(Tw!! Mentions of self-harm and suicide!!)
"He saved me, dad. He was alone and we figured he would be fine here!" Alyssa's starting to get irritated, her voice more and more firm.
"We don't know him!" Shane spits, his voice sour.
"Hershel didn't know us but he still saved Carl! He still let us stay on his property and is still letting you stay after you opened the barn!" Alyssa stands up and slams her hands down on the table. "I am not going to let Damien turn and walk away from a safe space! Damien could be killed tomorrow if we turn him away!"
"Look, it's fine. I can just-" "Shut up Damien! Stop being nice!" Alyssa quickly turns to him and then turns to look at my dad and everyone else.
"If you let...the Monsters Inc. character stay, you have to let Damien stay! Damien didn't try to kill us!" "Maybe he was aiming for you!" My dad points to Damien but continues looking at Alyssa. She scoffs, very agitated.
"Oh my god! You people are so oblivious to someone who could help us! Just because you guys don't trust anyone, doesn't mean that nobody can be trusted!"
"Alyssa, you weren't in that town. You didn't experience being shot at." Glenn points out. "Literally, what does that have anything to do with this?" Alyssa's angry tone has dropped and been replaced with a "you've got to be kidding me" tone.
"So why did you bring Randall back, huh?" She turns to Rick. "Since he shot at you." "We couldn't leave him behind. He would've bled out." Rick interlocks his fingers and looks around at all of us.
"It's gotten bad in town." Glenn mentions. "What do we do with him?" Andrea asks. The fact she's standing next to my dad for some odd reason gives me a nauseating feeling. She's standing a little too close.
Hershel comes back in the room from doing surgery on Randall. "I repaired his calf muscle as best I can, but he'll probably have nerve damage. Won't be on his feet for at least a week." "When he is, we give 'im a canteen, take 'im out to the main road, send 'im on his way." Rick quickly says.
"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the Walkers?" Andrea asks. "He'll have a fighting chance." "Just gonna let 'im go? He knows where we are." Shane speaks.
"He was blindfolded the whole way here. He's not a threat." Rick reassures.
"And what about him?" Shane nods at Damien. "Was he blindfolded?" Alyssa's face flushes. "No." I say, flatly. "And why not?" Shane steps a little closer but since he's behind the table, he can't get much closer.
"Because he ain't a threat." I cross my arms. "How do you know that?" Andrea asks. "Shut the fuck up Andrea, I wasn't talking to you." I roll my eyes. Damien smirks and nods, knowing who this "cussword name" is.
"Damien was alone. I searched for any signs of anyone else being there and there wasn't a single sign." Andrea narrows her eyes at me, "And how do you expect us to believe that?" "You ain't in fuckin' charge!" I announced. "Adrian quit that!" Shane orders.
"Nah! Because neither are you! The only two people who have any say are Rick and Hershel. It's Hershel's property and we all agreed weeks ago that Rick was in charge! And Shane, you are not in charge of me anymore. Not after how the fuck you've been acting." Shane scoffs and rolls his eyes.
Damien's eyes narrow as he connects the whole "backhanding" comment to my dad.
"Let's say Damien's alone," Shane acts like he just forgot about what I said. "What about Randall? You killed three of their men, you took one of 'em hostage, but they just ain't gonna come lookin'?" "They left him for dead! No one is looking!" Rick says through gritted teeth.
"We should still post a guard." T-Dog remarks. "He's out cold right now, will be for hours." Hershel says.
"You know what? I'm gonna go get him some flowers and candy." Shane says, starting to walk away. "Look at this folks-we back in fantasy land! Don't worry Damien, I'll get you some too!"
"You know, we haven't even dealt with what you did at my barn yet." Hershel walks after Shane. "Let me make this perfectly clear, once and for all, this is my farm. Now I wanted you gone but Rick talked me out of it. That doesn't mean I have to like it. So do us a favor, keep your mouth shut."
Shane doesn't respond, he just sighs and walks out of the house.
"So what are we doing with Damien?" Andrea asks.
"We keep him." Alyssa looks at Rick. "Right?" He hesitates and I can feel Damien holding his breath.
"Yeah. Yeah, he can stay." Alyssa squeals and jumps up and down. She runs up to Rick and hugs him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" She breaks the hug and grabs Damien's hand, "Wanna see the strawberries?!" She tugs him away and out of the house. I smile, everybody looks confused at the strawberry comment.
"Alyssa was upset that he was eating animals and he said he didn't have strawberries out in the woods." Everybody nods in response. "Let's just cool off for now, we can pick this up later." Rick says to Hershel.
Everybody disperses, leaving the house.
I decide to go find Alyssa and Damien, see how good Damien's lighter actually works.
I walk through Hershel's land, my eyes laying on my bandage on my wrist again.
I should take it off and see how bad the cuts are. It's been like a day or two, I'm sure they look fine now.
I abandon the idea of finding Damien and Alyssa and I take a detour to the picnic table.
I sit down at it and take a deep breath.
Whatever is on my wrist, don't use that as motivation to do it again.
I grab the end of the wrap and begin unraveling it, my hands shaking slightly. I would do this in the tent, but everybody is preoccupied with something else, so I have a decent amount of privacy.
I unravel the last layer that lays on my wrist and I just stare. There's dried blood on deep cuts almost all the way up my forearm. The cuts have started to scab so that means I can be without the bandage but looking at it, I don't know if I want to. They're very noticeable and I really don't want Glenn specifically to ask because I don't know if I'd be able to lie to him.
I sigh at the sight. "Jesus what the fuck is wrong with me?" I whisper, wrapping my wrist back up.
"Adrian!" Alyssa squeals just as I've finished wrapping my wrist. I turn and see her and Damien coming with two small baskets full of strawberries.
"Did Hershel say it was okay to take his strawberries?" I ask, standing up. "Yes..." She hesitates. "You gonna tell on us?" Damien raises an eyebrow and smirks.
"I used to be in a gang and do drugs, I don't tell on nobody. Just hide them in my tent for the time being."
Damien smiles, "They're really good. Want one?" He offers me a perfectly plump and red strawberry. I smile, "How'd you know?" I take it and bite into it. The taste of strawberry juice fills my mouth. I always forget how much I love strawberries.
"So...Damien." I say, finishing the strawberry. "About that lighter." He chuckles, "I'll go grab that and the bowl." I smile, "Yay."
Just as we're about to light the bowl, Lori comes running to me.
"I need you." She's panting and looks distressed. "Why?" I ask, setting the bowl down and standing up.
"Do you regret attempting to kill yourself?" Damien shakes his head quickly and opens his eyes wide. "Woah, what the fuck?" I ask, stepping closer to Lori.
"It's Beth. I don't think I can convince her not to." "Oh fuck." I say, not wasting a second to run to the house.
When I get in the house, Maggie is already yelling at Beth. Lori follows me inside and Andrea is already in the kitchen.
"Where's Hershel?" Andrea asks, looking at Lori and I. "He doesn't want to find out yet." Lori responds, walking in front of me and into the kitchen. "It's a family affair, we'll let them work it out." "That's working it out?" Andrea asks.
"I should go in there; Maggie is handling it all wrong." I begin to walk into the room, but Lori grabs my arm. "Wait. Wait until they're finished. When Beth stops fighting, that's when it's time to worry."
"This could've been handled better." Andrea looks at her feet. "How so?" Lori asks, letting go of my arm and turning to the sink to do dishes.
"You shouldn't have taken the knife away." My heart stops. "Excuse me?" Lori turns to look at Andrea. "You were wrong. Like Dale taking my gun. That wasn't your decision. She has to choose to live on her own. She has to find her own reasons." I scoff and turn away from Andrea. If I look at her face I know I'll break a plate on it.
"Want me to tie a noose for her?" Lori remarks, opening the fridge.
Okay, Lori. Maybe she's starting to understand why I fucking hate Andrea.
"If she's serious she'll figure out a way. Like Adrian did." I turn to Andrea. "The fuck did you just say?" "You found a way to kill yourself. You took those pills and then slit your wrist, thats-" A slap lands on Andrea's face but both of my hands remain by my sides.
"Don't ever speak to or about Adrian like that!" Lori says, pointing in Andrea's face, the palm of her hand reddening.
I fuckin' love you.
"It's true!" Andrea says, looking from Lori to me, then back to Lori.
"You pulled through it!" I scoff, "By force." I whisper. "I pulled through it!" Andrea throws her hands up. "And became such a productive member of the group." Lori says. I chuckle, "Finally, someone sees what I've been saying." I mumble.
"I contribute." Andrea projects. "I help keep this place safe." "Yeah by shooting Daryl?" I ask. Andrea scoffs, "It was a mistake." "Yeah and so was Dale saving you." I sit on the counter, admiring the distraught look on her face.
"The men can handle this on their own. They don't need your help." Lori says, throwing her towel onto the counter. "I'm sorry, what would you have me do?" Andrea asks, deciding not to acknowledge my remark about Dale saving her.
"Oh there's plenty of work to go around." "Are you serious? Everything falls apart, you're in my face over skipping laundry?" "Puts a burden on the rest of us. On me and Carol, Patricia and Maggie. Cooking and cleaning and caring for Beth and you-" Lori sighs. "You don't care about anyone but yourself. You sit up on that R.V, workin' on your tan with a shotgun in your lap." I scoff lightly, I am really enjoying this side of Lori.
"No, I am on watch against Walkers. That is what matters, not fresh mint leaves in the lemonade." "And we are providing stability. We are trying to create a life worth living." "Are you kidding me?" "Look," Lori starts. "I went after Rick. I took down two Walkers. Don't act like you're the only one who can take care of yourself-" "After crashing Maggie's car. Did you ever apologize for that?" Andrea rolls her eyes.
"Crashing her-" Lori stops speaking for a moment. "You're insane." She finally says. "No, you are." My eyes widen, "My turn." I say, smirking and starting to hop off the counter. "No, Adrian. Hold on." Lori says. I nod slightly and reposition myself atop the counter again. "You're the one that's self-centered. The way you take it all for granted."
I can feel Lori's rage begin to bubble beneath her skin. Her eyebrows raise slightly and she just pauses, staring at Andrea. "This is gonna be fun." I whisper.
"My husband is out there-for the hundrenth time. My son was shot." Lori gets up in Andrea's face. "Don't you DARE tell me I take this for granted." "You don't get it, do you?" Andrea gets closer to Lori as well. "Your husband came back from the dead, your son too. And now you got a baby on the way. The rest of us have piled up our losses-me, Carol, Beth. But you just keep on keepin' on-" "We have all suffered."
"Playing house, acting like the queen bee, laying down rules for everybody but yourself. You know what? GO ahead. Go in there and tell that little girl that everything's gonna be okay, just like it is for you. She'll get a husband, a son, baby...boyfriend." "Okay, now it's my turn." I hop off the counter and approach Andrea.
"You're just pissed that the little pity fuck you and my dad had was just to get his mind off of Lori." I can tell by her reaction that my suspicions were right.
Ew.
I don't acknowledge the fact that I was right, I just continue. "You ain't shit to him, you realize that, right? You ain't shit to nobody here. You treat everyone like they're lesser than you just because they don't wanna sit with a gun in their hand." Andrea sighs and begins to walk away but I grab her shoulder and spin her around to face me. "Don't you ever walk away from me while I'm talking you slut!" Her eyes widen. "What did you just call me?" I don't answer her question. "You do not get to speak to Lori like that, ever. Especially when I'm around because she has done so much more for this group than you ever will. All you do is fuck up! You are useless! Thinkin' Lori was wrong for saving Beth." I sigh, "Get the fuck outta my sight before I shove my fingers through your eyes."
Andrea looks at Lori; when she doesn't say anything, Andrea walks away.
By now, Maggie and Beth's argument has subsided.
I run my fingers through my hair and look at Lori. "I'm gonna go talk to Beth." She nods, not verbalizing a response.
(Sumary:) Alyssa fights for Damien to be able to stay with the group. Once they agree, Andrian sits alone outside and inspects her self-harm wounds. Lori runs to her for help with Beth and Andrea gets put in her place. Adrian finds something out about Shane and Andrea.