Here, in the alley behind the club, Finn took a deep breath, the music and screaming already fading into the background.
A steady drumbeat thumped against his back, the bass creating a solid line under his feet. He felt like he would bounce out of his own skin, but didn’t.
He looked around the empty alley, which seemed to have more shadows than light. His eyes couldn't quite penetrate them yet.
After about half an hour, his peace ended.
"It's good to see you," a voice said, and the smell of a cigarette caused Finn to turn around. "I was trying to get in."
"What are you doing here, Kevin?" Finn asked. The guy, now wearing an extremely tight grey sports shirt and sweatpants, had a similar body type to Finn. but Kevin was larger in the chest and his torso was more defined in a V shape.
Great! More envy coursed through Finn's veins!
"I wanted to ask if I could join the party," Kevin said, stubbing out his cigarette on the brick wall. "But I didn't know if you would want me here." The last word was mumbled, and he shrugged. There was still something in his expression that Finn couldn't quite figure out. Something sad, or maybe anxious. Maybe even afraid. But there was also a glimmer of hope in those grey irises. A spark of joy at having found a kindred soul.
So he decided not to say anything about Kevin's odd behaviour until he was sure of it. And it was almost clear that Kevin was waiting for an answer anyway.
"Yeah, no problem. Come on in if you want," Finn pointed to the backstage door he had just come out of. "I really don't care anymore."
"Are you okay?" Kevin asked, leaning a little closer. "You look kind of sad, buddy."
Finn didn't reply. Instead, he grabbed Kevin by the wrist and dragged him towards the door leading deeper into the club.
Kevin stumbled behind him, laughing and smiling.
"That bad, huh?" Kevin's smile faded after a few moments.
They were both backstage, surrounded by high-quality lights and clothes hanging from racks.
"Sometimes it's better to tell your problems to a stranger, even if he's your rival," Finn said. "You see, there's something that…"
"I'm not your rival," Kevin said with a laugh. "I thought it was clear that I'm your fan. Even after I took off the hideous clothes that Anton makes me wear, you insist!" Kevin grinned again and then frowned. "I'm a friend, so let me help you with whatever you're dealing with, okay?"
Finn smiled and nodded. This was easier. Not too many people would ask him about his situation lately.
"I think I'm invisible," Finn looked him up and down. "Not like you, I mean, you're one of those monsters that can turn invisible, Zeth has told me about House Visbal a lot... Not everything was good.”
“I am,” Kevin clarified. "I used to be just like you," Kevin laughed, a full hearty laugh, and Finn giggled. "Oh man. That sucks, right?"
"How did you fix it? How did you get people to finally notice you?" Finn asked, taking a seat on a stool next to a row of shoes. Kevin sat next to him on a second stool.
"I changed everything. Eating habits, started hitting the gym, homemade facials... But still, nothing helped. My nose is horrible, so I always thought that was it but I realised I was very wrong."
"I see, I did the same thing. Not the nose! I mean, I also became a gym rat and thought that a better body would bring better social results, and it did, but in the band, I think it doesn't help when there are better bodies and faces than mine." Finn sighed. "I used to be a lifeguard on a beach in Hawaii. No one knew I was a monster, not even myself. I didn't even know I was a descendant of House Seamons until I met Zeth and the others. It all made sense, why I never fit in anywhere, why I was so good at swimming, the insomnia that never affected me."
"I think you and I share the story of the skinny guy who got bullied in high school," Kevin said, and Finn chuckled a bit, nodding.
"I used to be the guy who never got a date," Finn laughed, "And then I became a lifeguard and girls followed me everywhere, but I always chickened out."
"Why?"
"I don't know you enough to tell you," Finn grutned, "I don't even know if I know to be honest."