You sighed long and hard. There wasn't much sorting left, and the closer you came to the end, the closer you were to meeting Sodo in the middle of the basement for the final stacks. You knew it was only going to end badly. That didn't explain where the fuck he was. But where you were—was a place you'd rather not be.
You glared at the old wooden door to the ghoul's common room. There were three ghoul packs under the clergy, but they all shared that room; you didn't know who you wanted to bump into the least. Ideally, Sodo was on the other side, so you could grab him by the pointed ear and be on your fucking way.
In another scenario, you would walk in on him in a compromising situation... why did your ears warm at that? Why were you thinking of him fucking Swiss? Damn it. He ruined it. He was like a little tapeworm in your fucking brain.
The worst-case scenario was probably walking in on the ghouls, who were only kind in performance. Who smiled at you in person and called you a disease to your back.
Sodo was a horrid shit, but he was kind enough to be cruel to your face.
You knocked dismally at the common room door and waited with hands behind your back.
"Which brother or sister do you think~?" You heard a sly voice ask.
You grimaced. Those ghouls were about to be severely disappointed—expecting dainty human ears on the other side. After all, what ghoul wasn't just allowed to simply waltz into the ghoul's common area?
"My bets on Lacey~" you heard a male voice purr.
You cocked your head. They really didn't know much about the congregation.
"Nuhh... Daniel," said another masc voice.
Your brow creased, and you knocked harder.
"Oo, someone insistent~"
"Or it's Sister Imperator..." muttered another voice approaching the door. It swung inward abruptly, and your heart stuttered to see Swiss with his half-buttoned black dress shirt and dreads loose. "—Cardinal," he greeted in surprise.
"Which one is it?" you heard whispered.
"_______."
You heard some unabashed groans behind him.
You mentally scolded yourself for ever finding Swiss attractive. For still finding him attractive. "Sorry for the blue balls; I am just looking for Sodo," you said bluntly.
He blinked slowly, registering, "What did you just say?"
"Sodo isn't in the basement, and I am looking for him," you tried again and got interested in the wall beside you. It was easier to dislike someone when they weren't so disgustingly gorgeous as Swiss was with his dark grey skin and bottomless black irises.
"______," the door opened wider, and Rain came to stand by Swiss.
"Oh, hey, Rain~" You still felt he deserved a little sparkle, but there was that deafening silence again as they looked at you. Your grin faded—right, Rain was still a ghoul and you were... "Look, I get that you don't wanna rat him out or whatever, but Sister has a pretty tight grip on both our dicks, so..." you grimaced and wanted out of there.
Swiss shook his head, "no.. no.. yeah, I haven't seen him today—sorry, have we done something...?"
You just cocked your head. "You're kidding, right?"
He shook his dreads.
Your eyes flickered to Rain, "You were behind me last week at supper; what did you hear?"
He looked down, embarrassed.
Your attention shifted back to Swiss, "Ah, you probably won't remember. It wasn't noteworthy; it sounded like a few every day passing comments." Ghouls ribbed each other; it's what they did—and still, they had not known you were there. You were laughed at, not laughed with. You cleared your throat. "Anywho, if the little imp shows up, send him to the basement... I'll keep looking... Oh, Rain, did your boots come up okay?"
"They, uh, still smell like meat..." he still looked at the floor as he breathed a laugh.
"Mmm, not such a bad thing—I've recently tanned some elk hide... You give me your size, and I'm on it." You started backing away.
He finally looked up at you with a small smile and a nod. He had those doe eyes and soft, scruffy cheeks. You weren't about to find him attractive either—right?
"Would you like some help looking for Sodo?" Swiss asked and started stepping from the door.
"No," you took a quicker step backwards and warded him away with a hand. "I think I might know where he is... but for future reference and for whoever is in there," you pointed behind the two of them, "Sister Lacey is a raging lesbian, and Pastor Daniel is violently asexual—I would try talking and treating the congregation like people before trying to fuck them." Or they could treat anyone out of their small circle like people for a start. You gave a short nod and turned on your heel.
"I'll keep an eye out for him, ______," Rain said softly.
"Thank you, Rain." And from around the corner came Phantom and Aether, who both near-plowed into you. Your mouth pulled a very firm line. "Watch it, Phantom—I am extremely contagious."
"O-oh..." he grimaced, seemingly embarrassed about being called out for what he had said.
"Fucking dickhead," you muttered and walked away, tail flickering.
"Nice to see you too, Cardinal," Aeth called, and without turning around, you flipped him off.
"What the hell just happened?" You heard Swiss ask.
It felt good to be mean after so long of grinning and bearing the awkward silences, the shared looks and the whispering. They did not like you, which meant you could reserve your kindness for the clergy. They would likely dislike you even more now but fuck it—and fuck them.
In your good mood, you dished out pets and pecks to any of the congregation you passed on the way out of the building. There was only one other place the short stick would be.
A/n: proud of our little Cardinal Ghoul for going in guns blazing
hard for a people pleaser to do