The following Sunday morning I woke up alone. At first, I thought he was just lying far away from me; you know, having a big bed and all. But after swatting my arm to try and catch him, I knew he wasn't there. And when I opened my eyes while I rolled to his side, I also knew he had been gone for a while. His spot was cold.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and let the air rush out of my parted lips. This dude has zero chill. I tried to remember when we woke up together, and that was quite a pathetic number. It was once in my car, which didn't really count. The other time was when I woke up with a splitting headache at my place and couldn't for the life of me remember what happened that night. So in a way, that didn't count either. And I wasn't even going to mention the cabin. So I only had a bunch of countless scenarios and no Lee beside me in bed, sleeping. Was it possible for him to let me wake up first just once?
Oh, wait... we had the hotel in Tokyo. But even then he woke up first and his little clueless cousin kind of interrupted us. I, however, did like what happened after that. But this wasn't the point.
I wasn't sure exactly what the point was I tried to make... Yeah, that the stupidity of these thoughts didn't make me feel any better. Worse, actually, he made me feel like some one-time chick he banged and didn't bother to socialize with after the deed.
The deed. I looked to my right where Lee's desk stood. There was nothing that said I received a heavenly blowjob and had made a mess of his desk. No, everything was neatly in place. Papers stacked. A black pen with Lee Group engraved lay horizontally dead-smack in the middle, waiting to be used. Even the stapler seemed perfectly placed in the corner.
I rolled my eyes at that. God forbid Lee would be messy. He always looked like he had everything under control, even during our contract. The only time he gave in the slightest, was when we climaxed together.
Warmth crawled to my ears. That was hot as fuck. It was the closest we got to having sex, which was sad really. And I hated to admit it—I can't stress that part enough—but Lee was right; this wasn't enough. His tongue yesterday felt fucking amazing after so long but it could never sate me. I wanted to explore Lee on a deeper level—which was the level of me being balls deep in him. But it seemed Lee had the same thought—the other way around.
I sprang out of bed, overcome by a sudden surge of heat. Steamy images of Lee's fit body curled over mine, fucking me from behind, repeatedly banged inside my head as I scurried to the bathroom to wash up and brush my teeth. With flushed cheeks, I eyed myself in the mirror, and it didn't matter how long I stared at it, I couldn't recognize myself. This wasn't me. This was far from me. Where did the man who had wrapped every woman around his finger with a simple smirk go? The one that made their knees buckle and their panties wet with their tongues out to let me do whatever the fuck I wanted with them.
Where the fuck was that dude?!
My cheeks were a hot pink by now because in between the internal monolog I was having, the filthy thoughts of Lee fucking me weren't giving me a damn rest.
He had poisoned me.
Brainwashed me.
That had to be it.
A parasite, remember? God, that Leviathan hook-up felt like a lifetime ago. Maybe it was the blue lights... but his fingers felt like magic when he sucked me off. I wondered if he would touch me the same way next week to prepare me.
"O my god, I need to stop fucking think about this!" I wasn't going to survive a day, let alone a week if I kept making myself crazy with these thoughts.
I marched into the living room with a robe on—my clothes were still upstairs—and sniffed the air. It smelled like food, and there was a tiny, hopeful part in me that Lee hadn't left the apartment and was making breakfast.
But that sparkly hope evaporated into thin air when I saw no one in the kitchen except a few bowls with covers on them and a yellow sticky note attached to it.
Don't touch my kitchen.
I smirked, sliding onto the stool, and removed the lids to see what he had made. The delicious smell intensified when the trapped steam curled around me, dampening my face, and it instantly triggered my stomach. A gurgling growl disturbed the silence in the empty apartment colored in moody greys, dark wood, and art.
As I chewed absentmindedly on the food that was so good that I wanted to strangle Lee with a noodle just because he was always an ace in everything, I wondered where he had gone. It was a little past ten in the morning, and seeing that the food was still hot, he must not have been gone too long.
I slurped on the broth. So why didn't he wake me? A simple shoulder shake to tell me that he had to leave and I would have understood. God, why was he so hard to understand? And why couldn't I let go of this? It was like he was that fucking pink elephant dominating your mind. He did have a trunk-size d—
A sudden vibration shot me right out of my thoughts. A chopstick rolled off the marble counter from the jerky move I made and saved it just in time before it clattered onto the ground. My buzzing phone sat face down next to a bowl of kimchi. I reached for it and turned it upward. Then another feeling hit me, coiling around my stomach like a snake pit, when I saw it was Lee who video-called me.
I assessed myself in the camera. My hair was flat and I had a rice grain stuck on my cheek. I quickly ruffled through my hair to puff it up a bit and picked the grain from my face before I answered the call.
"Lee?" I answered casually, and let my tongue run over my greasy lips.
"Good morning, princess." The place he was at was unfamiliar to me. The back wall was painted a deep blue with a black metal shelving system stacked with books against it. The way Lee was dressed and sat in a black leather chair told me that he must be in his office.
"Hey baby," I answered back with a growing smirk when I noticed the pet name took him by surprise. His eyes widened a bit behind his fringe. But it was the faint curve of his lips that got my attention the most. "Why are you calling?"
"Just checking in to see if you haven't burned down my house."
"How thoughtful." A noodle wiggled its way up into my mouth as I sucked it in. "So why didn't you wake me?"
"You were fast asleep. You snore like a bulldog."
"I do not!"
"How'd you know? I was the one awake."
I grunted and stared at my bowl, fishing a piece of meat out and chewing on it impossibly long. When I cleared my mouth, I looked up again to see Lee just stare at me. He must have placed his phone against something because he leaned back into his desk chair with an elbow propped on the armrest. His cheek rested on his knuckles, still fucking silent.
"What?" I snapped.
"Did you sleep okay?" He wasn't at all fazed by my sudden outburst. Even with a screen between us, his dark eyes felt like fire on my skin. Burning holes to wiggle his way through my armor.
"Yup." I popped out the p. How did people do small talk? I felt awkward as fuck with that stare of his settled on me. I didn't know where to look at, so I ended up staring at the shelving behind him, like a fucking loser.
"The food okay?" Lee pushed further. I only hummed at that, swallowing the food. I wasn't that hungry anymore, my mind was too busy figuring out what to say. Since I woke up I have been off, and I wanted to get back in control of whatever was going on between us.
I picked at the dish, carefully thinking my words through, and said, "Would you like to watch a movie or something at my place tonight?"
Silence fell. After stabbing a vegetable to death I still hadn't received an answer. I looked away from the bowl to glance back at my phone that I had placed against a vase. Lee had shifted his position, now both elbows on the desk, fingers laced, and his chin balancing on top. I frowned at his questionable behavior like I had asked him to solve a difficult math equation.
"I can't, I have two weeks of work to catch up on to..."
The weirdest sensation washed over me. I scrambled for words, rushing them out of my mouth before the heat would crash on my cheeks from embarrassment. "That's fine. I need to go, though. Yang is getting discharged from the hospital, I promised to bring him home." And I hung up.
His facial expression haunted me for the rest of the day—and evening. And I was sure of it he would chase me down in my dreams too. I felt shitty after our video call abruptly ended. It wasn't hard to figure Hwang out. He felt uncomfortable. I was sure of it he had mulled everything over, and over, like a broken tape stuck on repeat. My proposition to trade our firsts was making him crazy. And after seeing his wary expression when we called, it was getting the best of him.
So when he asked for something so casual, it took me by surprise. It was out of character for him, we both knew that, that's why I felt like such an asshole to blow him off like that. If I could choose, I had chosen a snuggle up on the couch with a movie over a shitload of paperwork any day. But the reality was never kind to me. I had so much to do before Monday came, I just couldn't.
Damn, I knew this was Hwang's way of trying to loosen up and get to know me.
I didn't want him to raise his walls again. If we were going to share the bed... I liked to know my bed partner. I was never good with shallow, meaningless sex.
Red or Blue? I typed from under the table. My phone went back into my dress pants to pay attention to the table.
My mother didn't like I was gone for two weeks. She also didn't like to be questioned about it by her inner circle as to why her son wasn't around lately. She bragged so much about me that it became obvious. So to silence the gossipers, she made a reservation in one of the classiest restaurants in Seoul so everyone could see her son was with her.
And my father.
And Min Su.
I glanced to my side where she sat. Her hair acted as a curtain between us, I couldn't see her facial expression. But by the way she was silently eating and not once looking up, I could draw the picture clearly in my head.
On the other side sat her parents. The wives were next to each other in an animated conversation and the husbands in a much more hushed conversation with their heads occasionally dipped close to understand the other.
It was a round table. My mother sat next to me and my father was on the other side flanking Min Su. Maybe that was the reason for her to be so quiet. It was after all quite imitating to have my father sit next to you.
I peeked at my phone when it vibrated.
What?
A simple question.
Red.
Summer or winter?
Summer. You?
Winter.
Nah, too cold. I need the beach.
I'm more of a forest person myself.
Hm. I hate bugs.
Same.
"Minho! What have you been up to lately?" Mrs. Lim pulled me back to the dull dinner talk. I quickly put my phone on my lap and raised my hand above the table to reach for the glass of wine. The red liquid subtly washed over my tongue and removed the dryness of my throat.
"I was in Japan for business, Mrs. Lim. There will be a new project in Tokyo."
"That sounds wonderful," she gushed, patting the arm of her husband. "We were thinking of building a holiday home in Japan."
"It is a beautiful country. If you need any help with that, you let me know." Her smile widened at that and I could see from the corner of my eye that my mother was pleased with this too. It was the most political thing to say, knowing I would earn points with this. They were still debating who would be the perfect fit for their precious daughter. Min Su going on dates with me and Hwang was nothing more than a show. In the end, she had nothing to say in this.
"So, Min Su, what did you raise at the gala? It will be difficult to top this, the event looked absolutely breathtaking. For a moment, I did feel like a child again."
Min Su's head jerked up like she snapped out of her own little world. She tugged her hair behind her ear to properly face my mother. At that moment her eyes locked with mine and an instant frown pushed my eyebrows together. She looked lost, sad. I felt bad for her. Toyed around for the sake of a secured future.
"I don't know the exact number but it was around two billion won. We were very happy with that number and I know the children will be too. Those art cubes are already a hit. Lots of children play in there. So thank you so much for your generosity."
That made me happy. An assigned team within Lee Group had turned the work spaces that were scattered around Seoul into playhouses for children. Some of them deep in the city were moved to the outer skirts where we knew families lived who weren't as fortunate to enjoy art.
My phone sent a buzz through my groin. When everyone was back to eating, I opened the message.
What's your favorite position?
I wasn't surprised at all that Hwang steered in this direction. That horny bastard always found a way. So I thought about it, but nothing particular came to mind. The only thing I could think of was that every position that I pictured was with Hwang.
The one you like most.
I don't think that counts. Unless you don't mind being on your hands and knees—and on the receiving end.
Doggy. It suited him. I easily imagined him going rough from behind, which wasn't the best to picture when you were having dinner with your possible future in-laws.
I adjusted myself under the table and gave myself a minute to compose. A week sounded damn long now. But I didn't want to rush this. Also because there was a hell of a busy week that waited for me, so I couldn't even if I wanted to. And I was set on using this week to loosen up Hwang a bit. I wanted him to want this.
Give me a real answer.
I want you to ride me.
I didn't receive anything after that. Maybe it was too fast to say stuff like this. But he wanted the truth, and the truth was that I wanted him on my lap. The visual I made up in my mind was already maddening, I couldn't comprehend how lost I would get when he actually would climb on top of me to ride my cock.
Shit, this was fucking dumb to do right now. I asked him his favorite fucking color... not this. I felt excitement bubbling under my skin and it made me grow hot. How awkward would it be if Min Su noticed next to me that I was getting hard from a simple text.
No, not simple. This was fucking complicated.
Now I understand those online relationship statuses that were set on It's complicated. It fucking was.
Ten minutes of excruciating death passed. We were finally done with the main course. Tiny plates with something that must be the dessert were placed on the table. I wasn't that hungry—I lost my appetite a while ago, so I focused on the wine. So far my stomach wasn't acting fuzzy, I hadn't drank that much, so I should be good. Or so I hoped.
Hwang texted me again. That vibration in my pocket was heaven and hell all at once. I scooped it out and glanced past the edge of the table to see what his answer was.
Facing?
The question was loud, making my head spin. I dove back in time when we were in the hotel in Tokyo where Hwang stumbled onto my lap. His back pressed against my chest and his head rested on top of my shoulder. Being able to bury my nose in the crook of his neck while I jerked him off was so fucking intimate. I liked that.
But Hwang facing me while he rode me was another level of intimacy. Seeing his handsome face twist into pleasure while he came undone on top of me was something I could make my dying wish.
The honest reply I gave him was: Both.
Not a second later Hwang replied. Greedy and lazy. You're collecting sins here. Alright.
It was too late to contain my snort. Their gaze hooked on me, and I quickly dapped a napkin against my lips to hide the heated smirk I couldn't get rid of.
"Sorry, something in my throat."
The warmth coming from the fireplace licked the skin of my face into a rosy state. I had no clue how long I'd sat on the floor wearing nothing but a tee and boxer briefs with my back against the end of the bed and books scattered around me. I got lost in the beautiful words about life, death, and love. And I wasn't planning to get back to reality any time soon.
"Oh, my lover
who had pure eyes;
oh, the silver scales
that occupied your eyes.
Tonight snow falls.
Oh, my poor lover
who wrapped my neck
with a white towel and washed my face,
a sacred quiet descends
upon the lonely planet.
I close my eyes
to remember the time
your hands washed my face."
The words were laced with the memories of Lee washing my face in the bathroom at Leviathan. A world colored blue. It shifted to a forest blanketed in white where we sat on a log near a frozen river. Lee's dark eyes sparkled in a mystic blue hue, focused as he wiped my face clean.
I closed my eyes.
"You mumble when you read."
I threw the booklet toward the door of my bedroom, scared to death by the sudden voice.
Lee dodged my weapon of choice easily.
"We always fight... and this is what you decide to do." He grinned at me.
"Jesus fucking Christ, Lee! You scared the shit out of me! How the fuck did you even get in?!" My heart hammered in my throat as I looked at him with fright lingering in my eyes. He leaned against the doorpost with folded arms, wearing black sweats and his hair down. He looked ready for bed...
"There was a night where you were pretty drunk and you gave me the task to haul you into the elevator. You shared your code with me."
Time to fucking change that.
"And why are you here? Weren't you busy and all" That sounded way too petty, but it was already out.
"I am. But I figured a bed is a bed."
He came closer and stopped in front of me, his slippered feet settled on the sides of my outstretched leg. "What were you reading?"
"The Snowy Night by Moon Tae-jun."
"Don't know him."
"I figured." I scrambled up and leaned back against the end of the wooden bed. "How late is it?"
Lee took his phone out of his pants to check the time and mumbled, "Almost twelve."
Oh wow, I really forgot about the time. Somewhere around nine, I came to sit here to read. But seeing the fire almost going out and feeling the stiffness in my muscles, three hours sounded about right.
"Let's go to bed, I have to be up early tomorrow." Lee stepped aside to remove his hoodie and pulled down his sweatpants. With only a white shirt and black boxer briefs, he climbed into bed. The left side, because he knew.
I was a bit lost for words about how much Lee had changed in only two days. He made it look so easy while I was still figuring shit out.
But I kept those words to myself as I got under the covers. We faced each other. The room got swallowed by darkness when the fireplace burned out. There was only the soft noise of our breathing and the rustling of sheets.
Fingers trailed over my bare thigh, down to the crook of my knee. Lee hoisted my leg up to swing it over his hip. He covered the empty space, our bodies flush. His other hand cupped the small of my neck as he brought me closer, and whispered against my lips, "I like this position too." And then he kissed me.
☞ ☆