It was finally the weekend before finals. Once that was over, the following week was graduation and I could finally say goodbye to this damn place. It was bittersweet but not in the normal sense. For me, it was sweet because it was finally over. It was bitter because I was another step closer to starting law school and who knew what the fuck was going to happen with that. I didn't want to stay in the moment and I sure as hell was not ready for the future. I just hoped that I was right, that my mental health would improve after leaving here. Maybe I would find my drive once again and law school wouldn't be that bad. Maybe.
It was going to be a long night for me. Jongin was having his final performance with the dance club. Afterward we were heading to a party. Of course Jessi gave me no choice but I figured I'd indulge her this one final time. There was no telling if we would actually stay in contact after all this was said and done. This could be the last time we would spend time together. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, but I didn't give myself the space to dwell on it. I was filled with enough trepidation already, I didn't need the anxiety to grow. With my makeup on, shorts and a cute top, and sneakers for comfort, I made my way to campus to meet the rest of the group.
I was aware that it would be Jessi, Jackson, and Mark. I had a feeling that Danielle would be there as well. I could only hope that she would keep to herself as she had been whenever I passed by her on campus. She was the second person I was glad to be getting far away from. It was a shame though. She had been my closest friend throughout college, and it just took one argument for all of it to go up in flames. I guess we weren't actually that close. Regardless, I wish her the best and that she stays the fuck away from me.
When I reached the auditorium, I scouted out Jessi and the others. They had saved seats close to the front. When I spotted Jessi, she squealed and jumped up to give me a hug. I then greeted the others. Everyone but Danielle of course. Jessi saved me the seat at the end. She was the buffer between me and Danielle. While they were all chatting, I kept my focus on the stage, waiting for the event to start. My mind drifted off to Chanyeol. I hadn't seen him since Wednesday and I barely heard from him too. I figured he would probably be present since his best friend was performing. I wondered where he was sitting and with whom.
The show started and I was locked in. People sung, danced, and played instruments. Most of the dancers from the club had solos, including Jongin and Yixing. It was a good time. Halfway through, I stopped breathing when Chanyeol hopped on the stage with Yixing. The cheers were loud. I heard various people calling out Chanyeol's name. I guess he was much more popular than I originally assumed. They both had guitars in their hands and stepped up to the two microphones that were set up. Chanyeol, being the giant that he is, had to readjust his which just pulled laughter from the crowd. I hadn't realized I was clutching onto my seat so tightly until I felt my fingers start to ache. His deep voice filled the room as he reintroduced himself and Yixing and that they were going to play a few songs. They simultaneously begun strumming and a gentle melody filled the air. Yixing started it off. His voice was soft and sweet. Chanyeol's voice then came into play. Deep and rich. They harmonized beautifully. During Chanyeol's verse, I was able to hear a slight rasp come through as he belted out note after note. When the song came to an end, the room erupted with applause, but they weren't done yet. They set their guitars aside and a beat started playing over the speakers. It was upbeat and had people cheering again before they even started. Chanyeol began this time and he was rapping. Yixing soon joined in too and people were on their feet. Fuck they were talented. I was starting to wonder if there was anything that they couldn't do. When their performance ended, they received a standing ovation. I was even on my feet cheering.
"Oh my gosh, that was so good." Jessi gushed.
"Chanyeol is so fine." I heard Danielle say. It made me cringe.
"Right? I have this one friend that has been trying to hook up with him all semester." Jessi said.
"I heard he fucks everyone." Said Danielle.
"Apparently not." Jessi shrugged. "And you know how rumors are."
"Hm. He's probably not into your friend then."
"Who do you know that he's fucked?" Jessi challenged.
"I mean I don't know anyone personally, but I've heard stories from some people."
"They could easily be making it up. Who wouldn't want to fuck him?" Jessi pointed out.
"Facts." Danielle agreed. "Think I should give it a shot tonight?" Jessi laughed and I had to stifle one and pretend I wasn't listening.
"You sure as hell can try."
"I will." Danielle crossed her arms and stared at the stage. I felt Jessi nudge me.
"You okay?" She asked once she had my attention.
"Yep. All good." I replied.
"You're coming with us later, right?"
"I guess." I sighed and she laughed.
"I'm gonna miss you Brooke. I know you're going to disappear on us after graduation, but I just want to let you know that I'm glad we became friends." This felt sudden. I didn't expect her to get so sentimental. I didn't have any words. I just smiled and nodded. She seemed to understand. The show resumed and more performers graced the stage. Finally, it was time for the finale. The dance club rushed the stage, hyping up the crowd who cheered loudly. They took their places and the music started. Their formations were clean. They hit each beat with precision. It was breathtaking. It felt as if it ended too soon. Of course, they received a standing ovation as well and the loudest cheers of the night. The hosts thanked everyone for attending, and it was over. We hung back as the auditorium emptied out, waiting for Jongin and Sehun. I was surprised, but not really, to see Chanyeol and Yixing walking with them. I caught Danielle sending Jessi a look and she just rolled her eyes in response. We dished out congratulations and praises to the four men. I hung back after giving Jongin a hug because then the four were mobbed by the others. Chanyeol swiftly occupied by Danielle. I waited quietly until they finally decided to get moving.
Turns out, they had to drop their things off and change before heading to the party so there was no reason for us to have waited for them, but we had time to kill anyway. We slowly made our way off campus to where the party was being held. I didn't know who was throwing it, but apparently he was loaded and most of the seniors were going to be present. I wasn't looking forward to the crowd that was going to be there, but I figured I could find a corner to hide in like I usually did. It was a shame though. It was my final year. The final few weeks. I should have been partying hard with my friends, but I just wasn't in the mood. The hole in my chest was still gaping, my anxiety was reaching alarming levels, and I felt queasy. I should be in bed, but deep down I knew I wanted to be out at least for this one last time. If anything, to take it all in. I just couldn't bring myself to fully enjoy it.
His house – or his parent's house – was massive. I followed the group in, and they immediately navigated to find drinks. Music blared and there was already a large group of people out back, where the main party was, having the time of their lives while a few strays were mingling inside the house. The alcohol was plentiful, and there were even snacks laid out in the huge kitchen. I decided that this was where I would hover. Jessi put a drink in my hand and stood by me while she chatted with Danielle. It was strange that they were talking so casually while Danielle and I were actively ignoring each other. I was fine with it though. I would rather her ignore my existence than throw shady comments my way. I nodded my head to the music as I snacked on chips and drank. It didn't take long for Jessi to tell me that they would be right back and then walk off hand in hand with Danielle. I sighed and leaned against the counter.
I was grateful no one tried to approach me to talk. They all seemed focused on getting completely wasted and living their best lives. Not having time to attempt conversation with someone who looked like they would bite off their head without hesitation. That's kind of how I felt anyway. On edge and uncomfortable. I needed to leave soon but I wanted to at least wait for Jongin, so I stayed put. I watched people filter in and out of the kitchen. Twenty minutes later, the person I was waiting for entered with person number three that I had been avoiding.
"Brooke!" Jongin threw his arms up and hurried over. I giggled and hugged him back while Sehun continued out.
"Hey, Nini."
"What are you doing hiding in here?" He took the cup from my hand and took a sip before handing it back. I just shrugged. "Come dance."
"Oh, no thank you." I said, resisting when he tried to tug me out of the kitchen.
"Please?" He begged with his fucking signature pout. I sighed and downed my drink. He smiled victoriously and pulled me to where the crowd was. Of course this was where Jessi and Danielle were. Jessi was dancing with Jackson while Danielle was dancing with some guy I had never seen before. Mark and Sehun were surely somewhere in the fray. I started swaying to the music, following Jongin's lead. "You have fun tonight?" He asked, leaning in to be heard over the music. I nodded.
"It was nice." I replied.
"You're ready to leave aren't you?" This pulled a laugh from me.
"You know me so well." I said. He chuckled.
"I'm going to miss you Brooke." He frowned, no longer dancing. I stopped as well. "Please don't disappear on me." The way his eyes were pleading was squeezing what was left of my heart. What was up with these sudden confessions? As much as I wanted to tell him I wasn't going to disappear, that I would stay in contact with him so he wouldn't have to miss me, the words didn't leave my lips. I didn't want to make promises I couldn't keep. I had no idea what was going to happen after graduation but I already had the strong urge to distance myself from everything and everyone associated with this school. The best I could do was wrap my arms around him and hold him close. I heard him sigh as he hesitated to hug me back. He knew. He held me tight. We stayed like that for half of the song. Slowly rocking from side to side. He gave me a kiss on the cheek as he finally broke away, a sad smile on his face.
"Jongin! Where you been man?" Two men suddenly rushed him, gushing about his performance. My lungs were squeezing. I gave him one last look before I made my way back into the house. It was kind of ironic since outside was where people usually went when they needed air. I just needed somewhere less crowded and I found that in the nearly empty living room. I dropped down on the couch and took deep breaths.
I sat still, hearing laughter and joyful commotion. For those who passed through the living room to the rest of the party, I saw the stars in their eyes. I watched how carefree they were. I hadn't felt like that in so long. I felt weighed down yet empty at the same time. Unfulfilled. Confused. Exhausted. It felt like everything was just wrong. I was getting sucked into a blackhole, and I couldn't find my way out.
"Hey." A knee tapped mine. When I looked over, I nearly laughed. There Chanyeol sat. Blunt in hand. Hat pulled low. Black t-shirt, silver chain hanging around his neck, and black ripped jeans. "Want a hit?" He grinned slyly. I let the laugh slip past my lips. He laughed with me. "Full circle huh?" He handed me the blunt and I took a hit, puffing out smoke rings.
"Yeah. Full circle." I handed it back.
"You alright? I thought you were here with your friends?" He asked.
"They're around here somewhere." I shrugged. He nodded. He sent smoke into the air and closed his eyes for a moment. "Where are your friends?"
"Around here somewhere." He met my gaze and smiled. There was silence between us as we passed the blunt back and forth for some time. "It's almost over, huh?"
"It is." Our gazes were locked again. I wanted to kiss him. The urge was immense, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. His eyes looked down at my lips then back to my eyes. But he didn't move. The air was thick around us. He took a long drag then turned back to me, hand on my nape. He shot-gunned the smoke into my mouth then closed the distance. His soft lips moved slowly against mine as if he was savoring the taste. I didn't know how much time passed before he added his tongue into the mix. I melted under him. It was weird kissing in public even though it was exactly how we met. It was different now. We were no longer strangers. Damn. A lot has happened since then. Who would have thought that the night I was going to choke Isla out, I would meet the most perfect human who gave me the best dick I have ever had. After all I had been through, inconceivable.
Much to my dismay, he slowed to a stop. Giving me a few last pecks before pulling away. His eyes searched mine for a moment before he created more distance between us. Losing his heat was disappointing.
"Do you want a drink?" He asked. I nodded, not able to find my words. He gave me another kiss before offering me the blunt, I shook my head and he took it with him. My mind was already swimming. The two drinks I had earlier along with the weed was making everything hazy. It was a pleasant haze though. One that I needed to distract me enough from whatever the fuck I was feeling earlier.
I waited and waited and waited and soon almost twenty minutes passed and Chanyeol was nowhere in sight. I stood, deciding I needed to stretch my legs for a bit and possibly hunt him down. There were only a few people in the kitchen which really made me wonder where he had disappeared to. Maybe he ran out on me. Wouldn't be the first time someone did. I fixed myself a drink and dared to take a peek outside. A quick scan of the crowd revealed Chanyeol being grinded on by two girls. One in front of him, his hands on her hips, and one behind him. Cool. I turned back into the house and gulped down my drink then tossed the empty cup in the trash. I didn't think twice before heading toward the front door. It was time for me to go.
"I know you're not leaving without saying bye to me first." His hand gripped my ass and I swatted him away. He laughed and stepped closer to me. The alcohol on his breath told me he was tipsy and so was I, making it much harder to turn and walk away when everything was starting to spin. "I miss you like crazy Brooke. Why do you keep running from me?" His hands came up to rest on my sides but I pushed them away.
"Don't touch me."
"Stop pushing me away."
"Leave me alone."
"I can't. I need you."
"You are fucking insane." I grimaced and tried to get away from him again, but he blocked me off, keeping me between him and a pillar.
"Let's talk. We can work this out."
"No." I said firmly. He moved into my space again, hands on my hips.
"Please, baby." He said into my ear. I shoved him away. He didn't seem to like that. He was about to step up to me again, but a large body blocked my view. I craned my neck far back to catch a glimpse of none other than Chanyeol. He was looking down at me with furrowed eyebrows.
"You okay?" he asked. He was standing so close I couldn't see anything but him.
"Yo, we were talking." I heard Eric growl over the music. He tried to get around Chanyeol, but Chanyeol moved so he was still blocking Eric's access to me.
"Brooke." Chanyeol urged. I realized I didn't answer. There was too much happening for my brain to keep up. I guess I was fine since he was there. I nodded. "Let's go." He reached for my hand but Eric weaseled his way around to the other side of me and grabbed my arm tightly.
"We're not done." Before I had a chance to react, Chanyeol grabbed Eric's wrist and forcefully detached his hand from me.
"Don't touch." He snapped.
"What the fuck is your problem?" Eric snarled, stepping up to Chanyeol who didn't flinch. "I don't know who you think you are, but you need to stop getting in my way. This has nothing to do with you."
"Keep your hands off her then."
"So she has been running her mouth?" He chuckled humorlessly as he focused on me. "I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut and stop lying about me?"
"Yo, back up and I'm not going to tell you again." Chanyeol used one hand to push Eric back.
"Mind your fucking business." Eric shoved Chanyeol backwards in return, causing him to stumble. I didn't know what came over me, but I jumped between the two and shoved Eric equally as hard.
"Chill the fuck out Eric." I warned with a scowl. The little scuffle between the three of us was starting to draw attention. I just hoped it would be enough for Eric to walk away. It was not the time to cause a scene. Eric ran his tongue over his teeth and scoffed. Suddenly, he grabbed my shirt with both hands and threw me aside, causing me to fly over the coffee table and hit the ground with a heavy thud. I heard loud gasps then a loud grunt. Sharp pain shot up my leg as I sat up. I looked to see Chanyeol on top of Eric, throwing punches effortlessly. Shit. There was a loud commotion as people cheered and yelled for others to come see, but no one stopped it. The loud "Chanyeol is fighting!" is what got me to struggle to my feet as the living room filled up quickly.
"Chanyeol, stop!" I heard, finally. It was Yixing. I limped over to a pillar to help me keep my balance. I could barely put weight on my left leg. Through the crowd, I saw Jongin and Yixing dragging a struggling, red faced Chanyeol off Eric who was still on the floor, cowering.
"I dare you to put your fucking hands on her again." Chanyeol sounded furious. "I dare you." Jongin and Yixing tried to calm him down as they created distance between the men. Eric tried to sit up but flopped down on his back again. There was blood running down various cuts on his already bruising face. My focus went back to Chanyeol who was still fuming. There was an intense rage in his eyes. Jongin attempted to stop people from approaching while Yixing did his best to calm his friend down and find out what happened. The room was buzzing. Everyone was talking excitedly about what happened. It wasn't long before people who saw the full scene unfold start to point toward me. I would have run if I could, but I was stunned and could barely stand straight. I had no idea how I was supposed to get myself out of the house.
"Brooke?" Jessi's voice broke through my swimming thoughts. I looked to see her and Jackson approaching through the crowd. Danielle, Mark, and Sehun were not far behind. "Hey, are you okay?" She was cautious as if she were approaching a terrified baby animal. I just glanced at all the faces looking back at me before fixing my gaze on Chanyeol who looked slightly calmer, but fists still clenched.
"I – I'm fine." I said, meeting her gaze again. "I need – I'm going to go." I pushed away from the pillar and tried to take a step but almost met the ground if I didn't catch myself along with the help of Jessi.
"You are not fine. You can't even walk." She said.
"I'm fine."
"Let me order you a ride." Jackson said, pulling out his phone.
"Here, lean against me." Mark said, coming beside me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and I leaned into him.
"This is fucking insane." Jessi said, running a hand through her hair. "Did he really throw you over the table?" I nodded. "That sick motherfucker. I can't believe this. Chanyeol is such a saint."
"Yeah, he really handled him." Mark shook his head and let out a low whistle looking, with the rest of us, as someone finally took pity on Eric and helped him to his feet. He swayed a bit, one of his eyes was swollen shut. His lip was completely busted and leaking along with his nose. I looked away. I didn't feel any sympathy or pity for him but the whole situation was making me sick. I needed to get out.
"Five minutes." Jackson announced. He came to my other side, and the two men helped me out of the house. I took a deep inhale of the fresh air as soon as we passed the threshold.
"Maybe we should take you to the hospital." Jessi suggested.
"I'll be fine." I said. My leg hurt like hell and the smart thing would be to go to the hospital, but I just wanted to lay down. I needed everything to stop.
"Oh, that's where the car is taking us." Jackson said. I didn't have it in me to argue. The car pulled up just as we made it down the stairs. Jessi and Mark sat with me in the back while Jackson sat in the front. As we were pulling off, I saw Chanyeol watching from the stairs.
Hours and many scans later, I was discharged with the diagnosis of a mild knee sprain. They gave me crutches, a brace, and told me to stay off my leg for a few days and ice it, and I should be fine. Jessi, Mark, and Jackson escorted me home. I felt bad for ruining the night, but they kept telling me how bad they felt for me. Not with those exact words but by how they thought the situation was "so messed up" and that Eric should be in jail. Jongin had called to check on me and said he would come by in the morning. Jessi walked me up to my apartment while Jackson and Mark waited outside. As we approached my door, I was surprised to see who was waiting. Sitting in front of my apartment, eyes closed and head resting against the door. Jessi looked at me puzzled.
"Brooke...why is Chanyeol in front of your apartment?" Jessi asked quietly. I just shook my head. It was not the time to get into it. The click of my crutches must have caught his attention. He sat up with a start and his eyes widened a bit when he saw me. He quickly got to his feet. "Do you want me to stay?" I knew what she meant. I shook my head. Chanyeol was harmless. When it came to me anyway. "Okay. I love you. I'll see you tomorrow." She gave me a hug and Chanyeol a wave before she left. For some reason, I couldn't look at Chanyeol. I was feeling all sorts of emotions, but embarrassment and shame were in the forefront. Neither of us said anything. He just stepped out of my way so I could open my door and followed me inside. I dropped down heavily on my couch and propped my leg up on my coffee table after taking off my shoes. I sighed and sunk into the cushions, feeling the exhaustion seep into my muscles.
"Are you okay?" Chanyeol asked, sitting beside me. His voice was soft and slightly timid. I gave him a nod. I saw from my peripheral vision that he was flexing his hand. I snuck a glance and saw his knuckles were a blazing red and slightly swollen.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah. Yixing gave me some ice earlier." He held up a Ziploc bag that was just full of water now. It was another tense silence. "I'm sorry about...that. He just..."
"Did you know?" I had spent the last few hours thinking about it even though I really didn't want to. The way Chanyeol reacted didn't make sense. The way he had been acting any time Eric was around didn't make sense. If anyone else had interfered after he tossed me aside, not knowing Eric or even me that well, they probably wouldn't have hit him. But if they at least knew me the way Chanyeol did, a few punches may have been warranted. However, they wouldn't have taken it as far. Chanyeol was clearly out for blood. If Yixing and Jongin hadn't stopped him...I didn't want to think about what he could have done. That actually scared me.
"No...not...really." He was pressing his thumb, fiddling with his fingers any way he could without irritating his knuckles.
"What does that mean?" I finally tried to meet his gaze but he was avoiding me now. He chewed on his lip and looked up at me.
"I noticed him around campus. Every time he was around you and how you reacted. So, I asked around." He was scowling now. Face full of disgust. His fists tightened, despite the pain that must have been causing. I felt sick. "When he put his hands on you...I just – I couldn't." He shook his head and looked down at his lap again. Jaw clenching and unclenching. There was a long silence as I tried to find what I wanted to say. All of this was too messy. None of this was supposed to be so...complicated. It was distressing.
"Thank you for defending me." I said, finally. I met his gaze. He looked like a scolded puppy. "I really appreciate it. And appreciate you for all the times you got me away from him and got my mind off him and school."
"Why does it sound like you're breaking up with me?" He said with a weak chuckle.
"I guess that's what it is." I shrugged. He frowned again.
"What do you mean?"
"These past two years have completely and utterly fucked me up. I'm not going to get into it, but I jumped from guy to guy, all to help me avoid my problems. I need to figure my shit out." I explained. "Plus, school is almost over. Not like this was going to continue right? It was bound to end sometime."
"Right." He said, almost too quietly, still holding onto my gaze. We just stared at each other. Not saying anything but at the same time saying enough.
"Bye Chanyeol." I whispered. His hand reached for mine and I flinched. I fucking flinched. I saw the hurt descend upon his face like a ton of falling bricks. He nodded solemnly and stood. I heard a soft "bye Brooke" as he walked to my door and let himself out.
Study, sleep, rinse and repeat. That's how the rest of my weekend went. I was glad that I already had my thesis presentation because of my knee, but by the time I finished with finals on Thursday, only the brace remained. The week went by in a flash. I felt as if I had returned to autopilot. Someone was at the control board because each day was just a drab cycle. I could barely remember how I got through the week, but I did. Now it was over. It was finally over. I wasn't excited though. I wasn't sad either. I was just numb. Although I was a pro at isolating myself, I really felt it this time. I felt the loneliness. I felt the ache in my chest of something missing. Here and there Jessi and Jongin checked in but that was it. We were all too busy studying to hang out. Or at least that's what I assumed being as though they didn't offer. But I felt how dull my life was. Nothing to do and no one to talk to. I fought hard to not contact Chanyeol. I couldn't.
I thought often if it was the right thing to do, cutting him off so abruptly. I just couldn't stomach the fact that he knew this whole time. Or for however long it was. Regardless, he beat Eric to a pulp because of me. All those times he suddenly hung out with me was because he knew. He wanted to keep Eric away from me. It was nice of him, but I didn't want that. I didn't want him to feel like he had to come to my rescue. I didn't want him to pity me or feel like it was his responsibility to take care of me in that way. He wasn't supposed to be there for that. We were just meant to keep each other warm. There was no way we could have continued after the fight anyway. Now that I knew he knew, I would second guess every action. Was he sticking around just because he felt bad for me? Was he using me because I was vulnerable? Easy? No. That wasn't like him. Right? I was glad he never looked at me differently though. To my knowledge anyway. I knew it would start to get weird between us because I would start pulling back. He was supposed to be a completely separate entity from that messy part of my life. He was the distraction. I didn't need him to know how weak I was. How I let those men use me the way they did. How I stayed regardless, letting them use me as an emotional and, in Eric's case, a physical punching bag. It was humiliating.
But all that was behind me now. I was standing in the midst of students donned in their caps and gowns, listening as the university president said his final words. Students excitedly waiting to flip their cap tassels to the other side, indicating they were now graduates. I was a beat after everyone, jolted from my thoughts when the loud cheering begun. I moved my tassel to the other side but felt nothing. At the conclusion of the ceremony, we began filing out of the auditorium. Outside to the uncomfortable heat of May to meet loved ones and friends. The crowd was stifling. I dodged arms swinging from hugs and tried not to stumble in my heels on the uneven pavement. I muttered excuse me's as I weaved between people until I realized I had no idea where my parents would be. I sighed and found an empty space by the half wall lining the courtyard and pulled out my phone to shoot a text to them. As I waited, I watched the glee in everyone's faces. Friends excitedly hugging one another and snapping photos in their regalia, some shedding tears as they said their goodbyes, some happily reminding each other of plans they made for later on. Proud parents and other family members voicing said pride, handing over flowers and balloons, making sure they were capturing each moment. My phone vibrated in my hand and I saw a text from my mother instructing me to meet them at the pavilion where they were serving refreshments. I rolled my eyes and started the journey. Jessi and the others had found me before the ceremony started and we took photos then. It was a smart idea because I was not in the mood to hang around and fake smiles. When I hugged them, it really felt like goodbye. I pushed that to the back of my mind. I wasn't willing to process that at the moment.
Out of reflex, my eyes scanned as I navigated to the pavilion. Everything slowed to a stop when I caught sight of an all too familiar big-eared giant. He was walking from the direction I was walking toward. His hair styled perfectly under his cap making him look suave as always. His bright eyes trained on me. There was no sound. There was no one else around. Just him. I felt as if I were moving through hardening cement the closer we got to one another. As we were passing each other, his hand came out. I remembered the night we said goodbye. When my stupid reflexes, thanks to Eric, caused me to react in a way I never would have around him. I had to shove the memory of the look on his face deep in a bolted box unless I would have spent the entire week crying. I met his gaze again and clasped his hand. He gave me a small smile and my hand a gentle squeeze before he slowly let go, our fingertips grazing before the touch was completely gone and I felt a chill rip through me. He was gone. The whole moment happened in a matter of seconds, but it felt like hours. There was no time to linger because of the sea of people around, practically pushing us in opposite directions. But I felt the ghost of his touch the entire way to the pavilion.
When I finally scouted my parents out, they were perched on armchairs laughing with each other about something as they sipped on their drinks and ate their finger sandwiches. One would think they would be more excited about their only child graduating college, but then again, it was always the expectation. Just a box checked on a list.
"There you are." My father beamed, being the first to see me. They placed their food and drinks on the table beside them and stood. "Congratulations sweetheart." He said, giving me a hug. Breathe.
"You did it." My mother smiled fondly, the next to hug me. "One step closer to achieving your goals." She gave me a kiss on the cheek. Breathe.
"So," my father clasped his hands together, "we have reservations at la Serre for dinner, but you still haven't told us what you wanted for a gift." My throat closed up. My nose burned. The weight on my chest was too much to bear.
"Brooke?" My mother's hand came up to my arm. Concern was on both of their faces. A rare look on them. I took a shaky breath.
"Therapy." I croaked. Tears finally breaking loose. "I want fucking therapy."