VANIE's POV
My body's temperature drops as I watch him slowly struggle in my arms. But, I am not letting him go. Not until he knows, how much I love him.
"Since, I first met you, when you were nothing but a teenager. I loved you so much that..."
"Stop, Vanie!" He screams in my face.
My heart drops to the pit of my stomach. The epinephrine in my veins making it harder to focus, as a spark of shock runs through my veins. The only sound I can hear is of my own heart in my ears, as the surroundings blur to silence.
I watch as he trembles in my arms. "Let go of me." He whispers trying to hide his emotions as he closes his eyes, bottling his rage.
My hands flex as I let go of him. Never did I think, that the word, that would bring me the most pain, would be my own name.
I was his Roses.
I watch as he gets up, his hands tremble as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
"I don't fucking do love." He shakes his head, his eyes focused on the ground. "It won't work, if you want love. This was a fucking bad idea. I fucking knew it."
I wince at him cursing like this.
My eyes water, as I stare at him acting so distant, like he didn't just confess loving me indirectly. Was all that just a facade? Did he not mean any of it?
He is going to break you, and it won't be just your heart, Sidya's words echo in my brain.
I can feel my throat tightening as I try holding in the tears.
Do not cry Vanie. I tell myself.
This isn't my first time getting rejected, and probably from my luck, it won't be the last. My parents didn't love me, my brother hates me.
I clench my jaws, as I try pushing the tears back, my eyes burn. I can feel my heart pounding. Of all the people, I never thought Aadi would hurt me like this.
He turns around. His eyes meet mine. The cold, icy stare of his black orbs shoot daggers through my heart. I laugh at my destiny. I thought universe was making things fall in place, well, guess what? I was the one falling for universe's trap.
"I-I.." I watch as he struggles with completing his sentence. I push myself off the ground, as I try forcing a smile on my lips. There is no way I am crying or breaking down in front of a man, who didn't think twice before speaking. This won't work, he had said.
"Could you please drop me home? Or should I....just order a cab? I think I am calling a cab, better option." I pick my bag up, as I frantically try finding my phone.
Stupid, stupid phone. Rubber band, half eaten chocolate, pens and all useless things interrupt my search for the phone.
My hand stops, as a firm strong hand holds my wrist. I am not looking up. I can barely keep myself together and I know if I even take a look at his face I will burst into tears. I had seen the warmth in his eyes, and I can't look into them knowing that the warmth is long gone.
"I am dropping you, please don't do this." He says in an annoyed tone.
Do this? I want to fight back, but I don't know how to without tears falling from my eyes. I sniff, as I blink harder. "I am tired, I want to go home."
I slowly twist my arm, asking him to release it. He slowly steps back as he nods.
"I-I am not the person who can give you love. I think I told—."
"I know." I interrupt him. If he doesn't stop speaking, I know I am going to react and, if there's something years of fighting with my parents has taught me, is that stay calm and always react once your emotions will not be the leading force for your actions. Be rational, not emotional.
My hands are cold and I can barely feel my feet. My chest feels heavy and empty at the same time. My throat constricts as I walk away from him. I can't stand there, and just let go of what he said. We were about to kiss, how did he just change all of a sudden?
I know and I understand his issues with accepting feelings and emotions. I didn't expect him to say it back. All I wanted was, for him to know the truth and still choose to kiss me. Not to push me away, like everyone else.
I wipe the tears away, as I take in a deep breath. My entire body trembles with hurt. Just one second of weakness, I remind myself. I straighten as I hear footsteps approaching me. Stand strong, Vanie. Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not cry.
********************
My eyes fall on the magnificent door of our mansion, the place I called home a few seconds ago. He honks, signalling the security to open the door. But, I take off my seat belt and get out of the car before they can follow his orders.
"No need." I tell them.
I walk towards the little cabinet near the door, the office of our chief security officer, Anuj Mishra. I walk in. My eyes immediately fall on the soft wrinkles of his forehead. He has been working for us since I was a little kid. He was my Daadu's right hand.
I look at the screen, showing all security cameras. My eyes search for one in particular. I can feel my heart palpitating as I see Aadi standing next to his car outside the entrance , hoping for the door to be opened. "Uncle!" I call.
"Arey Vanie beta tum." He smiles as he pushes his chair back.
(Child Vanie, you.)
"Aadi ko andar mat aane dena." I watch as uncle's face frowns.
(Don't let Aadi come in.)
He looks through the little window, at the back of his table, out at the door. I don't have the energy to face anyone right now. So, I turn around as I walk myself out, not waiting for his response or rather questions.
My eyes burn. I want to go home, I had said. But, does it even feel like home? This place is the farthest thing from home. Home is a feeling of belongingness, the warmth and the love. You know you are safe once you are home. But where do you go when your home is the reason for half of your wounds.
I walk to the side and sit on the stairs of the entrance, as I throw my bag down. Tears stroll down my cheeks. Who do I have to come back to at the end of the day? Who do I tell what I feel?
The feeling of emptiness have lived inside me forever. Sidya and I never share details of our lives, but somehow, whenever I was sad, she always knew the right thing to say. But, this time to whom do I turn for help?
I feel like a stranger in my own body. How can one go from being so happy to broken in a mere few seconds? Is this how my entire life is going to be like?
For once, I wanted to be someone's first choice. I wanted to be someone's 'I will always choose her, I don't care if the world turns upside down in the process'. I feel hollow as I try breathing evenly. I did not deserve it. I have been nothing but understanding towards him. He is not the only one with childhood trauma.
*********************
AADISH's POV
I smash the bottle of the scotch on the counter as I scream. She didn't let me in. My blood boils at the sight of her forcing a smile, and struggling to hide her tears. I didn't want to do this, yet this is what I did. The moment the word love rolled from her tongue, all I could think of was of my father. LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. Love will never keep you together.
I was fucking about to kiss her. I could feel my pants getting tighter, with every second. But then, she said something that killed the entire evening. Years of watching my father struggle and drowning in alcohol every night, the memories of watching my parents in a court room flooded my brain. Rooh was a kid, I wasn't old myself. We didn't deserve it.
"Bhai!"
I raise my head to watch Rooh standing in front of me. Am I hallucinating? She is supposed to be at her hotel. Even after meeting her, my father still refused to ask her to stay at home, because he would never go against my mother's decision.
Guilt creeps through my veins as I take in the sight of her standing in a place surrounded by broken glass, liquid and the stink of alcohol.
I am loosing my mind over a woman, who I felt was unnecessary. I still don't need her, but, she is the want that I have now. It's fucked up. Nothing about our situation is ideal. I hated her, before I met her. What the hell happened right at the moment she smiled at me? How did I go from hating her wholeheartedly to caring about her from the moment her huge grin met my eyes?
I shake my thoughts away, as I frown at the condition of the room.
"What are you doing here?" I ask her.
"I- I, damn it, bhai. Your hand is bleeding." I watch as she rushes by my side.
It's only now, that I feel the sharp pain travelling up my hand, and the alcohol burning on it.
I jerk away from her. I deserve the pain.
"I asked you a question, Rooh." I remind her.
"I wanted to know how your date went, so I decided to leave after meeting you and then I fell asleep. I heard screams and shattering of glass when I ran to come here."
"Leave Rooh." I tell her.
I watch as her face frowns. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She screams.
My jaws clench.
"Ask your mother, what is wrong with me? That woman is responsible for everything. She messed up my entire fucking world." I shake my head as I turn around and gulp down the little whisky left in the glass.
I can feel the burn passing down through my throat.
"Seriously, you are gonna blame our mother. Grow up Aadi." She stresses on the word 'our'.
I laugh. Of course, she will be on her side. Everyone is on her side. Like she didn't just rip our family apart.
"I am gonna ask you again, bhai. What happened on the date?"
"I don't do love. Love is not enough. It wasn't enough for our parents, it won't be enough for me. Apparently, the mother you worship isn't so nice, she abandoned our family, she ripped us all apart. Do you have any idea, how did I live through those initial years? The man we call father, suffered like hell and I witnessed his downfall."
"Stop acting like a child and take responsibility for your own damn actions. Father suffered, but did you ever give any one of them the chance to explain?" She questions.
"I don't need an explanation."
"Then take credibility. No one is fucking responsible for your messed up actions, but you. I am not going to be a part of this conversation, if, you plan on blaming it all on an incident that happened years ago." She turns around and heads towards the door.
I hear the door slam shut behind her.
I rub my temples, as I slowly fall back on the sofa. My eyes fall on the phone that lights up with a new message.
I rush towards it.
Rooh:- Avinash dropped some files, while you were away messing things up. Said they were important. When you are done blaming others, take a look.
I throw the phone towards the wall. She thinks she is smart, but what does she know. My mother did a great job manipulating her, after all that's what she is best at. Playing with people's mind, turning their emotions against them.
*******************
I have been in my office for the last few hours, reading the same files again and again. Nothing makes sense. I decided to take a look at the files, in order to avoid destroying any more of my expensive liquor. This was the best option I had. Normally I would snap the neck of the person, responsible for making me so angry, but, how do I snap my own neck?
I have a set of two files. One on Wild Cat, while, the second one on every marked one we have captured and killed till now.
And out of the two, none of it makes sense. According to this, Sidya, the wild cat, is a real estate agent who took over her father's company 4 years back and has been leading successfully. Her hobbies include shopping, partying and attending events. Basically, every spoilt brat ever. But, none of it explains the skills she possesses. The way she tackled me to ground was a properly calculated move. And we can't forget she called me a monster. The same word that appeared on a black screen a few weeks ago.
As far as the other file is concerned . All of the men had nothing in common, except the fact that none of them have family or anything close to it. They might not have anything to fear, which can be the reason why they are so upfront about their actions. But where is the money coming from. The stunts they have pulling needs funding, and all of them have none of it. They are broke, homeless bastards. Who the hell is funding them? Who is their provider?
There have been constant attempts of breaking in our security system. We have snipers positioned everywhere, in case, they decide coming for people I care about. But, they are like snakes. They keep on finding a way to get under my skin, to fucking mess up my life by crawling there way through dirt.
I look at the watch. 2:00AM.
Will she still go cycling with me at 6:00? I wonder.
Probably not. And it's for the best that I avoid her.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, as I recline back in the chair. It was a wrong idea, the arrangement, the let's be friends, the dates and everything else. I have never been known to share emotions, but, the first time I did, it gets blown up in my face.
Nothing in my life makes sense.
Suddenly my burner phone rings with a new notification.
I rush to pick it up.
Unknown number:- Ms. Sharma was seen arriving at the airport. My men tell me that she is flying to India. Do we follow her?
Flying to India? What the hell is she coming here for?
Me:- No. Send her flight details to me.
I had some of my men stationed in London, to look after my sister and tell me if anything unusual happens. My mother never flew to India, not until it was for one of her fucking art shows.
Why is she coming now?
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Hey! Long time no see. Tell me your views about the chapter and before you guys come at me for not letting them kiss. HAVE PATIENCE, please😬💗.
I did so much last week, I am glad I took the break. Finally out of the reading slump.
Also, I edited a post for Vanie, it's on my Instagram. For those who don't use Instagram, I WILL POST IT ON MY PINTEREST PROFILE.
PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT.
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Thank you!
Bye~bye!