(TW!! Mentions of abuse and s/a!!)
Just like Rick said, at sundown we set off for the community. My heart doesn't feel right, maybe it's just anxiety or-no, I don't get anxiety. It's because this is a bad idea and nobody seems to realize it
It's a random ass man, on a random ass day, wearing a random ass polo, yapping about some random ass "community".
Not community,
Prison.
And not the prison, definitely worse than the pre-apocalypse prison that I went to, and that prison had to get shut down after how they were treating their inmates.
You know, starvation, torture, beating, neglect. The usual. Luckily I only had to deal with a little bit of neglect but other than that, I was one of the luckier people.
I'm only going to the "community" for 'Lyss, Damien, and Daryl. Not really by choice but I guess I could just leave if I actually wanted to, so, maybe by choice?
I'm sitting in this R.V. with everyone but Michonne, Aaron, and Glenn. The sofa I'm sitting on feels like I'm sitting on a scratchy rock. The inside of the R.V. looks exactly like Dale's, probably the same model.
I'm sitting on the sofa with Daryl and Alyssa. Abraham is driving and Damien is sitting in the passenger seat.
Alyssa lays her head on my shoulder, I tense but allow it.
"Thank you," She says quietly.
I raise an eyebrow and look down at her, "For...?"
"Coming." She removes her head from my shoulder and looks at me. "I saw it in your eyes, you wanted to leave."
I clench my jaw and Daryl looks at me. "I didn't-"
"Yeah you did, but you didn't. You didn't leave because of us, Damien, me, Daryl."
Mind reader, Jesus?
I don't respond so she continues. "I know you don't trust like...anyone, especially men after like...everything that's happened to you, post or pre-apocalypse. So it was really brave of you to come with us and not leave. Leaving would have been easier, but you didn't choose it."
My heart squeezes, this is definitely something that I could cry over but I don't cry anymore, minus when Daryl is sad.
I bite my bottom lip slightly and look into Alyssa's eyes.
How the fuck did I deserve a sister like that?
"Thank you," Is all I manage to say.
"What the dick?" Abraham says, slowing down to almost a complete stop.
"What?" I ask, standing up and walking over to his and Damien's seats. I stand in the middle of them and crouch down to look through the windshield.
"A flare," Damien notices, pointing to a red dot in the sky.
"How far away from them were we?" I ask. My heart pounds in my ears and adrenaline courses through my veins immediately
I fucking knew this was a bad idea.
"We're going that way. They could be in trouble." Abraham says, revving the engine and booking it forward.
I fly backward and have to grab ahold of the chairs to hold me up.
"A warning would have been incredibly helpful," I grunt.
Abraham just smirks and takes a sharp left as Damien spits out directions toward the water tower near the flare.
Abraham decides to be "funny" and as I'm looking at the map, he swerves right. My fingers let go of the seats and I fall straight onto Daryl's lap.
"Get a room!" Abraham yells with a smirk.
"Fuck off!" I yell back, scooting off of Daryl, trying to ignore his bulge, and sitting next to him.
"What the hell is happening?" Carol yells from the bedroom at the back of the R.V.
"A flare!" I inform her.
"From who?" She asks, grabbing the wall to reframe from getting thrown around.
"We think Rick and everyone else," Alyssa responds for me.
Inejra joins in with her usual sass. "How do we know? How about we send Mr. Science Man and Granny to go look?"
Alyssa leans forward so Inejra can hear her. "You're only saying that because you don't like them." She hisses through gritted teeth.
Inejra shrugs with a smirk and looks out of her window.
I roll my eyes with a smirk, "Well, whatever the hell it was, we're checking it out."
Carol nods and stumbles back into the bedroom, getting tossed around like a bag of ecstasy at a party because of all of the rocks Abraham keeps hitting.
"What are we doing when we get to that flare?" Alyssa asks.
I pause, "Not dying?"
She presses her lips in a thin line, turning them white, and nods. "Great plan."
"Thanks, thought of it myself."
"Hey, 'Lyss." Inejra drags out the words in a playful flirt. "The seat next to Carl is open." She nods her head toward Carl who is sitting across the table from her. His cheeks deepen in color and he looks out the window, avoiding all of our eyes.
Alyssa's face goes red and she looks at her knees with a small smile. "I was talking to Adrian." She whispers flusteredly.
I smirk and nudge her, "No, go sit over there. I don't mind."
Alyssa's crimson face deepens, "Adrian, stop." She whispers with a smile. Her face is still trying to be hidden by her hair as she stares at her knees.
I scoff and lean back, manspreading and smirking.
Damien leans back, "How pissed would you be if we told you the tank is empty?" Almost on queue, the R.V begins slowing and sputtering.
I sit up quickly, "Incredibly."
"Welp..." Damien shrugs and stands up, "What do we do now?"
I roll my eyes and stand up, "Uh-look for gas." I say in a deep, sarcastic voice.
"Wait," Daryl quickly stands up and turns me to look at him. "They could have people posted to watch us. It's not safe for you to go."
I raise an eyebrow, "You underestimate me because I'm a woman." I don't wait for a response as I turn on my heels and walk out of the R.V.
Damien, Abraham, Carol, and Daryl all follow behind.
Damien looks at his map, "There's a gas station on the corner of Ellie Street. That's like..." He looks around as if he's doing math. "Some amount of miles away."
I scoff and crack my whip, "Alright, sounds good enough for me."
Everyone agrees variously before we set off North, following the line of the road but not staying on it.
I wonder if there's any...nothing.
I pick at my cuticles, adrenaline slowly pricks into my veins as I jump at every stick crack. The woods are dark, the only thing illuminating the area around us is the faint glow of the full moon.
Damien slows so he and I can walk together. "Stop picking at your cuticles. There's not gonna be any dope there."
I drop my arms and look at Damien with narrowed eyes. "Didn't expect there to be any."
He scoffs, "I know you. Everytime there's drugs involved some way or another, you tear your cuticles up."
"I do not."
"You do to. All of us notice it, we all know."
I raise an eyebrow, "Everyone?" My voice is suspicious and unconvinced.
Damien nods, "Mhm. Especially at the prison, whoo." He whistles quietly. "We all had a hunch you were doing some shit but nobody ever said anything. The kids are the only ones oblivious to it."
I clench my jaw, "I wasn't doing shit at the prison after Alyssa got shot."
Our voices our quiet and collected, we pause every few words to listen.
"The needles I found in your room during the war tell a way different story."
"Eat a fucking lego. Those were old ones."
Damien puts his hands up in mock surrender, "Whatever. But we all know, Daryl was just brave enough to actually bring it up I guess."
I roll my eyes and my heart pounds with the fact that everyone knew I was high 24/7 but I can't act like I was doing anything or that I believe him.
"'Kay well I didn't do shit." My voice sounds like a sassy teenager's voice.
Damien purses his lips and nods, "'Ight."
Could they really tell? I wasn't very slick about it but I wasn't obvious either.
Daryl puts his hand up and we all silently halt to a stop.
My breath shudders quietly as I try to breathe silently. We hide behind trees and listen for a moment before Daryl straightens up.
"We're good." He says, walking forward.
A few minutes go by and we make it to a broken-down Shell gas station. The windows are cracked but not smashed and there's a few Walkers roaming around.
Abraham kicks open the locked door with a loud bang and goes in first. Daryl and Carol stay behind to stock up on the gas.
When I walk in, a cold gust of wind causes goosebumps to rise on my skin. The lights are all broken and withered and the ground is damp.
I start down the food aisle, looking for Pringles. The gas station smells musty and oddly wet, everything has a darker hue than what it should normally look like.
I gasp quietly as I trip over something lying on the ground. I hit the ground with a quiet thud as I try to silence my fall.
I cuss silently and sit up, looking to see what I tripped on.
My face drops and my heartbeat picks up.
"Take the fuckin' wipes and go clean up your goddamn mess!" Nick screams, his rage evident in how his veins pop out of his neck.
I flinch as he throws the roll of Clorox wipes at me. I nod quickly, scrambling to grab the container. My shaky hands struggle to open the container of wipes as Nick's eyes stab me.
"I'm sorry," I whisper quickly, kneeling on the ground and drying the water off the ground with the wipes.
"Sorry doesn't clean the fucking water off my hardwood floors!" He screams, slamming his fist down on the table and making me jump.
"I know, I know." My shaky voice is full of dread and fear.
Once I finish cleaning up my mess, I straighten up and tensely walk over to the trash and throw my wipes away.
Rough hands grab my waist and pin me down to the counter. I gasp quietly and tense though allowing my body to seem relaxed enough so Nick doesn't get too mad.
I scream out in pain as a cigarette butt sizzles out on my back, destroying my skin below it.
Nick leans down and whispers in my ear, "Now you know not to knock over water you slut."
A whimper escapes my lips as I nod and Nick removes the cigarette butt from my back.
His fingers hook on the waistband of my leggings and he tugs them down, along with my underwear.
I sigh as he presses my face into the counter. He groans as he roughly enters me, causing a gasp of pain as he doesn't give me time to adjust before he begins roughly and quickly thrusting back and forth.
"Nick-" I groan, tears streaming down my face from the pain.
"The only words I should hear coming from your mouth is 'yes sir'." A hard fist collides with the back of my head. "Understand?!"
I sob quietly enough to where he can't hear, "Yes sir." I croak, squeaking quietly in pain.
I cry out as another cigarette butt comes down on my back, this time burning more than one spot on my back.
I gasp and kick the container away, still sitting on the floor with tears streaming down my face. My breathing becomes heavier and the sight of Nick in my mind won't go away.
I lift my hand and feel the cigarette scars on my back, mixed with the scars from the Claimers.
My lip quivers and I cry silently as I feel my imperfections, my trauma, and my fears all scared on my back.
I run a panicked hand through my hair and lay back on the ground, trying to slow my breathing.
I let out a shaky breath through pursed lips, the cold floor stinging my limbs.
"He's gone," I whisper. "You have Abraham, Damien, Daryl, everyone else who would kill him in a heartbeat."
What if he's at Alexandria? No, he's not. I need Glenn right now...why? We barely talk anymore.
"Adrian?" Abraham's voice comes from around the shelf as he rounds into my aisle.
"What're you-" His voice trails cuts off as he notices my shaking hands and my tears. "Are you okay?"
I shut off immediately. I stand up, my face is flat and emotionless-something that always happens when I have a vivid flashback like that, my hands wipe my tears away and I nod.
"Amazing. Is it time to go?"
He nods slowly, his face is scanning mine. "Are you sure-"
"Okay, I'll meet you out there." I turn on my heel and walk out quickly, keeping my eyes off the shelves.
Back at the R.V., We're all sitting in our normal spots. Daryl's noticed something's off about me but I refuse to show it.
His hand gently lays on my thigh and I am immediately tense. The way his jaw clenches, I can tell he knows what's wrong.
"What was it?" He whispers, referring to what brought me back to the idea of Nick.
"Clorox wipes," I whisper, refraining from looking at him.
He sighs and comfortingly tightens his grip on my lower thigh.
"I just want to forget about it." My voice shakes as I hold in my tears. "I want to be able to look at normal things like sticks or Clorox wipes and not think of Switches or cigarette burns."
Daryl sighs and brings his hand to hold mine. "I know." He rasps. I smile weakly and look down at our hands.
"You have sausage fingers." I smile.
"What does that even mean?" He asks.
I shrug with a smirk, "You have fat fingers, duh."
He scoffs in typical Daryl manner.
"There!" Daryl whisper-yells. He straightens up off the wall and waves Rick, Michonne, Aaron, and Glenn to us.
I knock on the door and everyone comes running out to greet everyone.
As everyone is hugging, Aaron appears. "Eric?" He asks, nervously. "Eric?"
"In here." Eric's weak voice comes from inside the warehouse room.
"Eric!" Aaron slams through the door.
"Hey," I say, hugging Glenn.
"Hi?" He responds, hugging me back.
When we break the hug, I greet Rick with a wave. I don't know if I can hug anyone other than Glenn. He always makes me feel better about Nick, maybe because he was the first person I opened up to.
Rick follows after Aaron and the rest of us stay out here to finish greeting each other.
Alyssa looks at me then Glenn, then back to me. I clench my jaw and shake my head.
Shortly after, Rick nods to us that we're allowed inside. Alyssa walks with Carl and Daryl walks with me inside.
Oh my god, please do not tell me she's growing up. Ew. Okay "mom", what the fuck?
We all file into a workshop-looking room. It's got shelves on every inch of the wall and there's tools littered on every table.
The wood floor is dusty and rotted, it squishes every time anyone takes a step.
"Excuse me," Aaron says quietly. "Excuse me. Everyone." All of our conversations slow to a stop as he walks into the room gradually.
We all gather around in a failed circle and listen for his words. "Thank you." He says. "You saved Eric."
He had a broken ankle and he was surrounded by Walkers, he coulda' moved if he wanted to but whatever.
"I owe you. All of you. And I will make sure that debt is paid in full when we get to our community. When we get to Alexandria."
Alexandria is the name? Dumbass name for a dumbass community.
"Now, I'm not sure about you, but I'd rather not do any more driving tonight. Maybe we can hit the road in the morning." He suggests with a tiny chuckle.
"That sounds fine." Rick agrees. "But if we're staying here for the night you're sleeping over there." He points to the corner farthest away from us.
"You really think we gotta do that?" Maggie asks.
"It's the safe play. We don't know you." Rick responds.
"The only way you're gonna stop me from being with him right now is by shooting me."
The only way you're gonna stop me from being with him right now is by shooting me.
A cold chill shoots up my body.
The only way you're gonna stop me from being with him right now is by shooting me.
I raise my hand and feel the scars on my back again.
"Nick stop!" I plead. Tears stream out of my eyes as he pins Kato to the wall. His fists are white as he grips Kato's shirt.
"You need to keep your hands to your fucking self around Adrian!" Kato yells through gritted teeth. The way he speaks, it's obvious he's not scared of Nick at all.
"You need to walk away from her and me if you want to live." Kato's voice is a warning.
Nick's eyes narrow and flash with anger, "The only way you're gonna stop me from being with her is by fucking shooting me!" His voice booms throughout the warehouse, echoing off the walls.
"Nick! Kato it's fine!" I cautiously run over and gently place my hands on Nick's shoulders. "Nick," I whisper cautiously. "Come on, we can just go home." My hands tremble with the thought of what he's going to do when we get home.
I do not want to go home.
"Adrian fuck off!" Nick screams, shoving me to the ground, causing my head to slam against a pole.
My shirt flies up and reveals the garden of scars Nick has placed on my back.
If the room wasn't silent before, it is now.
"What the fuck?" Negan asks, stepping forward as his wife, Lucille runs over to me.
Glenn gently nudges my shoulder with his and he looks at me with concern.
I let out a shaky breath and remove my hand from my back.
Why is this happening? Why can I not stop thinking about him.
When I look, I see that Aaron is gone, which means he's with Eric.
A cold sweat drips down my forehead and my hands shake by my sides.
"What was that?" He whispers.
"Nothing." I respond.
"What triggered that? Was it-"
"Yeah." I nod shakily. "Yeah, it was Nick." I finally turn to look at Gleen. "What Aaron said...it's exactly what Nick said. I-" I sigh to gather my thoughts.
"It's weird, I dunno. What if he's at Alexandria? I can't get that thought out of my mind."
"He's a whole state away." Glenn says slightly softly. He places a comforting hand on my shoulder, "You won't ever have to see him again."
"O-M-G..." Alyssa whispers as the R.V slows to a stop.
I get out of my seat and look out of the window. In front of me are blue, metal, extremely tall walls stretching to as far as I can see. A rusty sign next to the gate reads,
"Welcome to the Alexandria safe zone. Mercy for the lost. Vengence for the plunderers."
Nick isn't there.
He's gone,
Forever.
(Summary:) Adrian keeps having flashbacks to Nick. Her's and Glenn's friendship may rekindle and they finally made it to "Alexandria".