(TW!! Mentions of Bolemia and drug usage!!)
"I have an idea." I announce to Alyssa, sitting in front of her on the picnic table.
She and Inejra look at me confusedly, "Oh god." Alyssa whispers, setting her spoon down.
I grab my backpack from the ground and set it on the table, their confused faces becoming even more confused.
"Y'know how I've always wanted to be covered in tats?" I start, smirking gently.
Alyssa narrows her eyes, "Mhm?"
"Well," After rummaging in my backpack, I find a folded-up sheet of paper and hand it to Alyssa. "Y'know how you're a freaky good artist?" Her eyes widen when she opens the paper and sees the picture she drew of us when I took her hunting for the first time.
She scans each pencil line, as if trying to memorize it so she never forgets it. "You kept this?"
"Hell yeah, I did." I say with a straight face though my muscles are loosened. She smiles widely and allows me to continue. "Well, back at the prison, before I became a fuckin' amputee,"
She sighs, "Before you lost your leg doing something for the rest of the group."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I use my hand to wave her words off. "Michonne found this," I pull out a packaged, battery-powered tattoo gun with seven ink casings. "On her run and gave it to me. Haven't been able to use it."
Alyssa raises her eyebrows- attempting to raise only one like I do but ultimately failing. "You want me to tattoo this picture onto you?"
I shake my head, "No- well if you want. But, whenever you feel like purging, you can doodle on me with that. My only request is that you do something related to Glenn or Abraham at least once." I poke the tattoo gun.
Alyssa quickly looks at me, "What if I mess up?"
I tilt my head in annoyance, "You actually think I would give a fuck?"
She smiles and shakes her head, looking back down at the picture. "You really need to clean out your backpack."
I scoff and grab the picture and the tattoo gun back, "I know, and it's a deal."
Inejra scoffs and sets her eggs down, "Shit, Adri, 's a commitment there."
I shrug, "I've made worse commitments. I'd rather have her doodles tattooed on me by her hand than anyone else here." I sling my backpack over my shoulder and stand up, "You better come to me now."
She nods, "Pinky promise." When she holds out her pinky, I wrap mine around her's and we both kiss our thumbs to "seal it".
"Inejra, you can do it too." I smirk at Inejra's nonchalant face.
She rolls her eyes, "Only if I'm that bored."
I scoff, "I've seen the drawings you and Anne have made..." My voice trails off as I see Maggie walking up to the group, her steps strong and purposeful- something's heavy on her mind.
Damn it.
Without excusing myself, I quickly walk over to her. "Dude, what's up?"
She sighs and puts her hands on her hips, "Someone killed a Savior, Justin."
I straighten up at her words, "You know it was murder?"
She nods, "Shot in the back."
"Damn, that's not gonna go over well. They're not gonna be happy."
"No, they're not." She says. "I'm droppin' off my part of the deal, found 'im wanderin' the streets. Ran into a few of 'em so, I can't be the one to tell them about it."
I nod, "We'll handle it, thanks."
A few minutes later, the Saviors are going ballistic at the sight of their friend, dead on the bed of Maggie's trailer. Two sides have formed, Saviors, and our own people, each of them screaming angrily.
"Guess they're gonna execute every last one of us!" A Savior, Jed, yells. "Just like Justin!"
"Not if we have guns, too." Another Savior, Regina, replies.
"Gabriel!" Inejra yells in frustration as Gabriel and a Savior begin to fight. She quickly jumps into action and wraps her arm around the Savior's neck and pulls him away, careful not to actually hurt him so she doesn't get in trouble.
Saviors and our people begin to scream at each other, each person having to shove another person off so they don't get into a fight.
"Yo!" I yell, grabbing a man by the collar of his shirt and pulling him away from Rosita as she's turned around.
"What? What're you gon' do?" The man, Raiden, asks, slowly stepping closer to me. "You gon' take some Fentanyl? Heroin? Then what? You join us then fuck us over. You make it seem like you're this tough son-of-a-bitch but in reality, whether he's dead or not, you're still under Nick's boot. You're too scared of men to be able to look them in the eye."
"Adrian, don't entertain it." Alyssa warns, standing on the sidelines so she doesn't get hurt but standing ready in case I do.
"Too late." I whisper, sucker-punching him in the jaw.
He recoils quickly, an even angrier look in his eye as he swings, missing me when I duck.
"Dumbass." I whisper, shoving him backward. I want to beat his ass, but if I throw another punch, I'll probably get in trouble too.
Once he's back in line with the Saviors, unfortunately, they all begin pushing toward us, both of our groups becoming one big group of screaming, angry, disgusting enemies.
"Hey! Stop it! Stop it! Stop!" Alden screams, coming to stand in the middle of the group.
I pant on my side of the fight, glaring at Raiden as we both stare at each other with equal anger.
"We're gonna find out who did this, and we're gonna make sure it never happens to us again, alright?" Alden reassures them.
"'Us'?" Jed asks, stepping closer to Alden.
"Us." Alden replies.
"You're not one of us anymore."
Alden sighs at Jed and turns around, "'Us' means all of us."
Just then, Jed grabs Alden by the shoulder, spins him around, and punches him in the face
"Go shovel that horse shit to whoever killed Justin." Jed grunts as a woman from Oceanside catches Alden. He goes to punch him again but Carol puts a hand on his chest, leaving the other one on her gun.
He chuckles dryly, "I thought you were supposed to be our leader."
"Enough. Turn around, all of you." Carol orders.
Jed's eyes don't leave Carol's as he speaks, "No can do, C. Why don't you go ahead and yank that Roscoe, pop me right here? It's better than worrying about gettin' it in the back."
When Carol unholsters her gun, all of us do the same but make sure not to aim it at anyone in specific.
Laura steps forward, "Hey, we don't want this. We just need to protect ourselves." She says.
"No guns!" Daryl yells from a few feet away, leaning against a tree.
"That 'cause you're the one who took out Justin?" D.J., a Savior asks.
"Nah. My money's on Garbage Lady." Another Savior says.
"Revenge for Simon's play, sure." Regina queries.
"Nhm-hm," Raiden says, shaking his head. "Gotta be Adrian. Remember? Said he wanted a turn after Nick was done with 'er at the party she did she did body shots at." Our people quickly look at me as I steam from anger.
He continues, "She entertained it afterward too. Slappin' 'er ass n' shit. He probably offered to fuck her or some shit and she didn't like it. She's scared of men, no wonder she shot 'im in the back."
"If it was me I woulda' made sure y'all knew. Carved my name and used the bullet hole as the dot of my 'i'. I ain't no pussy, I woulda' owned up to it by now." I hiss, ignoring the image of me doing body shots and being high off of every drug possible floating around in everyone's minds.
"Nah. It's him." D.J. cuts in. "Finishin' what he started." Then, he and Jed walk over to a tree and grab two axes, ready to ambush Daryl.
Arat runs up to them, "Hey, stop. It's gonna go too far."
"Nah. It won't." Daryl says.
"Maybe it's all three of 'em." D.J says, not taking his eyes off Daryl.
He then rallies up a few more Saviors, making them walk closer to us.
As if he was sent by God, Rick, on a horse, tears through the group, causing people to quickly back off. "Everyone back off! Right now!" He orders.
Arat quickly runs and grabs D.J.'s axe. Laura steps over to Jed, "Alright, we are not doing this." She says, trying to grab his weapon. "Let it go."
"I'll talk to Rick." Alden offers. "I'll try and find a way to make everybody feel safe, all right?"
Rick walks his horse back and forth, making sure the group stays split.
"Start the redirect." He orders. "Pair off to work the grid."
I narrow my eyes at Raiden as he steps away, his eyes not leaving me or my body until he's far enough away.
Damien quickly turns to me, "Body shots? Jesus, you're hot."
Cato scoffs next to him, "Shoulda' seen her in the gang. Damn, had every man at her feet."
I roll my eyes, "No, nobody liked me because of Nick- well, nobody owned up to it."
Cato chuckles, "You're hotter than you think you are, love. Y'know how many I overheard like...fangirling over you?"
I raise both of my eyebrows and frown in understanding, "Huh, unfortunate that I chose the worst of 'em."
"Adrian," Rick says, breaking up the conversation.
With a nod, Damien and Cato walk off, giving Rick and I privacy.
"No, I didn't kill 'im. Like I told the Saviors, I woulda' owned up to it. I ain't a pussy."
Rick sighs and tilts his head at me, "You know who did?"
"Also a no."
"Well, will you be on the lookout for anyone who might know something?" He asks.
I nod, "How could I say no to that offer, chief?"
He narrows his eyes at me annoyedly and walks away, probably to go and interrogate someone else.
I sigh as I sit next to Daryl as he's sitting on a log, sharpening his knife.
"Think it's me?" He says more than asks.
I scoff, "I'm not a dumbass. Of course, I don't. You woulda' made it known."
He nods, "Did you?"
I shake my head, "I wish I had the privilege to say I did. That dude was a prick."
He looks at me, allowing his eyes to scan my face, taking in my scar, the red line in my eye, the soft blush of my lips, everything.
"Who were you...with the Saviors?" He finally asks.
I sigh deeply, "Back to Rattlesnake. That's who I was. Body shots, a needle hole in every vein, and nose bleeds every three seconds. Plan B every four." My fingers trail through my hair. "You wouldn't of recognized me."
Daryl shrugs, going back to sharpening his knife. "I've seen you like that before. You forget Merle and I were in that gang too."
I chuckle and raise my eyebrows, "Yes you were."
He looks at me again, staring into my eyes this time. Every time we look at each other, we both know. The love that we have for each other, the chemistry, it's so thick everyone can probably see a rope from his chest to mine.
But being in another relationship means flashbacks, lashouts, panic attacks. And I can't do that, especially not to Daryl.
I slowly drag my eyes away from his and stare at the ground, "It's not...your fault, you know? The breakup."
He nods, chewing on his lower lip. "I know."
I scoff, "No, you don't. That whole 'you hit me' crap is true but it's not the reason for the breakup. I know you would never lay a hand on me but it's like...wherever my trauma is stored doesn't." A quiet groan escapes my lips, "This sucks Daryl, and it's pissing me off that I like...physically and mentally cannot be with you because it's the only thing I want. It's the only thing that's been on my mind since we broke up but-"
"Adrian," He says gently, cutting my sentence off. "It's okay. I know why we broke up. You don't have to re-explain yourself."
I nod, "It feels like I have to."
"Nah," He says, shaking his head. "You don't. I know." The way he's speaking, I can tell he really means it.
Fuck, I love him so much.
When I hear sticks cracking next to us, I turn away from Daryl and see Rick walking over here, probably to interrogate Daryl.
I nod to Rick and stand up, walking away without another word.
Rick and I are walking together, checking the grid. There are a few more people out, searching as well. Alyssa and Inejra are here but Damien and Cato decided to stay back. Alyssa went with Rosita and Inejra went with Daryl.
Rick holds the walkie to his mouth, "Call it out."
"Grid one- clear so far." Jerry's voice says.
Daryl says, "Grid two's clear."
"Three is clear." Rick says.
"Grid four is clear." Maggie speaks.
"Grid five, clear." Arat says as well.
"Piper one, anything up top?" Rick asks.
"We're good. Nothing moving our way." Dianne shares.
"Stay sharp, eyes open. We still got missin' people out here." Rick says, holding a stick out of my face as he walks through it.
"Got activity nearby. Gonna go check it out." Maggie says.
Rick looks at me, "We're headed your way, grid five, do the same." He says, nodding towards Maggie's grid and beginning to walk that way.
"Think it's anything?" I ask, wiping sweat off of my forehead.
He shrugs, "Better to be safe than sorry."
I nod, not responding after that.
The trees thankfully serve as a thick blanket from the sun, clouding us in dark shade but unfortunately blocking the wind.
"How's 'Lyss?" Rick asks, looking at me.
I shrug, "I dunno, honestly. I don't know what the root of the problem is."
He nods, "Probably Carl."
"Well- that's no doubt part of it but, I don't know how it started. I told her she could tattoo me whenever she gets the urges though so hopefully that'll help."
He looks at me confusedly, "Tattoo?"
"Mhm, Michonne gave me a tattoo gun at the prison before I lost my foot, fuckin' dumbass Walkers." I mumble. "But, it's battery powered, comes with its own first set of batteries, has its own ink, it's basically apocalypse proof."
Rick chuckles, "Can't wait to see it."
I nod, "Always wanted to look like a walkin' art piece. 'Lyss's pretty skilled."
He nods, "She drew a picture for Carl. He had it hangin' up on his wall above his bed."
"No shit, really? I didn't think she drew anymore."
"Guess not."
"Wait, sh." I shush, silencing him when I hear the faint sound of Walkers growling. "Maggie's grid?"
Rick nods, "Maggie's grid." He repeats, beginning to run.
I groan quietly and pick up the pace behind Rick, grabbing my whip just in case.
When we get to an abandoned house, Maggie and Cyndie are already there, loads of dead Walkers all around them; maybe two dozen.
"Shit, y'all alright?" I ask, scanning the Walkers.
Cyndie nods and steps away from the railing of the front porch, "Yeah." She pants, holding onto her hand. "Just opened it back up." She says, talking about the wound on her hand.
There's a sound of metallic banging coming from somewhere around the house, no doubt drawing more Walkers in.
"What happened to grid five? Should've been here before us." Rosita says, looking at Rick.
Rick sighs and pulls out his walkie, "Grid five, what's your status?"
When there's no response, without saying another word, we all immediately race through the woods, running to where grid five's trail should be.
About two minutes later, we come across Bea, a woman from Oceanside, lying on the ground, unconscious.
Cyndie quickly checks her pulse and when she feels one, she gently shakes her. "Bea, Bea, wake up."
Seeing Bea on the ground, all of our senses immediately spike and we're not on high alert, jumping at every quiet noise or turning around at every gust of wind with the thought that it's someone's breath.
Bea groans and sits up as Rick asks, "You okay?"
"Yeah, yeah I think so." She assures him.
"What happened?" He asks.
"Arat called in the all-clear, and we headed towards the road and," She groans and puts a hand behind her head. "I think something hit me from behind."
"And Arat?" Rick asks.
"I don't know. Thanks." She says, standing up and accepting her weapon from Daryl.
Maggie approaches the group, "Whoever did this, took her." She says, holding up Arat's gear.
"There's no blood though, I think she's alive." Alyssa thinks aloud.
Rick sighs and scans the woods, "Let's head back." He says, nodding to us to go back to camp.
"We need to find her." Rick says, standing at a table inside the main tent. Jerry, Carol, Cyndie, Maggie, Damien, and I all stand with him, trying to figure out the best course of action.
"Do the Saviors know?" Cyndie asks.
"Not yet. They think Arat's on watch through the night. Come morning they will." Carol responds.
"She could be dead already." Maggie says.
Damien shrugs, "'Lyss said she didn't find blood. She could still be alive like they're holding her for something."
Carol nods, "That could be worse. If we don't figure out what happened, Sanctuary is gone."
"If that happens, we won't finish the word before the water rises. We'll lose the bridge." Says Rick.
"Yo." Jerry butts in, holding up his hand. We all instinctively look over at him. "Say we nab the perp, then what? Who decides what happens next? Is it- Is it gonna be a 'Gregory' or... a 'Negan'?"
I run my fingers through my hair, "The Saviors are already pissed at Rick, if he makes this decision alone it could be even worse."
It's quiet for a moment as everyone contemplates the choice, the only sound around us is the faint chatter of the people at this camp.
"Well," Cyndie starts, breaking the silence. "Whoever it is, when the time comes, they'll get what they deserve."
"Pair up with someone you trust. We're out there 'till we find her." Rick orders
Without another word, we all split, going to grab someone to walk with.
I grab Damien's wrist as he goes to walk away, "Alyssa and Inejra aren't going."
He raises an eyebrow, "They're gonna be livid."
I shrug and drop his arm, "I'd rather them be livid at me than get shot in the back."
He nods, "Cato's staying back, he thinks the group still doesn't trust him so...guess that leaves just us."
I groan exaggeratedly, "Damn. You?"
He chuckles and hits my shoulder with his, "Oh, how could you ever survive?"
"You spoken to Negan much since he's been in the cell?" Damien asks, swatting away a bug as we make our way through the woods.
I shrug, "Not really." The words in my mouth get tangled and wrapped around each other so I pause to get my thoughts in order. "I want to. Like- I don't want to. But I want to."
He looks at me confusedly, "I think I know what you mean but...elaborate."
I scoff, "I want to ask him why he forced me back with Nick, why he took me. Why he let Nick into his group after he spent that whole time in the gang resentin' him."
Negan and I used to be tight as hell, about how Damien and I are or Alyssa and Inejra. I expected us to bounce back as soon as I found him but instead, it feels like he just betrayed me when I needed him the most.
"I feel like he's expectin' me to go and talk to him, I think he wants me to. I feel terrible for him...rottin' in that damn cell. Yeah, he did horrible shit but...isolatin' him from the rest of the world is barbaric. It's dangerous too, he could go like...insane."
Damien nods in understanding, his eyes staring at the setting sun. "I get it. I don't get it, but I understand." He says, looking at me. "Negan betrayed you and your trust. Killed Abraham and Glenn-"
"Y'know what I just realized?" I ask, interrupting him.
He scoffs and rolls his eyes, "What?"
"You've never shown hate towards Negan for killing Abe. Like...ever. You're angry at him, I heard you rantin' about it like two weeks ago. But...you seem fine with the thought that Negan's alive and you seemed fine with the thought that he was dead when Rick slit his throat. What's the deal?"
Damien shrugs, not saying anything for a second.
"Honestly, I wanted him dead. For what he did to Abe, Glenn, for what he put you through again. I didn't show it because I tried not to think about him, only you. Only what you were going through, and then Inejra, and then Alyssa. But when I saw you...on the ground, breaking down because of Negan, it like... disappeared. I didn't want him dead anymore."
"Why?" I ask, subconsciously leaning closer to Damien as he speaks from intrigue.
"You've been through hell...it's like you lose everyone you get close to and I didn't want you to have to lose Negan again- whether I wanted him dead or not."
I smile a half-down-turned smile, looking at my feet. However, before I can say anything, Damien continues. "Everybody in this group focuses on the fact Maggie lost her husband but not that you lost yourself. I know they all still hold a grudge against you for turning on us- to put it bluntly, but it pisses me off how it's all about Maggie."
I shake my head, "I don't want it to be about me. Or Maggie. It's about Abraham and Glenn."
Damien nods, "Whatever, the point is, they're treating you like shit and I feel like they will for a very long time. Especially since you cried over Negan's death."
"Well," I start, shrugging. "I'm kind of used to the whispers and side glances by now- from everyone. Rosita says she's chill with me now, even after I gave her that scar on her cheek but...I know she's not. Daryl and Rick are the only ones who really have moved past me being a Savior, minus you, 'Lyss, and 'Nej of course."
"How can you just...let them do that?" Damien asks, clearly triggered by my observations."
"If I entertain it then they'll see me as a Savior regardless. Violent, sensitive, whatever the fuck."
Damien scoffs, "This group pisses me off. They don't want to understand you...the shit you've been through."
I sigh and nod, "I just...they're hurtin'. That's all."
In the morning, the Saviors leave after Daryl and Maggie found Arat dead last night; there's still no news on who did it. They said they found no evidence pointing to anyone so we've decided to drop it.
Now, we're on our own now to finish this bridge.
"Gabriel's not here." Inejra says, running up to me and Alyssa as we watch the Saviors leave.
"What?" I ask, turning away and looking at Inejra.
She shakes her head through nervousness, "Gabriel's not fucking here! Neither is Anne. What if she did something? What if he's dead? What if-"
"Woah," Alyssa quickly says, grabbing onto Inejra's shoulders. "He's not and she didn't. We'll find him, just like we did the last time."
"What if we don't? 'God' only keeps him alive for so long!"
I scan the camp as if trying to spot Gabriel or Anne. "Wanna talk to Rick?"
She shakes her head, "No."
"Why?" Alyssa asks, looking at Rick and then back at Inejra.
"I don't want him to know...just us. And Damien and Cato...please."
Alyssa nods, her face soft and her grip loose, "Yeah. Of course. We'll find him, I swear." She says, pulling Inejra into a tight hug.
"Damn, why can't we have one day of peace." I whisper, turning and walking away to go and find Damien and Cato.