(TW!! Mentions of being shot, overdosing, and abuse!)
I take a seat around the fire and Alyssa and my dad sit on both sides of me. The fire is crackling soothingly and there's the perfect amount of heat on my body. I don't feel like eating so I just stare at the fire.
I turn to look back at my tent, the forest green tent. I'm looking through the hole that Daryl cut through the door, and I see that my backpack is still open on the ground though my dagger is missing. I don't see any pill bottles anywhere, so I assume they cleaned them up.
What about the ones that are in my bag? There's no way they left them.
I turn back and everyone is looking at me; as soon as I see them, they all look away.
I open my mouth to say something, but I close it instead, not wanting to start anything.
Instead, Glenn does.
He stands up and walks over to us, standing a bit awkwardly. "Uh-um guys?"
Everybody stops eating and looks at him, which obviously makes it even harder for him to tell us whatever it is that he wants to tell us.
"So...the barn is full of Walkers."
Everything stops. It feels like the wind stopped and took a breath at what Glenn said. Everybody immediately turns to look at him, Alyssa gasps and turns to him.
"You're serious?" Rick asks. Glenn nods.
"Hell no." My dad says, standing up and grabbing his gun. Everybody follows, including Alyssa and I. I'm not even going to ask for my dagger, so I just grab my bow and arrow quickly.
All of us walk down the hill, my whole body is still a little weak, so Lori and Alyssa keep close to me and keep a close eye on me.
"Adrian?" Alyssa starts, slowing down so that her and I are at the same walking pace. "Yeah?" She smiles, "I don't think I've seen you give so many hugs...or a hug in so long. What was all of that?" I shrug, "I guess it was just the fact that I survived. I dunno, it felt nice though."
She nods, "I liked seeing it. It looked like you again." I smile. "Thanks." "Obviously it's a work in progress but..." She looks at me, "I know you can fix your brain. Fu-f Nick." I chuckle, "Yeah, f Nick." I rustle her hair and see everyone coming to a stop, the barn right in front of us.
Alyssa and I stop and I take my hand off of her head and put it back down by my side. "What are we gonna do if they are in the barn?" Alyssa whispers. "Hopefully kill 'em."
My dad approaches the barn and slowly looks into the crack of the door. Everybody holds their breath, I don't know if we're expecting the barn to blow up or what but, it's suspenseful nonetheless.
After a few seconds of him looking through the door, he scoffs and turns around, walking back to us. "You cannot tell me you're alright with this." My dad walks past Rick and stands next to Alyssa and I. "I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land."
"This is our lives!" My dad yells. "Lower your voice." Glenn pleads. "We can't just sweep this under the rug." Andrea replies, looking around.
"I hate to say it, but...Andrea's right." She scoffs, "For once." Everybody looks at her quickly, then at me, then back at her. She stiffens up and looks back at the barn.
The hell?
"It ain't right, not remotely." "Okay, we've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or we've just got to go. We have been talking about Fort Benning for a long time-" Shane gets interrupted by Rick. "We can't go!"
"Why, Rick? Why? Because Adrian just woke up? Because both Carl and Daryl have been shot? Because T-Dog's arm is basically slit down the middle? It's been bad luck after bad luck here! So why can't we Rick?"
"Because my daughter is still out there." Carol finally speaks up.
"Okay." Shane scoffs and puts his hands to his mouth and breathes deeply. "Okay, I think it's time that well all start to just...consider the other possibility." "Dad!" I exclaim.
"Shane! We're not leaving Sophia behind." "I'm close to finding this girl! I just found her damn doll two days ago." Daryl approaches my dad.
"You found her doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll."
"Man you don't know what the hell you're talkin' about!" Daryl roars, swinging his arm and stepping closer to my dad.
"Look man, I'm just saying what needs to be said! You get a good lead, it's in the first forty-eight hours-" "Shane, Shane stop!" Rick yells.
"Let me tell you somethin' else, man. If she was alive out there and saw you comin' all methed out with your buck knife-" Alyssa gasps and covers her mouth.
"And geek ears around your neck, she would run in the other direction!" "Shut up!" Daryl yells, trying to grab Shane but Rick stands in the middle of them as they try to fight. Everybody begins to help as it begins to escalate.
"Dad!" I yell, running up to him and grabbing his hand. "Man get the fuck off of me!" My dad yells as he rips his hand out of my grasp and back hands me straight on the side of the face.
Silence.
I stand back, appalled with my hand holding my cheekbone. Nobody says or does anything, they all just stand there, including Alyssa. "I-" I try to speak but for some reason it's incredibly difficult. "Adrian, I-" Shane tries to approach me, but I step back.
"You hit me." I can hear a few people's breath shudder as they hear the complete betrayal in my voice.
"Adrian, I didn't mean-" "You hit me!" I scream, slapping my dad across the face. He barely even flinches, he just stands there, accepting the slap.
"I didn't mean to!" He yells. "Really? You didn't mean to as you looked me directly in the eyes and backhanded me?!" "Okay lets all just-" Rick starts but Shane and I both turn and yell, "Stay out of this!" and turn back to each other.
"I'm your fucking daughter! I just tried to kill myself like seventeen hours ago and when I'm back on my feet I get slapped by my own father!" "Adrian, I thought you were someone else!" "So you would slap another person of this group?!" "No-I-"
"Man what the hell is wrong with you?!" I yell, shoving my dad and turning around. I walk back up the hill, not turning my head to see if anyone is following or even looking; though I know they all are.
My cheekbone stings as I walk back up to the tents and enter my own, sitting on my cot. My eyes fall onto my backpack but almost immediately I look away.
I smile at myself, proud of myself for barely even thinking about the stuff in my backpack.
If it's even in there, I would go check but I'm worried that if I see the pills or get my hands on the pills, I'm not going to be able to shake the thoughts.
"Adrian?" Alyssa enters my tent and sees me sitting on the cot. Her eyes fall onto my backpack then back at me.
"I didn't take anything, don't worry." I groan. "I honestly don't know if anything is in there and frankly, I don't want to look." She smiles, "Yay."
"Dad's really angry." She says, sitting down next to me. "Yeah, me too." "No, not about that. I don't think he really cares." I scoff. "He's angry about the barn and the fact that Rick doesn't want to go in there and kill any of the Walkers."
"Jesus, what the hell is wrong with him?" I rub my hands on my face and exhale. I lean down and put my elbows on my knees. "What are we gonna do?" Alyssa whispers. "Dad's been-" "That's not dad. Not anymore." Alyssa sighs.
"I'm so overwhelmed Adri. First Sophia, then Carl, then Daryl gets shot, then you beat Andrea, then you overdose, then the barn, and now dad's insane."
Holy shit, I didn't even think about how Alyssa could be doing during all of this. How she must be feeling about everything.
"Shit 'Lyss I-" I sigh. "I didn't even think about how-" "I know, I know you didn't. Nobody did, that's fine. It's not that important, I'll be fine." "But, 'Lyss...eventually you won't be. Believe me, I'm the person who would know. If you-" "I'm perfectly fine. Just a little overwhelmed is all." I nod.
"I love you, Alyssa Erin Walsh." I look at her, her eyes filled with tears.
She smiles, "I love you, Adrian Estelle Walsh." She leans over and hugs me; I hug her back so tight that I don't think she can breathe.
When we hear everyone's footsteps, we release each other and wipe our tears. Alyssa smiles a downturned smile and steps out of the tent. I take a second just to realize how good I'm doing. Actually verbalizing that I love someone, hugging people.
I think that overdose really did something to my mental health, and it definitely wasn't bad.
I stand up and step out of the tent, I hear Lori gasp. "Jesus what?" I look around. "Oh, honey." Everyone turns and Lori lightly grabs my face and turns it to the left, showcasing my cheekbone that my dad hit.
"What?!" I almost yell, trying to figure out what they're all staring at me for.
"It's bruised and cut open." Lori lets go of my face and I look into her eyes, "You're kidding, right?" She shakes her head. I hear Daryl huff, pissed off I think more than any of us.
"Jesus." Dale mumbles.
Shane approaches the camp and everyone turns to look at him, his eyes lay on me. He doesn't say shit. He just looks at me.
Daryl immediately jumps up and storms over to Shane.
"Daryl." I warn. He just looks at me and stops right in front of my dad, an arms length away.
"You split her fuckin' cheekbone open you dick!" Daryl yells, punching my dad. "Damn it!" I whisper-yell. I immediately run up to them and stand in the middle of them, shoving my dad away from Daryl because I know he's going to want to start a fight.
I turn my head and my dad catches a glimpse of my cheekbone, when I look back at him, he's just staring at me. I don't see a single emotion on his face, maybe regret but I can't tell.
He says nothing and just walks away. My breath shudders as I release it. Daryl curses under his breath and walks away to the horse barn while I'm still standing there.
Carl runs up to my dad and starts lecturing him on staying here for Sophia.
"And if you ever touch Adrian again, you're gonna get hurt real bad." Aw. "Oh yeah?" My dad crouches down, "And who's gonna hurt me?"
"Me. Or my dad." Carl responds, standing up straighter.
AW!
I smile and look at Lori who is sitting on a stump and sharpening a knife. I decide to walk over there just to talk.
When I approach her, she looks up at me and smiles. "Hey, girl." She says, looking back down at her knife and beginning to sharpen it again.
"How bad's the cut on my cheek?" I ask, sitting on the grass to the left. She looks at me, "Nothing a Band-Aid won't fix." I nod, hesitant to ask my question.
"Say what you're thinking, honey. I can tell you want to." She sets the knife down and turns her body towards me.
"Please don't get angry with me because I'm my dad's daughter so I feel I have a right to know but...is it his?" I immediately put my hands in my face. "Oh my god I sound like a twat."
Lori scoffs and sighs, "Keep it to yourself?" I gasp, "I'll have another little sibling?!" I smile broadly. Lori smiles as well; I think because I'm the only person who's smiling at her being pregnant.
"You're not mad?" Her voice cracks. I chuckle and shake my head. "Not at all. But I assume even though it's my sibling it's not going to be my sibling?" Lori doesn't reply, I think she's scared to.
"Hey, I'm not mad...like at all. I get it-well-I don't get it, but I get it." She sighs a sigh of relief and thanks me. "Am I the only person who hasn't treated you like a slut since they've found out your pregnant?"
"Pretty much." I scoff and mumble, "Dicks." Lori smiles and begins sharpening her knife again.
"Adrian! I need help with this problem!" Alyssa calls from the camp. "Coming!" I yell back. I stand up and dust myself off and turn to walk up but Lori stops me.
"Those um... 'boy shorts' look good on you. Even though you were wearing them yesterday." I smile, "Thanks. Didn't really have time to...you know...change." I give Lori a half-smile and walk back up to the camp.
I see Alyssa sitting at the picnic table and I sit next to her, looking at her math problem. I groan and look at her, "You know how I am with math." "Yeah well you know how I am with it." I smile and pick up her pencil.
"Remember the song I taught you? You the- three, six, nine. Twelve, fifteen, eighteen-" I start in a sing-song voice but my voice trails off as I see Glenn talking to Maggie on the gravel road a few feet away from us.
"-that I don't want you in danger, ever. So I hate to blow your dad's big secret, but I'm sick of secrets. Secrets get you killed. And I'd rather have you pissed off at me and alive, than liking me and dead. So that's why I told them." And with that Glenn storms off. Alyssa grabs my hand under the table and squeezes it as Maggie yells out "Hey, Walker bait."
Glenn stops and turns, saying, "Don't call me that."
Yeah, bitch.
She approaches him and says, "Okay, Glenn." She smiles and kisses him.
Again.