Author's Note: Technically, this is a sequel to "Stolen Dreams". :)
This is for the Bad Batch Appreciation Week. Day 4 is Wrecker. :D
PS. This is for the Bad Batch Bingo square of "Anxiety". ^-^
~ Amina Gila
In one universe, Clone Force 99 was raised apart. They share a dream connection, one which allowed them to grow up together. Their dreams only stop when together, and they have been, ever since their squad formed... until they weren't. Wrecker isn't ready to face his little brother again after Kamino, but something else is wrong, isn't it?
His little brother just shot him. Crosshair, no less.
Crosshair, who made Lula for Wrecker even if he didn't know he was real. Crosshair, who's always been there and been... not nice, exactly, but he would never... do this.
Focusing on Omega, who they've seen a few times throughout the years, and showing her around, is helpful, but it only goes so far. Not thinking about Crosshair or about the constant pain in his shoulder is the only thing keeping him sane.
He'd been trying not to fall asleep, simply fearing what would happen if he did. He doesn't want to awaken in their barracks again, only for Crosshair to be there, but Wrecker isn't fully sure he would be, anyway, considering what happened.
He left them.
He turned on them.
He – how could he do that?
He tried to kill them.
And that doesn't make any sense, because it is so unlike him. Why would...
But being with Omega is calming, and they finally sit down together, exhausted, and she dozes off against the wall. Despite himself, he finds himself doing the same...
Only to blink back to consciousness in their barracks again.
Wrecker groans. He doesn't want to be there. Doesn'twanttobehere, not when Crosshair could drop by any moment. They can't be physically hurt in the dream reality. They found that out years ago, when they were two years old, and Crosshair fell off their table. Wrecker was freaked out, but he got right up without a scratch.
They've been wondering what would happen if someone got shot there, but no one's brave or crazy enough to try.
He's pretty sure he will now, though.
His little brother shot him, tried to kill them, and –
"Wrecker?"
Oh, great.
He just groans. Hunter and Tech's bunks have never looked so empty before. He doesn't want to be here alone, and that's stupid.
There's a shuffling as Crosshair presumedly gets off his bunk.
Wrecker sits up anyway, picking up Lula, hugging her close to his chest, because hiding from Crosshair won't make him go away.
Crosshair moves into his line of sight, though he's keeping back a little, expression pinched. He looks scared, which is weird, and... he's still wearing his normal armor. They can wish-change their clothes here – that was something they realized on the rare times they were apart during the war – and Crosshair could just as well have been wearing the same armor he was in the hangar, but he's... not.
"Are – are you alright?" Crosshair asks.
Wrecker stares at him, mostly just confused. "Why'd you leave?" he blurts out finally, because that's what doesn't make any sense.
His expression twists, and it looks so raw. "I don't know. When I'm – out there, I want to hurt you. And I can't make it stop."
This doesn't make any sense. If Tech was here, he would know, but Wrecker doesn't, and he's just hurt and so, so confused. "But," he objects, "You don't here?"
"No," he answers, shaking his head, "Not here." Crosshair seems more like himself now, and he looks so lost and lonely and scared that it hurts.
Wrecker has no idea what to do, but he slides off his bunk mostly on instinct, even if he knows he should probably be more careful, because he can't just... ignore this. He pauses when they're close, uncertain, and admittedly unsure of touching Crosshair – he has no idea how he'd take it after earlier.
He's not scared. He isn't scared of things. Obviously. He's just not sure Crosshair wouldn't try to kill him again.
"I shot you," Crosshair adds, arms crossed, curled around him in a way that somehow makes him look smaller. "I would've killed you. I couldn't – stop it."
Once, Tech had told them that he questioned if it were possible for any of them to die, because of their connection. Not that anyone would know.
Wrecker steps forwards, throwing caution into the wind, pulling him into a hug. Crosshair freezes up for a moment before reaching back, arms wrapping around his waist and clings. He's shaking. Is he crying? Wrecker freezes, panicking. What is he supposed to do when one of his brothers starts crying?
"What's wrong with me?" Crosshair asks, voice muffled against Wrecker's chestplate.
"I don't know," he whines. He's just as freaked out. Tech was saying something weird about programming but that didn't make any sense.
For a long, many moments, neither of them moves. Wrecker doesn't know what he'd say or do, anyway. He doesn't have anything to say.
"Are you alright?" Crosshair asks again, many minutes later, by which point they've curled up on the edge of Wrecker's bunk together.
"It's fine," Wrecker assures, "Echo already treated it."
Crosshair pulls his hand back to touch Wrecker's pauldron, fingers ghosting over the metal. "I'm sorry," he says quietly.
"It's okay," he says – which it's not but something else is happening. Something else must be happening, though it doesn't make sense. A part of him wants to pull back and ask the others, but... "Hunter and Tech will know what to do."
Crosshair hums an agreement, snuggling closer again.
Wrecker doesn't know how much longer they'll have, but he's content to just sit here and hold Crosshair for now, in whatever bits they do.
They don't have much longer before Echo and Hunter wake him up.
"I talked to Crosshair," he says immediately, and they all freeze.
"That's still happening?" Echo asks. He's never been a part of their dreams, but they told him about it after he joined their squad. He found it strange, but he accepted that just like he's accepted everything about them. "I thought that would've stopped."
Hunter twitches, frowning, expression pained.
"Something's wrong with him," Wrecker supplies, giving a half-helpless look towards Tech, who's currently flying. He doesn't know how to explain it when he understands so little himself. "He was himself again."
"Himself?" Hunter repeats.
Across from Wrecker, Omega's pushed herself up straight, just watching.
"Yeah. He said he couldn't stop it."
"That doesn't make any sense," Echo replies. He's angry, and if Wrecker hadn't seen Crosshair, he probably would've been too.
"Actually," Omega pipes up, "It does."
"How?!" Wrecker yelps.
"It's his inhibitor chip," Omega replies, "The Kaminoans put them in all the clones to control them."
"But that's never happened before," Wrecker protests.
"They only work if they were activated," she replies. "The programming has... orders, I think."
That... still feels totally beyond his comprehension, but it makes sense. Maybe.
"Tech, when you said the regs were programmed, you never mentioned a chip," Hunter says quietly.
"How else did you think it worked?" he asks rhetorically.
"We hafta get him back," Wrecker insists, because that's all he can fixate on. Crosshair is their little brother, and he can't leave him like that.
"We'll talk to him," Hunter assures, "And..." he trails off, sighing. "We'll see what we can do. Either way, he'll still be fighting us. We need to be careful."
***
It's a while before they're able to go to sleep. That's normal, though it's frustrating now, because he just wants to see Crosshair again. They're leaving the moon, heading for Pantora, when they finally get the chance to drop by. Until things settle down a bit, they won't be able to monitor, and it's starting to drive him crazy.
Which, unfortunately, makes taking naps much, much harder.
It's Crosshair this time who drops in last, and the others practically teleport over to him. Crosshair just lays there, glaring studiously up at the ceiling.
Wrecker pokes him. "You okay?"
He rubs a hand over his face, pushing himself upright, looking between them. He looks even more exhausted than last time, somehow.
"Crosshair?" Hunter reaches out to touch his shoulder. Crosshair doesn't move at all, though he's been practically as stiff as a board since he appeared. "We figured out what was wrong."
"Did you," he deadpans.
He's fallen back into being abnormally snappy, and Wrecker doesn't fully know why, but for a terrifying moment, he can't help wondering if his last conversation with Crosshair really happened and if his little brother is being controlled here, too.
"The programming Tech mentioned," Hunter answers, "It's more complicated than we realized. It's... not something you can control."
"When I'm up," he says hesitantly, "I don't even know there is something wrong. That it isn't me."
"The Kaminoans put inhibitor chips in us," Hunter explains quietly, "They were made to control us."
"Our deviant nature made them inactive," Tech adds, "Except in you, it appears."
Wrecker slides onto Crosshair's bunk beside him, and they sit together. "What do we do?" Wrecker queries finally.
"We?" Crosshair repeats, jerking away from him with a sudden fury. "If you come back, I'll kill you." He sounds desperate, terrified.
"We'll find a way to get you back," Hunter promises. It almost feels empty, but Wrecker knows he means it, and he clings to that hope like a lifeline. It's all they have. They can't – can't live like this. Not after getting together again. Growing up apart, seeing one another only in fleeting dreams, was so, so hard. Now that they've been together? It's neigh impossible.
"It's too dangerous," he objects. "I won't let you put yourselves at risk for me."
"We do not leave our own behind," Tech replies firmly, refusing to back down.
None of them will. It... will be hard, but they'll find a way. They always do.
***
When he wakes up, he almost wishes he didn't. Hunter and Tech are beside each other on the floor, talking, and they freeze, looking up the moment Wrecker appears.
He always wanted to understand what the inhibitor chips were like and how they worked but he didn't want to find out. Not like this. Not – he was about to kill Omega.
Wrecker hurt them all because he couldn't make it stop, either, and now, he understands exactly how Crosshair feels.
"Wrecker?" Tech is the first to his feet, and Hunter a moment later.
He groans a little. "Hey."
"I assume your presence here is a positive sign," Tech says.
"Someone stunned me," he supplies. Right before I could kill the kid. Our kid. Our sister. Omega.
"Are you okay?" Hunter queries.
"Yeah." Sort of. Not really. But he wasn't hurt, unlike everyone else. "Echo?"
"Echo can take a stun bolt," Tech reassures. He looks more or less alright, and it's not as though a few bruises would be nearly enough to slow him down, but that doesn't make Wrecker feel any less sick at the confused hurt on Tech's face when he'd started strangling him.
And he couldn't make it stop.
He was just angry. And there was no – no reason for it. He just couldn't stop thinking that they were traitors and betrayed him and the Republic and everything that mattered. There wasn't... room or time for anything else.
Tech hadn't fought him. He was the only one who hadn't – he could have, and it wasn't as though he didn't know what was happening – and that's probably what saved him.
He just feels sick.
But they're okay, since they're here, and they've survived far, far worse.
Just not things he did himself.
"Tech," Wrecker blurts out, stepping forwards. He's almost afraid to be near him, to touch him, even if he wants to. He hurt him. He was gonna...
"I know it was not your choice," Tech assures. "It was not your fault."
That doesn't really help, though, because Wrecker was strangling him and he – he couldn't stop. He has never seen Tech scared before, not until right then.
Tech flickers, blinking in and out of existence. "Ah," he says, "Rex is calling me. I believe I am needed elsewhere."
Hunter nods to him, and he vanishes.
Wrecker's probably gonna end up alone here for a while, but then again, Tech wasn't stunned too badly, and Hunter nearly died.
"Uh," he offers awkwardly, "About earlier..." Offering an apology to the brother who took care of them, and who always has, when Wrecker was about to break his neck, feels... pointless. Hopelessly inadequate, even if they all knew he couldn't stop it. "I'm sorry," he supplies.
"I know," Hunter assures, and there's nothing short of gentle affection on his face. "It happens all the time, and it wasn't something you could stop."
"Still," Wrecker insists, "I almost killed you."
"We'll be fine," Hunter reassures, and it's a miracle he sounds fine. Wrecker was about to snap his neck. It would've been so easy. Bones aren't that strong. He feels sick. Hunter had been struggling, fighting as hard as he could, but it hadn't been enough. Nothing he did could've broken Wrecker's grip on him. He'd looked terrified, just like Tech had, and that will haunt him forever.
Hunter approaches where Wrecker is still seated on his bunk, as if none of it happened at all. "We'll get your chip out."
He still doesn't like the thought of getting his head cut open, but he'd much rather that then worry about killing his brothers and Omega.
His older brother squeezes his shoulder. It's comforting. Reassuring. Even if there's still a part of Wrecker that's terrified he won't be able to stop himself from lashing out, bur Crosshair doesn't do that here, so there shouldn't be any reason it'd be different with Wrecker. Then again, he thought the same thing back on Bracca, thought that he could make it stop, and then, he was strangling Tech.
He doesn't even understand what happened, but the lighting and machines and everything was screaming danger, and his head was hurting so much, and then, it suddenly stopped. And all that mattered was that his brothers disobeyed Order 66 and that they were a threat.
It never seemed possible for Hunter to die, but it was so close, and it would've been Wrecker who did it. Can they die? They don't know. Or would their... this thing, these dreams keep them alive forever?
When Hunter shifts forwards a bit, reaching down to hug him, Wrecker just clings back. And it's probably silly how shaken up he is by what happened, but he can't help it.
Hunter briefly kisses his forehead before pulling back. His figure flickers, half translucent. "Echo's here," he says, "It shouldn't be much longer."
Wrecker watches him fade and curls up on his bunk, holding Lula, prepared for a long wait. Somehow, he thinks it's just going to get worse.
***
It. Does.
Omega was as forgiving as Hunter about it, which he's grateful about, but predictably... the Empire shows up.
As did Crosshair.
And then Hunter got shot, another blatant reminder of how fragile their lives are.
And then they lost Omega.
Hunter seemed half hysterical the entire time. Echo and Tech are at least being mostly coherent. Wrecker certainly can't say the same about himself.
It's not until after they've found her that Hunter turns to them. "We need to talk to Crosshair," he says, with an abnormal sense of urgency.
"W-why?" Wrecker blurts out. "Did something happen?"
Hunter's expression tightens. "Yeah. He – he was injured. On Bracca. In the explosion, I think."
That makes sleeping even harder, but eventually, Wrecker manages to knock himself out. He was getting annoyed enough to ask Tech to stun him. Or sedate him. Or something. Because they need to talk to Crosshair again.
When he finally gets there, Tech is sitting on the edge of Crosshair's bunk, and their youngest doesn't look like he's moved at all.
"...doesn't work," Tech is saying, sounding increasingly annoyed as he tries and fails to scan Crosshair, even though Wrecker doesn't think the scanner could possibly read off anything other than what Tech can see with his eyes. That's not how things work in this dreamscape.
"And you just figured that out?" Crosshair replies dryly.
"Well, it was merely an assumption that it would not work."
"And now, it's a proven theory," Crosshair throws back, waving his good arm at Tech, attempting to shoo him off. He doesn't move.
"W-what happened?" Wrecker manages to ask finally, a gnawing worry twisting deep inside him. He has a very, very bad feeling about what this might mean. "How did..."
"It, technically, was not our fault," Tech replies, and that doesn't make him feel any better. "We had little other choice." His tone is short, clipped, though – like he's angry.
"We blew up the ion engine," Hunter answers quietly, reaches out to squeeze Crosshair's hand. That, surprisingly, he doesn't fight. "He... was right there."
He feels sick. "We did this?" Wrecker yelps. He's the one who hit the detonator. He watched it blow up. It wasn't fun that time, not really, mostly because it was Crosshair who nearly killed them in the first place. He was going to incinerate them. Burn them to ash.
That doesn't mean Wrecker had any idea that Crosshair was going to be caught in the crossfire. They've all been hurt before, and this is nothing new, really, but it – it's never been him who did it before.
Why does he keep hurting his brothers?
Tech, Hunter, now Crosshair. He really wants to cry.
Wrecker doesn't know how badly Crosshair was hurt, but most of his face is bandaged, and one of his arms is in a sling – it must've been broken. Probably from the force of the explosion.
"I was trying to kill you," Crosshair reminds bluntly.
"And we promised to get you out," Hunter objects quietly, "And we... haven't."
"I never asked you to," he points out. "That was your choice."
"As long as you're with the Empire, we're going to keep fighting each other," Hunter adds. It's the truth, even if it's one Wrecker does not want to think about. "We're going to keep risking hurting each other. None of us will be safe until that changes."
"Don't tell me," he orders sharply. "If I know, I'll be prepared."
Wrecker just stares, hands fluttering uselessly. He doesn't know what to do, if there's anything he can do. He feels useless, and he hates it.
"We made it out fine," Hunter tells Crosshair, and something in him seems to relax the slightest amount.
He makes a non-committed sound that could mean just about anything.
Tech looks to Wrecker, expression tight and tensed. He's worried, too.
Even if they can't be hurt here, they can still feel pain in real-world physical injuries. It's happened to all of them. Wrecker got lucky when he lost his eye – all of them were there, so when he was unconscious, he didn't feel a thing. The knowledge that Crosshair isn't, and he's feeling every bit of what he must be if he were awake is...
Wrecker drops Lula onto his little brother's chest, and yes, that normally could've hurt him, but here, they don't hurt more than what they are for real.
Crosshair huffs. "I don't need your toy, Wrecker."
Hunter gives him his best disappointed look.
He groans. "Thank you," Crosshair grumbles in a tone implying he'd much rather have stabbed himself.
The guilt doesn't go away.
They don't move from Crosshair's side, and eventually, they move to curling up together on the floor.
It isn't much, but it's something, and they end up with Hunter pulling Crosshair half into his lap, half in Wrecker's. Wrecker drapes an arm around Hunter, tugging him closer, and Tech sits on Crosshair's other side, holding his hand. Crosshair twists a little, curling closer to them and pressing his face against Hunter's chest, breathing labored.
They don't really talk. There's not much to say.
And like he asked, they wait to talk about it until they can do it together with Echo and Omega after they wake up. They're going to figure something out, but it's... not something they can plan ahead. They have to wait for an opportunity, no matter how hard the wait is.
***
It's a couple weeks later, on Ryloth, when they finally get the chance they were hoping for. Crosshair is there, and that's the moment they take.
Going after him is hard, especially because he no doubt expects it, but they have to try.
Omega's the one who comes up with the plan, and it's simple enough. Hunter and Echo go in to free the Syndullas, and Wrecker and Tech get to blow up the factory. Whichever team it is that encounters Crosshair will report to the others. Preferably before engaging.
Or being shot, nobody dares add.
Crosshair will expect them, and they already know it won't be easy.
"We're gonna need a pick-up," Hunter sends over the comms, "Echo and I broke off from the group. We're scouting out. I suspect he's close."
"That could be a problem," Tech replies briskly, "Seeing as we have fighters inbound."
"We can't call this off," Echo responds, "We've gone too far for that."
"I have a bad feeling about this," Wrecker groans, as a group of fighters approaches. He gets on the guns right off, anyway, though.
With the kid's help – both Omega and the Twi'lek girl Hera – they successfully take down the fighters. Wrecker takes over flying, briefly, while Tech goes down to help get Crosshair.
They found a place to get his chip out already – for as hard as that was. It's the first thing they did after Bracca, because going back there is too dangerous.
Crosshair looks... bad. Wrecker saw his scars from the explosion in their dreams but seeing it for real is somehow different.
Tech keeps him sedated, and Wrecker stays to watch, while they return to Ord Mantell.
He doesn't wake. Not even briefly, not until it's safe.
Tech has to sedate him once or twice, just in case. All three of them take turns in their dreamscape, keeping him company, whenever they have the chance.
And when he does, finally, all five are crowded around.
"Hi," Omega says, hovering over him.
Crosshair blinks up at her, then huffs. "You came back."
"We promised," Hunter reminds, smiling. He looks about as exhausted as Wrecker feels, but at least they have a guarantee of things getting better.
Crosshair sits up, glancing between them. He looks a little more relaxed than he has in a long while now.
"It's good to have ya back," Wrecker supplies, patting his shoulder.
"Where've you been staying?" Crosshair asks finally.
"We'll show you," Omega says cheerfully. "Come on. I'll show you my room."
He looks at Hunter, who just shrugs.
Omega pretty much takes over the conversation after that, talking a mile a minute about everywhere they've been and everything that's happened, taking him all across the bit of Ord Mantell they've been to before and all over the Marauder.
It's exciting, too, in its own way.
Being with Crosshair again is easing some of the tension of their month apart, though Wrecker can't help worrying, anyway – wondering if something else will happen to keep them apart.
It's late when they finally go to bed, or rather, try to. They've never done this before, not with Omega here, too, though she usually sleeps in her room.
Wrecker finds himself looking to Crosshair, mostly in a desperate attempt to make sure he's really here.
Wrecker normally doesn't bother taking his armor off to sleep – none of them do – but he's exhausted, and they're on Ord Mantell right now, so they don't have to worry about being attacked right now. He can't sleep though.
Now that the excitement is worn off, all he can think about is how he's terrified they'll lose Crosshair or someone again.
"You okay?" Crosshair asks finally, "You keep rolling around."
Wrecker groans. "Can't sleep."
There's a distant shuffling, and he has a split second of warning before Crosshair swings himself onto Wrecker's rack, sprawling half on top of him.
Wrecker yelps, then laughs, catching him in much the same manner he holds their kid in and twisting them both over a bit to keep Crosshair closer to the wall – not that either of them would fall off, anyway.
Crosshair curls himself around him, and it's precarious, but it's not like they haven't squeezed into much worse places before. "Better?" he asks.
It doesn't change all the time they've spent apart, but at least when he's holding his little brother, it feels far less likely that he's about to disappear on them again. "Stay here," Wrecker requests instead, arms winding around his waist, pressing his little brother tighter against him. Not that he'd let Crosshair get up even if he was trying. Which he's not. He's the one who came here, after all.
Crosshair presses his face to Wrecker's shoulder, twisting a little to wrap an arm around him. "I'm not going anywhere."
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