"What?" Your confused manner asked again.
From shock and disbelief, fear filled Hisoka's eyes. Instinctively, Hisoka grabbed onto your hand and pulled you closer to his side.
"Why are you here? Y/n isn't dying anymore. Why are you here Itachi?" You heard Hisoka defensively speak to no one in front of him.
"Itachi?" You muttered to yourself - still confused. However, after a few seconds, you recalled seeing Itachi in the bathroom when you were on the verge of death. You didn't know if that was real or you hallucinating from the drastic lose of blood. So you never really thought much about it. Rather, you enjoyed whatever the hell that interaction was. But if Hisoka is now seeing him too, it had to be real? Why couldn't you see him though?
"Hisoka, no one is there...Itachi is dead.." You said, trying to snap him out of it. A small part of you was actually hoping Hisoka spotted Itachi in the distance, and his whole death was just a cruel hoax someone was playing with you.
Although his gaze didn't flutter, Hisoka heard you.
"If she can't see you, why can I? I'm I going to die soon?" Hisoka impatiently asked a very feint Itachi dressed in loose clothing standing a few feet in front of him.
"Answer me Itachi." You heard the Joker question again, this time tightening his grip on you.
It couldn't end like this. Why was life refusing to let him be happy? He has changed, he got you back. He is on the verge of starting a new life with you. It couldn't all end before it properly started. And if it was his time to die, why was Itachi here? He wasn't necessarily entirely close to him if he was basing your death experience of someone you loved coming to 'fetch your soul'. If such a process was real, the people he would expect to see just before he dies would be his parents. Unless over the years Hisoka developed an odd connection with Itachi from visiting his grave from time to time and 'talk' to him.
Hisoka watched Itachi smile ever so warmly at him. A smile that could be found in his eyes too. Even in his death, the Uchiha still radiated warmth and light.
"Relax Hisoka. I'm not here to collect any souls." The Joker heard the black haired man finally reply.
"How is this even possible?" Hisoka asked himself and Itachi - feeling like he was losing his mind.
"Who knows why you can see me now. I've always been around. For years. Maybe it's Gods will, maybe I'm a figment of your imagination, or maybe...I'm your last issue that you need to overcome on this road of redemption you seem to have taken.." Itachi answered him again. Proving this is really happening.
Partially relaxing after believing you weren't going to die, Hisoka loosened his grip on your hand.
"My last issue?" Hisoka queried, still a bit too shellshocked to answer you.
"Why would you be my last issue I need to deal with?" The red haired coaxed Itachi to talk more.
"The need for validation. To be set free from your guilt Hisoka." Itachi answered.
"For years I have listened to you speak to me by my grave. And the common theme of all those conversations were you telling me what you did for Y/n. And how you thought what you were doing is right. Almost as if you were seeking validation from me in your decisions and actions." Itachi began to elaborate.
Quietly, Hisoka listened attentively to what Itachi was saying. Which, unfortunately was all true..
Hisoka would never admit to anyone about the guilt he carried from going against what Itachi wanted from him. He tried to justify to Itachi's grave that what he was doing was still looking after you like he wanted because he paid for your university fees and ensured you got a 'bursary allowance' To look after yourself and Maleeka. However, deep down, he knew Itachi meant that he needs to be physically present and look after you. Be loving and sensitive towards you after his death.
Be a present father. Be a present lover. He knew he failed to live up to Itachi's wishes.
"But I'm here right now because I will finally be able to rest in peace because of you Hisoka." Itachi added.
Finally settling down and getting absorbed into this serious yet emotional moment, "Why?.." Hisoka lowly asked. He saw Itachi look at you for a short bit before looking back at him. Still smiling.
"Because you are doing what needed to be done. You are with her. Loving her. Protecting her. Healing her.
You are looking after her Hisoka.." Itachi contentedly replied. Evoking the promise Hisoka recalls from memory Itachi asking him to keep.
"..I just came to tell you that I forgive you Hisoka. I know you will never ask for it. But I am here because deep down the conversation you and I last had still bothers you internally. Although I wasn't happy with your choices over the years, to an extent I understood them and was nevertheless grateful for the bit you did do for her education and wellbeing. What matters, is now. You have changed.. And I want you to be free from that guilt. You constantly sought out my validation...Well, now you have it. You are doing every right."
"You are loving her the way she deserves to be loved...The way I would've loved her. I'm happy Hisoka. So thank you..I can finally rest in peace now because of you."
As if his muscles have been in a life long state of tension and agony, it all suddenly started to relax and unwind after hearing that last bit from Itachi. Ever since Itachi confessed to him that he loved you, he always thought, till this day - years later, that the only man that could ever love you right. The only man to be so deserving of being your partner, was Itachi. No other man was perfect enough for you but Itachi Uchiha.
But here he was, telling him that he is loving you right... The way he would've loved you.
This was the type of validation Hisoka thought he would never receive, yet alone ever believe he was capable of loving you on the same level the deserving Itachi would have..
But he got it. And he would be lying if he said his soul and conscience wasn't feeling so heavy anymore.
You watched Hisoka close his eyes and develop an extremely deep contented small smile.
Placing your free hand on his cheek again, "Hisoka what's happening..?" you meekly asked again - not wanting to over do it although you were confused and worried.
Slowly peering his eyes open, he looked down pensively at you.
"Your best friend decided to pay me a personal visit right now.. Just to say he is happy for us." Hisoka vaguely answered you. There were just some things that are meant to be left unsaid..
This matter was always just between him and Itachi. So he was going to leave it that way.
Eyes immediately welling up, your lips tugged down again. "Itachi is really here? He really said that?" Your tearful voice cracked. It was more tears of happiness and excitement than sadness. Sadness that you couldn't see him. But nonetheless, knowing he was here on your big deal.
Wiping your tears smoothly away with his index finger, "Yes my emotional woman." Hisoka tenderly answered you.
Watching Hisoka's display of affection towards you, Itachi smiled even more. "Tell her she looks beautiful for me please..And that she needs to start being careful with herself. She can't run off and do her own thing anymore without you.." Itachi distantly said as he analysed how beautiful you look today.
Relaying the message back to you - which Hisoka completely agreed on, more tears of joy escaped your eyes. Smiling through your tears, you thought about the past and how Itachi always would be supportive of your decisions but would still lecture you while tending to you and your mistakes.
Taking in one deep-short breath, "I miss you so much Itachi.." you uttered to the spot Hisoka looked at when he spoke to 'Itachi'
Hisoka watched Itachi walk over to you and place his hand ontop of your head ever so brotherly. A touch he noticed you partially felt.
It felt like a subtle heavy weight ontop of your head that spread warmth all the way down your body.
"Is that..?" You trailed off, seeking desperate answers from Hisoka.
Giving a pitied look down at you, Hisoka curtly nodded in acknowledgement. "His hand." He said.
"Stop crying now okay? It's not good for the baby. Just know that whenever you come to my grave, I can hear you loud and clear. So visit me when you miss me then, and give me those long hour stories you always seem have. But you are doing just perfectly fine without me.. You have become such a strong and mature woman Y/n.. and all that you will ever need is right next to you..Rely on Hisoka from now on. Place your worries and sorrows on his shoulders, let him know all those thoughts and feelings you tend to keep bottled up from him - he's someone that will handle it for you and can handle you too. He isn't going to leave you anymore...So rely on him. Don't be afraid or hesitant to love him fully again..."
Listening to his words ever so attentively, just like his last conversation with Itachi 7 years ago. Something within Hisoka stirred. The Joker still found it so hard to grasp the fact that someone who loves you speaks like this to you about another man. How could someone be so gentle and affectionate towards a person they love whilst talking about another man. Convincing you to love and rely on him. This man's character just had too much depth and selflessness.
There was no jealously or animosity towards Itachi, just admiration..
Probably one of the first people Hisoka ever considered to be someone worth admiring besides you.
The now partial cold side of Hisoka that struggled to verbalise mushy words, was reluctant to tell you exactly what Itachi said, but he forced himself too because this was important. Words directly from Itachi you needed to hear. Probably one of the last words you will ever hear from Itachi now that he was going to finally rest in peace.
Uttering the last bit to you, your crying settled down into low sniffles as you looked up at Hisoka. It seemed Itachi's words hit you hard for some reason. Maybe apart of you, the independent and alone version of Y/n for so many years, was still hesitant to dump everything on Hisoka. To let him know every feeling and thought. Understandably so. But hearing that advice come from your best friend was the final push you needed to give everything of yourself to Hisoka. You were married to him after all...
"I will..." You weakly murmured whilst holding deep eye contact with Hisoka.
"I promise I will rely on him more.."
Ruffling your hair a bit, which to you, felt like warmth moving from side to side, Hisoka saw Itachi's smile widen in satisfaction.
"I'm proud of you Princess.." Itachi softly whispered the nickname he gave you in highschool before placing a tender kiss on your forehead.
Again. Not a single ounce of protectiveness or jealously got triggered in Hisoka when he saw this display of gentle and most innocent affection given to you by another man. Even if it was a spirit. Only pity. Pity that the two of you couldn't be together..
Hisoka was going to tell you what Itachi did and said, but he noticed you started crying again and weakly touched your forehead where Itachi kissed.
Suddenly, you expelled a deep breathe before the waterworks increased.
"I-Itachi..." You murmured through your hitched breathing.
"You remembered that nickname.." Hisoka heard you say.
Realising that you heard what Itachi said, and judging by the look on your face, and you looking perfectly directly into Itachi's eyes. It meant you could finally see and hear him now.
Removing his hand off your head, Itachi smiled at you. "Of course I would. How could I forget anything about you Y/n. Not even death 7 years later will make me forget."
Seeing that you were still crying and not saying anything, Itachi placed his ghostly hand on your cheek. "I thought I told you to stop crying. This emotional distress can affect your pregnancy Y/n." Itachi delicately warned you.
Trying to get it together, you took Hisoka's handkerchief from his wedding blazer and dabbed your tears away. "I'm try-ying okay! Excuse me for being a mess after seeing my dead friend. Bloody hell, I hope I'm not unawarely doing drugs again because this is messed up. Shit like this doesn't happen. We only see dead people in dreams."
Hearing Itachi lightly chuckle made your heart drop and tighten. It was still so beautiful and comforting.
"I guess this was the exception because I had unfinished business with the both of you. Or yes. Maybe you are right. I'm just a hallucinate because you and Hisoka did drug's together. " Itachi bantered back, causing you to chuckle back at him while Hisoka merely smirked.
Once your tears finally settled, Itachi retracted his hand from your face.
"Start living your life properly now okay? Your family is complete." Itachi's playful tone grew sincere.
"And don't worry about me anymore. I'm happy where I am. There isn't anymore more pain that I used to feel here." Itachi started talking again.
"And guess what?" He coaxed you with a genuine smile.
"What?" You asked through your last bit of sniffles.
"I spend most of my time with Kai. His energetic self keeps me extremely busy."
Hearing that, Hisoka immediately peered over to look at you. Your breathing dramatically stopped as you stared at Itachi dumbfounded.
"K-Kai?.. You with him?" You struggled to utter your late baby brothers name. He was always a wound you couldn't close. Always a sensitive topic.
"Yes.. and he told me to pass on a message to you Y/n." Itachi replied.
Knowing this topic breaks you, Hisoka silently held your hand again in support. He really was starting to get worried about you being in this emotional distress whilst being critically pregnant.
"He told me to tell you, he doesn't blame you. It's not your fault. So you should stop feeling guilty about his death."
Squeezing Hisoka's hand unbelievably hard, he could tell your heart felt wrecked at this point
"F-fuck." You uncharacteristically whispered before crying again. But this time I was silent. Silent streams gliding down your rosey cheeks.
"K-Kai said that?.." You breathlessly whispered to yourself as a statement rather than a question to Itachi.
Hisoka and Itachi knew how much you blamed yourself for his death. Regardless of telling you that it's not, because any kid should be safe living at home. And it was your fathers disgusting actions that killed him. Not you. A daughter should be able to leave the house for a bit without the world crashing down because of it.
So they both knew how much it meant to you to hear your brother's message.
"P-please just tell him I'm still so sorry for not being at home. Tell him I was coming for him. That I was going to finally take him out of that house for good. That I'm so sorry I failed as a big sister.." You pleaded.
Softly smiling at you, "I already told him you were coming for him when we first met here." Itachi soothed.
"It's time you let everything in the past go okay? It's in the past for a reason.. Don't drag it into your present anymore. We are perfectly happy and okay here on the other side."
Resting his hands on both your shoulders, "Let it all go Y/n." Itachi repeated once more in such delicacy and encouragement.
Still silently crying, you thought about how right Itachi was. You had to let go of all this baggage you carry because it was taking up space for new memories to be created. These bad experiences were unawarely crippling you from reaching maximum happiness you could have with Maleeka and Hisoka. Life in general.
Squeezing Hisoka's hand even tighter. You weakly nodded. "Okay.." You replied through your pained tears.
Looking at Itachi, you noticed he started getting lighter and a bright light further behind him shone.
"What's.. What's happening?" You swiftly asked with a panicked undertone.
Still smiling ever so warmly at you, "My work here is done Y/n. It's time for me to go for good now.." Itachi cooed.
"No.. please don't go." You desperately asked, wishing you could physically stop him from disappearing.
Now cupping your face. "You have to let go of your past Y/n.. I am apart of your past."
Trying to grab onto Itachi's hands but miserably failed, "No.."
"Yes.."
"No Itachi.. I'm never going to see you again."
Now wrapping his arms around you to hug you - something only he could do. One hand against the back of your head, the other - around your shoulders. The warmth he radiated smothered your entire body.
"Like I told you. I'll be able to hear you when you speak to me by my grave or call out to me." Itachi soothed.
"You are now married to the man that is your first love, you have your daughter and another kid coming along the way. They need you Y/n. They need all of you. So let go..."
"Itachi..." you hoarsely whispered his name to stop talking as you tightly shut your eyes closed, unable to watch him disappear.
"We will reunite one day Y/n. And the dead are never truly gone. We can always hear and see. And sometimes we get to visit our loved ones in dreams. So this isn't the end princess." Itachi said. Your body began to tense up more when you felt the warmth slowly fading away from your body and heard that his voice sounded more distant. As if it was fading away with the wind.
Looking over to Hisoka, Itachi held his distant gaze.
"Thank you Hisoka..."
"...There is no other man I would want her to be with, but you." Was the last thing Itachi said before Hisoka watched him completely fade away right before his eyes.