(TW!! Mentions of Bolemia!!)
(Alyssa Grimes' POV:) It's been a few months since Rick's death. Michonne's about seven or so months pregnant and she and Daryl are still out there, looking for Rick.
I don't know if I think he's alive or not. I want him to be, god I want him to be but the chances of him surviving an explosion are very slim.
Adrian seems to be doing better than she was before he died. I think the fact that I haven't purged ever since she allowed me to tattoo her is helping a lot. My anxiety is weird, it's like on and off but whenever I'm with Inejra, Damien, or Adrian it feels better.
Damien and Cato are still together, thank god. Inejra and I are just as close. When Adrian was or wasn't able to comfort me, Inejra was always there.
I miss Rick, a lot. I feel like I just re-lost my dad. I want to be out there, looking for him, but I have this thought in the back of my brain that no matter what, I'll come up empty-handed. Plus, I like it back here.
There's a new group here. A woman and a bunch of really sweet kids. The woman's name is Jocelyn and she and I have talked a bunch. She likes asking Inej' and me to babysit the kids while she goes off and does whatever.
Apparently, Michonne knew Jocelyn so they've been hanging out a lot- meaning I'm distracted by the kids to be too focused on my grief.
Inejra hates them. She thinks they're sticky and rowdy but I love them. And because I love them, Inejra said she'll deal with them.
The kids are so sweet. They love me and to Inejra's annoyance, they love her too. They think I'm really sweet and caring and they think Inejra's funny- just funny.
They think her insulting them are jokes so eventually, Inejra turned them into one.
I'm walking down the street, alone, when I see Michonne and a few other adults walking out of Jocelyn's house, calling their kid's names.
"Judith!" Michonne yells, spinning around.
"Michonne!" Scott yells from the pantry.
Michonne quickly runs to the pantry and I follow her silently. My senses are immediately on high alert when I hear the panic in her voice.
"Oh my god." Michone whispers, her eyes widened at the sight of a dead Alexandrian man.
"Holy..." I whisper, looking around at the empty pantry.
Every ounce of food is gone, not even the scraps are left. Every single shelf is fully empty.
Michonne looks at me but doesn't say anything, her mind obviously preoccupied by the other problems.
"Something's wrong!" Frankie, one of Negan's old wives, yells as she runs into the pantry. "The infirmary was raided.
Michonne slowly turns to the road, her eyes following small, bloody footprints. "No...no." She whispers, walking with the footsteps that lead to a drain. "No, no, no, no..."
A sheer feeling of panic quickly rises through my body, causing my heart rate to pick up way too many paces.
Michonne gasps quietly, clearly holding in tears.
"We have to find them." Scott quickly says, putting his hands on his head.
Michonne nods quickly, not tearing her eyes away from the half-opened drain. "We will." She whispers, looking back at us with tears in her eyes. "Daryl and I'll find them."
I shake my head, "No, you're pregnant. Let me go in place of you."
"No," Michonne quickly interjects. "Judith is my child, I have to find her myself."
"Then let me go with you." Before Michonne shakes her head, I hold my hand up. "Don't. I'm Adrian's sister, I got the stubborn genes."
She sighs and thinks quickly, "Adrian'll be okay with it?"
I shrug, "Dunno, don't really care. She does stuff all the time without asking me. My turn." I smirk, raising my eyebrows.
Michonne nods and looks behind her before looking at me again, "Grab your gear."
"Sick." I whisper, turning around and running to my house.
I bolt through the door, causing Adrian to jump up from her spot on the couch and drop her book. "Jesus fuckin' Christ!" She yells. "Why you runnin'?"
I don't give myself any time to think before I respond. "Inejra wants to train, she's timing me!" I lie, grabbing my gun and Carl's knife and running back into the living room. "Love you!" I yell as I run out of the house.
I always make sure to tell her I love her before one of us leaves Alexandria. It's an apocalypse, everything is unpredictable.
It's been a few hours of walking in the humid heat. Apparently, they know where they're going. It's some old library that they found the other kids at when Jocelyn first showed up at Alexandria.
We're walking up a tall hill, the grass about the height of my shins and the wind blowing not nearly enough to give me relief from the heat rolling off of my arms.
Michonne is walking ahead of Daryl and I though, we can hear her heavy breaths.
Daryl and I exchange glances and I give him a "dude." look; almost as a symbol to offer to stop for a second.
He nods and turns to Michonne, "Let's take a break." He says, halting to a stop.
"Yeah, you seem really tired." I add, wiping sweat off of my forehead.
Crap, I'm sweating a lot. What if they think that's weird? Do they sweat?
I quickly shake my head to get the thoughts out of my brain so I can focus on the task at hand.
Daryl points to a nearby yellow, rusting swingset and Michonne complies without a fight, walking over to it.
"I know you wanna be out here, but you got a baby, you know?" Daryl says, following her as I trail behind him.
He motions to the swings for her to sit down and when she does, you can tell there's an immediate relief on her feet and back.
Daryl offers the seat next to her but I shake my head, "I'll sit on the ground. You're old." I smirk, chuckling at Daryl's eye-roll.
I groan as I sit on the dusty ground, the tall grass around us no doubt hiding some creature like a snake or bunny.
Daryl and I both notice Michonne's quivering lip. "We'll find 'er," Daryl assures her. "We will."
I nod, "We know where we're going. You guys told me they always go to that place so there's no chance they won't be there."
Michonne half-smiles at me and then looks past me, staring at the trees rustling in the gentle breeze. "I can't believe this." She says, sniffing. I can hear the sound of birds twittering around us, a somewhat comforting feeling.
"She was a friend, you know?" She continues. "Like, a real one. We went through everything together, figuring out who we were gonna be. Heartbreak...losing my mom." Michonne's voice begins to crack and she avoids both Daryl and I's eye contact.
"I wanted her to be that again, you know? I needed it." She says, crying. "I let my guard down and now..."
"Hey, this ain't on you. Not even a little." Daryl says gently, putting his hand on her thigh.
Michonne looks at him, "I should've known, Daryl. I should've sensed something."
"Love, you couldn't have." I assure her, making sure to keep my voice not panic-y. "Sometimes these things are hard to see."
She sighs and chews on her cheek, desperately trying to contain her tears.
"Some people just got so much evil in their hearts, and they hide it, like they're wearing a mask or somethin'." Says Daryl. "Nah, this is on her. And she'll pay. We'll find 'em. We will." He says, squeezing her knee gently.
She nods and sniffs, glancing at me before turning to Daryl. "We should keep moving." She says, standing up.
We've finally made it to the library and we decided to split up. I went with Michonne to the right and Daryl went alone to the left.
We walk silently around the library, slowly approaching the door. I'm gripping Carl's knife so tight my knuckles are white. My heart feels cold from the excessive amount of heartbeats it's beating.
I gasp when I see a kid, PJ, standing at the white doors of the library.
Michonne notices it too and before I can say anything, she yells, "PJ!"
He quickly turns and unsheathes his knife, slowly walking down the steps without taking his eyes off of us.
Michonne breathes heavy, short breaths and tries to approach him without seeming like a threat. But PJ only sees us as one, and he takes off, running around the left side of the building.
"Wait, wait!" Michonne yells, running after him.
"I got him!" I yell, sheathing my knife and racing after PJ. "PJ!" I yell, enjoying the feeling of the wind smacking me in the face and causing my hair to blow behind me.
I follow him inside the building, immediately making my footsteps almost silent but skidding to a stop when PJ joins a group of all of the kids, each of them aiming a weapon at our heads.
"Woah, woah." I whisper, putting my hands up.
Michonne stands next to me, her breathing even heavier than mine; poor thing.
Some of the kids are teenagers but most of them are around ten, however, they're still somehow terrifying.
"Michonne? Alyssa?" I hear Daryl's voice from behind us, though, Michonne and I don't turn to face him.
I don't want to kill kids at all. And I know neither of them do either. We're here for our kids and if we can get them and just leave these kids, and Jocelyn, we will.
"Where are my kids?" Michonne breathlessly asks.
"Drop 'em." A teenager, Jack, orders.
"Just tell me that they're safe." Michonne pleads.
Without wasting a second, a blonde little girl fires her arrow into Daryl's shoulder.
"Wait!" I scream, quickly shutting up when I see them approaching Michonne and me.
"I said...drop it." Jack repeats.
"Okay. Okay." Michonne whispers, putting her hand up and slowly lowering her katana.
"You too." He nods to me. I nod quickly and slowly unsheathe my knife, holding one of my hands up to show I'm not gonna try anything. I set Carl's knife gently on the ground and then do the same with my gun.
I can hear Daryl's groans from behind me and I quickly look behind me to make sure he's okay. When I look back at the kids, one of them is swinging at my head with a red brick, smacking me in the side of the head.
I quickly groan in pain before I feel a cold surface on the side of my face and everything goes black.
When I wake up, there's some sort of cloth tied around my mouth and my hands are tied to a pipe above my head, allowing only the tips of my toes to touch the ground.
A fire crackles to the right of me, causing it to be thick with heat in the room. Michonne and Daryl are both on opposite sides of me.
Seeing them like this, feeling the pipe slowly warming from the amount of time my hands have been resting on it, I immediately begin to panic. The air that I'm trying to inhale through my nose quickly feels like it's stopped and I can't get enough into my lungs. My whole body begins to shake and I can't stop my eyes from darting around the room, trying desperately to see Adrian somehow coming to the rescue.
But she's not.
I whimper quietly and try to pull my wrists out of the ropes tying them, to no avail. I can feel the ropes rubbing layers of my skin off and I grunt in frustration and fear when I get nowhere. Hot, heavy tears roll out of the corners of my eyes and down my face, getting soaked into the cloth.
Adrian, please.
My eyes widen in realization. Adrian doesn't know where I am. She thinks I'm with Inejra and when she finds out she saw me when I was leaving and didn't have a chance to talk me out of going (even though I didn't even tell her), it's gonna eat her up.
I instantly begin trying to pull my hands out of the ropes again, this time, more frantically. "Please!" I yell to the ropes, though my voice is muffled.
"Alyssa, Alyssa." Daryl gently says, his voice muffled as well. "Doin' that's not gonna help." I can tell he wants to help but since he's also no doubt internally panicking, he can't.
My heart stops at the sight of Jack, a kid named Linus, and the kid who hit me, standing next to a burning cauldron.
There's no way out of this. We're fucked.
"They're awake." The kid who hit me, Winnie, tells Linus
My blood runs cold when Linus immediately grabs a long, burning piece of iron and stands behind Daryl, holding the orange, burning side dangerously close to his back as Bradon holds his shirt up.
I whimper again, trying to slow my breathing because like Adrian says, it's not going to help, just make things worse.
"Go on, Linus. Be strong." Jocelyn instructs him.
Without a second thought, Linus shoves the burning "X" into Daryl's flesh, melting the skin under it.
Daryl screams out in pain, trying his best to pull away from the burning torture device but because his hands are tied up, he can't.
My whole body shakes and my eyes screw shut, almost as if that's gonna save me from knowing what Daryl's going through right now. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
I can still hear the sound of Daryl's screams though unfortunately, they aren't louder than his skin sizzling under the device.
When he steps away from Daryl, Jocelyn approaches Linus, "Well done, Linus." She says.
He turns to her, "The strong survive." He says.
"And thrive." Jocelyn says, finishing his sentence and nodding to me. Linus nods and walks over to the cauldron again, burning the "X" he used to burn Daryl with and then walking behind me, making me whimper in fear when I feel my shirt get pulled up on my back.
Please, please, please Adrian. Please c-
All of my thoughts get interrupted by an agonizing burning sensation going throughout my whole body. I can hear my skin sizzling under the intense heat of the iron "X" and I wail out in agony.
Sobs quickly spill out of my mouth as I do what Daryl did and try to get away but ultimately fail. The smell of my burning skin, my sobs, and the immense pain in my whole body causes me to gag, my body going limp once they finally pull the "X" away.
I sob to myself, silently pleading that somehow, someway, Damien, Adrian, Inejra, Cato someone will show up and save us. If this is what they do to us first, I don't even want to think about the other things they have planned.
The sounds of my sobs make me unable to hear what Jocelyn is saying to Michonne. The only thing I can hear over my cries is Michonne screaming "Where is she?!"
"Control it, Winnie. Don't let it control you." Jocelyn informs Winnie, allowing her to walk behind Michonne.
The sounds of Michonne's screams echo throughout the room, causing me to begin sobbing even harder and squeeze my eyes shut once more.
My whole body hurts, my stomach hurts from crying, my back hurts from the lower left side being burned, my eyes burn from the tears, everything hurts.
I just want to see Adrian. That may never happen.
I tense my body as if trying to shrivel up and disappear into something nobody can see.
I don't open my eyes when Michonne is done screaming, I don't open my eyes when Jocelyn says, "Let's go." and I don't open my eyes when the door opens and closes.
I just stand there, sobbing and shaking.
"Carl, I know you can hear me." I whisper almost soundlessly. "Please, please help me. Help Michonne, help Daryl. Help us...please."
After a few minutes, I only open my eyes when I hear grunting and punches being thrown.
My eyelids feel like they'd been glued together when I manage to pry them open. I allow a small hint of relief to wash over my body when I see Daryl throw another kid, James, to the ground and wrap his hands around his throat, squeezing until his kicking stops.
He then runs over to Michonne and cuts her loose, then cuts my wrists loose.
I wobble when I try to stand but manage to hold myself up, trying to maintain a stronger exterior for whatever we may have to do.
"Hey, we should split up." Michonne pants, pulling her shirt down.
"Alright, I'ma tie him up." Daryl says, crouching next to James.
Michonne looks at me to see if I want to go with her and I nod. I want to stay with Daryl, he makes me feel safer, but I would rather go with the pregnant woman.
She nods and grabs two pipes, handing one to me and keeping one for herself before we silently exit the room.
Both of our breathing is heavy and ragged as we climb up the steps, my whole body still shaking from pain, terror, and adrenaline.
As we walk alongside the wall, we hear Jocelyn's voice. "Send out another patrol. There could be more of them." When she catches sight of us, she and her group of kids stop in their tracks in front of us.
"They're both out! Alert the others! Load up the rest. We need to go. " She orders Winnie.
I wince when Winnie blows into a high-pitched, squeaky whistle and runs the opposite way of us.
Please tell me I'm not gonna have to kill kids.
Jocelyn motions to a girl holding Michonne's katana and the girl quickly aims it at Michonne's head, both Michonne and I aiming out pipes at her's.
"Where are my kids?" Michonne asks. "Where's Judith?! Tell me!"
Jocelyn finally says, "Why? She's better off. You live in the past, chasin' a ghost, while Judith's been with me." The sound of a door opening makes both Michonne and I drag our attention away from Jocelyn, the girl aiming the katana toward us, Linus, and Jack, and to the door.
There are about a dozen kids, all being led out of a back door and outside, away from us. Anxiety quickly replenishes in my body and I think of all the possibilities of what could be happening while Michonne screams out "Judith! Judith!"
"You know what happens next, Linus." Jocelyn says.
Linus holds up my knife, Carl's knife, and says, "We marked our kill, we kill our mark."
X marks the spot I guess. Goddamn it, I'm gonna have to kill kids.
"Help him." Jocelyn orders the girl with the katana. "Let's go." She says to Jack as she and he run off.
Just as the girl with the katana swipes at Michonne, Linus launches at me, going for my throat but I quickly duck and kick his legs out.
"I don't want to have to hurt you!" Michonne yells.
"Linus, please. You know me!" I plead with him, allowing him to stand up.
He shouts as he throws the knife, missing my face but slicing my shoulder open. I scream out in pain and grab my bleeding shoulder. Though, through the pain, I manage to grab the knife before Linus does, just as Michonne grabs her katana.
I glance at her and see that her stomach is bleeding, making my whole world stop.
Please no. Please don't make Michonne have a miscarriage after everything.
When Michonne and I both have the upper hand, Linus and the girl quickly run off. Without a word, Michonne and I run to the door trying desperately to open it. "Damn it!" I scream as I feel the chain lock on the outside of it.
"C'mon!" Michonne pants, running down the way we came.
I can feel my shirt becoming soaked with blood but I choose to pay no mind. Our footsteps echo throughout the building as we race down the halls, running to another set of rusting double doors.
"Judith!" Michonne yells as she runs out the door though quickly being stopped by a wooden plank to the face.
As Jocelyn beats her with the plank, I get surrounded by two other teenagers, Jack and Austin.
"Please..." I whisper, grabbing Jack's fist and kicking him in the stomach. He grunts in pain and takes a few steps back before I notice his eyes moving to something behind me.
As soon as I notice that, I quickly turn and right-hook Austin on the side of the face, shoving him away from me and towards Austin.
When I look back I see Michonne standing up after killing Jocelyn. She walks next to me and Austin, Jack, and the other kids stand in some form of formation.
"You can all come back to Alexandria. We'll take care of you now." Michonne offers, holding her back.
"You guys know it's safe. It's got food and protection you've just gotta..." My voice trails off when I see Jack whispering something to the kids.
He then screams as he runs at Michonne and before she can do anything, I tackle him to the ground and we begin rolling a few feet away.
Unfortunately, I land under him and he goes to shove his knife in my eye but I manage to grab his hand before he does so.
"Jack," I grunt, my hands shaking under the force of his. He then grabs his hand with his other and uses the force of both arms to try and shove his knife into my eye.
The tip of the blade is about half an inch away from my eye when I manage to buck my hips like I've seen Adrian do and his weight becomes shifted. He has to move his knife away from my eye to grab onto the ground to hold him upright.
I then use my elbow and jam it into his, breaking the joint. He drops his knife and screams in pain, only to be silenced by that same knife being stabbed into his temple.
I whimper and begin quietly crying as I watch the light drain his eyes and his body become deadweight, only being held up by the blade still in his head.
Michonne's yelling breaks me out of my trance and I rip the knife out of his head, throwing him off of me and standing up.
When I stand up, Michonne is now slowly approaching Winnie who is standing in the doorway of an R.V.
I don't focus on that, instead, my attention is drawn to the headless kids sprawled out on the ground.
I fall to the ground and begin sobbing, gently placing my hand on one of the kids who favored me.
Daryl crouches down next to me and places his hand on my non-wounded shoulder before standing up and rushing over to the Alexandrian kids filing out of the R.V.
"Alyssa?!" Adrian yells, rushing down the street after seeing my bloody shoulder and bruised cheekbone.
"Adrian!" I sob, running over to her and hugging her tightly, ignoring the aching pain in my shoulder and back.
"Alyssa what the fuck happened?!" She asks, squeezing me tightly before breaking the hug and looking me up and down with panicked and angry eyes. But not angry eyes at me. "Who did this to you?" She insists, squeezing my forearm.
I shake my head, "They're dead. All of 'em we-" I cry out and hug Adrian again. "We killed kids, Adrian, we killed kids." I weep, my voice becoming strained and tired.
"Sh, sh, it's okay." She whispers, petting my hair. "You're with me now."
I yelp when her hand accidentally pushes on my brand mark and she looks at me with confusion. Slowly, I turn around and lift my shirt, revealing the mark.
"Oh my god." She whispers in pure horror, spinning me back around and hugging me again. "Oh my god."
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." I cry out, hiding my face in her shoulder. "I should've told you. I should've told you."
She doesn't respond to my words, she just cups my cheek and half-smiles. "Jesus, you're a strong mother fucker."
I smile through my tears, "PBND, right? No matter what?"
She nods, "PBND, bitch." She says, wrapping her pinky around mine.
"Alyssa!" Inejra yells, she and Gabriel appearing from behind Adrian.
Without saying anything, I quickly rush over to Inejra and hug her tightly. "I thought I would never see you again." I whisper, finding comfort and solace after hugging both Adrian and Inejra.
Gabriel crouches down in front of me, "You alright?" He asks.
I pause, allowing my lip to quiver before I eventually nod. "Yeah,"
He smiles and puts his hand behind my head before pulling me into a hug. "Using my daughter as an alibi, huh?" He chuckles.
I laugh tearfully, "Well, did she say that I was with her?"
He nods and breaks the hug, "Unfortunately."
Inejra scoffs, "Why the hell wouldn't I? I thought you were out fucking smoking with someone or whatever. I was upset you didn't invite me."
I smile and grab Inejra's hand, "I'll be sure to do that whenever someone offers me weed."
She nods but then shakes her head when she sees Gabriel's look. "Why would I do that? God's watching." She jokes.
Gabriel chuckles and straightens up, "I'm glad you're okay, Alyssa." He says.
I nod, "Me too."