Freen was momentarily distracted form her dance when she heard a noise. Nam had tripped over something. She excused herself from where she was dancing with Prise, Billy and Babe and walked towards her over-enthusiastic, drunk friend Nam.
"Are you okay, P'Nam?" Freen said with mirth.
"I'm finnneee, nongg..."
"I hope so..."
"I'm going to kiss her today, nong!"
"Who?"
"Mind!" Nam said with a confident smile. Staring into the distance.
Freen caught her line of sight and saw her staring at Mind hungrily, Mind who she now noticed was talking to Becky.
"You should kiss her too na?" Nam said lazily.
"What?!?" Freen said in shock.
"Becbec. You should kiss Becbec. I'll kiss Mind!" Nam said.
Freen laughed. Her friend never filtered herself, and under the influence of drinks, she was worse off.
Freen stared at Becky. She wanted so bad to go up to her and kiss her. After that one kiss they shared, Freen couldn't stop thinking about whether Becky was finally letting her in. Even with her anger and all of it.
"Let me get you a glass of water." Freen told Nam, wanting to go over to where Becky was with some excuse so that she could start a conversation.
But Nam clearly didn't pick up on that. "No, you stay put, I'm getting you some more beer, birthday girl. You need liquid courage for a kiss!"
Freen wanted to stop her, but was distracted by a call on her phone, it was her Mae again. Freen hurried outside to take it.
//
"So. You were saying Freen has never mentioned a lover?" Becky said as she took a big sip of her drink in one go, resuming a conversation with Friend.
"Oh no, she did mention a name once, but I don't think it was yours, Becky."
"What do you mean?" Becky was now curious to know what Freen had talked to Friend about. She had a lover?
"I don't know... I think she mentioned a guy's name once... uhhh... Heng... Cheng..."
"Seng." Becky said for her.
"Seng! Cai! Seng..!"
Becky would have liked to blame the feeling in her tummy on the excess alcohol. But deep down she knew, it was back. The anger. The whole reason she didn't want to be here today.
Flashes of Freen's phone came back to her, of when she saw those messages from Seng, of when Freen didn't deny that it was true, of how Freen may have taken off her locket while taking her clothes off for him. Becky's fists tightened. Friend was still talking, but she couldn't care less now.
She didn't want to be here. She didn't want to look at Freen, she didn't want to be anywhere near her, and she didn't want to talk to her either. She was about to excuse herself and leave, when Nam caught onto her hand and Friend's and pulled them forward saying, "Time for truth or dare!"
Becky's eyes caught Freen's entering through the door with her phone. Okay, fine, she'll stay, she thought, but she wasn't going to make this easy for anyone. Especially not Freen.
"We'll be right there, P'Nam." Becky said with a lazy smirk. She then took Friend's hand, it surprised even Friend. And said, "Save me a spot near you, I'll be right there."
It was 11 pm now, the music was turned way down low, and everyone was seated around the living room, laughing and talking.
When Becky joined the group, Freen had her eyes on her, wanting to get her attention, wanting to signal if maybe they could go somewhere and talk. But she was taken aback when Becky saw the empty space between Freen and Nam, and chose to walk through it and go sit next to Friend.
Freen would have taken time to overthink it, but she had something else to worry about now. The minute Becky took a seat near Friend, Friend put her arm through Becky's and leaned in on her shoulder, drunk and light-headed as she was.
What surprised her further was Becky's chuckle at her. Becky wasn't pushing her away or awkwardly or politely asking her to respect her personal space.
The entire night Freen had been wondering if she had drank too much. Now all she could think about was why she hadn't drank enough. She hated that she had to sit and watch this happen right here. Becky was punishing her. And she wondered how much of this she was expected to take. After yesterday, she had thought that maybe they were past the phase of punishing Freen. But clearly, it wasn't over.
Everyone took turns spinning the bottle, most picked truth, some picked dare, it was all fun and games, but Freen couldn't bring herself to enjoy. She was a little too distracted with the way Friend and Becky touched each other now and then.
Nam had been sipping on water now for a while, and she could see Freen's discomfort. "Listen, nong.. it's your party, you can end it whenever you like." She whispered to her.
Mind didn't need to hear what Nam was saying to nod in agreement towards Freen. They could all see Becky was quite drunk and she would probably regret all of this later, but it would leave a lasting scar on Freen's heart.
The bottle was now pointing at Becky.
"Shoot!" Becky said.
"Truth or Dare..?" Heng asked.
Becky smirked. "Both."
Freen took a long sip of her drink.
"Okay kub, truth first, are you over Freen?" The question was bold. Heng was super drunk. Nam gave him a death stare.
"Of course, a long time ago in fact. I could give you phone numbers of two fine young ladies if you'd like to know just how over her I am!"
The group was mildly surprised at her answer, but they hooted and cheered nonetheless. Freen stared straight at Becky. Trying so hard to reach some place of her that would realize what she was doing right now.
Becky had hinted once before that she may have been with other women in the time they were apart, but saying it out loud this way, almost in a manner to shame Freen, that was harsh. Tears were already threatening to show.
Nam placed her hand on Freen's thigh, needing her to hold it together and also wanting to offer some kind of comfort. While Mind didn't know how to react towards Becky. She understood why Becky felt she needed to act this way.
"Make that 3 actually..." Becky said, her eyes directed towards Freen, but her hand now making its way around Friend's and pulling her into her side.
Freen looked away. She couldn't watch this. And she couldn't let Becky do this to her. She may have made a stupid mistake in her life. She probably deserved a whole lot of pain for it. But this, this was just too much to face on a day like today. They were supposed to be celebrating her birthday.
"Guys... I think we should call it a night na!" Nam said out loud, wanting to end the party.
But an oblivious and drunk Opp spoke up saying, "Oh come on, at least let her take up her dare too!!"
Nam sighed in frustration, then someone called out, "Kiss her! Kiss Friend. Prove it!!"
Becky laughed. Heartily. She then looked at Freen. Freen wasn't sure why, whether she was looking to make sure she was watching, or looking to check that she was not. But Freen's eyes were watery now, and Becky couldn't see that through her drunken haze.
She leaned in and let her lips find Friend's in one heated kiss.
Freen watched her world shatter around her. She deserved this. Hadn't she done the same to Becky? All those years ago. Then, she was in a relationship with Becky and she cheated on her.
Here, Becky was not tied to her in anyway, but it still hurt so much.
"Okay, you don't have to watch this, nong!" Nam said in a hurry and stood up before Freen, reaching out a hand to her and pulling her to stand. "Come on na.." Nam tugged on her hand and led a speechless, lightweight Freen upstairs in a hurry.
//
When the hooting and commotion round her stopped, Becky felt dread pool low in her tummy.
These lips were unfamiliar and wrong. These lips were strange and not the ones she had wanted at all. When she pulled away and looked at the woman before her, she sighed. She then looked around in a haste to find Freen, but caught the last glimpse of Freen's feet at the end of the staircase. Becky reached out for her drink and took 2 more sips when Mind tried to take the glass from her.
"I think that's it for tonight, Becky!"
"Fucking don't phi. I'm fine!!"
Mind crouched down before her. "You're not! On any other day I would have understood. What she did to you was wrong. But today's her birthday, in case you've forgotten. The least you could have done was not pushed your tongue down another woman's throat right in front of her!"
"Leave me alone!" Becky whined, taking another sip from her glass. Her free hand reaching out to hold Friend's.
Mind took one look at Friend and saw she was too drunk too. She'd probably pass out way before Becky does.
"Do you have someone who can drop you home?" Mind asked the young girl.
"I'll drop her home." Becky interrupted before Friend could speak.
"Nu, you can't even walk straight right now!" Mind told her bluntly.
"We'll take a cab. I don't want to be here right now anyway." Becky said.
"Fine!" Mind said. She hated that she had to be so firm with Becky, right now of all times, Becky needed a friend. Not Friend. But her stubbornness needed to cool down.
//
Nam was holding Freen, a crying Freen who couldn't bring herself to understand how much pain is enough pain. While Nam kept insisting she didn't deserve to be treated this way, Freen insisted that maybe she did deserve it.
Maybe this is all that's left for them. Maybe this is all that can become of them. Becky hurting Freen. Becky giving Freen a taste of her own medicine.
The heartache she felt from watching Becky kiss another woman, nothing could ever hurt as much. She'd always know she'd caused Becky pain that night 4 years ago, but today she could feel it. Becky had done it. She'd manage to give back the pain she received.
There was a knock on the door, it was Mind.
"Freen ka.. you should eat something na." She said as she stepped inside.
Freen now furiously wiped at the tears on her face, sniffing and bringing her cries to a stop. "I'm fine, phi. I should go back down and say goodbye to everyone."
"That's okay. They've left, nong.." Mind said.
"All of them." She added.
"How is P'Friend going home?" Freen asked, partially because she genuinely worried about her impressionable drunk intern, and partially cause she wanted to hear what she already knows may have happened.
"Becky's dropping her home.." Mind confirmed.
Freen let out a shaky breath.
"I'm sorry. If I had known she was going to act out this way, I would have tried to do something when I saw how drunk she was, nong." Mind began to explain.
"It's also partially my fault, I gave her so much more to drink even after knowing she'd been drinking the whole day..." Nam said.
"Both of you, this is unnecessary. Stop taking my side on this... I've caused this. I messed this up. I deserve this pain." Freen insisted. "I'll be okay na. Really. You'll should probably get to bed too."
They nodded, and said goodnight and began walking out of Freen's room. Nam stopped at the door, then came back to Freen and spoke,
"Are you sure, nong? I could sleep with you tonight if you'd like."
Freen laughed then. "Are you the same P'Nam who just a few hours ago told me she was going to kiss the girl she's been falling for tonight?"
Nam smirked.
"Stop worrying about my miserable life. It's about time you start putting your own heart before mine. Go, kiss her senseless, P'Nam." Freen said with a warm smile.
Nam squeezed her shoulder and left.
//
Mind stepped backwards out the door, giggling and teasing Nam's lips with her own.
"You don't have to leave.." Nam whispered to her lips
"I do. We're still a little buzzed and I want to be able to remember making love to you."
"Who teaches you to say these sweet things na? Who?!" Nam said, exasperated.
Mind laughed and kissed her once more, and let her close the door before her. She turned to walk down the hallway, when she saw a figure sitting on the staircase.
Becky.
Mind rushed to her side and sat beside her. She was crying, bitterly. Mind put her arms around her and pulled her to lean on her shoulder, and Becky broke out even further. Mind felt her own eyes tear up. She really wanted this whole thing sorted out. Even if it meant that they end things for good. She hated how much pain it was bringing to both of them.
"I messed up, phi..." Becky said.
"It's okay na.."
"I MESSED UP!" She said louder.
"Ka... you did." Mind said to her. "But so did she."
Becky nodded, still crying into her shoulder.
"I'll help you get through this... okay?"
"Ka.." Becky said.
"Do you want to come sleep with me? Or will you be going inside?" Mind asked her.
Becky looked up at her. "I want to apologize. To her. For what just happened."
"It's really late, nu. I don't think you should go to her right now."
Becky nodded, but she looked towards the door.
"I want to be here, when she wakes up." Becky said.
"Okay," Mind said. "Okay ka."
To be continued.
Freen and Becky will have serious talk tomorrow, about what actually happened two weeks before the cheating 😉 Sorry for any mistakes, thanks for reading! ❤️