Thank you so much for your comments.... My mom is still recovering but she's fine, thank you for your concern 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Well here is another chapter because I don't want to get killed for leaving you on cliffhanger again 😅😅😅
I was so nervous writing these two parts. I really tried my best and I hope you like it 🤞🤞🤞 I cried so much though while writing 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Happy reading.....
Sky fell on his knees and cried out. Everything he kept in his heart came out today and for some unknown reason he is feeling light. It's like he's been released from his own prison of emotions where he locked up himself. He eventually stops crying. He feels good.... He closed his eyes, feeling exhausted and he doesn't know how much time he sat there. Then suddenly he remembers....
" Shit! P'pai...." Sky immediately stands up and rushed to meet Prapai. Because he knows what he did and it's affect on his phi. Isn't it why he doesn't want to tell his phi everything??
#
Prapai went straight to the gym area. He was successful in making Sky speak out that he's holding all these years. Yes, Prapai behaved like that to make sky talk by acting like he's angry at him.
He ripped off his shirt and thrown it somewhere away. He started hitting the punching bag because he's so frustrated right now. So many things happened and it was too much for him to take all at a time. And Sky leaving him is making it very hard for him to keep his sanity.
( Let's say he's wearing something like this )
He seems to be frustrated from outside but if someone tries to look into his heart, they'd know how broken he is. His heart,his soul,his life, his entire being is broken. Yet he'd trying to act tough. He keeps hitting the punching bag stopping himself from letting out his emotions. He's trying to hold back himself from breaking down.
To The man who promised me the world left me with it, shattered.
It's been one month I left Bangkok and it's been one month I knew I was pregnant. It took one month for my anger to go down and now I decided to write about my pregnency time. I want to talk to you so badly so I pulled out this way to vent my feelings through writing...
This one month I spent sulking over you and cursing you every time I vomited. Yes I've been vomiting everything I ate. And you know what phi.... I've been eating your favourite spicy noodles. It looks disgusting but your baby wants to eat only your favourite food and then threw up everything like he didn't like it. If he don't like it then why is he craving for it all the time?? Ahh! I'm so frustrated with him!
Are you wondering why I am calling him like I already know it'll be him?? Yes because I know it'll be a baby boy just like my phi. I can feel his mischiefs already.... What should we name him phi?? I'm already thinking about his name... If you don't come I will decide his name and you will lose your chance to name your son, I mean our son....
Our son.... I can't stop smiling everytime I reminds that I'm carrying our pup....
Please come na P'pai.... Sky misses you....
" Khun phoenix! You're not wearing your gloves na khaab. You'll hurt yourself like this...." A bodyguard says who's guarding the gym area only to be unheard by Prapai who continued to punch with bare hands
I thought I found something that I never had in my life. I wanted to keep you close never wanted to let you go. I don't want to give us any name. Want to keep it special. The only thing I wanted was to see a smile on your face when you think about me. I was so happy to have you in my life that I never thought of you leaving me....
I promise I won't be mad at you. Just come to me and if I get angry give me sunflowers and say the same cheesy line you always says to me...I will forgive you as always... Please phi... come to Sky na....
You're so special in my life. You're one of the secrets of my life. You're the hope to my life. You're one of the wishes of my life or you're the only wish I ever prayed for. I don't know what you are in my life but there's only you in there only you ...
I feel so close to you even you aren't. I will wait for you even if it's for hundred life times. I gave my all to you. My heart, my soul, my body I gave everything to you. I don't think you know but I am crazy for you P'pai.... from the moment I saw you, I've always been crazy for you....
If I knew, the last time I saw you would be the last time I ever saw you, I would tell you that for the shortest while I understood what it meant to feel freedom. To listen to my heart and to fall in love freely, wildly, recklessly, in a way I will never love again... I would tell you but....I think you already know.... that I am madly and crazily in love with you!
I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't make people love me.....
You loved me, right? But why do I feel like you never loved me. How can I be so wrong?? I'm feeling so suffocated that it is getting difficult to breathe.
Even though you changed I still want to see you. You're not a habit, you're like worship to me P'pai. It's not like I want you or I need you. It's just you're my first and last love. If you want to come back, come with full of passion. Like a dreamy reality and tell me your name again, meet me again and please love me this time. Because I still want to meet you for the first time and love you all over again....
It's my six month already when are you going to come?? Don't you miss your Sky??
I'm sorry if I annoy you or you think I'm too clingy or obsessed. Yes I'm a little obsessed phi because you're the first person who made me feel something in my life that I never felt. I found so much peace and comfort in you. You're the last bit of hope I'm holding onto.
There are days when I think you cared about me. When your words are kind and your touch is gentle. But then you left me wondering is that all a lie?
I have no words for the depth of my loneliness. I'm lost without a way to express this emptiness. The pain is almost unbearable.
" Khun phoenix you need to stop na khaab...."
I don't know if we ever able to meet again. I will never forget to say thank you because you've given me one of the loveliest friendship, P'pai....
I miss you.... I can feel it...
Today pa played a songs for me, I was smiling all the time remembering your smile when I heard the songs. It sucks to sleep alone, I miss your arms and voice.
My heart aches a little when I breathe knowing you're not here anymore. I miss you.....
Our naughty boy is kicking me so much phi ... He always craves for icecreams, not me. If you don't give him what he wants he'll kick me until he gets it. Uff he's so cunning like his dadda! I don't know how I will manage with you two.... And you know what he's so obsessed with your voice.... He can't sleep without hearing your voice. How come he loves you more when I'm the one who's carrying him ?? It's so unfair!
We met as strangers and then we became friends. We became two people who cannot live without eachother. We feel incomplete when we don't talk or see eachother even if it's for one day. But look where we are now.... I'm here all alone writing about you, about us who now turned into personal diaries.
You loved me when I didn't myself, when nobody did. I had nothing so you gave me your everything and took everything too, just so I have this stupid life without you. My life before you was wrecked but now it was gone and all I could do now is to remember how you'd say my name on your lips, how you'd caress my body, lift my chin and kiss me like it's your way of surviving and now all I could do was cry myself to sleep remembering these.
I knew you're a Playboy, you'll never be serious about relationships but still I let you rule me. You taught me how to actually live and now only to left me alone just to survive?. Do you hate me that you left me alone? It's fine, I will forgive you for this life and let you live peacefully cause I am not coming to you.
" Khun phoenix!! " The bodyguard tried to stop Prapai only to pushed away by Prapai so harshly that made him fall on the ground. Prapai continues . When the bodyguard looks at him, Prapai seems to be not in his senses. So he quickly left to call KinnPorsche. In the way he found Ohm and Phayu. He told them what Prapai was doing. Ohm and Phayu panicked and quickly ran to gym area.
Unknown to them someone else also followed them.
" PRAPAI!!! " They both shout in unison when they saw Prapai hitting the wall instead of punching bag which is torned and the sand is falling from it.
I miss us. I miss all of this. I miss everything about you phi.... And I hate missing you so badly....can you just come and stop all this...
I wish I could numb the pain with those sugar coated words which I've trusted easily, very easily....
" Ai Pai, stop it! " " Prapai! Are you listening?? Stop it now!! " Phayu and Ohm trying to stop him but Prapai seems like he isn't hearing them as he continued to hit the wall
Was I demanding?? Or because I was controlling? What mistake I did?? I only wanted to live with the man of my dreams as I already lost the life of my dreams....
" Prapai!! " " Ai Pai!!! "
I didn't know my biggest fear was love. Yet I fell for you to the stars and above. A curse and blessing. A happiness that is depressing.
Your eyes were a curse not for you but only for me because I dared to find a home in them... and now I'm homeless.
" Pai stop! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING! I SAID STOP IT!! " When Phayu tried to pull him away, Prapai growled and pushed him so hard that he fell a little far away
That's when Ohm saw that pheonix is not in his senses. He went far away from the world. He can see it in his eyes. Ohm knows better than anyone the look Prapai has now.... The same one Sky had for months when he came out of the coma. The only difference is Prapai is moving and reacting but Sky didn't. Ohm sees how Prapai is hitting the wall with all his power not even feeling the pain of his red bruised hands which are already turning blue and green.
Ohm had tears in his eyes. He knows Prapai loves his son but he doesn't know he loves him to the level where he's punishing himself for something he didn't do or he didn't even know. It pains him to see his soul crying for his son. But now he has to control his emotions and stop Prapai from hurting himself even more, only physically.
" Prapai!!! You should stop now!! Sky is waiting for you.... don't you want to see him.... come stop this " ohm tried to pull him by the waist but Prapai didn't budge
I don't know how to feel right now. I feel happy one minute and the next minute I'm questioning my self-worth. I find myself smiling and laughing and then I'll be crying. When I look over things why am I like this, there's only one answer, P'pai.... I am thinking nothing but you. You're buried deep inside my heart and soul.....
Prapai can only hear sky's voice which is echoing in his ears, piercing his soul with each word.
It's hurting so much P'pai! Labour pains has started.... Baby wants to come out and couldn't stop him till you comes. What do I do?? I don't want to go through this without you.... Please come phi... please come....I can't hold it anymore....but you won't come right.... I'm so stupid to wait for you....you bastard!!!
I waited for you to come. I waited for you to express your love and say sorry for treating me like that. I waited for you to tell me how much I mean to you. I waited for you to tell me I'm your home just like you're mine. I waited and waited and waited. You never came and I realised I got stood up by your love. Fuck! That hurts like hell KHUN PRAPAI KITTISAWAD!!!
" Prapai!!! " Phayu and Ohm pulled him together. This time they succeeded but Prapai is like uncontrollable animal in rage
YOU CHOSE ME LIKE NO ONE EVER DID THEN LEFT ME LIKE EVERYONE DID!
" PRAPAI! " A very hard slap landed on Prapai's face which made him stop his actions.
" Uncle?? " Finally he came out of his trance and looked surprisingly at Phayu and Ohm who are sighing in relief
" What the fuck do you think you're doing?? Punching and hitting the wall like a mad man with bare hands?? Are you out of your mind Pai! " Phayu shouts at him. Yes, he is out of his mind.
" Prapai....Are you alright?? Talk to me son ..." Prapai looks at Ohm with red eyes which are filled with pain and hurt
" Where did I go wrong?How come I hurt my sky to the point where he lost himself?? I, myself broke him completely..... How can I repent?? Do I even deserve his forgiveness??I.... "
" Ai Pai.... I know how you're feeling....I can understand...."
" No you don't! You can't understand me Phayu.... You can't feel what I'm feeling right now...."
" What are you feeling Prapai?? Tell me...."
" I....Pain.... I feel pain....here in head....in stomach....here and here ... Everywhere .... and here, in chest, it feels like thousands of needles stabbing in my heart at a time with such deep wound that I want to cut off that part.... it's paining uncle.. I feel so much pain that....that I feel like dying is easier...." Prapai sounds so broken. His words made Phayu cry whereas Ohm trying to control his tears. But unlike them Prapai has no tears which concerns Ohm
" What do I do uncle.... I can't bare this pain... I really feel like dying.... please do something.... Just take away this pain or kill me.... just do something...."
" Pai you can't die ....stop talking nonsense "
" You're right....I can't die. If I'm feeling this much pain then I can't imagine how much sky went through all these years.... I've to take all this pain and live my life with it. It's my punishment...."
" Pain can't be measured by time Prapai.... You and Sky both are feeling the same thing and you will the rest of your lives. The only thing you have to do is not keeping it inside you. Show it out. Show it to your family, show how you feel to your Sky, Just don't say it. Show it, show your feelings to every person whom you think you can rely on...."
" Can I?? Am I allowed?? Really?? "
" You can.... don't keep it inside you. Cry Prapai....cry your heart out. Scream how your lungs out and let yourself know how much you're hurting....for your Sky... for your son... for yourself.... Let it out Prapai..." And Prapai did. He did as Ohm said.
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! AAAHHHHH!!! " Prapai breaks down. He cried, screamed and let out all of his emotions that pent up in his heart. Ohm hold him letting Prapai cry.
As Prapai was crying his heart out, someone else is also crying so hard standing at the doorway. Sky ...it was Sky who's keeping his hands on his mouth not letting sound coming out of him. The only thing he ever wanted is to hurt his phi.... and today he did it himself. He's seeing his phi breaking down infront of him, his phi who only knows to smile, laugh, play around. His phi was always a happy kid who keeps others happy. But today his phi is shattered into pieces, torn and saddened and he was the reason.... Sky hates himself for being the reason for all of this. He wants time to go back so that he can stop himself from saying those things to his phi which resulted him to break into million pieces.
Sky cries uncontrollably that his knees give up and he's about to fall . But before that Porsche turned him away and pulled him into his arms, hugging the poor boy.
" Don't look at him sky....that will only hurt you even more.... You can cry all you want but just don't look at him...." Sky clutched Porsche's shirt and cried even more
Two broken souls, two broken hearts that are ripped to shreds, cried out and vent all their emotions. If only they do it in eachothers arms....
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Prapai was sleeping in his room as he was so exhausted. He feels his hands are wet and it stings. He wants to open his eyes but they felt so heavy that he just wants to forget everything and let them close. But then he heard a sound which is quite disturbing like a whimpering sound. Wait, someone is crying!
Prapai jolts open his eyes. He saw Sky putting ointment on his wounds and his eyes are flowing with tears. Prapai frowned.
" Sky?? " Sky looks up at him with his teary eyes breaking Pai's heart for umpteenth time in a day
" What happened Sky? Why are you crying?? " Sky doesn't answer instead he bites his lip so hard
" Sky.... Can you..." Prapai hesitates to ask
" Come here Sky...." He eventually asks spreading his arms wide. It doesn't even took a second for Sky to crawl into his arms. He jumps on Prapai like he was waiting for him to ask him
Prapai hugs him while stroking his hair continuously, trying to calm down Sky.
" Why are you crying ba-- Sky?? Can you tell me?? "
" Sky is sorry phi.... Sky is very bad.... Sky was so selfish....forgive Sky na..." Prapai frowns
" Why are saying that Sky?? "
" Sky hurted phi ...so much.... Sky doesn't want to....but did it anyway.... Sky is sor-- "
" Stop right there Sky....you have nothing to be sorry for...."
" No! I hurt-- "
" Shhhh.... first calm down Sky.... I want to say something. Will you listen to phi?? " Sky nods. Prapai smiles at him, wiped his tears while Sky is waiting like a child with deoy innocent eyes for Prapai to speak.
* * * *
RRRRRRRRRRRRRR
A phone call interrupted two people who are hugging eachother like their lives depends on it.
" Hello pa??.... Khaab pa ... I'll be there in five minutes.... Khaab...." Sky cuts the call who's still held tightly by Prapai
" Phi.... I've to go ..pa is waiting for me "
" Just five minutes more Sky...." Prapai says inhaling sky's scent like it'll be the last time he's going to smell him
" Phi ..."
" Oh just five seconds...no thirty seconds.... Just state like this for thirty seconds.... please Sky...." Sky lets him. They stayed hugging eachother that is not obviously for thirty seconds but to their heart content
#
" Uncle Porsche...." Sky hugs Porsche
" I wish you only happiness Sky.... Start fresh and live your life to fullest. Do whatever you want and don't let your past ruin your future. It's your life Sky, only you can decide what you want in your life. Whatever happened in past, it's not your fault, don't blame yourself... It's only a part in your life, move forward and cherish your life.... And yeah don't forget there are so many people who loves you and care for you. If something happens go to them, seek their help.... just don't keep it inside...."
" Khaab.... thank you so much... for everything "
" Thank you for coming into our lives.... We will miss you Sky ...."
" I will miss you too...."
Sky hugs everyone and bid good byes to them.
" Sky, don't you hug your Papa?? You should send him off na baby...." Saifah says to Little Sky. Instead of doing so, little Sky kisses ohm's cheek
" Take care of my dada's Sky, grand pa. Bubye...." He says and comes down from Fah's arms
" Where are you going?? "
" I've to take care of my dada ..." Jum shouts while running away
" Don't feel bad Sky.... he's just upset that his Papa is leaving.... He'll be fine in no time, don't worry " Kinn says to Sky who seems to be hurt by his jum
" Sky, can you wait in the car... I'll be there in a minute " sky nods and walked away silently along with Saifah and Pete
" Khun, I think you should check on Prapai...." Ohm looks very worried
" Huhhh??? "
" It might be emergency.... please go now " Kinn and Porsche didn't waste a second to run to their son even though they didn't understand what Ohm is saying
" Uncle, will you mind if I don't come with you?? I want to stay with my brother...."
" Why do I?? You need to be here Phayu.... Don't worry about us, we'll be fine. See you...."
" Khaab.... take care "
* * * * * * *
They reached to their new house which seems to be quite big from outside. A faint smile appears on sky's face looking at the house, his house which he bought with his own money. He feels proud of himself.
" Let's go inside Sky...."
" Khaab pa...."
As they reached to the main door, ohm presses the password then they heard a beep sound as telling them that the door is unlocked. Sky opens the door and walked inside.
" WELCOME HOME!!! "
" Shiyaa!!!! " Sky startles at the sudden screams and bursting of balloons
" Welcome to your new home Khun Sky Wasuthorn..." Sky smiles, he feels happy to see Rain and his other friends including King and Uea in his new house to welcome him
" Congratulations my friend....to your new home and to your new life...." Rain says hugging Sky which is gladly returned
" Thank you Rain.... " Sky says and thought,
Yes.... New life, indeed.
To be continued.......
How was it??
Please let me know what you think.... I'll be waiting for your feedback....
And next chapter will be late as I am so busy with so many things. I feel tired and couldn't focus on writing. I hope you guys will understand and will wait patiently for the update 🙏
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