Nine weeks later
I paced around the hospital room, moaning and rubbing my stomach. Ermanno watched me from where he stood leaning against the wall by the door.
My water had broken hours ago and he had rushed me to the hospital. We had been sitting at the dinner table, just finishing the meal that Eloise had made for us when I felt an odd sensation, and then my maternity leggings were soaked.
Ermanno ran upstairs to grab the bag we had prepared full of supplies for the baby and me and then he helped me walk to the car. Not that I couldn't walk on my own, but I knew it made him feel better to help me.
I was about 6 centimeters dilated, had been for about four hours, and the contractions were getting more painful and happened more frequently.
I pressed my palms into the mattress of the hospital bed as a particularly painful contraction hit. When it was over, I stood up and leaned against Ermanno, who had walked behind me during the contraction.
"I want this baby out," I whined.
His hands wrapped around my abdomen and he gently lifted upward so the weight of my pregnant stomach rested on his forearms and not my back. I moaned at the relief it brought me.
"Thank you," I whispered, laying my head against his chest.
"You'll get through this, Fiore," he promised with a kiss on the top of my head. "You're the strongest woman I've ever met. You've beat everything that's come your way, and you'll conquer this too. And a healthy baby Violet will be your prize."
I smiled and reached my hands down to place them over his. "Thank you for always supporting me, darling. I never thought... I never thought I'd have something like this, but here you are."
I meant every word and I knew he knew that. My life before him, even before Michael, never would've led me to believe I'd get to have this one day. That I'd get to have such a selfless, loving, protective, obsessed man as my husband who held me and told me precious sentiments during the birth of our child.
When I was younger, I never had any male attention. It was quite an isolating experience in that I was always the odd one out, the only single one who showed up to events by herself. I never had anybody to talk to my friends about, but I constantly had to listen to other girls rave about their experiences. It sucked.
And then Michael came along, and he almost destroyed me. Though, I did owe him one thing. Without him, I never would have accessed this strength inside myself. I never would have met Ermanno, the love of my life. I wouldn't have my baby girl. So for all of those things, I did thank him.
"Shit," I moaned as another contraction hit. "This isn't very fun," I announced as I gripped Ermanno's forearms as the pain ran through my body.
"I can't imagine it is, but you're doing so well, amore mio."
Three hours later, I was lying in the hospital bed, squeezing the life out of Ermanno's hand as the most painful contraction I'd had all day slammed through my body. I whimpered after it passed, leaving my head back against the pillow.
Ermanno brushed my hair off my sweaty face and tied it in a ponytail at the back of my head. "Thanks," I said so softly I could barely hear it, but I was out of breath.
"Alright, Ansley. It's go time," Dr. Bartley said. She was the same doctor I'd seen at the clinic months earlier when I'd first gotten there. She also worked as an OBGYN at this hospital and she's who I'd been seeing throughout my entire pregnancy. I trusted her with myself and with Violet.
I was sat up in the bed as it was the most comfortable position for me, and leaned against Ermanno's chest who was behind me. His arms locked around me and I bared down on them when I pushed.
The epidural I was given a few hours ago after the contractions were too much to handle made the process much easier to deal with. When I pushed, I felt a bit of pain, but it was significantly less than before. I mostly just felt the uncomfortable pressure of the contractions and the pushing.
"She's crowned," Dr. Bartley said after an hour or so of pushing. I only knew an hour had passed because I'd asked. It felt like an eternity.
"One more big push, my love," Ermanno said from behind me, repeating what the doctor had said.
I nodded and took a few breaths. I could do this. With one final push, I used the last bits of energy my body had and pushed Violet the rest of the way out of my body.
I looked up and saw her in the trustworthy hands of Dr. Bartley and an emotion I'd never felt with such intensity before came over me. I would protect that little girl with my life. I would die and kill for her. I felt that in my bones.
I was so in love with her. She was precious. She was mine.
After a minute, the nurse called Ermanno over to cut the umbilical cord. I'd asked him a few weeks ago if that was something he was interested in doing and he gave me the most dumbfounded look, asking why any father would say no to cutting their child's umbilical cord.
"I'll be right back," he said, then placed a kiss on my shoulder.
He walked to Violet and the umbilical cord was clamped and then Ermanno cut it. Immediately, they brought her over to me and she was placed on my chest. A surge of love washed over my body and I bathed in it.
"I love you," I whispered, the first thing I said to my newborn daughter. It was something I'd say to her for the rest of her life and I'd mean it every time.
Ermanno helped me lay back while I delivered the placenta. Then Dr. Bartley examined me to make sure that I hadn't torn. Luckily, I hadn't. I attributed it to the perineal massages Ermanno had started giving me a few weeks ago.
I placed my fingers gently on Violet's back, rubbing her delicate skin soothingly as she cried against my chest. My husband sat next to me with his hands on the bed, gazing up at me with adoration in his eyes.
"You fucking did it," he said, a tear pooling in the corner of each eye. Seeing my husband about to cry immediately made me cry, and soon, all three of us were crying together. It was quite the sight.
After an hour of Violet lying on my chest, she was taken by my medical team to be assessed. I missed holding her small body already, and I could tell Ermanno was stressed because he didn't take his eyes off of her.
"They won't drop her," I teased as I reached over to grab his hand.
"I don't take chances," he replied.
"I love you so much."
That caught his attention and he pulled his gaze from our daughter and looked at me. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my lips before sitting back down. "I love you so much, Ansley Lombardi. You're my queen." Then he picked my hand up and kissed each knuckle.
After the baby had been cleaned up and assessed - she was given a clean bill of health- they brought her over to us. I sat up in the bed but directed that the nurse give her to Ermanno. He held his arms out, allowing her head to rest in the crook of his elbow, and he cradled her gently to his chest. He stared down at her with the most fantastical expression, one of love and admiration.
As she lay against Ermanno's chest, for the first time since she'd arrived, I was able to assess her face.
I would've loved her just as much either way, but I hoped that her features would resemble mine more than her sperm donor's. And to my luck, they did. Her nose was mine, as was the set of her jaw and the color of her hair. She didn't have much hair, but it was dark like mine and her real daddy's.
"She looks like me," I said.
"I know she does," Ermanno replied, and I smiled, knowing that he could pick up on my features in her.
"She kind of looks like you too," I said.
"Of course she does. She's my daughter."
****
We spent the day of the birth and the next day without any visitors. Ermanno and I wanted time to ourselves to get to know our daughter. However, on the third day, shortly after we arrived home from the hospital, I was itching for my new family to meet our daughter.
Ermanno called Dorothy as well as Arsenio and invited them over to meet the little girl.
Arsenio and Eloise picked Dorothy up on the way, so all three of them arrived at once. Eloise and Dorothy all but rushed me, wanting to know how I was feeling and congratulating me as I sat on the couch. Arsenio walked to his best friend and they wrapped each other in the most emotionally wired hug I'd ever seen the two of them share. It made me a bit emotional as I watched them. I could just imagine them as two little boys relying on each other to make it through childhood. Their bond was indestructible and beautiful.
After checking on me, I handed Dorothy the baby and she started to sob immediately, looking between me, her grandson, and her great-granddaughter.
"I love you three so much. Ever since I lost my husband, Donny, there's been something missing, but this little girl is helping me find it again."
"Dorothy," Eloise gushed and rubbed her shoulder.
"You can come to see her anytime, and we'll bring her to you too," I assured.
Dorothy held her for a bit before passing her off to Eloise. "I can't believe I get to be an aunt," she said as she sat down right beside me. "Our babies get to grow up together, Ansley."
"I know. They'll be best friends for life."
"Maybe more than friends one day," Dorothy teased with a waggle of her eyebrows.
"Are you talking about my daughter dating already? She hasn't even been here for three full days," my husband said.
"Oh calm down, you ox," I chastised. "Maybe Coda and Violet will be the loves of each other's lives."
Ermanno's jaw clenched, but he didn't respond. For one, he loved Coda unconditionally, and two, he loved Coda's father unconditionally as well. So there wasn't much he could say about the situation, even if he'd rather not think of his daughter dating in the future.
"Look at him, all puffed up," Eloise teased and we both giggled at him.
"Come hold our future daughter-in-law," Eloise said, looking at Arsenio. He laughed and came to sit down next to Eloise and gently took Violet into his arms. Arsenio smirked at Ermanno as he walked over.
"This is the third baby I've ever held," he said.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah. I've only ever held Eloise's baby brother, Beau, and Coda."
"She's honored to be the first baby girl you've ever held," I said.
The stony man looked up at my husband and smiled at him. "You did it, compagno." Pride laced his voice as they looked at each other and Ermanno's face broke out in a smile. "You're a dad."
"We did it, compagno."
****
The first week after Violet's birth was the most emotionally taxing week I'd ever experienced, but in a good way. I never knew that such a small being that I'd known for only a few days could wrap both Ermanno and me around her dainty fingers as easily as she did. But boy did she. We were so in love with her.
Ermanno was so caring and thoughtful throughout the entire week like he always was, but even more so. He took care of both Violet and me and made sure we had what we needed at all times. Anytime Violet woke up in the middle of the night, he'd wake up and jump out of bed to get to her. If she needed changed, he'd change her and if she was hungry, he'd help me get situated to breastfeed and would stay awake with me. Even when I told him that I'd change her diapers and he could go back to sleep, he refused to lay in the bed. He was always by my side, like he promised.
Today, he had me lying between his legs with my back against his chest. Violet slept in her crib right beside our bed. I was shirtless and Ermanno gently massaged my breasts, something the doctor suggested he could do for me in case of a milk duct blockage. Luckily, I hadn't experienced one yet, as Ermanno was keen on massaging me every day to help prevent one from happening. It felt so nice to have his hands on the sore flesh as he worked over me with his skilled fingers.
My sex drive was completely diminished after giving birth, and it still was, but feeling his hands on me with such an intimate touch made me feel a flutter of passion.
"I was thinking," I announced.
"Thinking about what?"
"Remember when we talked about Valeria coming to stay with us after Violet was born?"
He hesitated before answering with a reluctant "yes."
"Well, her summer break is only two weeks away. What if she came to stay with us until August when she has to go back to school?"
"Ansley, it's not that I don't want my sister here to meet her niece, but are you sure we want a rebellious fifteen-year-old in the house while we figure out how to be parents?"
"Ermanno, she's your sister," I argued. "I know you've done everything to give her the life she deserves, and I know that she blames you - unrightly so - for your mother, but what if being here with you and I would be good for her? She'd be with family, the only family she has left. You and I would be a good influence. And I saw the way she reacted when she found out you were going to be a dad. I watched her eyes light up, Ermanno. It was the only time I'd ever seen her happy. I think her staying here and even helping with Violet if she wants to would be good for her."
He thought for a moment before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to my neck. "Okay," he said.
I giggled and turned my head to give him a kiss. I loved that man more than I ever thought possible. And the thought of bringing Valeria into our home made me oddly excited. I wasn't sure why, she hadn't been the most kind when I first met her, but she was a broken child. I knew that Ermanno and I could help her. We were what she needed.
Maybe I saw a bit of myself in her and that was why I was so drawn to her. I wanted to be someone she could rely on, just like her brother was for me.
When Ermanno called her a few days ago to let her know that her niece had arrived, she was ecstatic, asking questions about her and making sure she was okay. When the conversation flipped to her life and school, she became distant and standoffish again. I wasn't worried that Valeria would be a negative presence for my baby. I could already tell she loved her so much, and I wanted her to love me and her brother as well.
"She still looks just like you even a week later," Ermanno said. "Her eyes look just like yours."
That made me so happy too - when she opened her eyes, instead of Michael's blue eyes staring at me, my own brown ones were.
"She's perfect."