(TW!! Mentions of abuse, drug usage, and s/a!!)
I'm standing next to Nick, waiting for Negan and the rest of us to be allowed into the walls of Alexandria.
Where Damien is.
Where Alyssa is.
The bruises are visible, the abuse hasn't stopped-who thought it would? But, I don't know why anyone would care. It's a normal thing.
Approaches the gate, whistling brightly. He bangs his bat on the gate twice.
I still haven't figured out why he calls his bat Lucille or where Lucille even is. I've been too high or locked in Nick's room to ask.
"Little pig, little pig! Let me in!" Negan exclaims, waiting for the two gates to open.
Spencer opens the curtained portion of the gate, Negan smiles at him. "Well?"
"Uh...who are you?" Spencer asks, stupidly.
"Oh, you better be jokin'!" Negan chuckles, holding his bat up. "Negan, Lucille. I know I had to make a pretty strong first impression."
Behind Spencer, Rick approaches, his brows furrowed and his expression icy. He stares intently at Negan.
"Well, hello, there." Negan's smile fades. "Do not make me have to ask."
Rick sighs, "You said a week. You're early." He walks over to the gate and slides it open.
"I miss you." Negan chortles. A Walker growls from behind him. "Oh, Rick, come on out here. Watch this. Callin' it!" Negan yells, turning to the Walker with a grin on his face.
Rick watches as Negan smacks the walker on the side of the head and laughs. "Easy peasy lemon squeezy!"
"Alright, everybody." Negan addresses all of us. "Let's get started. Big day."
Rick looks at the dozens of us on the outside of the walls. I slouch behind a Savior so that he doesn't see me until he has to. Though, through the cracks of everyone's heads and shoulders, I can see him look at Daryl, horror flooding his eyes as he sees his battered form.
"Hey, Rick, you see that, what I just did? That is some service! I mean, we almost get turned away at the gate." Negan points to Spencer. "'Who is that guy, anyway?' Do I get mad? Do I throw a fit? Do I bash some ginger's dome in?"
My body tenses. I never really had time to process Abraham's death. Before being beaten, raped, and high on drugs in a span of around twelve hours.
"Nope. I just take care of one of these dead pricks that could've killed one of y'all." Negan twirls his hand, "Service."
He smiles brightly and hands Lucille to Rick, "Hold this." He says, walking into Alexandria. He beckons us to follow him.
Once inside, a few feet away from the gate, he stops. "Hot diggity dog! This place is magnificent! An embarrassment of riches, as they say. Yes, sir, I do believe you are gonna have plenty to offer up."
I scan the community. This place doesn't even feel like home. My old house has my clothes, my sister and Damien sleep there. My name is written, though painted over, on the walls. But, I feel nothing for this place. I feel nothing for the Sanctuary.
I don't feel like I have a home right now.
Rick turns to Daryl and begins approaching him, "Daryl, hey-"
Negan speaks sternly, "No." He quickly walks over to Rick. "Nope. He's the help. You don't look at him, you don't talk to him, and I don't make you chop anything off of him."
Rick doesn't reply, he just looks away.
Negan turns to Rosita, in a sing-songy voice is says, "Same goes for everyone. Right?" He leans into Rosita's ear.
She just glares at him before walking away angrily.
Negan whispers something to Rick and then begins walking. "Let's get this show on the road. See what kind of goodies you got in the cupboard."
"We put aside half of the supplies." Rick informs Negan.
"No, Rick." Negan quickly replies, turning back to Rick. "No. You don't decide what we take. I do. Adrian."
Fuck.
Normally Arat is in charge of this stuff, according to Negan. She's the only person on top of me. I guess because it's my old home and I know these people, he wants to demonstrate the power.
I look at Nick for permission and he nods.
I step forward, holding a pistol. "You gonna stand there with your dicks in your hand or what?" I pause when I see the look on Rick's face. His eyes wide and his mouth open at my swollen under eye, my bruises, and the power I have. "Move out!"
Everyone immediately disperses, going to grab whatever the hell they're going to grab.
Nick grips my arm, leaning down to whisper in my ear. "Do not leave my side." He orders, his tone low. Goosebumps rise on my skin.
I nod and he squeezes my arm tighter. "Okay." I stutter, remembering the rules.
"Where did you live?" He asks me.
I point to the right, "I'll show you."
He nods and begins walking, I walk stiffly next to him. Rick's eyes follow us as we walk away.
I look at the walls, the familiar rust on the corners. The List of names and the fancy houses.
I'm dreading seeing Alyssa, Damien, and Inejra. And everybody else.
But they did try to kill this group.
I chew on my bottom lip nervously, Nick wraps a possessive arm around my waist.
I point to a decent-sized house. I got a bigger one because I have Alyssa, Daryl, and Damien all living with me.
Who was living with me.
"That's your house?" Nick whistles, approaching the porch.
Alyssa, I love you, but I better not see you once.
"Yeah," I respond, walking up the steps and opening the door.
When I inhale, I get that all too-familiar smell of leather and flowers. Alyssa's lavender candle gives the house the flower smell.
Please don't be in here.
I breathe deeply and fully walk into the house, my eyes running over the ceiling, the floor, the furniture, and the steps.
I cautiously turn to Nick, "Please...don't go into Alyssa's room."
He raises an eyebrow, "Alyssa's still alive, huh?"
I nod, avoiding eye contact. Attempting to not get slapped after trying to tell Nick what to do. "Yeah, she's about fourteen now...I think."
Nick nods, "Still as pretty as before?"
I quickly look up at him, anger causing my ears and cheeks to turn red. "Excuse me?"
He approaches me, "Careful, sweetheart. I'm choosing to ignore that you told me what to do. But watch...your...words. I'll go into whatever room I want."
"Not...hers." I spit.
Slap!
My head jerks to the side and I sigh, my cheek stinging.
Figured that was going to happen.
"What did I say?"
I clench my jaw, "You're going into whatever room you want."
Nick chuckles, "Yep. Don't leave the house." He begins walking up the steps. I follow closely behind him.
He heads down the left of the hallway, going to Alyssa's room. Instead of going with him, I turn right, walking into mine and Daryl's old room.
It's the exact same way as we left it. My concussion medicine is on the dresser, and the clothes that I didn't want to wear are thrown on a specific chair. The med is all messy from us sleeping in it but not making it.
I sigh, my bottom lip quivering and tears well in my eyes as I remember the safety I felt in these walls.
With Glenn and Abraham.
I tense, sensing Nick's body behind mine. "Couldn't find anything interesting in there. And Negan probably wouldn't want me taking a teenager's underwear."
I narrow my eyes, still not looking at him as he stands behind me. "You looked through her underwear drawer?"
Nick chuckles, "I didn't mean to. I was just searching her drawers and found that one."
I now turn to him, looking up at his tall, broad figure. "Okay. Sorry, I didn't think of that."
Nick nods, smiling and licking his teeth, "Good response." His eyes look over the room, "This your room?"
"Was." I reply.
He chuckles, "That's right." He walks through the room and opens a drawer, grabbing the leather jacket Alyssa had me wear to the first Alexandria party.
"Hot fuckin' damn. I can't wait to see you in this." He tosses me the jacket, motioning for me to put it on.
I comply without a fight, sliding my arms through the chilly leather sleeves.
He smirks, "Damn." His eyes scan me uncomfortably. "How excited I am to get home."
I force a smile, "I'd have to agree with you."
Technically not lying.
Nick approaches me, cupping my face with his right hand. "You know I love you...right?"
I nod, "Right."
He smiles, "Good." He kisses me gently. "And..."
"I love you, too."
Technically not lying either.
He nods, "Hell yeah, you do." He cocks his head to the door. "Let's go search downstairs."
I nod and allow him to walk out first before I follow.
Once we're downstairs, he walks into the kitchen and starts searching through the cabinets.
After Nick finishes tearing the house apart, he grabs my hand, "It's boring in here. We should go watch the outside show." He wriggles his eyebrows and wraps an arm around my waist, nodding to the front door.
The front door Daryl hit me at.
When we walk out of the house and begin walking down the street, I hear a quiet gasp from the right of me.
My heart drops.
Fuck.
I slowly turn and lock eyes with Alyssa, Inejra, Damien.
"Adrian?" Alyssa squeaks. I see her eyes scan my bruised face and then lock onto Nick. Her eyes immediately widen from realization.
"Not again." She whispers, holding in tears.
"Holy shit, Adrian. You look like shit." Inejra murmurs.
I quickly look at Nick to make sure he doesn't do anything. He's standing beside me, smirking. "Who are they?" He asks me.
"Uh-well...Alyssa-"
"I know who the fuck Alyssa is, dumbass!" He yells, causing me to flinch slightly but Alyssa and Damien both notice it.
I sigh and chew on my cheek, "Inejra is the one standing next to her. Inejra Beaumont. And Damien is standing on the opposite of 'Lyss."
Nick slowly looks at me, "Damien?"
I nod, "Yeah."
"And is this Damien..."
"I'm gay." Damien hisses.
Nick narrows his eyes, "Oh? So...a fag?"
"Yo!" Inejra yells going to approach Nick but Alyssa grabs her.
Nick immedealtey storms over to her, sizing her up though she doesn't look afraid.
"Nick...back away." I whisper, putting my hand on his tense arm.
"Do not tell me what to do. I'm sure your cheek still stings from the effects of that last time you tried to." He looks at me. "Right?"
I nod, "Right."
"Ah, ah, ah." Negan tsks, walking up to us with Rick on his tail. "Back away from that kid, Nick."
Nick complies immediately, stepping away from Inejra and next to me.
Negan smiles, "Hello again, Alyssa."
"Why do you have my sister?" Alyssa spits, trying to hide her fear.
Negan chuckles, putting an arm around me and squeezing me. "Oh, well, your sister here, is now my top fighter. Isn't that right, Adrian?"
I soak in Alyssa's surprised and hurt face before nodding.
"Speak." Nick whispers through gritted teeth.
"Yeah." I quickly say. "Yeah."
"And why is that?" Negan asks, still looking at Alyssa.
"Because this group got Glenn and Abraham killed." I narrow my eyes, the manipulation of Nick immediatley obscuring my brain.
I lock eyes with Damien. He looks at me with a look of betrayal as he absorbs my words.
Negan nods, "That's right! See? Aren't you so glad I reintroduced you to 'ol Nick-y here?"
I nod, "Mhm." My eyes haven't left the group in front of me.
Damien knows of Nick because I've given him the whole backstory of my "trauma". Though, Nick made me realize it wasn't trauma, I was just being stupid.
And obviously Alyssa knows exactly who he is. I'm not sure if Inejra does.
Negan pats Nick on the back, "Nick. Why don't you accompany Rick and I to the armory? We were just headed there now."
Nick nods, "Adrian, let's-"
"Ah." Negan puts his finger up. "Just you. Adrian isn't coming with us." He waves Nick to follow.
Nick grabs me and pulls me close to him, "I swear to god, Adrian. Do not do anything stupid because you and I both know you're going to regret it."
I nod, "I promise."
Nick smiles and striaghtens up, "Lead the way." He says to Negan.
Finally allowing me alone time that's not locked in Nick's room, Negan, Nick, and Rick all walk away, heading to the armory.
I let out a shaky sigh of relief, my body relaxing slightly.
Alyssa runs to hug me but I back up, the effects of Nick already taking play.
"Adrian..." She whispers. "You don't...really believe we got Glenn and Abraham killed...do you?"
I scoff, the image of both of them being beaten to death playing over and over in my mind. I cross my arms, wincing as a bruise on my arm gets pressed by my hand.
"Negan didn't do shit to y'all. Yes, some of his people tried to kill Abe, Sasha, and Daryl on the road but they didn't know. They just saw them there and I guess felt threatened. You guys brought this upon yourselves."
Alyssa's shoulders slump, her eyes widen, and she opens her mouth in surprise and hurt.
"Adrian, what the fuck?" Damien takes a quick step toward me and without waisting a second, I grab my knife and point it at his throat.
"Back the fuck up before you end up like Glenn and Abraham."
He raises his hands and slowly backs away, his eyes never leaving mine.
"This group...is fucked."
"No." Inejra quickly replies.
"Yes, Inejra. It is. And y'all are too stupid to realize that."
Damien steps forward again. "Who the fuck put that thought in your mind? Negan?"
"No, Nick. He helped me realize how stupid this group is. How stupid it made me."
"Really?" Damien narrows his eys. "How'd he do that? Shoving a knife down your throat?"
I scowl, "Don't talk about Nick like that you asshole."
Damien laughs exaggeratedly, "I'm the asshole?!"
"Yes! Now back the fuck up before you're spittin' blood."
"Jesus, Adrian! What the fuck did Nick do to you?! It's been two days!"
Alyssa steps forward, "He's done it before. It's like her brain immediatley falls back into his arms." She looks at Damien, "He knows exactly what to do and say to manipulate Adrian to do whatever."
"It's not manipulation, Alyssa. It's facts. And the fact is. This group is fucked, Daryl's fucked, and-"
"Woah!" Inejra butts in. "What do you mean 'Daryl's fucked'?"
"I mean that he doesn't mean shit. Him backhanding me? I was just bein' a pussy. I acted like men aren't supposed to do that."
"Woah?!" Inejra yells again. "You think men are supposed to hit women?"
I clench my jaw, "You quiestionin' me?" I take a warning step closer to her and all three of them take a step back.
"No." She spits. "No, I'm not."
I nod, "Good." I scan Alexandria again, "I'm going to find Nick. Don't make any stupid mistakes."
With that, I turn on my heels and head down the street, walking down to the armory.
I don't look back, I don't want to see their reactions.
Before I get in the truck with Nick to leave, Alyssa stops me. "What happened to you?" She whispers.
"Don't." I respond quickly.
"You're supposed to be my sister." She whispers.
I look at her, "Sisters allow each other to do what makes them happy."
"This makes you happy?"
"Yes!" I climb in the truck and slam the door shut, shutting her out.
Before we leave, all of the trucks stop at the gates so Negan and Rick can speak.
A few minutes later, Negan knocks on my truck door. "Come on out, pretty lady."
I shoot Nick a quick glance before climbing out of the truck, slamming the door shut behind me, and walking with Negan up to Rick.
Rick stares at me, appaled. My stiff stance, my emotionless eyes, the concealed anger.
"Rick here, failed to gain Daryl back. But, he's requested you." Negan says, turning to me. "Do want to stay here?"
"Fuck no." I reply quickly.
Negan chuckles, "Damn. Looks like both of your buddies here don't wanna come back. Shame. Well, you tried. Now what you gotta do is get over that tall wall of yours and try harder out there. Earn for me."
I tune Negan out as I make eye contact with Alyssa again, her teary eyes staring at me as she sits in the same grass patch we watched stars at.
It's almost like I feel the bracelet appear on my wrist. I look down and notice a black, red, and purple bracelet on my left wrist. One Alyssa made for me a few days ago. She made it for me while I was dealing with the worst of my concussion.
"...Nobody loves you! Nobody loves you other than me, understand?!"
I turn around to walk back to the car, barely acknowledging the bracelet or Alyssa, though I bump into Daryl.
He and I both stare, not recognizing each other.
What he sees is his old wife now on the enemy's side. Covered in bruises and with dead eyes.
What I see is the man who hit me, his bruises and black eyes. His dirty face and greasy hair. The man who doesn't allow me to do drugs even though he knows that's what makes me happy.
And a prisoner.
"Move." I hiss, allowing him to scoot to the side so I can walk to the truck and climb inside.
I sigh when I'm inside and tilt my head back, "I can't wait to get into that drawer." I whisper to Nick.
He chuckles, starting the ignition of the truck. "Yeah, I bet."
He looks into my eyes and then at my leather jacket, "I just can't wait to get back home." He smirks.
Once Negan's truck leaves, Nick and I's truck follows.
(Summary:) Adrian and the Saviors go to Alexandria to raid their stuff. Adrian encounters Damien, Inejra, and Alyssa while she's with Nick and they realize how deep this really is. The grasp Nick really has on Adrian.