~Sunday, 19/02/23 - 7:57 pm
Julianna's POV.
"Juju, it's almost dinner time." A voice whispered as I was shaken awake.
"Juju."
I opened my eyes and I saw Sawyer towering over me trying to wake me up.
"Hi Juju." He said as he noticed me looking at him.
"Time?" I asked him.
"7:57."
"Sugars?"
"6.7"
"You hungry? He asked me.
I was starving since I didn't get to eat my lunch, but I didn't want to tell him that. I just wanted to ignore him because Georgia could be telling the truth and saying that Sawyer doesn't actually want to be my friend, he was just forced to look after me. And Georgia's right about me being fat and ugly, so I think she is right about Sawyer. Sawyer somehow broke my walls that I had up for everyone else down, I trusted him and all I get in return are sh1tty lies. He managed to change my personality and stop swearing and being rude or "disrespectful" to others, I should've never let him into my life."
"What's on your mind Juju?" Sawyer asked, as he moved to drag a chair up to the bed.
"Nothing." I muttered.
"You're panicking." He pointed out.
"I'm not." I snapped.
"Juju, what's wrong?"
"I already told you nothing is fvcking wrong, so just fvck off." I yelled.
He looked really shocked and hurt by my outburst.
"I-I'm s-s-sorry." I whispered.
"It's fine. Let's go to dinner." He said not even making eye contact with me.
He looked really upset as he stood up and walked out the door.
"Sawyer?" I asked as I followed him out the door.
He ignored me and continued walking out the tower.
"Sawyer please." I pleaded.
He sighed and didn't even turn around to look at me.
"What do you want Julianna?" He asked annoyed and clearly upset.
"Nothing." I muttered, disappointed that I just pushed my closest friend in this school away.
I didn't feel like eating anymore, besides, Sawyer probably won't care where I go. So I quickly and quietly ran away from the dining hall. I don't even know where I was running to, I just ran. When I got far enough, I stopped running and broke down in tears. I somehow ran all the way back to my tower and ended up outside Sawyer's room. I twisted the doorknob in hopes no one was in there and that it wasn't locked. Luckily for me it was unlocked. I walked inside and I curled up on Sawyer's bed. Then I noticed his hoodie wasn't on the bed. So I started looking around to hopefully find it. I don't know why I like his hoodie so much, it could be because it smells like him, but it also makes me feel safe. Then I heard someone walk out of the bathroom!
"Jules?" Elliot asked me as he peeked his head into Sawyer's room.
"Hi."
"Why aren't you at the dining hall?" He asked me.
I couldn't think of a good enough excuse, I could either say my sugars were low so I came back for juice or I could say I woke up here and I was waiting for Sawyer to come back. But the thing is, I don't want Elliot to go and tell Sawyer where I am...
"Why aren't you?" I asked.
"Had training and came back kinda late, I just showered." He said.
"Nice."
"You look a little bit lost and have you been crying? Do you want me to get Sawyer?" Elliot asked concerned.
"No!" I replied quickly.
"No you don't want me to get Sawyer or no you're not lost?" He asked confused.
"I'm not lost and I haven't been crying and you don't need to inform Sawyer."
"You going to the dining hall?"
"Nah, I'm not hungry."
"This is gonna sound rude but why are you in Sawyer's room?"
"I ran out of juice boxes and I texted Sawyer to get me some after dinner but he said there was some somewhere in his room." I lied.
"Oh, do you need help finding them?"
"Nah, all good. You can go to dinner."
"Ok? See you later." He said confused.
"Bye." I said as he exited the room.
Sawyer's POV
I feel like someone ripped my heart out and burned it into ashes. Juju broke my heart again. I seriously like this girl so much but every time I feel like we're getting close, she pushes me away and blocks me out. I've tried so hard to stop liking her but it just doesn't work. I'm walking to the dining hall with Juju but I think she realised she made me sad because she keeps calling out to me.
"Sawyer?" She asked as she followed me out the door.
I ignored her and continued walk out the tower.
"Sawyer please." She pleaded.
I sighed and didn't even turn around to look at her.
"What do you want Julianna?" I asked her annoyed and upset.
"Nothing." She muttered, sadness and disappointed in her voice.
I didn't hear from her again, we walked into the dining hall and instead of getting my food with her I walked off to collect my food and let her collect hers herself. I saw some of the guys around a table and I joined them. I looked around at the table and noticed Elliot wasn't there.
"Where's Williams?" I asked as I sat down next to Mason and Kyle. I generally sit next to Elliot and Juju but I didn't want to sit next to Juju and I don't know where Elliot is.
"He's having a shower." Mason told me.
"Do you want me to move down a seat so Jules can sit here?" Kyle asked.
"No." I quickly said.
"What happened?" Mason asked.
"What?" I said confused.
"You guys were like attached at the hip this whole week and now all of a sudden you don't walk in with her and you don't wanna sit next to her." John said.
"What do you mean I didn't walk in with her? She was right behind me." I said.
"No she wasn't." Mason said worried.
"Sh1t."
"Where do you think she is?" Mason said standing up from the table.
"She could be anywhere!" I said worried.
"Calm down, where are her favourite places?" Harry asked.
"Her room, common room, my room, library, gym, track and any bathroom?" I said trying to remember where she likes to hang out.
"Ok, you go check the tower and we'll check around campus." Mason said.
"Meet back in 10." John said.
"Yep, if one of us don't return it means we've found her. If one of you guys find her make sure someone else knows where you are so I can get to you. If I don't return, don't look for me." I told them.
"Got it." Mason said.
"One of you stay here in case she comes back." I instructed.
"I'll stay, my sugars are low so I kinda need to eat. Good luck though." Kyle said.
We split up in our own directions. I literally sprinted to the tower. I ran into the common room and quickly scanned the room and continued down the hall and I checked her room first but she was definitely not in there. My last hope was my room or I have to hope one of the other guys found her.
I opened my room door and I heard sobs coming from in the room. I knew she was in here somewhere.
"Juju?" I called out.
Another sob.
"Juju?" I asked again.
Instead of a sob it was a cry of pain and sadness. She was hiding under my blanket on my bed.
"Juju?" I asked again.
She screamed of pain.
"Jules?!" I yelled desperately.
"S-s-sawyer." She whispered.
I quickly pulled the blanket off her and she was curled up in a ball crying. Her nails were digging deep into her skin and she looked disappointed and sad. She was barely awake and she was shaking.
"Juju." I whispered as I sat on my bed next to her and gently pulled her into my lap.
"What's wrong?" I asked her.
She was curled up to my chest and I could feel her fast unsteady heartbeats.
"Angel, your little heart's going quite fast." I told her as I rubbed her back gently.
She was struggling to breathe.
"Juju, your going to pass out."
"H-h-help." She said.
"Ok, let me try this. What are 3 things you can see?"
She didn't answer and was still struggling to breathe.
"Juju, please, I hate seeing you like this."
"Y-your r-r-room, t-t-the b-blanket a-a-and y-y-y-you." She whispered.
"Good girl, 2 things you can touch?"
"M-m-myself a-and y-y-ou."
"Good job, 1 thing you can feel?"
"S-sad."
"Good girl Juju." I told her as her heart beat started slowing down.
She curled into me more.
"Why are you sad?" I asked her.
"B-b-because you don't c-care a-a-about m-me." She whispered into my shoulder.
"Juju, who told you that?" I asked her gently.
"G-geor-gia."
"Juju, when did you start believing her?"
"When she told me why you hang out with me and she told me I was f-fat, useless, ugly and w-weak." She whispered.
"Juju, what did she tell you about me hanging out with you?"
"She said you only hang out with me because Mrs. Smith told you to."
"Juju, that's not true. I chose to hang out with you." I told her.
I held her for a while then I saw some blood coming from her arms.
"Juju, looks like you've got a tight grip on your arms. You wanna take your hands out?" I asked her.
She didn't answer.
"Come on Juju, here I'll help." I told her gently.
I gently pulled her left hand out of her right arm and she winced as I managed to pull her nails out of her right arm. Blood started flowing out of her right arm where her nails were seconds ago.
"Sorry." I whispered to her.
I did the same to her left arm and slowly pulled her fingernails out. Blood flowed out of her left arm. She cried.
"It's ok Juju, I've got you." I told her rubbing her back as she wrapped her arms around my left arm.
She cried into my shoulder as I held her in my arms. I looked around my now messy room and I'm pretty sure I didn't leave my room this messy.
"Juju, were you looking for something?" I asked her.
She gave a slight nod.
"What were you looking for?" I asked her.
She didn't answer.
"Juice?" I asked her.
No answer.
"My hoodie?"
She looked at me and nodded.
"I-I couldn't f-find i-i-it." She told me.
"Angel, it's in my school bag." I told her.
"W-w-why?" She wailed.
"So I could take it to classes tomorrow."
"W-w-why?"
"I looked up your schedule, we have similar classes and you generally get cold and I know you like my hoodie."
"T-thanks." She smiled.
I picked Juju up so I could get my hoodie for her but she didn't look to happy.
"Please d-don't leave." She told me, clinging onto me tighter.
"Juju, I'm just trying to get your favourite hoodie."
She smiled at me.
"You wanna come get it with me?" I asked her.
She nodded.
"Ok, you wanna walk or do you want me to carry you?" I asked her.
She snuggled her head into my chest more.
"Ok, I'll carry you." I laughed.
I carried her out of my smaller room and into the room with a TV and couch.
"My bag is always there Juju." I told her as I pointed towards the bag hooks.
She followed my finger to where I was pointing and jumped out of my arms and ran towards the bags hanging on the hooks. She started frantically searching through each bag, tipping all the contents out of the bags. She searched through 3 of the 9 bags.
"Which one is it?!" She asked annoyed.
"The one with my name on it." I told her.
All the guys had 3 bags each, one for school, sport and personal. My school bag was black with my name printed on the straps, my sport bag was a plain white bag with our basketball team logo on it and my name and jersey number printed on it and my personal bag was blue with my last name on it.
She picked up the three bags with my name on it and held it up to me.
"These all have your name on it!" She said frustrated.
"The black one Juju." I told her calmly as I started putting all the stuff back into the other 2 bags which were Elliots.
"Find it Juju?" I asked her as she tipped my school bags contents out.
"I can't find it!" She complained.
"Did you check all the pockets?" I asked her.
"Yes." She said.
SHe handed me the bag and I opened the smaller pocket and I took out my hoodie and held it out for her. She snatched it aggressively and hugged it before climbing back into my arms.
"Thank you Sawyer." She smiled as she snuggled into my arms hugging the hoodie.
___________________________________
Chapter 20! This was a very long chapter, more than 2000 words!
I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did.
See you in the next chapter!
-Sarah.
written: 05/01/2024
Published: 08/01/2024??