─ 36. late night conversations and confessions
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ELENA'S POV
11 PM
My heart skipped a beat when a soft knock sounded out on the bedroom door.
I had just just settled into bed after showering. Once Dae was sound asleep in his little bed, I left him with a soft kiss on his head and silently left the room. I made sure to avoid the kitchen at all costs when I saw Ae Ri, Munjin, and Mister–Jungkook, in the kitchen.
I considered myself lucky that I had successfully avoided the man of the house.
Now, all I felt was the unaltered fear that rushed through my veins the second Jungkook's head peeked past the doorway. His eyes scanned my form, carefully tucked into the bed - preparing to sleep.
He ignored my squeak of protest and slid his body gracefully past the threshold and shut the door behind him.
Now caged in this room, without an escape - well the door and the window would be a ways of escape, but he would catch me the minute I tried to make a run for it.
You can't always run, Elena. That stupid snarky voice hissed, internally grinning at my misery.
"I need to speak with you." he spoke calmly - feeling the need to try and calm me. The soft tone of his voice only caused me to panic more, and I knew it was reflected on my face at that moment. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and thought of something to say. Anything to say in this moment to somehow save me from this situation.
Jungkook tucked his large tattooed hands in his pockets and leaned against the closed door.
"Umm, can this wait until morning?" I asked, voice crackling due to my nervousness.
"No, Sweetie." Jungkook shook his head, "It can't." he let out a shaky sigh through his lips and watched me, unflinching. I winced at the use of the old nickname and pursed my lips in hopes to contain the intense emotions rushing through my veins.
"What do you need to speak to me about?"
Jungkook let his head fall back against the door and let out a shuddering breath. "Everything; Selene, Dae, you...me..." he trailed off, unable to know where and when to start.
My blood ran cold at the mention of Selene. Would I finally find out where she was? It would take so much stress off me.
I hesitantly nodded, also wondering why he needed to speak about me. Just what was he going to say? What was I going to say?
I carefully inched away from his body when he took a seat at the end of the bed. His eyes flashed with hurt at my doings and guilt welled inside me. He let out a sigh and stretched out his long legs.
I waited, with bated breath, wondering what he was going to say. My heart thundered inside my chest and thousands of thoughts filtered in and out of my head.
"The baby." he said, a roughness to his voice that I hadn't heard before.
I jumped slightly at his tone. Baby. Yes. That's it. His baby...with Selene. My heart seemed like it was squeezed to death inside my chest.
"...It's not mine."
I froze.
What?
No, that can't be right. Could it? It was his...that's what he told me.
My face drained of all color the longer I pondered and took in his words. Oh crackers. I'm so confused.
Jungkook watched my face, seeming to hold his breath.
My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.
What could I say?
"...I...I'm so sorry, Mister Jeon–"
"--Jungkook." He cut in, eyeing me sternly. "I wish for you to call me by my name, Elena."
His command wasn't lost on me. I slowly nodded, avoiding looking into his eyes once his intimidating presence became too much for me. I focused on the bulky casts on my hands.
"I'm sorry." I repeated, a sad frown on my lips. I truly was sad for him. I didn't know all that had happened - but still. "...how did Dae take it?"
Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck, tiredness apparent in his eyes.
"He doesn't know yet, but I'm going to tell him tomorrow." He said, "Apparently Selene was lying the entire time...and I...had no clue of it until Taehyung visited."
Taehyung? The same man Dae named the teddy after? Small world, huh?
"Now Selene and Taehyung are back in California and I've appointed him as my CFO over there." Jungkook said, finally getting my eyes to connect with his once more.
"She won't be around here any longer." he said, anger sparking inside his eyes. I shivered at the dark look in his eyes and slowly nodded.
Jungkook's broad shoulders rose and fell when he sucked in a deep breath and exhaled; calming himself.
"I'm sorry." he spoke, looking guilty for nearly losing his temper. He let his elbows set on his thighs and held his head in his hands. The white button down shirt he was wearing strained against his back at his actions. I gulped and tore my gaze away.
I shook my head. "It's okay."
"Not that, Elena." he said, refusing to move from his position. I saw a shudder go down his back, as his first words cut off. His muscular back trembled and I felt my eyes sting with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry...for believing Selene so quickly." He said. I could hear him gulp before continuing. I forced my eyes to stay focused on my hands.
Oh crackers.
What was I going to do?
"She'd been a friend to me for so long...and I trusted her when I shouldn't have. I should have made sure before making any rash decisions at the last moment." he chuckled humorlessly, "But I only ended up hurting us both in the end. For nothing."
I...oh god.
Just what was I hearing?
"If only I had been more smart and quick about it - and learned the truth before it smacked me in the face...you wouldn't have left...and..." he choked, and for the first time since I had met him, he sounded close to tears.
The strongest man I had ever known was close to tears.
I didn't know what to make of it.
"And you wouldn't have come back home...hurt." His voice was filled with unrestrained emotion. All I wanted to do was crawl over to him and hug him, in hopes to make him feel better, and not alone in his sadness.
My lips trembled.
"...It's not your fault." I would have had to leave anyway. One way or another, I would have had to go back to my parents, but it was never his fault. And I never blamed him.
This was on me.
Jungkook's head shot up and stared at my face in disbelief.
"No. It is my fault–" he went to argue but I cut him off.
"I would have had to leave anyway. It had been decided weeks before you even found out Selene was pregnant." I shrugged, "This." I held up my hands, bulky casts coming into view, "This was my own doing."
I basically goaded my mother into doing it by refusing to cooperate.
Jungkook's eyes were soft, but pained as they took in the sight of my frail arms.
"B-but how do you break that many fingers? You...you didn't do it to yourself, did you?" He choked, voice cutting in and out as he reached for my hands. I avoided his eyes and let my hands fall back on the bed beside my legs.
"Not in that way." I said, realizing that it did sound like I had hurt myself intentionally. "...I..." how do I explain this? "Let's just say I refused to cooperate and I paid the price in the end by refusing to do what she wanted me to."
Oh crackers. Why? Just why was I telling him this?
Jungkook's large body was tense. Too tense. I refused to look at him, but I felt his aura darkening.
"What?" He spits out venomously, body jerking up. His warm hand cupped my jaws with a single hand and eased my face up to look into his. I flushed at his close proximity, feeling heat starting to rise in my body. His nose nearly touched mine and I felt fire licking up and down my spine at his gentle touch.
I tried to avoid his eyes, but it was no use. He was like a magnet. Forcing me to come closer and clash.
"Look at me, Elena." he said, his warm breath ghosting over my lips and cheeks. A near silent whimper left my lips, but nevertheless, I obeyed him.
Slowly, my eyes lifted and looked into his.
Jungkook reigned in his anger and let out a sigh.
His touch left my face, only to feel his fingers wrapping around my wrists carefully. I flinched at the coolness of his rings on my skin and swallowed hard.
He refused to break eye contact.
Oh crackers.
"I'm sorry." he whispered hoarsely, the covers shifted underneath his weight when he moved closer, and I could feel the heat of his body soaking into mine. I relax slightly, drawn to his warmth.
My eyes fluttered shut when his trembling lips met my forehead for a long moment, before he rested his warm cheek against my forehead, not moving an inch. I reveled in his closeness.
We were nearly pressed together, my chest to his.
Oh jesus. What was I doing?
"It's okay." I spoke quietly, not knowing if I meant it or not.
Was I really okay?
I didn't think so...but I was getting there. Although, not as quickly as I would like.
His hands were still holding mine with the utmost gentleness as we refused to move from our spot.
"Sweetie?" Jungkook rumbled into the quiet room.
"Hmm?" I replied back, eyes closing.
"Dae wants..." he started off, before sighing in content when I still didn't move away from him. I felt my heart start to race. I knew where this was heading. But was I ready to hear him speak about it? I don't think so.
"Dae wants to call you his mom." he said softly, fingers starting to trace soothing circles on the skin above my casts. He was expecting me to be surprised, and drew back when I didn't express any amount of shock.
"I know." I mumbled, "I heard him the other night..." I whispered, feeling a weight lift off my chest. Oh goodness, what was he going to say?
"You did?" he sounded surprised. "What...what did you think about it?" he asked hesitantly, as if he was afraid of my answer.
"I...was surprised." I admitted, "But I don't mind." I said honestly, feeling his fingers continue to rub over my skin. "I love him. But I just didn't know what you would think of it." I whispered.
Jungkook chuckled slowly, and nuzzled his cheek against my forehead affectionately.
He waited, seemingly fighting words, and his body let out subtle trembles.
"I don't mind." He said carefully, I could feel him look down at me.
I let my eyes fall down to his neck and stared at the chain around it.
One of his hands left my arm and his thumb hooked underneath my chin to clash our gazes.
"Dae loves you more than anything, Elena." he paused, gently stroking the area underneath my lip, looking nervous. "...and so do I."
A/N
Ahhh, I love this chapter so much and I hope you all so to!
I hope you all had a wonderful day!
<3