Sorry about the brief hiatus, I was getting burnt out and this story is too important to me to rush it! <3
Kenny hated mud.
Sort of a random hate.
He hated how it oozed under every step that trampled over the muck. Even the feeling of it under the soles of his beat up shoes was enough to make him cringe.
Unfortunately, the entire walk to Stark's pond brought him nothing but broken sidewalks, and mud. It put Kenny into a funk - along with the other things going on, of course.
After school finally ended, their attempt to get Stan off the couch had been a pain in the ass. With it already being a difficult enough task by itself, Craig made it even harder when he refused to help Tweek and Leo save the drunk idiot from tumbling down the stairs; now, the whole mood of the group had shifted. It seemed like Kenny's mood rubbed off on them, too.
Kenny hadn't noticed that Leo spent the entire day drowning in his anxiety. Butters barely got to speak to him, and when he did, he only got short answers through puffs of cigarette smoke. Ah, the millions of distractions around them. It was making it hard to build a relationship.
That didn't change anything for him.
Getting distracted by his urge to be close to Kenny, Leo pulled him back from the group with a tug of his favorite orange jacket. He waited until he knew for sure the others weren't going to notice their departure, before he shoved him against the tree behind them, and passionately connected their lips.
He knew it wasn't the right time to pull his hair, yet Butters just couldn't seem to help himself. He needed to hear that low moan from his boyfriend. If they couldn't escape the detrimental things weaved through their lives, Leo wanted to memorize everything about him.
When they parted, Kenny was breathless from the look in Leo's eyes. His pupils were larger than normal, almost swallowing the overpowering light; Kenny held him firmly by the hips as he kissed him again hungrily. It was unbelievably dangerous how sweet he tasted, even through the stain of a cigarette on his lips.
Butters had to back away from him. God, he didn't want to, but they were with a group of friends held together by a single thread. They didn't need an awkward moment to throw everything to the wind again. Besides, that wasn't the only problem with them continuing.
Ugh, taking it slow fucking hurts! Kenny had to bend over for a moment to relinquish the filthy things going on in his mind before he could look back at him. The cheeky grin that seemed to adamantly exist when he was around Butters cut through his lustful bliss: "I missed you too, Leo."
Smiling at his taller boyfriend, Butters took his hand to guide them back to the trail their friends were walking. Leo pulled slightly ahead of Kenny with a renewed energy, their hearts thumping rapidly in sync as they hurried to catch up with the group.
They just needed each other.
When Craig noticed their return, he declined to make a smart ass comment, for once. Instead, he surprised Kenny by giving him a thumbs up. Funny how much shit could change.
Cresting the final hill, they noticed they were the last ones to arrive at the park. Admittedly, it had taken them a while to get Stan ready for reality - especially when he decided to fight Kenny while he tried to get him in the shower.
With everyone staring at them, Kenny absentmindedly traced the new bruise on his cheek from Stan. He wondered if they were going to add to it.
Surprisingly, neither group moved a muscle, or said a word. Kenny didn't know if he should be counting the peaceful minutes. Whatever was to come, he decided to take a seat on the random large rock on his left. Leo immediately went to stand next to him, ready to run if Kyle decided to try to stab him again.
Since he called the meeting, Kenny figured he should start it. He looked towards the other side of the group - Tolkien, Clyde, Wendy (kind of), and Kyle - people he loved more than life itself. Then he looked back to his side where Stan, Leo, Craig, Tweek and Bebe waited for him to begin.
He could already tell this was about to be frustrating.
"I know we're all pissed at each other, but your lives are at stake." Kenny didn't look up for reactions, he only sparked a cigarette, signaling the beginning of a long, uncomfortable talk. "So, I'm setting it straight right now. You guys were right. I should've told you all what was going on from the beginning. I'm sorry."
With anxiety creeping up his throat, he looked over at Leo; he was comforted by the hand that fell into his like a missed puzzle piece. There was still unmatched silence despite his genuine apology, much to Kenny's dismay.
"This is all pretty fucked. We've been getting played for a long time, like, Cartman wanted to be the one to tell you guys the truth. They've been trying to drive a wedge between me and Leo this whole time." He took a long puff, a little unsettled by the fact that they weren't interrupting yet. "Leo is part of the Mob family, yes, but he doesn't want to be. His first assignment here was to spy on me and.. he couldn't do it."
The soft blonde boy next to him let go of his hand, pushing himself up to a standing position. Although his shoulders shook with anxiety, Leo couldn't bear for them to only blame him: "I don't want you guys to blame Kenny anymore! I could've said something too.."
Since it was Leo who decided to interject, Kyle chose to stand too. "Why didn't you?" His eyes were like daggers to Butters' face. If looks could kill, he'd be obliterated.
Pressing his lips in a thin line, Leo eyed the area around them for any uninvited listeners. Once he felt safe enough, he cleared his throat to continue: "T-There's some parts about the truth that you can't believe and," He looked at Kenny, and then back to Kyle again. "My family will try to kill all of you if they find out Ken and I are together."
Tolkien charged a few feet across the muddy ground towards Leo, the squishing sound under his heavy steps made Kenny jump up faster than anticipated. He wasn't much taller than Tolkien, but his homicidal, sharp eyes encouraged him to back off slightly. He hovered, obviously not done prying into stuff he didn't seem to want to understand.
"Things we can't believe? I-I don't even know what that means!" Tolkien looked to his side of the friend group with disbelief, waiting for them to agree with him. No one knew what to say.
Kenny sat back down next to Leo, grabbing his hand again as Tolkien continued to pace from a healthy distance. He was trying to be patient with his friends, and see from their perspective. With Tolkien being the only person even attempting to communicate, it proved to be more difficult to have an open mind. "There's things I can't explain to you guys because I've tried before. None of you have ever believed me."
Not-so-subtly distracted by Stan's half-slumped over form, Kyle blinked back into his famous sassiness: "Well, try again, dude."
Stan lifted his head to the voice like he hadn't sobered up enough to realize that his boyfriend was there. He didn't seem to know where he was, but when his eyes focused on Kyle standing across the muddy terrain from them, he let out a small, pained whimper. Recognizing his drunken agony, Kyle's eyes flooded with tears. He stopped caring about their stupid disagreements when he decided to tackle Stan in a hug, and cling to him with anguished regret.
Oh, thank fuck! Kenny sighed to himself as he watched their apologetic reunion. He didn't know what he'd do if they ever broke up, he knew that they were made for each other, and if they couldn't make it work, then the rest of them would be fucked. When they started making out fervently, Kenny came to the conclusion he had nothing to worry about.
The gang unanimously agreed to give Stan and Kyle a few minutes to reunite when they continued their makeout session unapologetically. Kenny needed them to be able to hear him, anyway.
After the boyfriends had their moment, everyone seemed perplexed by the previous statements. They were on the edges of their semi-seats when Kenny started pacing by the pond's edge. He had to, this was going to suck. "You've all seen me die hundreds of times, but I can't seem to stay dead. Told you before, like countless times. You never fucking remember.."
Sitting close to him with Kyle secured to his lap, Stan poorly attempted to stifle a laugh. "W-What?"
He rolled his eyes. It was the same response Stan had every time. "I'm immortal. That's why I didn't want you guys involved, 'cause you're all mortal."
There were some more uncertain laughs tossed around. Clyde was the next one to speak up, unfortunately: "Uh, don't you think we'd remember something like that?"
"Dude, I just said I've told everyone before. More times than I can count! Even recently you all watched me get hit by a car!"
Craig snorted. He didn't like illogical things. "That's impossible, Ken."
Kenny lulled his head to the side to look at Leo, and met the same expression he knew he sported too. Butters finally got to see first hand how extremely frustrating his life had been. It was lonelier than he ever imagined.
They obviously didn't believe him. They were discussing it right in front of him, too.
"He's not Cartman, why would he lie about something like that?" Wendy stridently countered whatever Clyde had said, earning a small smile from Bebe.
Even though Kyle was distracted by his unrelenting embrace with Stan, he found a spot to jump in: "Kenny, we don't trust you enough to just take your word for it."
He chuckled despondently. "Guess that's fair. I don't have a way to prove it, either." Attempt 77 of telling the gang about my immortality is looking to be another fucking failure..
Leo had a way though. Admittedly, he'd forgotten about it until then. Especially since it seemed like so long ago now, before he knew anything about Kenny.
After the first time he watched Kenny die and resurrect, Butters wandered the city for hours aimlessly; he came across something that was guaranteed to prove that he wasn't lying. If that didn't work, Leo had one more piece of evidence back at the old library. He would only use that as a last resort. There were some things he just knew would piss Kenny off beyond belief.
"Ken," Leo interrupted the tense silence - everyone's attention snapped to him. "I-I know how we can prove it."
They were all intrigued. When he got up without an explanation, they followed.
Luckily, it was a short walk to the old cemetery. The closer they got, the more the others recognized the area. It was part of what once was, and what would never be again. Echoes of their optimistic past surrounded them with every step.
Once Leo moved the overgrown plants away from the headstone, Kenny felt his skin erupt with goosebumps. He had forgotten that it was there - his headstone from one of his deaths at eight years old. It had been the only time in his life when they could afford something like that.
The gang stared in disbelief, the wind whipping around them filling the lethal silence. Even Craig had trouble finding a logical argument in this. There was even a damn, weathered picture of eight year old Kenny taped to it.
He stood at the back of the group, with his hands balled in the jacket pockets hung at his sides, while he watched them all try to take this in. When they all turned toward him slowly, their faces pale, even against the cream stone, Kenny knew this was different. They saw something this time. This wasn't like one of his deaths that they witnessed, they could possibly remember finally.
"Do you.. Do you guys believe us now?" Although he had done this so many times before, Kenny couldn't bear to meet their eyes.
Stan rubbed his face a few times, looking between Kenny, and his headstone. It didn't help that he was still a bit drunk. "I- Uh- Well.. Dude, what the fuck?!"
Tolkien placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to provide some comfort. With everything out in the open now, the pieces were starting to connect for him. Tolkien had been a dick. "So, what you haven't been saying is that you didn't tell us because if they kill you it's no biggie. If they kill us.. we stay dead."
"Basically, yeah." Kenny nodded to Leo with some uncertainty about the next part he needed to explain. At least they were listening. "Um, but the new problem is that it doesn't seem to matter what choice we make. They're gonna try to kill all of us."
Clyde started crying as he fell on his knees dramatically at Kenny's old grave. Bebe rolled her eyes at him, moving to stand next to Wendy and avoid the idiot she dumped. She was concerned about Wendy anyway, she had been frozen staring at something so completely unexplainable, she couldn't come back to reality. With Bebe next to her now though, rubbing her arm soothingly, she accepted that there were things beyond her comprehension.
Seemingly just registering what Kenny said, Kyle threw up his hands, unable to contain his yelling: "Then you could've told us!"
"Holy fuck! I didn't know, or I would've!" They all went silent again at his aggressive tone. Kenny sighed, he didn't know why he always did this, he thought he'd overcome that angry bullshit. "I-I'm sorry. I really was in the wrong, but I didn't do it because I don't trust any of you. I didn't think I'd make you feel betrayed.."
What were they all supposed to say to that? No one had a single damn clue.
"B-Butters, do you remember Kenny dying, man?!" Tweek shouted unexpectedly, twitching next to a very confused Craig, who hadn't looked away from the headstone. He held an unreadable expression, as always, but his shoulders were tense as he continued to stare.
Leo scowled as the memories replayed in his head. Only scenes of brutal death, and pain; he had to grip Kenny's hand tightly to remind himself it wasn't happening again. "Yes.."
Kyle couldn't stop the gasp from escaping his lips. Every shred of anger he felt for Leo evaporated like it never existed; it woke him up to how little he knew about Butters. Kyle had been desperate for him to die horribly, hoping that his family would feel the same agony that he did everyday. Now, knowing that Leo had watched Kenny, his super fucking best friend, die repeatedly - Kyle became crippled with the weight of his guilt.
Everything came washing over him: His dad's murder. His mom's addiction. Stan's crippling abandonment issues, and alcoholism. His own rage. His hatred towards all the wrong things. Kyle barely recognized himself. His pale hands were stained with uncertainty, and fear.
Running a few feet away from the gang, he lost what was in his stomach.
Kenny stood next to him protectively, rubbing his back as he continued ejecting the anguish. He could barely breathe as he choked on the sobs. But, Kenny was there, after everything, just like when they were kids. Kyle had been so quick to toss him aside because of one secret - one secret that, in the end, hadn't mattered anyway.
Since he had been so mentally fucked up from the surfacing of his trauma, Kyle wouldn't have blamed his best friend for kicking his ass. Instead, Kenny understood his pain. Even though Kyle had tried to murder the person he loved, he accepted him.
"Ken, Butters," His body rippled with sobs as he held the water bottle Leo handed to him. That was another thing in itself now too, another reason to feel guilty. Butters was a kind person who had been subjected to a life he didn't choose. "I'm so, so fucking sorry!"
This wasn't how Kenny thought things would go. He fully prepared to take whatever beating was coming to him, but they actually listened to him. After everything that had been said in the last week, Kenny stuttered in his reaction. To think, he had been planning his apology for days now, yet he hadn't planned on how to react to one of theirs.
He didn't care about any of that shit anymore. Kenny pulled him into a brief hug, acknowledging that they both made mistakes: "Ky, it's okay."
Stan approached his hugging best friends as he sobered up, reeling from the reveal of Kenny's immortality. He rubbed Kyle's back soothingly as he stared at the kid he grew up with in shock; Stan found himself continuously amazed by their ability to work through anything.
While the gang listened to their exchanges, they felt the effects of their experiences in this lifetime. South Park had devolved into a pit that attracted traumatic battles that were nearly impossible to win. They were stuck in survival mode - everyone had been trying to come out on top.
Finally understanding what Kenny had been dealing with his entire life, they realized exactly how much he had done for them. Even back when they were kids, they guessed he saved them countless times. How many times had Kenny truly died for them?
Despite all of this, it didn't eliminate their trust issues. Those issues went beyond what Kenny could control, and he was okay with that. He would prove himself to them over, and over again if he had to.
And they knew better now; Kenny had their backs through life, and death.
After a few minutes of desperately trying to soothe his own breathing, Kyle took a step back from the group hug he had been secured in. They were still in the cemetery circled around Kenny's grave though. He had to turn away from the headstone to share why he came so close to losing his mind.
Kyle rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans as he tried to find the words to ask for help: "Um, guys, my mom is addicted to opioids.. and it's getting really bad." The words were finally spoken out loud. They all knew my mom wasn't stable, but to hear it from Kyle directly was jarring. He started shaking, too, as he realized that it was truly a part of his life. "I need help figuring this out!"
Kenny and Craig exchanged a look. They knew what it was like to watch a parent fall into that type of self-destruction. Since it was the first time he had managed to tear himself away from the illogical gravestone, Craig flinched as he tore his eyes from Kenny's. He felt like he didn't really know the guy he called his best friend. It scared the shit out of him.
With this plea, Kenny knew he had to lead them once again. Even though they still had unresolved shit to work through, he was more than okay with it. "Ky, what do you need from us?"
While Clyde was still crying on the muddy ground, they all muttered out some form of agreement to help. He noticed Bebe holding Wendy, and smiled a little. They were on the right path.
But, Kyle had his arms wrapped around his waist tightly; Leo recognized the anxiety. In spite of the last time they were close, Kyle had been trying to kill him, Butters didn't care, and decided to engulf him in a hug: "We gotta take down your dad's killer."
He hugged the smaller boy back, grasping at the back of his coat like it was his only sense of security. "T-Thank you, Butters." He pulled back to wipe his face of stubborn tears, and nodded agreeably at the statement. "Yeah, I don't think my mom will listen to me unless I can give her something about my dad."
Kenny smiled softly at the scene of one of his best friends, and boyfriend hugging. Everyone had officially been connected in his life, in more ways than one. He buzzed suddenly, motivated by the implications that they could put their trauma to rest.
Poking at his boyfriend's side a few times, Kenny sported his toothy grin: "Leo, cutie pie, you've got a place, right?"
His eyes twinkled at the nickname, he would never get tired of hearing it. "Right!" Leo rubbed his hands together nervously, biting his bottom lip as all attention turned on him. "I have some evidence at the old library, guys. Um, Ken and I made some interesting discoveries!"
Clyde had finally stopped crying long enough to hear what was going on. He jumped up to his feet, ignoring the mud caked onto his jeans. "Let's fucking go!"
Appreciating the newfound enthusiasm after everything, Kenny chuckled. He really, really hadn't expected things to go this well. Except, Tolkien was still a bit weary - he kept looking around the headstone for some kind of discrepancies to prove Kenny wrong. He seemed pissed he couldn't find any, like he wanted any excuse to not forgive him.
This was beyond that, so Kenny ignored him to agree with Clyde, for once. "Hell yeah! Tomorrow, after school?" Everyone nodded, or hummed.
For now, that seemed to be enough comfort for Kyle. It reinstated the smallest bit of trust that he had clung to for Kenny, and he hadn't disappointed.
They could do this. They could fucking do this.