went back to his cell phone to look for clinics that maybe didn't necessarily abide by that rule. He knew it was illegal as a thing to do, but maybe if he begged them enough they would decide to make a break from the rule....
He called several and they all gave him the same answer: NO.
By now he was giving up to the fact he had no way out. After more than two hours, however, he arrived at the site of another clinic. He had not considered it before because it was out of town and did not give much information. He knew that it was not safe to trust organizations that did not have proper websites and especially did not publish any information about their services. He found almost nothing on the Internet about that clinic except for a few positive comments that had most likely been posted by the agency itself. There was a phone number and little else, no social media, no information about the doctors who worked there, nothing even about the services they offered. He decided to give it a try. If that didn't work, he didn't know what to do next.
On the second ring, a man answered. Jeff explained the situation and in response got nothing clear, only that it would be better to talk in person at the clinic. Jeff did not think twice and made an appointment for the following day.
He got there in about two hours by taking the train and then a cab. It was out of town in a place that was not very safe. The structure on the outside looked like it was about to fall apart but the inside was well done and clean. He was greeted by a smiling lady.
-Hello-
-Hello, I made an appointment for today-
-Yes, of course, this way-
A doctor was waiting for him in another room. He was also very nice, but Jeff couldn't completely trust those people. He knew what he was doing was dangerous, but what else could he do?
-So...hearing what you just told me, I can tell you that we can help you without any problem-
-Really?-
-Yes, of course. We think that omegas have the right to choose for themselves, and we honestly don't understand why society hasn't already come to this conclusion. We get requests for such help from other omegas all the time, and we would be delighted to help you. Of course, as you know, this is not entirely legal and will come at some cost...-
-No problem, I just want to do it as soon as possible-
-And of course, there will also have to be some confidentiality...we'll write down that today's and the next one will be just routine visits, okay?-
-Sure-
Finally...he finally had a solution to the problem...Jeff walked out of the clinic with one less burden. He could relax now, it would all be over soon....
-Hey, you!- a woman called to him from afar. Various people had gathered around the facility with placards and megaphones.
Jeff pretended not to have heard her and went off somewhere else.
-Stop, I'm talking to you! You're one of them aren't you? How can you do such a thing?-
-What are you talking about? Sorry, but I have to go-
-How can you kill a living being? You are an omega right? Why would you want to kill your son?-
-I have no son, now let me go!- Jeff tried to make his way despite the woman's insistence.
Now he could read well what was written on the posters. That must have been a group of people who had come to protest abortion. It was not yet a widely used and widespread practice, only a few clinics had taken it upon themselves to do so, and apparently they had not been well received. Most likely also the rumor that abortions were being performed in that clinic without the consents of the alphas and listening only to the omegas must have gotten out. Jeff just hoped that the authorities would not intervene before his operation....
Almost a month later, Jeff showed up again at the same location. He had collected the money from some savings and partly asked his brother as well. Charlie had been quite reluctant to give it to him; he wanted to know why, but Jeff was adamant. He managed to come up with an excuse and convince him.
At the clinic, the doctor greeted him politely. There were two other people in the waiting room, two other omegas. In the doctor's office, Jeff signed some documents and handed over part of the payment in cash, the rest he would get electronically after the operation. Lying on the crib, wearing only a lab coat, Jeff began to feel afraid. They would sedate him completely; he would not be able to react or understand what was happening to him. What if they had hurt him? He had told no one he was there, no one would come to rescue him if anything happened. Now he could still get up and leave, but then he would have to start all over again...he had no choice, it was the only way.
-Jeff, are you ready?- the doctor asked him.
-Yes-
After a few moments he lost consciousness.
PRESENT
Jeff had just finished telling his story. Alan had never said anything, not once. He had let him talk without interrupting him. Now Alan was looking at him with an expression Jeff could not decipher.
-Alan...say something...- he pleaded with him.
The alpha said nothing. He lowered his gaze to the bed, still holding Jeff's hands between his own; he had never left them.
-Please Alan...talk...I don't know...tell me something...- Jeff was on the verge of bursting into tears. Why wasn't Alan responding?
-Did it...hurt you?- it was all Alan cared about now. He wanted to find words, he wanted to say something, but at that moment that was the only thing he wanted to know. He went back to looking at him steadily in the eye.
-No, or at least not during the operation...-
-Then what happened?-
-When I woke up it was already afternoon. I stayed at the clinic until evening and then calling a cab I went home. It didn't hurt right away, after a few hours yes...a little...however, they had given me painkillers...mostly I was tired all the time...-
-The clinic...where is it?
-It is no longer there...- saying this, instinctively Jeff tried to pull his hands away from Alan's, who, however, did not let go. Alan knew there was something else unsaid.
-May I know why?-
-Remember when I told you about those people who were protesting outside the clinic?...a few weeks after the operation it was all over the television that a patient had had surgery there but because of a medical error she almost died and ended up in a very serious condition in an other hospital. And that girl was the sister of one of the people who were protesting...-
-Medical error?-
-The doctor who operated on me...actually wasn't fully licensed...nobody in there was...they operated, yes, but it was just to make money. Most of the time they were simple operations that ended well, but others...-unconsciously Jeff squeezed Alan's hands tighter.
-Your operation...-
Jeff began to feel his eyes burning, but he did not want to cry.
-After a few days after the operation, I went back to the clinic for a checkup. They told me that there had been complications...that the operation had gone well but...there had also been consequences due to...I don't know...I don't remember what excuse they made up...-
-What consequences?- now Alan was very serious.
Jeff could not look him in the eye.
-Just that...if one day...here...I...may not be able to have any more children...-
Alan said nothing, just looked at him.
-Or rather...it's not that I can't have them...just that I'll struggle more...that is less likely...- Jeff tried to correct himself to be clearer.
-Jeff, look at me-
The omega still hadn't found the courage to look up.
-Jeff, I tell you again, look at me-
Finally Alan convinced him and their eyes met again.
-Why didn't you tell me earlier?-
-I thought you were going to leave me...I don't know if you want to have children in the future...and I don't know if I can ever...-
-For now I just want to be with you, we'll think about the rest later...- Alan pulled him to himself and hugged him -Thank you, for being honest with me, Jeff-
Jeff said nothing. He really had nothing to hide now. He felt good, he was not alone anymore.
-Alan, I love you- it was all he could say.