(TW!! Mentions of abuse and drug usage!!)
It's been a few days. Nothing has happened much, at least not that I'm aware of. Everything here has been moving like it has been.
Nick beat the ever-loving fuck out of me when he found out how I mutilated Carter.
He broke a bottle on my head, beat me, threw me against walls, basically everything he does when he's pissed but times seven.
I haven't been allowed out of the room for the past few days because of how bad my bruises and cuts are.
Today was the first day I was allowed out of the room, so, naturally, I took this opportunity to go outside and smoke.
As I'm turning the corner, I hear Negan speak from behind me. "Rattlesnake! Awesome, just the hottie I was lookin' for." He walks up to me and puts an arm around my shoulder.
"Wanna pry some information out of one of your old friends?"
I raise an eyebrow, "I hate Alexandria but I am not torturing anyone." I turn to him, "Who do you have?"
He smiles, "Come with me."
Shit.
"But I was gonna smoke." I whine, walking with Negan down the corridor.
He smiles, "You can later. This is more important."
He leads me into the hallway with the cells, stopping me in front of the same cell Daryl was in.
Fuck, was Daryl found?
Negan uses his key and unlocks the prison door, creaking it open to reveal,
"Sasha?" I exclaim, looking from Sasha to Negan, then back to Sasha.
"Adrian." She says.
Negan smiles, "Enjoy." With that, he backs away, turning around and walking out of the hallway, leaving her and me alone.
"Why the fuck are you here?" I ask.
"Why are you still here?"
"Because you guys aren't the good guys."
Sasha scoffs, "Yeah, I'm sure Abraham agrees."
"Is he fuckin' here right now?" I hiss, crossing my arms.
She looks at me with hurt eyes, "God, what happened to you? He pushed everyone away, including Rosita, except for you and Damien and you join the person who killed him?"
I roll my eyes, "Don't. I'm not here to grieve over the loss of Abraham."
She narrows her eyes, "What about Daryl? Your husband-"
"He's not my fuckin' husband anymore, Sasha! The only person in that group who means shit to me is Alyssa. And until I can get her here, she's a part of the enemy."
Sasha's eyes widen with realization and she changes the subject. "What are those needle marks in your arm?" She pauses and scans my whole body. "God, Adrian, your whole body is basically black and blue!"
I crouch in front of her, my voice ominous and low. "I'm supposed to be getting information out of you, not hearing you lecture me."
Sasha stares at me in disbelief but she doesn't say anything. She looks away and shakes her head lightly before looking back at me.
"Good," I say. "Why were you here?"
Sasha doesn't respond.
"Why..." I lean closer. "Were you here? You could have gotten killed."
"Would you have cared?"
Would I have? Doesn't matter, nobody can know I would have if I would have cared.
"I would have cared if I cared enough to come home. And obviously, I don't give a fuck about that place. Now answer the damn question."
Sasha scoffs softly, "What do you think?"
I chuckle angrily and stand up, "You are making this way too hard! The fuck you think 'ima do? Rat you out?"
"Will you?"
Probably.
"No! Just-" I sigh into my hands, squeezing the bridge of my nose. "You tell me why you're here and I will answer one question of your's about me. Not Negan, not the Saviors, me."
Sasha hesitates, "Just scoping out the place."
"How did you know where we live?"
"One question," She says, narrowing her eyes. "My turn."
I groan quickly and sit across from her, the darkness of the cell almost consuming me completely.
"What are those needle marks from?"
"Whatever I have on hand. Dilaudid, heroin, sometimes Fentanyl but I normally snort that shit or use a pill, and sometimes Oxycontin. Only used that shit once. Dunno' if I'll ever to that again because," I whistle. "Holy fuck."
Sasha's eyes are widened and she looks like she's just seen a ghost, "You're using all of that?"
I scoff, "That's just the injections that I take. Anyway, my turn. Who were you with?"
"I was alone."
"Bullshit." I'm quick to retaliate. "How fuckin' stupid do you think I am? Damn." I scoff and shake my head, "Who were you with?"
"I was alone." Sasha repeats.
"Who are you protecting?!" I jump up and run my fingers through my hair and rub my eyes angrily. "Whoever you're protecting does not deserve to be protected, can't you see that? You're killers! All of you!"
"We are not killers! The Saviors are and you joined them! You had a chance to leave but you...Adrian, your eye."
"What the fuck about it?"
"It's bleeding."
My heart stops.
What? Is that even possible?
I put a cautious hand to my left eye and when I remove it, there's blood on the palm of my hand. "Shit, what the fuck?"
I walk out of the cell, closing the door and locking it behind me. I quickly run to the bathroom, a hand still on my eye.
It doesn't hurt, I didn't know about it until Sasha said something, maybe it's from Nick.
Once I'm in the bathroom, I run to the mirror and stare at myself.
My whole eye is red. There's a deep cut that's working on scabbing almost horizontally but a little diagonally across my eye, cutting through my eye as well.
While arguing with Sasha, I must have absent-mindedly rubbed my eyes and caused the mark inside to bleed, maybe it's a blood vessel.
"What was I supposed to do, Nick?! He ruined both of our lives and you know it!" I yell angrily.
Nick grabs an empty beer bottle and smacks me across the face with it. The glass shatters and I can feel it pierce my skin. Something pricks my eye, must just be a small shard.
"Carter is my best friend! He opened my eyes, he didn't ruin mine or your life!" Nick screams in my face, wiping the blood from my cut and smearing it.
Oh, that's right. That's what happened.
I'm sure he'll be thrilled to know he gave me this scar on top of my back scars.
"Adrian, get off of your lazy ass, let's go." Nick barges into the room as I'm slicking my hair into a ponytail with a bandanna around my hairline.
"Going...?"
"Alexandria you lard. We finishin' them." He grabs my arm and pulls me up.
"Why wasn't I made aware of this?"
"Because we've been talkin' about it since you mutilated Carter. Since you haven't been allowed out of the room, you missed it."
I narrow my eyes but keep my tone light, "Huh, okay. Sasha and Eugene comin'?"
Nick nods, "Eugene's doin' whatever the fuck he does, and Sasha's bait. Gonna use her to make Alexandria fall back into our arms." His eyes light up mischievously.
I nod, "Let me grab my gun."
Once I grab my gun, Nick and I head outside, loading up into one of the trucks, as well as the lot of the Saviors.
There's a coffin on one of the trucks, probably for Sasha to sit in until we arrive at Alexandria.
I can feel my heart beating slowly in my throat, it's the Fentanyl and Dilaudid I just took that's keeping my heart at a normal rate.
Once I'm inside the truck, a few seconds later, Negan approaches the truck. "Rattlesnake," He says, resting his arms on my passenger side open window.
"Negan," I reply.
"You're not gonna be mad if we have to..." He clicks his tongue. "Kill Sasha, right?"
I know he's not asking for permission, he's more telling me. But he's not wrong.
I don't think.
I scoff and shake my head, "I would have been mad at you for holdin' her in that cell if I cared at all about her."
Negan smiles and nods, "Good answer. Eugene's gonna talk shit to 'em, you're stayin' in the car because I have a ball feelin' they're not gonna listen to a peep out of you."
I chuckle and shake my head, "They've moved on from me, thank god."
Negan chortles and nods then hits the passenger side door and walks off, climbing into his own truck.
With one movement of his arm, we begin driving, all of us geared head to toe and holding shotguns or machine guns.
Once we arrive at Alexandria, Negan hands Eugene a megaphone so he can speak to Alexandria from the sanctity of the truck. He stands up on the bed of the truck that has the coffin and turns on the megaphone.
"All points are covered. Every contingency is already met. I come armed with two barrels of the truth. A test is upon you and I'm givin' out the cheat sheet." He says.
In front of the Alexandria gates, there's a car with stakes sticking out of the windows and another behind the gate. Rick stands on the watch post next to the gate and a small group of people stand behind the gate, ready to fight.
The trucks halt to a stop and Eugene continues, "H-Hello. I come salved with the hope that it is my dropped knowledge that you heed. Options are zero to none. Compliance and fealty are your only escape. Bottom-linin' it, you may thrive, or you may die. I sincerely wish for the former for everyone's sake. The jig is up and in full effect."
"Will you comply, Rick?" Eugene asks, his tone sounding more of a pleading.
Rick hesitates, "Where's Negan?"
"I'm Negan." Eugene replies.
Rick closes his eyes and shakes his head, everything is silent again as Eugene's words seep into everyone's brains.
Suddenly, Rick nods to Sasha and then drops to his knees quickly. Though, nothing happens. I chuckle quietly.
Just then, people dressed in all black that were hiding behind the walls, stand up and aim their guns at everyone's heads who are behind the walls.
"Who-"
"Trash people. Don't give a fuck what their names are, they just live in a goddamn landfill." Nick quickly answers.
"Like...an actual one?"
He scoffs, "Yes, an actual landfill."
Ew.
The lock on the gate then opens by one of the trash people and we all climb out of the trucks.
Nobody says anything, we all just silently approach the gate. I make eye contact with Damien and I cock my shotgun, standing next to Nick and a few small feet away from Negan, who has Eugene by his side.
The air is thick with tension, everyone is expecting to get their brains blasted at any moment.
I don't know why I'm not scared for the people behind those walls to get killed, maybe minus Alyssa.
Maybe I fully have come to my senses that they don't mean shit in this world.
"You ever hear the one about the stupid little prick named Rick who thought he knew shit but didn't know shit," Negan asks, Lucille sitting comfortably on his shoulder. "And go everyone that he gave a shit about killed?"
Negan points at Rick, "It's about you." He says, smiling. "You're all gonna wanna put your guns down now."
"No one drops anything." Rick quickly says.
He whispers something to the trash lady with a bob haircut before shaking his head angrily.
Negan speaks again. "You push me, and you push me. And you push me, Rick! You just tried to blow us up, right? I mean, I get me, my people. But Eugene? Adrian? They're two of yours."
"Ew, no I'm not." I say loud enough for Rick to hear but quiet enough that Negan doesn't get pissed.
Negan continues, "And after what Eugene did- he stepped up! You people...are animals. Universe gives you a sign, and you just," He holds his middle finger out to Rick. "Shove your finger right up its ass."
He chuckles, "Dwight, Simon, chop-chop."
With Negan's words, they both climb onto the truck with the coffin and grab it, standing it upright.
Negan climbs up the truck, "So, you don't like Eugene anymore. You sure as hell don't like Adrian anymore. You guys gotta like Sasha. I do, too." He gently knocks on the coffin with Lucille.
"Got her right here packaged for your convenience, alive and well."
I'm surprised Sasha went in there willingly. I wonder if she's finally come to her senses and joined the right side instead of the left.
"Now, I brought her so I wouldn't have to kill all of you, and not killing all of you could get complicated. See, I know there's a lot of firepower left in there, Rick. So I'm gonna make this simple." Says Negan.
"I want all the guns you've managed to scrape up. Yep, I know about those, too. I want every last grain of lemonade you got left. I want a person of your own choosing...for Lucille."
Negan's gaze moves to Daryl, "Daryl...ooh, I gotta get me my Daryl back. I see you. And the pool table and all the pool cues and chalk. And I want it now or Sasha dies, and then all of you. Probably."
Rick's face is cold, if looks could kill Negan would be dead in an instant.
Negan smiles, "C'mon, Rick. Just because I brought her in a casket doesn't mean she has to leave in it."
When nobody replies, he sighs angrily. "You know what? You suck ass, Rick. You really do. I don't wanna have to kill her but that's exactly what you're gonna make me do."
"Let me see her." Rick orders.
Negan chuckles, "Alright. Just give me a second. I might have to get her up to speed. You can't hear shit inside this thing."
Negan smiles then knocks on the coffin, "Sash, you're not gonna believe this crap."
Just as he opens the coffin, Sasha's growling, Walker figure leaps out, tackling Negan to the ground.
"Holy goddamn!" He yells, falling off of the truck and onto the concrete ground below.
Oh fuck.
I can't help but feel a little sad about her death. I mean, I knew Sasha. She was Abraham's girlfriend. I talked to her not even twenty-four hours ago.
And now around her eyes are purple and her actual eyes are orange-ish red. Her face is veiny and her growls are raspy and uncontrolled.
Gunshots begin to rain inside and outside of the walls of Alexandria.
I aim my shotgun and shoot, the jerk of the shotgun causing my shoulder to pop uncomfortably.
When everyone clears from the gates, we take this opportunity to run inside, bullets ricocheting off of walls.
"Go straight! I'll go right! Sneak attack their sorry asses!" Nick yells to me.
I nod and run straight as Nick runs to the left, my shotgun aimed at anyone I come across.
"Gun down!" I yell to an Alexandrian, their pistol aimed at my head.
He narrows his eyes, gripping his gun tighter.
"Damn it, I don't want to have to kill you." I tilt my head, "Maybe majorly injure."
When the man doesn't set his gun down, I shoot him in the thigh, grunting angrily as I do. With a groan of pain, he falls to the ground, placing his hand on the gunshot wound.
I run over to him and grab his gun, shooting him in the head.
I run down the street, gunning down two Alexandrians, killing them both. "Nick!" I yell, reuniting with Nick.
"Negan's about to kill Carl, let's watch this shit!" Nick says, his eyes glittering.
My blood runs cold but I nod, "Lead the way!"
Nick's footsteps run faster than my intoxicated ones. I shouldn't have taken that shit before this, could have done more damage if I was sober.
I lose Nick fairly quickly, having to decide whether to go left or right.
Damn it, Nick.
I round the corner to the right and stop dead in my tracks as I see Damien standing in front of me. He's not armed though I can tell by his broad stance that he's ready for anything.
"Damien, back the fuck away before I kill you." I threaten, aiming my shotgun at his head.
I hear a ringing in my ear, anticipation starts at my toes, and tingles all the way to my fingertips as if trying to tell me to walk away.
"Adrian put the gun down." He orders, his voice firm.
I chuckle, "You're telling me what to do? You think you guys are in charge? You already lost! You're fucked!"
Just as I put my finger on the trigger, someone runs up behind me and shoves a rag onto my mouth.
I grunt in anger and fear, trying to fight them off.
I manage to kick their leg out from under them but before I can see who it is, Damien pounces, running to tackle me but I catch him first.
I kick my leg out and kick him in the nose, punching him in the gut immediately after.
He straightens up quickly and goes to punch me but I grab his wrist and uppercut him. I kick his legs out from under him and grab my gun, aiming it at his forehead.
Just as I pull the trigger, I feel hands wrap around my waist and heave me away, causing the bullet to narrowly miss Damien's head.
"Get the fuck off of me!" I yell, kicking and punching with everything I have in me. "Nick!" I scream, trying to catch his attention but I know he can't hear me.
Damien stands up and runs at me, a white rag in his hand. Once he approaches me, two people next to the person who is holding me grab my arms and hold them down.
"Get off of me! I'll kill you! Nick'll kill you! "
"We know." Damien says, putting the rag over my nose and mouth and holding it there.
When I breathe in, I smell something almost like nail polish remover, it makes my nose tingle.
Once I feel my eyes getting heavy, I immediately know what that nail polish remover smell is.
Chloroform.
The last thing my heavy eyes manage to see is Daryl, Inejra, Alyssa, and Damien all looking at me. Damien and Daryl grab my legs while Inejra and Alyssa cover them.
And then, the world goes black.
(Third person POV:) "Shit go!" Damien yells, ducking as a bullet whizzes past his head.
"Did you see her eyes?" Alyssa yells over the gunshots, shooting her pistol at a nearby trash person.
"They were red and glossy! They looked heavy before we gave her the chloroform too!" Inejra yells, shooting at a Savior who had their gun pointed at the oblivious Alyssa.
"She was high!" Daryl says, grunting as he readjusts his grip on Adrian's dead weight.
"Shit, on what?" Inejra asks.
"How are we supposed to know? Probably everything! The cell's there!" Alyssa yells, pointing to the steps leading down to the makeshift jail cell that Morgan made a few weeks ago.
"Was she actually gonna kill you?" Inejra asks Damien.
"Yeah, yeah she was." He pants, gripping Adrian's ankles tighter. "We're boutta' run in the middle of this shit. Be careful, run quick!"
Ducking their heads, Damien, Inejra, Alyssa, and Daryl all run across the road and down the steps, Alyssa allows them inside the house that has the empty jail cell.
Once their inside and the gunshots are muffled, Alyssa unlocks the jail cell and Damien and Daryl lay Adrian on the cot, backing up to admire their successful kidnapping.
"She's gonna be pissed." Inejra whispers the obvious.
Alyssa whimpers at the sight of Adrian behind bars at her own home. "Look at her face..." She whispers.
She fully takes in Adrian's wounds. Her deep cut on her face, her split lip, her bruises and scratches. "Back to the beginning."
Inejra wraps an arm around Alyssa's shoulder and allows her to lay her head on her shoulder, hearing Alyssa's sniffs.
"Where'd the hell you find Chloroform?" Damien asks Inejra.
"We have an infirmary, idot."
(Adrian Walsh's POV:) When I wake up, the group who kidnapped me, along with Rick are outside of the cell.
My eyes are uncomfortably heavy and I can barely lift myself off of the cot.
"Get me out of here." I order through clenched teeth.
Anger creeps through my veins, causing my body to warm even through the chilly air of this cell.
"Get me out of here!" I scream, banging my hand on the bars of the cell.
"Who are you?" Alyssa asks, stepping closer to the bars.
I smirk, "Negan."
Her shoulders slump and she looks at Rick, her eyes widened in defeat.
"What's that mark on your eye?" Rick asks.
"Mutilated Carter," I smirk. "Nick didn't like it."
"Nick do that to you often?" He asks.
"Doesn't every man?"
"Oh, Adrian," Alyssa whispers. "No."
"I'm not here for a relationship lesson. Get me out of here and I promise not to hurt you guys too badly." I look at Alyssa and Inejra but don't say anything. They know I would never hurt them...
Right?
"Why did you stay with Negan?" Rick asks.
I scoff, "Why wouldn't I? You got Glenn and Abraham killed. You are the reason I was reunited with Nick-though, actually, I'd have to thank you for that. He made me realize things I never would have before." I pause and scan the group in front of me.
"This group...nobody means shit to anybody."
"You don't believe that." Damien says, the only mark from our fight being his split lip.
"Oh I do." I say. "I believe every fucking word. You callin' me a liar?"
"What did Nick 'make you realize'?" Rick interrogates, stepping closer to the bars and narrowing his eyes.
"What, about this group or about my trauma? Or both, I don't give a fuck. None of it's false so..."
"Everything." Rick says.
I smirk, "Well, he made me realize you're not the good ones. The Saviors didn't even know y'all, they just saw y'all on the streets and wanted your shit. Y'all killed their men in their sleep to get supplies and guns. Which resulted in Abraham and Glenn getting killed."
"What about your trauma?" Daryl almost interrupts me.
I narrow my eyes at the sight of him, "I was being dramatic about it all. Men are supposed to hit their girlfriends." Alyssa gasps and covers her mouth. "That's why you did it," Rick and Damien quickly look at Daryl. "That's why Nick does it."
"What about the rape?" Daryl asks, not acknowledging Damien and Rick's gaze.
"It's not rape if it's your boyfriend." I hiss. "The only people I've ever been raped by were the Claimers. Nick is innocent."
Daryl scoffs, "Innocent." He repeats quietly.
"Where's my backpack?" I ask, picking at my cuticles.
"We took it." Rick replies.
I quickly look at him, "Where's my...medicine?"
"You're not getting that shit back." He says.
I shake my head, "What? Yes I am. Rick, yes I am! I need that!" I scream, running at the bars and grabbing two of them with my fists, my knuckles turning white with anger.
"Are you with us or against us?" Rick asks, ignoring my screaming fit about my drugs.
"What about the weed? Am I allowed Weed? Weed's not a drug, it's a stimulant! It's-"
"Are you with us," Rick bellows. "Or against us?"
I narrow my eyes, "Against."
Everyone outside of these bars doesn't look like family anymore, they look like enemies. Animals. I feel nothing for them.
He shrugs, "Then you're not getting your weed back."
My eyes widen, "Wait, wait, wait! Okay, okay, I'll talk. But every time I talk I get a pill, deal?"
"Maybe. We'll decide that later." Rick says, shrugging.
I grunt angrily, "Give me the fucking drugs!" I scream, shaking the unmoving bars.
Alyssa whimpers and scoots back, Inejra wraps her arms around her.
"Give me the drugs! Rick, I'll answer your questions I swear! Just give me-" I feel something creep up my throat, something that hasn't happened in weeks.
Hot, salty tears prick at my eyes and my mouth curls into a frown.
"Rick," I croak, my grip on the bars loosening. "Give me the drugs." I sob, falling to the ground and backing into a corner, hugging my legs to my chest.
Seeing them all in front of me, the people that were closest to me, looking at me like I'm some sort of monster makes every wall crumble around me.
I thought I was stronger than this, I thought I wouldn't fall back into their arms. This is all happening so quickly. Too quick.
I look up from my arms and stare at Damien's split lip, tears pouring harder out of my eyes.
"I'm sorry, oh my god. Oh my god, I'm so sorry." I sob, digging my nails into my bicep.
Oh my god. What have I done? Who even am I?
I hear the cell door unlock and everyone minus Alyssa and Inejra walks inside, Daryl stays by the door as Rick and Damien approach me.
"I'm a monster. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god I'm a monster." I wail, pushing my nails impossibly deeper into my arm.
I almost killed my best friend. Before they chloroformed me, I would have killed anyone in this room in a heartbeat, with the exception of Alyssa, but now I'm sobbing in front of them.
What's wrong with me?
"Rick," I sniff and climb onto my knees. He scoots back a few inches as I crawl towards him. "Rick, I won't hurt any of you, I promise on Alyssa's life. But please, where's my Fentanyl?"
He gently grabs my shoulders and looks me in the eyes, "You're not getting it back Adrian."
I whimper and look at Damien, crying harder when I get a better look at his split lip.
"I did that," I whisper, fully forgetting the drugs. "I did that I-" My eyes widen and I look Damien in the eyes. "I tried to shoot you. I tried to-" I quickly back into my corner and hug my knees to my chest again.
Damien tries to come near me but I put my hands out, "No! No! Don't come near me." My voice sizzles out and I speak in a small squeak, "I could hurt you again."
"Adrian, the fact that you're crying over it right now shows that that wasn't you. That was Nick. That was all of his sick lies." Damien assures me, slowly inching closer.
I stare at him for a second, registering his face.
"...You don't mean shit to anyone! Whoever acts like they love you is faking it! Nobody loves you! Nobody loves you other than me, understand?!"
Immediately, the tears stop. My face drops and I narrow my eyes at Damien.
Rick and he notices the change immediately because they glance quickly at each other.
"Get away from me." I whisper, releasing my legs and standing up.
They both stand up as well, their bodies tense as I slowly approach them. "Get the fuck away from me. You don't care. None of you do!" I clench my hands into shaking fists. "You want me here for information! Not because you care! Nick's the only one who cares-"
"No, Adrian!" Damien yells, trying to get through to me.
"Nick's the only one who cares!" I repeat.
"Who was there for you when you overdosed?" Daryl quickly asks, approaching the three of us.
I don't respond.
"Not Nick." He says.
"Who ratted you out to the police when you robbed that bank?" Alyssa asks. "Nick." She answers her question herself.
"Who isolated you from Alyssa and your dad and didn't convince you that isolation is what boyfriends are supposed to do?" Daryl asks. "Nick."
"Who was there for you after the Claimers?" Damien asks. "Not Nick, us."
"Who ran to save you from those Savior kidnappers even though you're a badass and saved yourself?" Inejra asks.
"Us." Damien answers.
I begin to falter again. I open my mouth to say something good about Nick but I can't seem to find anything.
"We kidnapped you back because you'll die if you stay there." Rick informs me.
I don't reply, their words are all slowly seeping into my brain, slowly fighting everything Nick has convinced me of.
After a few minutes of silence, Rick approaches me. "Who are you?"
I slowly look up at him, "Adrian."
Damien smiles a big, gummy smile. He looks back at Alyssa and she's hugging Inejra happily.
Rick smiles, he goes in for a hug but I tense and back closer to the wall.
All men hit. All straight men hit.
"Back to the beginning," Alyssa whispers almost soundlessly. "Warned you." She whispers to Inejra.
He stops and holds his fist out, waiting for a fist bump. I immediately get flashbacks to when I saw him for the first time since the coma.
Rick holds his hand out to me in a fist, knowing that I don't like physical touch. I fist bump him and smile slightly. "I missed the shit out of you, honestly."
Rick's eyes light up with realization when I speak.
"I missed the shit out of you, honestly." I say, fist bumping Rick.