I was making breakfast eggs and bacon, waffles and pancakes. It's the same variety every morning. Jay and Alvin eat eggs and bacon, Alvin pretends his dying when he has waffles and apparently pancakes aren't his vibe. MillieFlorence has pancakes with fruit, Lexi Rose only has waffle because pancakes are inferior and aren't to be eaten by her because Justin said so. Aniyah is the easiest she'll eat anything we put in front of her.
Caleb sat on the baby seat thing on the island. I woke early every morning to early for most but Voights are early risers. The bacon in the oven, the waffles and pancakes cooking I'll put the eggs on shortly when it's closer for them to wake up. MillieFlorence stumbles in wearing her uniform she was our early riser. Lexi was her father's child, Alvin he just got up whenever he wanted same as Aniyah. "Hey Mumma" she said hugging me. "What fruit you feeling like this morning" I ask she shrugs "berries apple I don't know" "I cut up oranges earlier uh I think we have many berries in the fridge" she nods "oranges are good in the morning" she mused "pack your stuff I'll make you a plate" I said kissing her head "do we have fruit salad" "cut some up earlier it's in the fridge just got to put it in a container" she nods I go put the eggs on while it sitting the pancake stack and waffle stack on the counter.
I smile seeing MillieFlorence give Caleb a little berry what berry I couldn't tell which but I knew he would be fine. He has a little every so often. I still keep an eye on him like always though. I was putting the scrambled eggs on two plates when Jay walked in dressed for the day. He comes over kissing me "you know I could do this also you don't have to give them a variety of options they all eat eggs and if you tell them your only making pancakes or waffles they will eat" he said hugging me right as Aniyah skips into the room wearing a multi coloured tutu, a sparky gold top, and bright pink tights with silver high heels on. Jay looks and her then back at me. "Mumma" she said jumping into my arms smiling she was such a happy person in the morning. "That outfit is definitely going to get everyone's attention" Jay mused putting the bacon on the two plates for me. "You know you can't wear that to school right" I said she pouts as Jay walks to the stairs calling Alvin and Lexi Rose. Right after he walks back in Luis walks in looking around "morning we have pancakes eggs and waffles grab something whatever you like" Jay said walking over sitting beside MillieFlorence.
Before Luis can move Alvin barges past him taking him by surprise. While he is watching not knowing what to do Lexi walks in both dressed in their school uniform. "Eat quick we leave in twenty minutes" Jay told the two as the sat at the breakfast table. We had a comfy bench that curved with the window a round table in the middle and chairs around it. Everyone had their spots. Lexi Rose and MillieFlorence on either side of Jay, Alvin next to MillieFlorence. There was a space beside Lexi Rose for Justin. He was at the end of the bench normally despite waking up early like MillieFlorence. I was next to Alvin on a chair with Caleb beside me. Now Aniyah sits wherever she pleases she's the only exception to the rule. I grab a plate walking over to Luis who looked overwhelmed. Jay was busy with Aniyah who always tells him her dreams every morning.
"Come in whatever you like I'll help" I held Caleb on my hip as I lead him to the island where the food was. "Anything you want to eat also if you want something else let me know and we can add it" he nods grabbing some waffles before walking over to the table "you can't sit there it's Justin's spot" Lexi Rose snapped "you can sit here beside me" it may be rude but I couldn't be mad at her. Jay got up finished "ruz coming over to get her" he asked from the kitchen "yeah his bringing mak" I said "let's get you dressed for school" Jay said picking Aniyah who despite still having a plate of food we knew she was finished she was playing and talking more than eating. Jay normally finishes her pancake before leaving. Makayla is in the year above Aniyah. The two are good friends and go to school together. So since I can't drive currently Jay takes the older kids to school in his way to work, Adam normally comes past to see Caleb and drops Makayla and Aniyah at school. If he can't my dad comes past. I felt useless but I kept myself occupied with the plants, reading/studying.
"I think I would be pretty with my skirt" I hear Aniyah as Jay and her enter. "Go get your things we got to leave" he said to MillieFlorence, Alvin and Lexi Rose who get up to get their bags that were already packed. "I'm leaving work early so I can pick them up if need be...you can come to the district with me or stay here completely up to you" he said the last bit to Luis who clearly didn't know what to do. "I just hang here water the plants care for Caleb and read we can design your room although we can do that if you go he can just text anything" I said pointing to Jay attempting to help before realising maybe I'm being pushy. "I'm just going to change him come find be before you say bye" I said picking Caleb up and going upstairs to his room.
Caleb was dressed for the day rolling on the floor "his going to come to the district" I nod glancing at Jay "can you tell him I'm sorry if I'm pushy I don't know" "I think he knows but I'll tell him babe" he said walking over kissing my head making me nod. "Get him to find stuff he wants for his room if he gets bored...I can order anything what's his favourite colour I find find stuff to" he chuckles "you know I love you and how much you care despite everything I'll send you a message if he finds anything...I'm sure Voight will stop past as long as we don't have a case" I nod "my father is due to check on me" he chuckles kissing me glancing at Caleb before walking out. He hasn't really interacted with Caleb yet but I wasn't forcing him to do anything, I knew if it came down to the t he would help and protect him. It was a few minutes before Alvin, MillieFlorence and Lexi Rose came in, in that order. They all hugged and kissed my head, me kissing their heads as well. They also tickle and kiss Caleb who giggles in delight. "Behave Vinny I don't want a call for the school, same goes for you Lexi Rose" I call I couldn't help but smile hearing Alvin laugh down the hall. "You my beautiful moon keep being the bright smart girl you are" she smiles gleefully "Millie we are leaving" Lexi Rose screams making me laugh and MillieFlorence scramble down the hallways. "Shall we go find Niyah mister" i said picking Caleb up wincing slightly making me pause momentarily.
We found Aniyah in her room playing with her dolls. "Niyah can you get your bag we'll get it packed" she nods getting up running downstairs we had about twenty minutes before Adam would be here sometimes Kim. I follow her downstairs grabbing her lunchbox. "Do you want fruit and a sandwich" she gets on the stool that sat at the island, the stools only being used when homework is in play or now. "What fruit" "let's see we got oranges strawberries blueberries uh apples peaches" she smiles nodding "alright can you help because I only have arm right now" Caleb was getting tired making him clingy Adam usually puts him to sleep before he leaves. She nods helping me get the stuff out of the fridge. "There is no peach and I don't think there is any strawberries left in her do we think that was moon or Rosie's doing" "Rosie" she giggled. I take a cutting board and knife out before putting the strawberries in front of her. "Want to cut the strawberries I'll do the peach at first it as a cheeky stone in the middle" she giggles cutting the strawberries sure some were teeny tiny and others giant but that didn't matter she would be the one eating them. I cut the peach before passing it to her to make smaller. She put them in the small container with the already cut up fruit as I make the sandwich. "What do you want on it" "Nutella" she said smiling as she pushed the lid on her fruit container "go grab your water" I was cutting the sandwich into stars when there was a knock at the door. I knew instantly who it was Adam rang the bell as Makayla knocked "go get it it's Adam Bub" I said walking into the doorway to watch the two girls were so happy to see each other. Adam said hello to Aniyah before walking over to me taking Caleb. They had ten minutes usually a time the girls play. Sometimes I even make food for Makayla if they are running behind. "Aunty Lilah you know daddy said he take me skating can Niyah come" "of course we'll have to find a time when we can" the girl smiles nodding. I pack Aniyahs lunch box putting it in her bag making sure she had everything she needed.
"His asleep how are you" Adam said walking down the steps. "Bored but we're ok" I said "what about with the kid jays kid with Camilla" "Luis I don't know I'm trying its his kid basically the same as Caleb" "and Alvin" "we weren't together with Alvin" he nods "does he help with Caleb" "it's fresh" "the kid maybe what thirteen but it's the same...you just found out about him" I remain silent "I don't want to ruin it for Jay" "you won't also he isn't helping with Caleb" "his not complaining that you are here when he could say that you can't without him but his trusting me even if I really don't deserve it" "pretty sure sober you won't do shit and he knows that" Adam mused making me roll my eyes "all I'm saying is your still healing this family has been shattered beyond repair maybe treating the kid like jay treats Caleb isn't so hard might help you" "his so good with Vinny though" "like you said Alvin was different you weren't together and his always been a second parent how are the kids dealing with this" "moon is excited" "she's like a golden retriever she's happy about everything" Adam said cutting me off making me roll my eyes "Niyah is similar I think she scares Luis because she talks a million miles an hour" "she scares me don't blame him" "are you going to keep interrupting me" "ok I'll be quiet" he held his hands up. "Uh Lexi Rose is a bit standoff towards Luis but I think that's just more because of Justin" I pause collecting my thoughts "uh Vinny is the worst he doesn't want him in the family...his promised he won't cause trouble but who knows with that kid" "you sure it's the right thing to have him here if they aren't ok with it" "I want Jay to be happy it's bad already he won't help with Caleb not that I expect him to we are barely sleeping in the same bed I'm trying Adam I really am but I'm terrified my marriage won't survive this" "of course it will" "it won't he blames me for what happened to Justin and I was driving and then Caleb" "what happened was an accident the other guy got charged nothing you could have done would change it...if his mad about Caleb just remind him you forgave him for cheating while you were caring for his child you didn't seek me out the same way I didn't seek you out we were both drunk you could of thought I was him for all we know neither of us remember the events we just know what happened because of Caleb" I remain silent "he only sleeps in the same bed if the kids are in their otherwise I normally sleep in Caleb's room or Vinny room when his not there...he snuggles with Niyah a lot and she clings onto him the perfect excuse" I said "hey don't hate yourself" "how can I not I have to pretend to be ok for the sake of my marriage if dad finds out I'm not ok" I ramble "don't put yourself through hell for the sake of the kids you deserve better than that Lilah and if Jay can't see that maybe his not the man you love" I sigh "Lilah your kids are smart some even genius level they probably already know" he adds the never ending slinking feeling like a weight on my chest more heavy than normal after he points the obvious out. "You love him but if he" "he loves me" I assure him "how do you know" "he kisses and" "just because he kisses you and tells you he loves you doesn't mean shit you know this he could be doing it for the kids" I wondered if he was speaking the truth. He hated me for what happened to Justin I hated me for it how can he love me. I have a constant reminder of Camilla in my house, he has to see Caleb. "I think you need to talk to him go on a break or something" "the kids" "won't hate you they love you" he assured hugging me kissing my head before he left. "Mak Niyah come on time to go" he said smiling at me "love you mummy you pick me up" "remember I got hurt I can't drive if I'm feeling up to it I might walk but it will probably be dad uncle Adam or aunty Kim" she nods smiling "you get better and then pick me up" I nod hugging her tightly "have a good day" I told her "you to Mak have a wonderful day" she smiles hugging me as well. "Bye aunt Lilah" I watch them walk out with Adam. His words ringing in my ears, my life was in shambles. My son dead. I was broken.