Chapter 62
"No, no, Blake was scared of raccoons, not bears."
"He was also scared of bears though!"
"Pretty sure he shat his pants because he saw a raccoon once."
"I did not. Can you guys stop saying nonsense about me?" I snapped at my cousins, sitting in the living room after dinner.
We were done with cleaning up now, and the adults were mostly speaking together and my cousins had decided that this was the perfect time to make up stories.
"You were scared of raccoons though," Jacob, one of my older cousins said.
I knew what he was referring to.
"It was hiding in the trash bin!" I defended myself. "It threw the trash bin on the ground and I screamed. It was the middle of the night and we were playing hide and seek, and Jayden, Josh and Peyton had convinced me that there were ghosts around the house. I thought it was a ghost!"
"You were scared of bears too though, for no logical reason."
"Being scared of a bear is the logical reason. Bears are dangerous," I replied automatically. Why was everyone suddenly so interested in making a fool out of me?
I was positively glaring.
"Yes, Blake is very scared of bears. I've seen it firsthand," Lexi replied nonchalantly,
I gapped at her, betrayed. "What?"
She just grinned at me, while my cousins were positively beaming over this. "You ran away from bears even if it meant getting sticky spikes in your pants"
"You ran away too!" I shot back, reminded of my prank at the creek.
She shrugged, unfazed. "I was just following your lead."
I threw my head back, exasperated. "Ohmygod."
"But, I'm pretty sure he shat his pants though. Why was that, if it wasn't because of a raccoon?" Peyton continued, not letting go of that stupid nonsense.
I flipped him off. "I never shat my pants."
"No, no, I think you did," Peyton pressed.
"I think you did too," Victoria agreed.
"When I was a baby maybe," I grumbled.
"No, no, I think this was like..." Peyton narrowed his eyes, thinking, "too old to be acceptable."
"Jesus fucking Christ. I need a drink," I whined, just making my cousins cackle more.
"It's funny, everyone always gangs up on you," Lexi teased me, leaning her shoulder against mine.
"I'm such an easy punching bag," I replied, kind of curling up against her, ready to lean my head against her lap.
I got a cushion thrown in my face.
"Ew, ew, get away from each other. Groooooss," Lucas yelled, while my other cousins were even more amused.
The commotion kind of made the adults realized it was getting late though.
"Alright, well, I'm beat. I'm going to bed," one of my uncles announced, his wife following him.
"Should we go watch a horror movie downstairs?" one of my younger cousins asked.
"I don't want to hear you guys screaming while I sleep," Jacob said, making a face.
"Whatever."
"Did you want to go to bed?" I asked my girlfriend, now that I was seeing more and more people heading for their rooms.
"Yeah, I'm a little tired from the traveling and..." she said the second part more softly "worrying." I grinned at her, while we got up from the couch. "So, where am I sleeping?" my Pumpkin asked.
"We didn't know the arrangement so Blake, we put you in your room, and Lexi in the red one for the guest, two doors over," my grandmother replied.
Everyone in the family had a room. It was a big house. And there were a few more extra rooms when there was more company too.
I kinda wanted to pout though. I was so used to sleeping with my Pumpkin. The bed would feel empty without her.
After telling everyone goodnight, we headed hand in hand to our rooms, I left my girlfriend in front of her door, kissing her goodnight, pouting.
I dragged my feet to my own room.
My grandparents were not the kind of people who renovated a room once someone had moved out.
They kept everything the way it was.
So, it was always strange, coming back to this room.
This room had been mine for longer than the one at home had.
There was a nice familiarity, with getting ready for bed between these walls.
Yes, there were a lot of sad memories. But they also were good ones. I wanted to stop seeing these memories as something sad. They were happy. I was just sad thinking about them.
I got in bed, and took my book. I was pretty sure I would have a hard time falling asleep. It had been an eventful day, and I still felt restless.
So I tried reading.
Not too long after that though, I heard familiar footsteps in the hallway.
I didn't even need to look up from my book when my door creaked opened. "Naughty Lexi, already sneaking into my bed," I said softly, with a grin.
"Technically, I'm not in your bed," Lexi sadly pointed out.
What a shame. Something that would be soon corrected, I hoped.
I wasn't planning on doing any fornication. But I kinda wanted to hold her. I was... well feeling sad, honestly.
About my brother. And I was pretty sure I needed to talk about it with my Pumpkin.
"But you will be soon," I replied, setting my book down, and started to laugh like a villain in a cartoon.
Lexi was across the room in a flash, covering my mouth with her hand. "Will you shut up?" she hissed at me.
I easily took her hand off, and smirked at her, "what are you freaking out for now?"
"I don't want your grandparents to be mad because I was in your room," she replied, in a hurried, hushed tone, "Look, I just want a shirt or a hoodie and I'm on my way."
I had no shirts of hoodie to spare for my Pumpkin. She already had enough.
"No, you're not."
"I am!"
I rolled my eyes at her. "Please. Anyway, my grandparents don't mind you being in my room."
"Are you sure?" she pressed, clearly not believing me.
Well, we would have to find out now, wouldn't we?
I got out of my bed.
Lexi looked absolutely confused. "What are you doing?"
I ignored her and just walked out of the room, with my Pumpkin trailing behind me, hissing a "hey, come back here."
I knew exactly where my grandmother would be at this time of the night.
She had company.
She would be making bread.
I headed straight for the kitchen and found her, doing exactly that.
"What's wrong sweetheart?" she asked me as soon as she saw me walk into the room.
No point in beating around the bush. "Grandma, can Lexi sleep in my room?"
I heard my girlfriend's loud gasp beside me. I almost snorted.
"Blake Eaton, don't be doing naughty things under my roof," she laughed, unbothered.
"Nothing naughty, promised," I replied, pressing my palm against my heart as a promise.
"You better," she said with a smile, and patted my cheek over the counter. "Now go sleep you two," she whooshed us away.
Lexi did not comply with that instruction, because she looked absolutely shocked.
It was nice for a change. I was always the one being shocked at something her shark of a father said. It was time for her to be shocked at my cool grandma.
I told her goodnight hurriedly, and grabbed Lexi's hand, dragging her back to my room.
I thought she was going to argue with me a bit more, but as soon as the door was closed, she crawled into my bad.
I grinned and joined her, turning off the lights.
I kissed the top of her hand, snuggled in her arms. This was much better. "So? My family wasn't so scary after all?" I asked softly.
"No, they're all really nice. I think I was mostly nervous because your father is usually such a serious person, so I guess I kinda thought it would feel like that surrounded by his family," she whispered.
"Yeah, I think my father was always a bit more serious. And I also think my grandparents had a lot of plans for their children and that it meant a lot of pressure back then. It's more chill to be a grandparent."
"I guess you're right," she replied, brushing a hand against my chest.
"I was thinking about that earlier too. How grandpa always feels so approachable and how my own father doesn't always feel like that. But I guess the dynamic between them was different before, and that made my dad the way he is."
Lexi took a breath, and then asked gently. "How is it? With your parents now?"
"It's getting better," I admitted.
"It's a little weird that they're not here today, right? I mean, who needs to work so close to Christmas?"
She wasn't wrong. But with therapy, I had a better understanding of my family's dynamic now.
"People who are still running away from their problems."
"It's hard for them to come back here?" my Pumpkin asked.
I held her a little bit more tightly in my arms, her head tucked under my chin. "Yeah. I think my father regrets not staying here. If we would have stayed here, Jayden wouldn't have gotten into the accident. And I guess my mom feels guilty at the same time. For wanting to stay close to her own family instead of here. It's just... lots of guilt. And it's an emotional time of the year, regardless."
I took a pause. Lexi stayed quiet, like she knew I needed to courage to work up what I was about to say.
"It's... it was Jayden's death anniversary two weeks ago."
I felt my girlfriend kind of freeze in my arms. "Wait, what?"
"Yeah..."
She shifted in my arms, looking in my eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"
I stared at the ceiling, and not in her eyes because I didn't want to cry. "We never really talk about it at home. We usually try to act as if it wasn't happening. We act like it's a normal day. But yeah... It's always a difficult time of the year."
We'd gotten better and better, every year, at acting like everything was okay. At acting like that day as like any other day.
Better at hiding, but feeling worse and worse every year for it.
"I'm so sorry Blake," Lexi said, and kissed my shoulder, trying to comfort me. I smiled, a little sadly at her. "Do you want to talk about him?" she asked.
Did I?
"Yeah..."
So, in the comfort of the night, in the closest thing to my childhood bed, I did.
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Happy Wednesday my little Pumpkins? :')
Soooooo sorry! I was sure I had scheduled this post, and the last few days have been a little hectic. My sister is about to give birth (it's her third kid) but she just got covid and it's gonna make everything complicated, and aaaaaah. I'm also working more again. :') So yeah. I didn't check. I just realized my grave error. I hope I shall be forgiven. XD
Anyway! Yeah. Gonna go now. (Did you read the Jay & Josh chapter? Did you like it?)
Alright! Leaving! Byyyyye! See you on Monday this time. XD LOVE YOU GUYS.