"Are we there yet," B whined for what felt like the fiftieth time since their road trip began.
"You have eyes," Ivy barked as she fleetingly glanced at their estimated arrival time. 2:35. I would have been on time if it wasn't for Mr. Nosey over here, thought Ivy. I bet there is probably a massive line already. Ivy's eyes rolled in frustration.
"You will arrive at your destination on the right in point one miles" cheerfully droned the GPS. In the distance, Ivy could see the brick facade of the bookstore. Her heart raced like a thumping rabbit's foot with anticipation as she pulled into a parking spot. Seeing Ivy turn the car off, B gratefully crawled out of it.
"Soooo" B drawled as he stretched out his long legs, "what are we doing here?" When he did not hear a snarky response from Ivy, he discovered she was still inside the car. Looking like a peeping tom, B walked up to the window and looked through his cupped hands. Inside the car, Ivy took deep calming breaths. You can do this. You have to do this. You'll never have this chance again. Just stay calm. Like an unwelcome visitor, a wave of negativity bombarded her thoughts. You remember what happened last time you got stressed out, right? That would be sooo embarrassing if that happened in front of John Green. In the past, Ivy could easily ignore these comments. However, as her situation grew worse, so did the monster residing in her brain. Similar to a flower thriving off sunlight, her inner demon dined on Ivy's anxiety. Fighting a seemingly unwinnable battle, Ivy tried to rein back the creature, I'm in control. I will not let it happen. With a final deep breath, confident the beast was vanquished, for now, she stepped out of the car.
"You okay?" B furrowed his brow in genuine concern.
"Just a little nervous, that's all. I'll be fine." Mentally repeating it over and over again, Ivy clung to her mantra like a security blanket.
Not willing to push Ivy more, B left it at that. "So, what's so important about this Barnes and Noble? You know you can get books back home, right? Probably a lot cheaper too."
Reaching into her back pocket, Ivy pulled out her list. Although she smiled as she looked at the unfolded paper, it was clear there was a somber quality to it. Dislodging whatever thought had briefly occupied her mind, Ivy shook her head and replaced her list back in the car's center console. "John Green is doing a meet and greet here."
"Right. Isn't he that guy who writes chick books?" B asked, unable to identify anything else about the author.
Ivy's head whipped in B's direction, her eyes glaring daggers at him. "Chick books?' Really? Have you ever read one of his books?"
"I'm not a reader. I'd rather wait for the movie to come out." B shrugged indifferently.
Ivy clutched her chest in feigned pain at B's comment, "Oh, my heart. You wound me!"
"Let me guess. You're one of those people who's all like 'the book is so much better than the movie." He swatted his hand away like the idea was an irksome fly.
"If you mean one of those people who actually read, then yes." Ivy crossed her arms defiantly. "Also, his books are not just for girls. He writes about stuff that anybody can resonate with." With a strong stare, Ivy challenged B to question her.
"Okay, okay. I surrender!" said B as he pantomimed waving a flag.
With a new wave of confidence, either from defeating B or being distracted from her anxiety, Ivy marched into the bookstore. Unfortunately, her march was cut short when she ran into an innocent bystander. She apologized distractedly as she took in the line before her. There were easily twenty people standing in a single file line. Looking to the front of it, Ivy could see a fold-out table stacked with multiple copies of John Green's novels, and framed by those books sat the beloved author himself.
Taking another calming breath, Ivy took her place in line and began to rummage through her beaten-up crossbody bag. When she pulled her hand out, she was holding a hardcover book. Curious, B peered over Ivy's shoulder to read the title: Turtles All the Way Down.
Lightly, B tapped Ivy on the shoulder, "What's it about?"
"Huh?" Ivy asked, lost in her thoughts.
"What's that book about?" repeated B as he pointed at the book, now clutched lovingly to Ivy's chest.
Brought back to reality, Ivy flipped open the book, revealing the book blurb on the inside flap. As B's eyes skimmed the jacket, Ivy spoke, "It's one of his newer books. I read somewhere that he based a lot of the main character's mental health issues on his own experiences with OCD." With an air of mild interest, B nodded his head. Urged by an unidentifiable desire to tell B more, Ivy added, "It's my favorite book of his." She paused like she was reliving a fond memory. When she continued, she had a far-off look in her eyes, "It's just how he manages to describe how it feels so accurately. When I first read it, it was like someone had finally put words to my feelings." It was too late by the time Ivy realized how much she had divulged to B. Nervous that he might ask more questions, Ivy rushed to change the subject.
"Okay, so we know why I ditched class. What about you? What's your great excuse?"
"No excuse," he said nonchalantly as he scratched his chin, "I just felt like it."
"Okay." Despite Ivy's rebellious nature over the last few hours, she was not prone to breaking the rules. In fact, before today, she had never cut class before. But a lot of things were starting to change in Ivy's life these days. "So if you didn't so kindly," she added sarcastically, "join me today, what would you have done?"
"I don't know. Probably just chill at home."
Ivy raised her eyebrow in confusion. "Then why not just stay in school? It doesn't sound like you had anything better planned today."
"Sometimes I just get tired of dealing with people at school. Plus, if I hadn't, then you would have had to drive here all by yourself, and wouldn't that have been so horrible?" he gave her a sly grin that made her heart flutter. Don't even think about it, she chided mentally. Brushing it away she responded "Oh yes, soo horrible" her eyes rolling skyward.
Awkwardly, the two silently stood next to each other as they waited. Ivy could feel her skin crawl as she contemplated a handful of different conversation starters. Looking to the front of the line, her heart sank as she realized how slowly it was moving. Scanning the maze of bookshelves that surrounded her, Ivy concocted a way to separate herself from B. Relieved to have an escape, Ivy turned to B. "You know, this is probably going to take a while. Why don't you look around? I'll get you when I'm done." She gave her most trustworthy smile. Unaware of Ivy's ulterior motives, B agreed and casually strolled toward the music section of the store.
Once he was out of sight, Ivy sighed heavily, the weight of B's scrutiny finally gone.
Over an hour had passed by the time Ivy reached the front of the line. Patiently, she waited for the girl before her to get her copy of The Fault in Our Stars signed. Unwilling to end her time with the author, the girl continued to ask childish questions: "What's your favorite color?" Do you have any animals? What are their names?" Luckily, John Green was rescued from more of her half-baked questions when a woman came up and shooed her along. With an authoritative voice, the woman announced, "Next in line!"
Again, Ivy's heart rapidly beat in her chest as she nervously stepped up to the table. For years she had only seen pictures and videos of him, but today that would all change. Today, she would finally meet the man who understood her struggle. She waded through her mind as she searched for something memorable to say. Something that would make her stand out against the sea of fans he had already met today.
"Hello, I'm John Green," said the author as he introduced himself to Ivy.
And just like that, Ivy's tongue became a tangled mess. All of the insightful questions and memorable comments she had prepared were wiped from her brain, and all she could manage was a weak "hi" as she handed him her book to sign.
With a warm grin, the author asked, "Who should I make this out to?"
Stuttering, Ivy told him her name.
With the flourish of a man tired of signing his name, John Green autographed her novel before handing it back to her. "Have a great day" he said in farewell as Ivy was ushered away to make room for the next person in line.
Still in a daze, Ivy mindlessly wandered out the door and to her car. With the same respect one might have for a religious text, she carefully opened the book conscious not to smudge the ink. With the giddiness of a kid on her birthday, Ivy's eyes devoured the inked message scrawled across the title page: Ivy, thanks for reading, John Green. Despite the simplicity of the message, Ivy couldn't have been happier. Carefully, as if the book were a newborn baby, Ivy restored the book to her bag and pulled out a pen. Reaching into her back pocket she removed her folded list and flattened it out on the hood of her beaten-up Camry. Satisfied, she crossed out "Meet John Green" from her bucket list. Trailing her finger down the list, Ivy stopped when she reached "pet a koala," which was crossed out. Memories of that day at the zoo filled her mind.
Since creating her bucket list, Ivy has spent her weekends checking items off. It was only last weekend that she had traveled to the Granite Zoo for their special "meet a koala" event. She could still remember the brillo pad texture of the animal's fur as she held it. Back home, she had a picture of her hugging the koala like a giant stuffed animal.
Again her fingers slid down the list until they reached the frayed edge at the bottom. B had assured her that the rip hadn't ruined her list, but she couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was missing. Convinced she was just being paranoid she folded up the list and placed it in her purse.
"You weren't thinking about leaving without me, were you?" said a voice from behind Ivy.
Frightened, Ivy spun around, arms raised in a combative stance.
"Woah, killer. Let's put those guns down" B teased.
Ivy glared at B, her eyes squinted in judgment. "What are you doing?" she asked accusingly.
"I'm stopping you from ditching me miles from home. Thanks for getting me by the way," he added sarcastically.
"I wasn't ditching you," lied Ivy, "I was just putting my stuff away before I went to find you."
"Suuure" he drawled, unconvinced.
"Whatever. Are you getting in the car or not?" she asked begrudgingly.
"Where are we going now?" he asked, already sounding a little exasperated with the car ride.
"Home. This was the only reason to come down here" said Ivy as she motioned to the bookstore.
"Are you serious? That's it? Come on! There has to be something else on that stupid list we can do."
Ivy covered the opening of her bag as she shielded its contents from B.
Unamused by Ivy's secretive nature, B tried appealing to her reasonable side. "Ivy, how am I supposed to help you if you don't let me?"
She wrung her bottom lip as she mulled over B's argument. Hesitant to trust B, she took the list out of her bag and spread it open on the car for B to see. Ivy felt naked and vulnerable as B's gaze scrutinized her bucket list. Before today, no one besides Ivy had known about this list. Now, a practical stranger was openly reading it in a public parking lot. The longer he looked it over, the more self-conscious Ivy felt. Eventually, the discomfort became too much for her to handle. "Okay, I think that's enough," she said as she slapped her hand over it. B was about to object when he saw the anxiety that riddled Ivy's face. For a while, he studied her face, which only made Ivy grow more uncomfortable. "What?!" she sniped in frustration.
"Nothing," he said. For a moment he stood there in silence until he cracked a devilish smile. "I think I can help you cross another thing off your list."
Ivy's anger faded at the promise of another crossed-off adventure. "Really? Which one?" she asked eagerly.
"I definitely know someone that could use some help," B said proudly. "But," he added to Ivy's great displeasure, "I have to drive us there."
Ivy pursed her lips in frustration as she considered the proposition. Eventually, with great pain, Ivy handed the keys over to B and climbed into the passenger's seat.
"This better be the real deal, or I swear..." warned Ivy.
Blowing off Ivy's threat, B started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. "Don't you worry, sweetcheeks, I got this."
"What did I say about calling me that?" Ivy shouted as she and B cruised back onto the interstate.