(TW!! A lot...) (Long chapter!!)
Walking through the woods, I can feel my legs begin to give out and the world tilting under my vision. Alyssa notices too because I put all my weight on her, "You okay?" She asks, out of breath.
I nod, "Awesome."
We're right behind the group, Rick and Abraham carrying the cot with Maggie on it.
Abruptly, men's whistles ring loudly through the trees.
High, low
Just as I hear it, my heart stops. We all quickly stop in our tracks and listen, looking around quickly.
"Go!" Rick yells.
Our steps quickening to as fast as we can run with two injured people.
The air I inhale turns cold, burning my lungs and causing the world to spin more. The men continue to whistle, almost as if we're following them.
Suddenly, everyone stops as bright fluorescent lights turn on. Hundreds of men begin to whistle in that exact pattern.
High, low.
We all stop, spinning and looking around. Alyssa grips me tighter, fear coming in little droplets on her face.
I spin around, men standing firm and bold, staring at all of us. Angrily, hungrily, looking for blood. Cars surround us and the R.V. is in front of us.
The trees around us cast an eerie shadow over everything, even with the bright lights.
Eugene is kneeling near us, bloodied and beaten, trying to hold in tears but visibly trembling.
Fuck.
"Good," A man says, stepping forward into the light.
He's got a thick mustache and a receding hairline with grey hair surrounding it; a bright smile and a tall, lanky body.
"Welcome to where you're goin'." He smiles, his chocolate eyes scanning us. "We'll take your weapons." He grabs his gun and aims it at Carl, resulting in a quiet squeak of fear from Alyssa. "Now." He orders.
"We can talk about-" Rick tries, his voice quivering.
My hands tremble with fear, my heart pounds loudly in my ears, and I break out in a cold sweat. I can't imagine what Alyssa is feeling.
"We're done talking. Time to listen." The man interrupts him, his smile fully gone and replaced with an angry frown.
Then, several men approach all of us, striping us of our guns, knives, and every other threat.
The man stands in front of Carl, grabbing his gun. "That's yours, right?"
Carl doesn't respond, he just glares into the man's eyes.
"Yeah, it's yours." The man decides, flicking Carl's hat.
"Okay. Let's get her down and get you all on your knees. Lots to cover." The man says, backing up and allowing everyone to set Maggie down.
Alyssa walks me over to the rest of the group and helps me kneel at the end of the row.
The man looks at all of us before looking at the other men, "Let's get the other ones, right now."
Others?
If my heart could drop any lower than my toes it would've.
A few men approach a van, creaking open the doors and grabbing something or someone out of it.
Daryl.
Michonne.
Rosita.
Glenn.
Damien.
The three closest people to me, one person closest to Damien.
Daryl has blood leaking down his arm and a blanket over him. We both lock eyes as we realize.
We forgot to say I love you when he left.
"Alright,' The man celebrates. "We got a full boat." Every time he speaks, I feel my body tremble. "Let's meet the man." He smiles, knocking on the door of the R.V.
Time seems to stop as the R.V. doors open and a man with a salt-and-pepper beard steps out. Wielding a barbed wire bat and wearing a black leather jacket.
The man who saved me from Nick.
Negan.
I don't know whether to run and hug him or to run and strangle him. If there's time, I may do both.
"Pissin' our pants yet?" He smiles, stepping forward. "Boy, do I have a feeling we're gettin' close." He scans our line, "Yep. It's gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon."
Oh my god.
He walks to my side of the line, closest to Eugene, farthest from Glenn.
His eyes lock with mine.
"Ho-ly shit!" He exclaims, "Is-is that Rattlesnake I see? Damn, you're still just as angry-eyed as ever."
Out of the corner of my eye, I see everyone look at me in horror. Now knowing that they know I know Negan makes me want to wretch- just as much as the bright lights do.
I don't say anything, I just glare at him, no matter how much I want to tell him everything that's happened these past few years. Good and bad.
He smiles, "No hello? No, 'Negan, I missed you so much'? Damn, times have changed, haven't they?"
"They sure as fuck have." I spit through gritted teeth, my eyes narrowing into a death stare.
He chuckles and shakes his head, "There's that familiar fire in you."
Seeing Negan, for the first time in years, ready to kill one or all of us- is the most horrifying scene I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of fucked up shit.
He smiles and looks at my legs, "Are those my shorts?"
My face reddens but I don't falter. The "boy-shorts". The ones everyone made fun of. The black, big and baggy, sweatshorts that I've worn all the time to make me feel closer to Negan.
I can't tell if I want to rip them off and burn them or not.
He chuckles, "Damn. I've been wonderin' if you still wear those. On this chilly of a day? Damn...I gave those to you years ago." He flashes me a grin. "Guess I had an impact on you...huh?"
He chuckles, probably expecting a response but when I don't give him one, he moves on, pointing to the group. "Which one of you pricks is the leader?"
"It's this one." The man from before says, pointing to Rick's shaking body. "He's the guy."
Negan looks at Rick then approaches him, "Hi. You're Rick, right? I'm Negan. And I do not appreciate you killin' my men. Also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killin' my people, you killed more of my people. Not cool." Negan's voice is as hard as ice no matter how much he smiles.
"Not cool." He repeats. "You have no idea how not cool that shit is. But I think you're gonna be up to speed shortly." He thinks for a moment. "Yep, you are so gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes."
My blood runs cold. The way he says that, the way he looks at Rick with the need for blood in his eyes, I know something is about to happen. I'm just praying Alyssa walks out of here.
"Yes, you are." He smiles. "You see, Rick, whatever you do, no matter what, you don't mess with the new world order. And the new world order is this, at it's really, very simple. So, even if you're stupid, which you very well may be, you can understand it. You ready? Here goes. Pay attention."
He moves the bat off of his shoulder, pointing it near Rick's face, causing him to squirm.
He smiles, "Give me your shit...or I will kill you." He straightens up and begins walking along the line. "Today was career day. We invested a lot so you would know who I am and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me, that's your job. Now, I know that is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it...you most certainly will."
He approaches Rick again, "You ruled the roost."
I hear Alyssa's breath tremble and her quiet sobs of fear but I don't dare look at her.
"You built something. You thought you were safe. I get it. But the word is out. You are not safe. Not even close. In fact, you are pegged, more pegged if you don't do what I want. And what I want is half your shit. And if that's too much, you can make, find, or steal more, and it'll even out sooner or later."
In other terms,
We're fucked.
"This is your way of life now. The more you fight back, the harder it will be. So, if someone knocks on your door..." He chuckles. "You let us in. We own that door. You try to stop us and we will knock it down. You understand?"
When Rick doesn't respond, Neagn cups his ear and leans in. "What, no answer?" He straightens up and looks around, "You don't really think that you were gonna get through this without bein' punished, now did you?"
I lock eyes with Damien, his face sweaty and terrified.
"I don't want to kill your people. Just wanna make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me. You can't do that if you're dead, now can you? I'm not growin' a garden."
He walks along the line and then returns to Rick, "But you killed my people, a whole damn lot of them. More than I'm comfortable with. And for that-for that you're gonna pay."
Shit.
"So, now..."
"I'm gonna beat the holy hell outta' one of you."
I feel my blood freeze, the hair on my neck stands straight up, and pins and needles feed through my skin like a snake.
"This-" He points the handle of his bat at Rick. "This is Lucille,"
Lucille? She would so think that was funny. Where the fuck is she?
"And she is awesome. All this, all this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honor."
He inhales sharply, walking the line before stopping in front of Abraham, who straightens up at Negan's close presence.
No, god please no.
"Huh," He rubs his hand over his beard. "I gotta shave this shit."
Luckily, he continues walking down the line, stopping in front of Carl.
"You got one of our guns. Yeah, You got a lot of our guns. " He crouches in front of him, Alyssa holds her breath.
"Shit, kid, lighten up. At least cry a little." Negan chuckles and looks around before standing up and clearing his throat.
He turns to Alyssa, "Oh my god. Alyssa fuckin' Walsh. Man, you have grown since I've last seen you. Say, how old are you? Ten? Eleven?"
Alyssa grits her teeth, glaring up at him the same way I do.
He smiles and looks from Alyssa to me, looking between us a few times. "Damn, I do see the relation." He smiles and moves on, allowing Alyssa to release a sigh of relief.
I do too, I guess I was unconsciously holding my breath.
He walks up to Maggie, who, for a few seconds, avoids his eyes. "Jesus. You look shitty." Negan motions to his bat, "I should just put you out of your misery right now-"
"No! No!" Glenn screams, launching forward but being grabbed and beaten a few times before being pinned to the ground, Daryl's crossbow being aimed at his head by a blonde man with a burned face.
"NO!" Maggie and I both scream, forcing ourselves to stay in the kneeling position.
"Stop it!" Maggie screams.
"Nope, nope, get him back in line." Negan orders.
Glenn gets dragged back into line, yelling, "No, no." A few times. Once he's back in line, he sobs quietly and then screams in anger.
Or fear.
Or both.
"Don't. Don't." He pleads.
Negan chuckles, "All right, listen. Don't any of you do that shit again. I will shut that shit down, no exceptions. First one's free. It's an emotional moment, I get it."
It's silent as everyone takes in the weight of the situation.
Negan looks at Rick, "Sucks, don't it?" He asks. "The moment you realize you don't know shit."
He smiles and looks at all of us before pointing to Carl, "This your kid, right?" He chuckles, "This is definitely your kid-"
"Just stop this!" Rick screams.
"Hey!" Negan yells, quickly turning to Rick and pointing at him.
"Do not make me kill the little future serial killer. Don't make it easy on me. I gotta pick somebody. Everybody's at the table waitin' for me to order."
Then he whistles and walks along the line, whistling the same tune.
High, low.
He stops and chuckles, "I simply cannot decide. I got an idea." His smile comes back and he approaches Rick, pointing his bat-Lucille, at him. "Eenie,"
Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity, fuck, shit, bitch, FUCK!
He continues along the line, his voice eerily low, "Meenie...miney...mo...catch...a tiger...by...his toe." He stops in front of me and smiles, pointing the bat between my eyes.
If it has to be me I won't fight back.
God, I wish my tongue wasn't caught in my throat.
He continues, "If...he hollers...let him go. My mother...told me...to pick...the very best one...and you...are...it."
And he stops.
In front of Abraham Ford.
"Anybody moves, anybody says anything cut the boy's other eye out and feed it to his father. And then we'll start."
"No! Negan, no! Please!" I scream, my tongue finally working. I manage to stay in my position, no matter how much my knees ache from wanting to stand up and round-house his ass.
Negan turns and looks at me, "The rules of the game, sweetheart."
"He didn't do it! I did! Negan, I did!"
"Adrian-" Abraham tries.
"No! I did! Abraham stayed back!" I don't realize it, but I'm beginning to sob, panic rising so fast that I have to put my hands on the ground to refrain from falling over. "I tried to convince him to fight! But he didn't like the idea-"
Negan puts his hand up, "Enough."
He looks behind me, "Grab her. She's one of the most stubborn women I've ever met."
"What-no. NO!" I scream as I feel strong, burly arms wrap tightly around me, pulling me to almost a standing position but not quite.
Negan smiles, "Sorry, Rattlesnake. Just the way it has to be."
"Negan please!" I try to continue but the man's caliced finger covers my mouth, muffling my screams.
Negan nods and turns back to Abraham, "You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell...you're all gonna be doin' that."
Just as he does that, the bat comes down on Abraham's head, causing him to fall forward.
"NO!" I scream.
My body goes limp, I give out under the man's grasp, and hot, heavy tears stream from my eyes.
I look at Damien as he screams, his eyes wide and glossy.
"Ho! Ho! Look at that! Takin' it like a champ!" Negan yells as Abraham sits back up on his heels.
"Suck...my...nuts." Abraham grunts, ruby-red blood pouring out of his ginger hair and down his face.
I scream out in horror again as Negan brings the bat down, silencing Abraham for good.
For good.
Negan continues bringing the bat down on Abraham's dead body, splitting his skull open and smashing his brain into a gross pulp.
I feel all the happiness that I've ever felt spew out of my ears. My wails of heartbreak cover the sound of the bat smacking against whatever is left of Abraham's brain and skull.
I can't look away, everything sounds like an echo. Like it's through a tunnel.
"Did you hear that?" Negan asks, moving his blood-soaked bat away from Abraham. He chuckles, "He said, 'suck my nuts.'"
He exhales and laughs before bringing the bat down a few more times. Each time, I flinch My body has fully given out in the man's arms and now he's practically holding dead weight as I sob in his arms.
Negan backs up and waves his bat around, "Oh, my goodness!" he exclaims. "Look at this!" He swings his bat toward Rick, splattering Abraham's blood on his face.
My eyes are widened, my skin is hot, and I can feel throw-up rising in my throat as Abraham's skull is now a mix of pink, jelly-like brain, and red liquid, covering every other color.
Negan laughs, "You guys, look at my dirty girl!" He approaches Rosita and puts the bloody bat in her face. "Sweetheart, lay your eyes, on this."
He sighs at the sight of her horrified features, her pale skin. Her red and puffy eyes. No doubt I look like that.
"Oh, damn. Were you...were you together? That sucks. But if you were, you should know, there was a reason for all of this. Red- and hell, he was, is, and will ever be red." He chuckles as he speaks.
"He just took one or six or seven for the team! So take...a damn...look. Take a damn look!"
Just then, Daryl grunts and stands up, sucker-punching Negan in the jaw.
I feel panic rise through my body again as I try to fight off the man's grasp. Daryl gets grabbed and pinned to the ground.
"No!" Negan screams, pointing his bat at Daryl. "Oh, no."
He chuckles and turns around, facing the R.V. "That? Oh, my! That...is a no-no." He crouches in front of Daryl's body. Men pinning his arms above his head and his face into the gravel. "The whole thing- not one bit of that shit flies here."
The same man from before aims Daryl's crossbow at his head, "Do you want me to do it?" He asks. "Right here.
"NO!" I scream desperately, trying as hard as I can to fight the man behind me off.
Negan looks at me, "No. No, you don't kill them. Not until you try a little."
Daryl grunts as he gets dragged back in line. In line to be killed.
I can't lose someone else. I can't. Not in the hands of someone I used to love so dearly.
"Anyway," Negan says, straightening up. "That's not how it works. Now, I already told you people, first one's free. Then what'd I say? I said I would shut that shit down! No exceptions."
He continues, "Now I don't know what kind of lying assholes you've been dealin' with...but I'm a man of my word. First impressions are important. I need you to know me."
He's standing dangerously close to both Damien and Glenn. One of the last two people who I feel safe around.
"Negan!" My voice is shaky, breathless. "Negan, choose me! Kill me! I don't care what you do! Choose me for whatever your sick bastards of people want to do! I don't care! Please!"
"No! Not Adrian!" Alyssa yells.
"Alyssa!" I yell, shutting her up as she sobs next to me. Her face exactly like Rosita's though a little more green.
"No, Alyssa's right. I can't kill you." He smiles. "I need you."
What the fuck does that mean?
My whole body tenses and goes both hot and cold at the same time, blurring my vision for a split second.
He pauses at my lack of response and grabs his bat, "Welp, back to it."
And with that, he brings the bat down on Glenn's head.
I can't even cry out, I can't scream, I just stare in horror as the one man after Nick, the one man after Nick, I was able to be drunk and alone in a room with, sits up. Gurgling and spitting with blood seeping down his face, his left eye bulging.
Alyssa screams and cries next to me, covering her face with her hands.
I can't even make a noise, tears just continue spilling as I feel acid rise in my throat.
Negan leans down, "Buddy...you still there? I just don't know. It seems like you're tryin' to speak but you just took a hell of a hit! I just popped your skull so hard, your eyeball just popped out, and it is gross as shit!"
"Maggie...I'll find you." He slurs.
"Oh...oh, hell," Negan whispers, approaching Maggie. "I can see this is hard on you guys. I am sorry. I truly am. But I did say, no exceptions." And once again, he turns and smacks Glenn with the bat, repeatedly hitting him.
I groan and lean forward, the man gets the hint and lets me go, allowing me to fall to the ground and throw up.
I gag and cough, not being able to stop, the sobbing making it ten times worse.
"You bunch o' pussies." Negan says, hitting Glenn's brain continuously. "But I'm just getting started."
I throw up more, throwing up so much that now, all I throw up is water.
Negan laughs, "Lucille is thirsty! She is a vampire bat!"
He approaches Rick, "What? Was the joke that bad?"
Rick looks up, his eyes wide and the side of his face dressed in a line of blood. "I'm gonna kill you." He whispers.
Negan crouches, holding the bat so Rick can see it. "What? I didn't catch that, you're gonna have to speak up." He whispers, loud enough for us to hear.
I groan in pain as I realize I threw up my migraine pills, the lights immediately causing a massive migraine and my balance to fail. I dry gag one more time before sitting back on my heels, feeling the man wrap his arms around me again and pull me to my feet, though I have no energy to fight back.
"Not today...not tomorrow...but I'm gonna kill you." He assures Negan.
Negan inhales sharply, "Jesus." He whispers. "Simon...what did he have, a knife?"
"Uh, he had a hatchet." Simon- the man from before, informs him.
"A hatchet?" Negan clarifies, a shit-eating grin on his face.
"He had an ax." Simon clarifies.
Negan chuckles and looks back at Rick, "Simon's my right-hand man. Having one of those is important. I mean, what do you have left without them? A whole lot a' work. Do you have one? Maybe one of these fine people still breathin'?"
Alyssa whimpers next to me.
"Oh..." Negan whispers. "Or did I..." He acts like he's swinging the bat and clicks his tongue.
Rick doesn't reply, Negan sighs, "Yeah. Give me his ax." He demands Simon.
Simon slowly walks over to Negan, handing him the ax.
Negan holds it up, making sure Rick can see it in silence before standing up and putting it in his belt.
He then grabs Rick by the jacket, "We'll be right back." He says, dragging Rick to the R.V. "Maybe Rick will be with me. And if not, well, we can just turn these people inside out, won't we?"
He throws Rick in the R.V. while finishing, "Well...the ones that are left." The R.V. door slams shut, leaving us in an ominous silence.
After a few minutes, the R.V. starts up and they drive off.
When the sun is up, seemingly forever later, Negan throws Rick out of the R.V., thankfully.
He grabs him by the jacket again and pulls him closer to the line before throwing him to the ground.
"Here we are." Negan smiles. "Let me ask you something, Rick, do you even know what that little trip was about?"
Silence.
"Speak when you're spoken to." Negan orders. "That trip was about the way you looked at me. I wanted to change that. I wanted you to understand. But you're still lookin' at me the same...damn...way. Like I shit in your scrambled eggs and that's not gonna work. So..." He crouches next to Rick.
"Do I give you another chance?"
"Yes." Rick whispers, shakily.
Negan pats him on the back before standing up, "Okay, alright. And here it is-the grand-prize game. What you do next will decide whether your crap day becomes everyone's last crap day,"
I would do anything for it to be my "last crap day".
"Or just another crap day. Get some guns to the back of their heads." Negan orders.
The sound of guns clicking rings around the line, I feel a hard, cold cylinder press against the back of my head. I look at see Alyssa, her whole body trembling with fear, with a pistol to her head. She's biting her lip so hard I can see blood around the tip of her teeth.
"Good. Now, level with their noses, so if you have to fire," He puts his hand to his nose and imitates an explosion. "It'll be a real mess."
He smiles and looks at Carl, "Kid..." He motions for Carl to come to him. When Carl doesn't move, his tone goes firmer. "Kid...now."
"No," Alyssa mumbles, biting her lip so hard I can see her wince.
"Are you a southpaw?" Negan asks, taking one of his belts off.
"Am I a what?" Asks Carl, his voice full of sass.
"You a lefty?" Negan asks.
"No." Carl replies.
"Good." Negan says, wrapping the belt around Carl's arm.
"That hurt?"
"No." Carl spits.
"It should." Negan says. "It's supposed to." Once he's done wrapping Carl's bicep with the grey belt, he backs up. "Alright, get down on the ground, kid. Next to Daddy. Spread them wings." He exclaims, grabbing Carl's hat and tossing it behind him.
Carl glances at Alyssa, tilting his head slightly as if to say "I'm sorry" and lying down, his arms out like plane wings. Negan helps him by shoving him down further.
"Simon. You got a pen?" Negan asks.
Simon looks at him confusedly before nodding, "Yeah." He grabs a marker out of his pocket and tosses it to Negan.
Neagn catches it and bites the cap off. He crouches down next to Carl with a grunt and says, "Sorry, kid. This is gonna be as cold as a warlock's ballsack just like he was hanging his ballsack above you and dragging it right across the forearm."
With that, he uses this marker to draw a line across Carl's forearm, almost as if he's marking something.
"There you go. Gives you a little leverage." He says as Rick whispers something to him.
Negan smiles and puts the cap on the marker, straightening up, "Rick, I want you to take your ax...cut your son's left arm off, right on that line."
Alyssa gasps and cries quietly next to me, digging her teeth further into her lip if possible.
No way. This is not Negan. Negan would never allow a kid to get hurt under his watch.
"Now, I know-I know. You're gonna have to process that for a second. That makes sense. Still, though, I'm gonna need you to do it, or all these people are gonna die. Then Carl dies. Then the people back home die...and then you, eventually. I'm gonna keep you breathing for a few years just to spew on it."
Michonne pleads, "You-you don't have to do this. We understand. We understand."
"You understand. Yeah. I'm not sure that Rick does. I'm gonna need a clean cut, right there on that line. Now I know this is a screwed up thing to ask, but it's gonna have to be like a salami slice-nothin' messy, clean, forty-five degrees. Give us somethin' to fold over."
Negan continues, "We got a great doctor, the kid'll be fine. Probably."
Rick still doesn't move so Neagn crouches next to Rick and whispers something, though I can see the bat dangerously next to his head.
"I-it can be me. Y-you can do it to me. I c-I can fo with-with you." Rick tries, his voice shakier than his hands.
"No." Negan denies. "This is the only way. Rick...pick up the ax. Not making a decision is a big decision. You really want to see all these people die? You will. You will see every ugly thing."
Seeing Carl lying flat on the ground like that, the possibility of his arm getting cut off by his own father, in front of his girlfriend, makes me dry gag again. Since I have what feels like no cry left in me, I can only gag. Scream-sure. Allow tears to fall-sure. But crying? No. I've used all of it if that's even possible.
Negan groans, annoyed, "Oh my God. Are you gonna make me count?" Rick whimpers under his gaze, his eyes locking onto each of ours.
"Okay Rick, you win. Three!"
"Please! Please! It can be me!" Rick wails.
Negan crouches in front of him, yelling, "Two!"
Oh my god.
"Please, don't do-" Negan cuts him off with a slap to the cheek.
He grabs Rick by the jaw as he sobs and pulls him close to his face, "This is it."
Rick screams in horror as Negan yells, "One!"
Alyssa finally releases her teeth from her bottom lip to scream out, blood trickles down her chin and drips onto her shirt.
Rick continues sobbing, he grabs the ax and raises it above his, still screaming, before Negan yells, "Rick!" breaking him out of his trance.
Rick immediately stops and turns to Negan, his breathing quick and ragged.
Negan orders, "You answer to me. You provide for me. You belong to me. Right?"
Rick nods, still breathing heavily.
Negan, irritated, grabs Rick's jaw again and pulls him close. "Speak when you're spoken to! You answer to me. You provide for me."
"Provide for you." Rick repeats.
Negan screams in Rick's face. "You belong to me, right?!"
Rick nods, "Right."
Negan smiles, "Right. That...is the look I wanted to see."
He straightens up, Alyssa sobs from fear, relief, anger, everything, next to me.
Damien's tears have dried, leaving a light trail down his eyes, to his cheeks, and below his chin.
Negan grabs Rick's ax, "We did it...all of us, together...even the dead guys on the ground." I whimper, replaying the sight of both Abraham and Glenn being beaten to death.
"Hell, they get the spirit award for sure! Today was a productive damn day! Now, I hope, for all your sake...that you get it now...that you understand how things work."
He pauses and smiles. "Things have changed. Whatever you had going for you...that is over now." He chuckles and sighs. "Dwight...load him up."
The man with the burned face-Dwight grabs Daryl and throws him into the van.
I can't even make a noise, I can't yell, I can't cry. All I do is squeak, trying my hardest to fight the man behind me off.
When the men go to close the doors, Negan puts his hand up. "Wait."
He turns to me with a smile. "C'mon, pretty lady. I told you I'd need you."
The man behind me begins walking, pushing me towards the van.
"No! No, not Adrian! She's all I have left!" Alyssa wails.
"Oh, oh don't worry sugar." Negan states.
He stops the man, silently telling him to let me go.
Am I about to die?
Though, just then, Negan grabs me instead. "She'll be safe and sound with me."
He begins to push me toward the van though, this time, I try to fight back. "Get your fuckin' hands off me!"
He yanks me back, stopping me, "These 'fuckin' hands' saved your ass years ago...now...you wanna tell me who that was from? Or should I introduce you to him to give you a refresher?"
My blood runs cold, my body shivers and tightens, I feel air catch in my throat, and my chin begins to tremble.
Negan laughs from behind me, "Oh yeah. We'll see how this goes."
With that, he shoves me in the van, Damien yelling "Wait!" just as the doors shut.
In the pitch black, I can hear Daryl's labored breathing. He's in one of the back corners.
Now that it's just him and I, my heart pounds faster. I try to speak but the words catch then sizzle out in my throat. All I can do is squeak, much like I did when Daryl was being taken.
I open my mouth, desperately trying to speak but nothing comes out.
I can't. I can't see Nick.
I begin sobbing again, burying my face in the cold, metal floor of the van.
I lift back up and back up against the doors, breathing heavy, so heavy I feel the world spin around me.
Daryl doesn't say anything, though I can tell he wants to.
I want to curl up beside him, but I can't. I can't move. I can't speak. I can't breathe.
I purse my lips and exhale shakily before crawling to Daryl, his familiar body heat letting me know he's next to me.
I lay my head on his legs and cover my eyes as if trying to hide myself from everything.
I want to be dead.
If I was dead, I wouldn't have to see Nick.
Or Negan's just fucking with me.
Maybe.
Maybe not.