There are so many people here. We've already been here for about an hour and my head's been foggy the whole time.
Mindlessly being introduced to countless rich people and eating hor d'oeurvres and drinking champagne (it's really good).
Too many people, too many. This place is huge but with everyone here, it feels like a small little hole. All I can focus on is avoiding Asher, which is hard cause my main job is to act like his girlfriend.
Right now, as I'm sitting here at a rounded table with a fancy tablecloth and circling my champagne glass with my pinkie, I can only think of one thing.
I can't let Asher know how I feel because if I do and it ends badly, he might leave me. And he can't leave me, he can't. I can't let him, I won't let him. I won't tell him anything so I can keep him in my life.
Why did I have to get involved in all this? I wish I never even met him. Well, that's not true. I'm so happy I met him.
"Allie?" I snap my head up and see Asher looking at me curiously. "I said are you okay?"
I look deep into his eyes for a minute, not fully registering what he just asked me. His eyes, his kindness, his everything, oh I can't do this.
I jump up without a second thought and rush away, I need to get out of here. Anywhere but here. But there are too many people and I can't see or breathe or anything I'm just stumbling out through a door and into a deserted hallway, trying to catch my breath.
I can hear a blurred voice calling my name from behind me but I keep going. I don't know how, but soon I start falling, going straight for the floor. I close my eyes bracing for impact but instead, I'm caught by someone.
"Allie? Allie?" The voice becomes more audible as my focus starts to clear and I see Asher standing in front of me holding my shoulders. My Asher.
"Yes?" I say hazily.
"What happened, are you okay?" He asks in a panic.
"I'm fine," I brush off.
He looks at me with concerned eyes and strokes my cheek with his thumb. "I don't think you are," he says more like he's just figuring it out himself. "What's wrong, you've been acting weird all night."
Oh the things I want to say to him.
Did you really pick out my dress?
Please don't leave me, please.
I can't lose you.
I want you more than anything I've ever wanted.
But instead, the words that come out of my mouth are, "Yeah, I'm fine. There's just a lot of people in there is all." I smile trying to convince him.
He nods but doesn't look fully convinced. I glance at his eyes and then in an act of stupidity I wrap my arms around his neck and hold onto him tightly. I just need to hold him one last time before I ice him out completely.
He kisses my temple and then wraps his arms around my waist, holding me back. After a moment, I force myself to pull back. "We better get back. Maybe you should come out after me so it doesn't look like we were doing anything," I say.
He nods. "Good idea."
So, I leave him in the hallway and start walking back into the large room with all the people. I can't let that happen again, I've got to act more normal. Like nothing's wrong.
It was a moment of stupid weakness and now I've got to be strong, I can't get distracted.
Suddenly, I bump into someone and stumble to the side. Shit. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," I immediately say and turn around.
"My bad, I'm sorry," I hear a boy's voice say at the same time as me. And that's when I turn around and come face to face with the answer to my problems.
A beautiful boy. He's blond with perfectly fixed hair and the lightest blue eyes. He has cute little freckles and the longest eyelashes I've ever seen.
His lips are pink and have the littlest upturn on one side. Just looking at him he looks mischievous, and like a flirt.
How is the answer to my problems you may ask? He's exactly what I need to take my mind off of Asher. I can focus all my feelings for Asher on him and eventually, I'll stop liking him like that and I won't lose him. I'll just like pretty blond boy.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
"No, it was my fault, I was sticking out in the aisle. But, I'm glad I did. It's not every day I bump into someone so beautiful." He looks at me with amused eyes.
His smile is beautiful, it creates smile lines on his face. I blush and let my eyes meet his. He looks taken back for a second but then almost leans in to look at me better. "Sorry, but your eyes. They're beautiful."
Asher likes my eyes too, he's the reason I barely wear my contacts anymore. Wait, stop thinking of him, think of the boy in front of you.
"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful they are?"
"No," I lie.
He smiles in return. "My name's Dawson Bentley," he says with confidence.
I smile at him. "I'm Allie Summers." I reach out to shake his hand but instead, he takes it and places a kiss on my knuckles with his soft lips.
His hands are a lot softer than Asher's, his are calloused from his guitar. Which I never mind.
I blush furiously as he pulls back. "Such a beautiful name," he grins. I smile. "Not so bad yourself, sir," I grin back. He chuckles a little.
"So, are you from around here or," I try to start a conversation with him.
"No, actually, but I just moved to a town a couple hours away so we were able to attend. My dad knows the host, so."
I nod. "Where did you move to?"
"Calloway."
My stomach flutters with excitement. "Get out, I live there! I'm a Junior at East Oakland High."
He smiles brightly. "No way, I'm joining there in a week or so, I'm a Junior too."
I smile. "Then I'll be sure to show you around." We smile for a moment more.
"So, what brings you here?" He asks. My smile dies as I remember why I'm here.
"Oh, yeah, well my boyfriend needed to come so I came as his plus one." I look away from his eyes, embarrassed.
His face looks a little disappointed. "Oh, your boyfri-"
"Hi love," I hear in my ear and then feel a kiss planted on my cheek. I wish I could just talk to Dawson and forget about him but I can't, I want Asher. "Hi, Ash." I smile.
"I've been looking for you." He looks down at me smiling a little.
"Oh, well I was just talking to Dawson here." Asher's eyes dart over to Dawson and scan him unsurely, raising his chin at him.
"Dawson Bentley." He holds his hand out. Asher takes it tensely and shakes. "Asher Loving."
"Oh yeah I've heard of your music, it's great," Dawson smiles, at least trying to be nice.
"Thanks," Asher says shortly.
I look between them anxiously, trying to find a way out. "Dawson just moved to Calloway, he's in our grade at East Oakland," I tell Asher.
He nods, still looking at him like he's made of poison. "Well, then we'll have to show you around sometime, welcome to Calloway. I hate to leave so soon but I was hoping to get a dance in with my girlfriend, Allie?" He nods his head to the side.
I smile nervously. "Sure. It was great meeting you Dawson, I'll see you at school."
Dawson smiles and takes my hand again. "It was great meeting you too, Allison." He places a kiss on my knuckles in the same spot and I smile. "I look forward to seeing you again."
I smile and Asher smiles the fakest smile I've ever seen before pulling me away. "Her name's Allie," he mutters.
"Asher..." I try to say as he keeps walking with me tightly in hand. We finally stop and he kisses me. Then he puts his hands on my waist and holds me close. "I told you, I wanted a dance," he smiles.
My heart does a flip before I turn back to being irritated with him. "Asher, I was trying to talk to Dawson, why'd we have to leave so quickly?" I grumble.
He lets out a breath and rolls his eyes, pulling me impossibly close. "You don't need to hang out with him, he's a spoiled rich kid whos nothing but a fuckboy. Plus, I don't care for how he was talking to you and... handling you."
Oh, he's jealous. He's jealous? Why is he jealous? I won't admit it, but it secretly makes me happy. He also looks insanely hot when he's jealous.
"He was just being friendly. It seems to me that you're just jealous." I take a step away from him but he quickly pulls me back in.
"I'm not jealous I just don't think it looks very good for my girlfriend to be cuddling up to some random blond guy," he says lowly, not once taking his eyes off of mine.
"So you're telling me that you didn't feel the least bit angry while he talked to me, and kissed my hand, and.."
"What? These hands?" He pulls my hand up and kisses it slowly, making sure to kiss it so that I can feel his tongue run across my knuckles.
My heart stops as I watch him. It feels better than anything Dawson could have done.
He slowly looks up and I can see the lust in his eyes, and I know mine probably look the same. He grabs my chin with his index and middle finger and puts his lips to my ear. "Tell me, Allison.."
A shiver shoots down my spine and I feel his smirk against my ear. "Why would I be jealous of him when he's not the guy sharing a hotel room with you tonight."
My breathing is rapid right now, but I've got to at least try and act like I'm in control.
"You seem pretty confident for a guy who's only my fake boyfriend."
He smirks even more, moving my face and putting his lips next to my other ear. "This may be fake, but to him it's real. And to him, and everyone here, you," he nips at my earlobe.
"Are," he moves his lips and sucks on my neck, hard. A whimper slips from my mouth.
He then pulls away, looking at me with an amused look, and moving his hands from my waist to my hips... "Mine," he finishes, running his hands over my ass and making me gasp softly.
I shouldn't like this but I do. I do. So I need to distance myself more because I can't be feeling this way.
"I'm going to the bathroom," I say without giving him room to argue. And then I detach myself from him and walk away. Nearly hobbling with how wet my inner thighs are right now.
****************
It's late, and we're both tired. So, Asher's manager has already paid for a hotel room for us.
We both walk in and my jaw drops. This place is extravagant. The most luxurious room I've ever seen. A seating area, a really nice bathroom, a wall made completely of a window, a sliding glass door that leads to a balcony, and a huge bed.
Wait, a bed. As in one bed. You've got to be fucking kidding me.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I say.
Asher walks up beside me to see it. "Huh, they must have only had one bed available."
I want to share a bed with him, I mean I really want to share a bed with him, but I can't. Distance. I can't keep doing this if I ever want to lose feelings for him.
I grumble and walk into the bathroom angrily shutting the door. My plan is to take a shower, but I can't get the zipper of my dress undone. Great.
I try for a couple more minutes before I finally give in and accept that I'll need to ask Asher for help.
I slowly open the door and walk out. He's sitting on the bed, looking at his phone. But he immediately looks up when I come out. "Can you unzip this for me, please?"
He scans me, his mouth slightly agape before I see his Adam's apple bob and he mutters a quick yeah. I feel his warm fingertips glide down my back, causing a shiver to shake my whole body. I mumble thanks and head for the bathroom.
After a much-needed shower, I get out but realize all I have with me is my dress, I didn't bring any other clothes. So, I put on a plush velvet color robe and walk out, my damp hair lying over my shoulder.
He glances up but does a double-take when he sees me. I glance at his dark eyes and wearily make my way over to the bed, suddenly oh so aware of the little amount of clothing on my body. "Your turn," is all I say as I crawl under the covers and pull out my phone.
He walks into the bathroom a little oddly and when I hear the door close I finally let out a breath I don't know I've been holding.
I want to go to sleep, but I can't share a bed with him tonight, it's not good for us. I guess, no matter how awkward it might be, I'll just have to propose we sleep separately tonight.
It feels like forever before I hear the bathroom door open and he walks out in the same robe. "Nice shower?" I say nervously.
"Mhm," he hums.
"I'm not feeling very well, I think we should sleep separately tonight," I blurt out.
I immediately regret it though as soon as I see his pouty, worrisome eyes look into mine and I feel a sharp pain in my heart. "What's wrong, are you alright?" He walks a little toward me, still looking concerned.
This is hard.
"Yeah, I'm just not feeling well, is all."
He nods, but I can see the sadness in his eyes.
Does he want to share a bed? Surely not.
He swiftly turns out the lights and lays down on the couch a little ways from my bed. I hate this, all I want is to be next to him, I feel terrible.
"Goodnight, love," I hear his voice say.
"Goodnight Asher," I smile to myself. I stare at the ceiling because I can't force myself to actually try and go to sleep.
Time passes, five minutes, ten, I don't fucking know. But the longer the silence consumes me the more I want to go and lay with him on the couch. I can't, I won't give in.
"Allie?" His sweet voice breaks the silence. "Yeah?" I answer.
"Did I, uhm..." he stutters. "Did I make you uncomfortable earlier? Because the last thing I want is to make you feel that way."
I close my eyes. Shit. He thinks he's done something wrong. Shit.
"No, Asher, you didn't. I promise I'm just not feeling well. I don't want to get you sick."
Neither one of us speaks after that, but, I feel terrible. Eventually, I force myself to go to sleep, even though I can't stand the thought.
****************
"What?" He says in disgust. "I said I like you," I say, feeling numb in my limbs. He scoffs. "And what makes you think I'd like you? You filthy, disgusting whore." I stare numbly as he steps closer. "Jones was right, your dad was right, you're worthless. Just a filthy, disgusting whore. A filthy, disgusting...."
"Stop it! Stop it!" I scream, covering my ears. But he just continues to say it, inching closer, getting louder. I scream and scream. "Stop, please!" I scream.
My eyes fly open and I jump up. I can't breathe, I can't think. Where am I? Whose holding me, whose...
"Allie, Allie breathe, you're okay, it's okay, I'm right here," I hear my favorite voice say. I whip around and don't realize I'm hyperventilating and crying until just now.
Asher is standing right beside me, stroking my hair and trying to get me to calm down. He looks so frantic. But he was just screaming at me, calling me a whore. Which one is real, which really happened?
"It's ok, love, I'm right here."
This. This is real. But, he could leave, he might leave. He could really say that, he could really go. Not now, though, he can't. "D-don't leave me, please." I tug at his arm, the tears still flowing.
"I won't leave, I'll never leave." He crawls into bed and wraps his arms around me.
I hold onto him so tightly, because I'm scared if I let go he'll be gone. I'm scared to close my eyes again, I don't ever want to see that again.
But, then again, I've never had a nightmare while sleeping next to Asher.