-In these two days, he has made a lot of improvement, but he still doesn't feel like talking about what happened to him. It may take time. We are discharging him for the time being, but it is best if you keep an eye on him and stay close to him. I have the impression that he feels very lonely right now, try to involve him in something, maybe in the next few days he will open up to you. In the meantime, these are the medicines he needs to take. Make sure he takes them; it has already happened that some patients forget or do not want to take them. They might cause him drowsiness at first, be patient- the doctor said, giving Charlie a plastic bag with some medicines.
-Thank you very much- Alan replied.
-So, can we go?- meanwhile Jeff had finished changing and taking the things Charlie had brought him during those two days.
-All right, don't rush, we have time- joked Charlie.
Jeff did not respond and rolled his eyes.
-Come and stay with me for a few days, what do you say Jeff?" asked Charlie.
-No way! I'm going home- he answered offended.
-The doctor said it would be better if you didn't stay alone...-
-Why? I can live alone, thank you-
-Well...here...Jeff, I honestly don't feel like leaving you alone right now--
-What?! I'm fine, I don't need your help-
-Yes, but if I left you alone at home I wouldn't feel comfortable-
-Why!?-
-...-
-Ah, I get it. You think I will try to kill myself again, don't you?-he said wryly.
He was not angry and certainly could not be disappointed that they did not trust him. After what he had done, it was normal for them not to trust to leave him home alone.
-Charlie, I don't need a babysitter. Besides, you are together with Babe, I don't want to bother you and be the third wheel-
-You can stay with me if you want- Alan interrupted them.
-What? - Jeff asked, surprised.
-My house is big, I have extra rooms. And I'm alone, so you wouldn't bother me. If it would make Charlie feel comfortable, why don't you come to my place?-
-That's a good idea- added Charlie.
-So there's really not the slightest chance that I can go to my house?
-No- they replied in unison.
-Okay...- he finally huffed.
-So what do you want to do today?- Alan asked, finishing carrying Jeff's stuff inside the living room.
-Don't you need to go to the garage?
-No need. Way and Babe will take care of everything these days, I trust them-.
-Okay...- Jeff looked around.
The house was huge, very spacious. The kitchen immediately gave onto the living room. There was a huge sofa and a TV. Alan even had a swimming pool with a garden.
-So what? Are you hungry?
-No-
-You haven't eaten this morning, how about going out for breakfast? it's 11 a.m., it's not too late-
-I'm good-
Jeff didn't feel like talking, and he was bothered by the attention he was receiving. He just wished he could have spent some time alone, like he always did. Maybe lie on the bed and look at his cell phone or sleep. But apparently, that was exactly what the doctor had advised him not to do. She had told him to spend some time with friends, to go out, to find something he liked to do. The truth was that there was nothing he wanted to do. Usually, when it was sunny, he liked to walk outside, but now? He didn't feel anything. He didn't feel like it, he didn't consider it worthwhile. It was as if the day was all gray despite the sun in the sky.
While thinking this, he had forgotten that he had left Alan there waiting. He huffed in thought.
Alan noticed this and realizing that Jeff would never take the initiative for anything, he intervened:
-Ok, then I'll decide. Come on let's go-
-Where?
-You need to get some air and eat something good-.
When they arrived at Jeff's favorite café, the omega immediately understood what Alan was trying to do.
-Get the usual waffles?-he asked him.
-Ok...-
As Alan went to order, Jeff sat down in a corner.
There were other people there at the time, especially women and children. It was still very quiet, however. Jeff looked at them all, one by one. They all looked so happy, smiling, talking....he, on the other hand....was feeling more and more lonely...
-What are you thinking about?-Alan caught up with him.
-Nothing-
-Well then....what do you want to do next?-
-I...I don't know...nothing...I don't feel like doing anything-
-Okay...-
Jeff was not looking at him in the eye and his absent tone was making Alan worry.
-Here you go- the café lady brought them their orders.
Jeff looked at the waffles in front of him, without touching them. Usually when they came to him he would immediately start eating them, he loved them. Now he just didn't feel like it, his stomach was tight. He took his fork and began to play with them under Alan's watchful gaze. Finally he took a bite...they tasted like nothing. He couldn't even remember what they tasted like anymore, he only had the impression that the last time he had eaten them they were sweet, fragrant...the opposite of how they were now.
When he had wished he could feel nothing more, he had not imagined it could suck so much. Now how could he get out of it? He set his fork down on his plate and looked around.
-Are you not hungry?
-No-
-You usually like them...-
-Not this time-
Alan took a piece of Jeff's waffles and tasted them.
-Look how good they are. Try eating more of them-
-I can't taste them. I don't like them. You can eat them if you want to- -
What was that feeling? Jeff was beginning to feel uncomfortable. How had it started? The more he looked around, the worse he felt. Those people....why were they all staring at him?....and if they recognized him from the video?...
Ahahahah....is him....look at him, mom.....ahahah.....
Why were they all laughing? Jeff could only hear their laughter, their voices....they were definitely laughing at him. He felt judged, laughed at, embarrassed. He lowered his head and clutched tightly the fabric of the pants he was wearing.
Ahahaaha
Look at him!
Gross!
-Jeff, are you okay?
-...-
Jeff?!- Alan tried to shake him by one arm.
-Make them stop- whispered.
-What Jeff?-
-Please make them stop saying those things....- he said in a broken voice.
-Saying what? They are not saying anything- then he understood.
-Jeff, they're not saying anything about you. Look at me....Jeff look at me....it's all right....see, they're talking to each other....-.
-They're not making fun of me...?
-No, Jeff. They don't know who you are and they have no reason to make fun of you, okay?-
Jeff looked at them again. Alan was right. Why had he thought those things?
-I want to go home...-
-Okay, let's go- Alan helped him up, paid the bill and took him home.
-You need to take your medication, here-.
Jeff took them, they were three pills.
-Alan, can I go back to my house?
-Why? We said you would be here. Is something wrong?-
-It's just that...I want to be alone for a while...that's all-
-You know I can't, I promised Charlie. And you'll be better off here, you shouldn't be alone-
-I want to go home- he insisted.
-Jeff, please-
-I agreed to stay here because I knew Charlie would be super pushy, don't be pushy too-
-You thought you could persuade me to let you go?- he asked him.
-You can't force me anyway!-he wanted to leave, go back to his apartment, to his room, lie on his bed and think about nothing. He took his jacket from the sofa and headed for the door. He would walk home if necessary.
-Jeff! You can't leave- Alan held him by the arm.
-Let go of me! You can't keep me....here....I want...home...-his head was spinning, he couldn't put a complete sentence together. It was as if his mind was foggy, his eyes heavy. He barely staggered, but Alan caught him to keep him from falling to the ground.
-I...don't... my head...-
-It must be the medication. The doctor said they might make you feel a little tired initially. You'll get used to it and in a few days they won't have this effect-
-I don't feel....- he leaned his head against Alan's chest, who lifted him up and carried him to the room he had prepared for him. Jeff wanted to protest, but he couldn't; he was to tired.
Alan laid him on the bed, pulled off his shoes and covered him with a blanket.
-I don't want to...sleep-
-Take it easy, it will only be for a few hours-
-No, please....I don't want to sleep- Jeff complained.
-Jeff, it's okay, I promise, you'll feel better-
Jeff still held his arm tightly, he didn't want to let go. He didn't want to lose consciousness, he was afraid. He didn't want to go back to seeing everything black, not like that.
-Stay...- he whispered.
-What? -he hadn't heard.
-Don't...don't go....away- he said before closing his eyes.
Alan still had his arm tightly in Jeff's grip even though it was getting weaker and weaker. He sat down on the bed beside him and pulled his hair away from his face.
-I'm not leaving, don't worry-
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I hope you are enjoying the way things are unfolding.
In the next chapter we will have some slightly nicer moments between Alan and Jeff, I promise ;)