After being mugged and beat up in an alleyway, you just want to be left alone, but your boyfriend wiggles his way into your heart and coaxes you into letting him help you.
꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎
"Don't worry about it," you mumbled as you stumbled towards the bathroom, "I've got it."
You reentered the apartment you shared with Lee Know. His concerned dark eyes scanned your body from head to toe. So many words sat on his lips, but none of them came out. You couldn't blame him. Nobody expected to find their significant other in this state.
Perhaps, it was your own fault. He told you multiple times to stop taking the shady alleyway that cut through town, but you couldn't help it. It shaved ten minutes off your normal walk to the bookstore. You went down it multiple times before without an issue, but this time was different.
Your wrist was yanked from behind you. During dusk, the sky was overcast with remnants of citrus and cerise. The last wisps of cumulonimbus steel-blue clouds were dulling to a gray. Caught off-guard, you stumbled backwards.
Your body was shoved and you slammed into the back of a brick walled building. Two unfamiliar men towered in front of you demanding your wallet. They stood taller than you, you should have been terrified, but you weren't, your first reaction was instant anger.
You had been planning to go to the bookstore for days. You specifically set aside time on this day to do it. Who did they think they were and why did they decide to mess with you? Maybe you were naive, or noble, or maybe it was just stupidity. You could have given them your wallet and let them go, but you ran your mouth instead.
Fuming with your hands clenched into fists, you told the two men to go fuck themselves. It threw them off for a few seconds. That was never part of their rehearsed script. Your wallet was safely secured in your back jean pocket and you had no plans to take it out.
All of your information was in your wallet. Debit card, credit card, your ID, and even photographs of you and Lee Know. It'd be a cold day in hell before you willingly gave it up.
It was a mistake on your end. A fist swung and you blocked it, but you weren't prepared for the second fist from the second attacker. You hit the ground and shoved your hands up. You tried to defend yourself as best as you could.
Every tip of their sneakers sent shock waves through you when it connected with your rib cage. Every pointed knuckled, the flashy silver ring on one's finger, containing a purple gemstone, nicked your skin, and filleted you like a fish. It was two against one and it was clear you wouldn't be winning the fight.
You were in the middle of the alleyway when the attack began. No matter how much you tried to call for help, the words never escaped your lips. You didn't have a chance due to the searing pain that crept up the side of your rib cage.
By the time they finished, they never took your wallet, but they successfully managed to smash your phone. You were grateful it was only your phone you lost. You kept everything backed up, so you weren't worried.
As you explained the situation to your boyfriend, his concern for you grew. Your left eye was beginning to swell. You could barely see through the small slit left behind. Without meaning to, tears leaked out of it from irritation. It ached and the skin began to turn a pinkened-red.
Scrapes and cuts filled your arms. Your sides were littered with the beginning stages of bruised ribs. The pavement grated your delicate skin and rubbed it raw. It was a miracle you were able to get home without running into them again.
Lee Know gently grabbed the point of your chin and tilted your face up. With the unforgiving bathroom fluorescents, he was able to see everything. With a soft swipe of his thumb, he brushed away a dollop of blood from your cut lip.
He kept his voice low as if you were an injured child. "Let me help you clean up."
You pulled your face away and shook your head. "I'll be okay, I can manage by myself." You swallowed the lump in your throat and turned to the porcelain sink.
You caught his gaze in the mirror and you swore you saw a flash of hurt, but you brushed it aside. This was your fault, not his. You went down the alley towards night and this was the consequence. You didn't need to be babied.
The two of you remained silent while you turned on the sink and began to gently rinse the blood off your scraped palms. You gritted your teeth and kept the pain inside. Behind you, annoyance crept up in Lee Know.
You had been like this since he knew you. Whenever people offered you their assistance, you turned it away. He knew you grew up in a household where you often handled your emotions by yourself. Every childhood scraped knee, every bruise, every injury you figured it out by yourself.
When you were sick, there wasn't anyone to tuck you into bed and make you soup. There was nobody to coax medicine into your system. No matter how half-delirious from a fever you were, you were forced to handle everything by yourself.
No mother to nurture you and no father to mend you. Maybe you were cursed from birth or maybe they never learned from their own parents. Whatever the case, it left you independent as hell. You gritted your teeth, swallowed the pain, clenched your hands into fists, and dealt with it yourself. When the world beat you down, you could only count on yourself.
"Please let me just he-"
"No!" You snapped. "I told you I can do it by myself." You didn't mean to snap, but you were far from okay. Every bent finger sent an ache up your arm. Every slight movement sent jolts of pain through your body. Every twist of your waist sent sharp stabs to your ribs.
You were left humiliated. What did you think was going to happen when you smarted off? God, you were so stupid. You should have let them take your wallet. You could have called your banks and had the cards frozen. The photos were replaceable, but you would have had to reprint them. You could have gotten a new ID.
"What do you think you're going to achieve by pushing everyone away? You're being immature and childish! You want to do it yourself and cause yourself more damage? Fine!" He stormed out of the bathroom and slammed the door shut.
You flinched at the sound. His words were an added slap across your face. You dug your fingers into the edge of the sink and took a few shaky breaths. Tears leaked out of your uninjured eye. Why were you always like this? Pushing everyone away and then wallowing in your own self pity. When were you going to learn?
The tears blurred your vision. You glanced up at yourself in the mirror to see the beat up version of yourself looking back at you. You always pushed Lee Know away. You pushed him away when you were sick. When he was sore from dance practice, you were the first to offer icy-hot cream for his overworked muscles.
When he was sick or needed help, you were always there and happy to assist, but when it came to you needing him, you always pushed him away. Deep down, he struggled with it. He wanted to make you the homemade soup his mom used to make him when he was sick. When you were sick, he wanted to coddle you. He wanted to coax medicine into your system. He wanted to tuck you in, but you never let him.
You winced, grabbed a wash rag, and placed it beneath the warm stream of sink water. You sniffled as more tears blurred your vision and gently dabbed at the scrape on your inner arm. You did this to yourself, it's your own fault.
Outside the door, Lee Know's heart, like a dropped piggy-bank, shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces. You were hurting, he shouldn't have snapped at you. He knew you were like this, but it hurt him to know you were hurting so much.
A soft sigh escaped his lips and he reopened the bathroom door. At the sound, you glanced over at him. Your uninjured teary eye made him feel like shit. He shouldn't have added insult to your injuries.
He stepped further inside and shut the door behind him. He walked closer to you and you were engulfed by the alluring hints of vanilla in the cologne he wore daily. Without a word, he grabbed the washcloth from your hands and began to dab at the blood on your arm.
You didn't utter a word and you didn't fight back. You were too injured and too exhausted to put up a fight. The fire from a few moments ago had been muddled from your injuries.
"You have to stop pushing people away," Lee Know finally spoke up. "Life is full of challenges and rough parts. It can be mean, ruthless, and unforgiving. Nothing is promised in life, but you know what is always going to be there?"
You stayed silent and watched him in the mirror.
"People. The people that love you are always going to be there." He moved onto your other arm. "You have to learn how to allow yourself to be vulnerable with the people who love you. I know it's difficult, but not everyone is a bad person."
He rinsed the washcloth beneath another stream of warm water. Pinkened water swirled around the basin before slipping down the drain. "You're going to have good and bad parts of life. This happened to be a bad part. Just let me care for you like you've done for me so many times before."
Your voice came out in a hushed whisper, "I don't know how."
Lee Know's warm gaze found your eyes. Your heart fluttered in your chest. You never felt safer with anyone else than you ever did with him.
"I'm afraid you'll leave," you got out. You finally said it. The truth you were hiding for so long; the source of anxiety that gnawed on you for months. "I'm afraid I'll get too comfortable and you'll go. I don't want to start relying on people and end up alone and hurt."
Lee Know put down the rag and gently pulled you to him. Pain coursed through your body, but you ignored it. His strong arms wrapped around your body and held you tight. You buried your head in his chest.
He didn't care if your blood stained his clothes. His clothes were replaceable, but your vulnerability was not. You never opened up to him like this before. This was a first for you.
"I know it's hard, but when you push the people away that love you, you're hurting them even if you don't mean to. Some of us want to be there for you. We want to take care of you and we want you to be happy."
"As for me, I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be by your side no matter what."
"But what if you die?" You blurted out.
"Why are you thinking of me dying? If you keep thinking like that, you're going to make yourself sick with worry. Focus on what's in front of you right now. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. Please just let me care for you."
You ignored the pain in your ribs and wrapped your arms around him. He carefully laid his chin on the top of your head. You sniffled and clutched onto him tighter.
He was right. If you kept focusing on the what-if's, you'd lose sight of what you had in front of you. Deep down, you wanted to be taken care of. You wanted to be nurtured and there was nothing wrong with that.
For hundreds of years, humans lived in communities and tribes. We've fixed each other up time and time again. Mended broken bones, wiped away blood, stitched up gaping wounds. We've dug out bullets and bee stings.
We've held the hand of new mothers as they've brought life into the world and murmured encouragement. We've clutched the hands of the dying as they drifted away to the other side and spoke prayers to gods whose existence we sometimes ponder. To place your well-being in the hands of others, it didn't make you weak, it made you human.
After a while, you pulled away and nodded. You let yourself be dabbed and wiped. You let Lee Know peel off your blood stained clothes to reveal your hidden injuries. You let yourself be vulnerable for the first time in your life.
His love for you never had to be spoken, you could feel it in his actions. The way he helped lower your naked body into the bottom of the tub, so he could wash the blood off you with a light stream of water. The way he steadily gripped your wrists, not your scraped palms, to help you to your feet. The gentle patting of the soft cotton towel.
He helped you into one of your favorite oversized shirts. You didn't complain as he led you to the kitchen. Too exhausted to talk, he told you about his day. You sat idly in a wooden chair at the kitchen table.
He chopped vegetables and diced chicken. The blobbering of a meaty broth bumbled from a large pot. While he was busy creating you a comfort meal, his cats joined the conversation. With a silent pounce, all three of them lined the top of the kitchen table around you.
You knew he'd be annoyed, so you stayed quiet as you pet them. Under no circumstance were Soonie, Doongie, and Dori allowed on the kitchen table. Usually, they followed that rule without disobedience, but they must have realized you were in pain.
You scratched the tops of their heads with the soft pads of your fingers. Doongie walked over to you, placed his paws on your chest, and gently rubbed his head across your cheek. They were only given away by your giggle.
Lee Know turned around and he was about to say something until he saw your smile. He closed his mouth and his lips turned into a smile of his own. He was happy the three of them were providing you with comfort.
As if Dori knew they were doing something wrong, the black and brown striped cat's eyes met Lee Knows. He shook his head with amusement. "Don't get used to this, this is a one night only event."
Soonie meowed and walked over to the edge of the table. Lee Know sighed and walked over to him. He began to scratch him beneath his chin. "You're all so lucky I love you."
As the two of you took turns giving the cats attention, the smell of chicken noodle soup filled the air. Lee Know added in the noodles and let them cook. Eventually, he removed the cats from the table and wiped it down with a disinfectant wipe.
He placed a steaming bowl in front of you. You mumbled a quiet thank you and he sat down beside you with his own bowl. The two of you ate in silence. The soup provided comfort and filled your aching body with warmth.
"Thank you for letting me take care of you," Lee Know finally spoke.
"I should be the one apologizing to you. I shouldn't have pushed you away for so long." You frowned at the memory of your earlier behavior.
"You're learning, that's all that matters. Let me know if you want more soup, I'll get you some, alright?" He glanced over at you with admiration in his eyes.
You nodded and slurped down another spoonful of chicken broth. The comfortable feeling of contentment began to filter through you. It felt nice to be taken care of. It was something you never felt before up until this point. Although it was new and terrifying, you couldn't deny the happiness that fluttered through you.
"Does this mean you're going to avoid that alleyway?" Lee Know asked with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes.
Even with your aching body, you managed to roll your own eyes. "Shut up," you grumbled.
He let out a laugh before he leaned over and placed a loving kiss against the side of your uninjured cheek.