Gal Jii
Messages between Coach Gal Jii and his wife, Gar Yung-Hee
Gal Jii: Ryan Jae kind of had a melt down at practice today
Gar Yung-Hee: What? What happened? I find that somewhat hard to believe honestly. He's usually so sweet and calm
Gal Jii: One of the new assistants was messing around with the pitching machine and accidentally hit Ryan with a ball
Gar Yung-Hee: What? Seriously? Is he okay?
Gal Jii: He's fine according to him. Slightly bruised
Gar Yung-Hee: Did he yell at the assistant for messing around
Gal Jii: Not exactly
Gar Yung-Hee: Can you be clear in your explanation for once
Gal Jii: He freaked out at the suggestion of going to the hospital; the team doc isn't here today, he's out on vacation, so we were going to take him in
Gar Yung-Hee: Well that's okay. Lots of people are scared of hospitals
Gal Jii: That's true I guess. I just wasn't expecting Ryan Jae to be one
Gar Yung-Hee: Don't judge until you know his reasoning
Gal Jii: You're right, My Love
Gar Yung-Hee: Besides, you're afraid of the dentist. Same fear, different profession
Gal Jii: That's different
Gar Yung-Hee: And why is that?
Gal Jii: Because that bastard dentist tried to steal you away from me
Gar Yung-Hee: Honey, that was 15 years ago
Gal Jii: And I still resent him for it
Gar Yung-Hee: Don't hold silly grudges when you're the one who won out in the end, dear
Gal Jii: I will always hate him for trying to convince you to leave me
Gar Yung-Hee: Well I didn't
Gar Yung-Hee: Is Ryan Jae okay now?
Gal Jii: I think the second biggest surprise of the day was because it was Kang Il who calmed him down, honestly
Gar Yung-Hee: Kang Il? Really?
Gal Jii: Yup
Gar Yung-Hee: His work with the PR liaison must really be paying off
Gal Jii: He's definitely been getting better, less grumpy and he actually made a joke the other day
Gar Yung-Hee: Now that I find hard to believe
Gal Jii: It's true!
Gar Yung-Hee: Well I want to meet the woman who has been managing this feat. I bet she's amazing
Gal Jii: Not as amazing as you, My Love
Gar Yung-Hee: Smart man
Ryan Jae
"You're sure you're okay?" Coach Gal Jii's voice is thick and gruff as he stares at me. "I'll call a car and take you to—"
"I'm fine," my voice comes out snappier than I was originally intending, but the force in my words is the only thing keeping me from snapping completely.
"Alright, son. Rest up and take the rest of the day off. Go home."
"I'm fine; I'll stay."
"Go. Home."
Gal Jii leaves and I rest my head between my knees and let out a huff.
My hip is sore and tender, the slightest movement making me want to hiss, but I keep quiet so that he doesn't force me to go and get a check-up.
That would cause me more pain than this injury if I'm being honest.
The sound of footsteps padding towards me alerts me to Gal Jii's return.
"Coach, I'm fine. I'll go home, stop nagging me."
"Sorry to disappoint."
I look up and see Kang Il's stern face staring down at me from my seat on the floor.
"Oh, sorry Kang Il, didn't realize it was you."
"Need some help up?"
"I'm fine."
"I never would have taken you for a liar, Ryan."
Kang Il's lips twitch into a smirk and I scowl at him.
How is it he's the laughing one and I'm the moody bastard this time around? Did we have a personality switch?
"What do you want?"
"I wanted to give you this."
Kang Il bends over and hands me a crisp, black business card. I accept it, staring at the name and title in confusion.
"Licensed therapist...?" I mumble. "Why exactly are you giving me this?"
Kang Il shuffles uncomfortably and clears his throat, "He helped me overcome a lot of trauma a few years back."
"That doesn't answer my question," I force myself to my feet, the pain in my hip twinging, but I push past it and hand him the card back.
He refuses me and puts his hands around his neck as he looks around.
"I saw your reaction on the field earlier. You were having a panic attack."
"I was not."
"You were and why you were is none of my business; but I know that it can be hard to move on from certain scenarios that cause them, so I thought I'd pass along my therapist's card."
"Your therapist," I repeat. "You have a therapist?"
"Like I said, I had some trauma a few years back. My agent made me go and much to my surprise it actually helped. He could help you too."
"I don't need any help."
"Maybe not, but offering it doesn't hurt me at all."
I scoff in disbelief, "You're offering me help?"
He shrugs.
"Seems a little out of character. Did you get a personality change?"
"Let's just say an old friend reminded me of who I used to be."
"Really?"
"Really," he confirms.
"Well, thanks I guess. Don't be surprised or upset if I don't accept or trust your help."
"I get that. I haven't been the best teammate since you joined the team."
"Definitely not."
"I'm sorry for that. And I want you to know I'm sorry for how I treated you and the little league players; I was out of line and I have personally apologized to the Jones family."
"Really?"
This day just keeps getting stranger and stranger.
"Anyways, I'll leave you be. Let me know if you need any help or if you want someone to go with you to make introductions to the doc."
He nods his head and excuses himself and I stare after him, more shaken up by this interaction than I had been by the possibility of going to the hospital.
Kang Il
"Kang Il, a word please."
I sigh as Coach Gal Jii calls me over to where he and the other coaches are standing in a huddle.
"Yes?"
"Chairman Lee has requested a status update on your behavior and interactions with the team and the PR campaign Miss Tae has been working on."
The mention of Tae Men brings a smile to my face and the coaches look at me in surprise.
"I'm surprised to see a smile at the mention of a review," the newest coach Du Jii comments. "I didn't think you and the Chairman liked one another."
I shrug.
That seems to be your usual form of communication these days.
"He's my boss. Does anyone really get along with their boss?"
"Either way, he's waiting up in the Skybox for you to discuss your performance. His office has already contacted your agent and Miss Tae and they will be arriving shortly."
I try and hide the smile that comes to my face at the mention of Tae Men again, but only partially succeed.
"So that's what has your attitude changing these days, huh?" Gal Jii coughs.
"I have no idea what you mean."
"Is Kang Il blushing?"
I hear the comments and whispers coming from my teammates and for once I'm not bothered by their watchful eyes taking in my every move.
"I'll head up then."
I leave the locker room and start walking up to the sky boxes on the top level of the stadium. I knock on the closed doors and am escorted in by a thin secretary.
"Thank you."
Chairman Lee sits casually on an over-stuffed arm chair and sips on a glass of liquor.
"Chairman Lee," I nod my head respectfully and look around the room.
"Looking for Pan Young?"
I nod, hiding my disappointment that Tae Men is absent.
"He will be here momentarily."
I nod again.
"I've been keeping an eye on your progress with the team the last few weeks since the most recent incidents. I have to say I'm surprised about this whole situation."
He stares me down and sets his glass down on the table, leaning forward and clasping his hands, he eyes me. "What have I done wrong this time?" I sigh.
"That's what's intriguing."
My eyebrows raise as the Chairman suddenly smirks, "You haven't disappointed me this time around. You've received high praise from everyone I've asked, I even heard a whisper about you and Ryan Jae cooperating together on the field and off. Is that true?"
"I'm just trying to listen and follow directions."
"Miss Tae reported that you've been cooperating with her better than she was expecting. She's even recommended you participate in the end-season press conference if you can finish up more press training by then."
"Press training? Like the media training you have us do?"
"Yes. The entire team will undergo a new series of training based on a program Ca Jin-Ho recommended."
I keep the sneer off my face at the mention of our rival and Tae Men's ex-boyfriend.
"Ca Jin-Ho? I don't understand."
"He's a former athlete of mine and was the one who recommended Miss Tae."
My eyebrows scrunch, "I thought it was because of Gal Jii's wife that we hired her."
Chairman Lee shakes his head and shrugs, "I'm not sure of the full story, but I know Ca Jin-Ho is the one who recommended Miss Tae. Seemed like a good idea since she transformed him from his pain in the ass self into the man he is today. Seems like she has a knack for that."
"What?"
"Part of the reason you're here and not off of my team is because I've seen what press training can do. Way back when Ca Jin-Ho was a newbie, he also underwent press training. When Gal Jii was asking for recommendations to do the same for you, your last chance per say, he asked for Ca Jin-Ho's input. Obviously he was deeply impacted by the last time we tested this. Ca Jin-Ho supplied Miss Tae's name."
My heart thumps in my chest as the new information accrues and taunts me.
Ca Jin-Ho recommended Tae Men help me? What, why? She helped him too? Did she know she would be helping me before I knew? What does this all mean?
"I-I—"
"For right now, you are officially off probation. If you keep up the good work and stay out of trouble and keep building good will with the community, we're willing to renegotiate your contract at the end of the season which is why I have invited Pan Young here to join us."
A knock comes at the door, my agent apparently waiting for his cue.
***
I was in a daze for the rest of the meeting as I tried to figure out the connection between Ca Jin-Ho and I's relationships with Tae Men. Pan Young and I were walking out to his car when I finally saw Tae Men for the first time.
She and Bu Seok were sitting on a bench reviewing documents of some sort and chatting. Pan Young goes to say hi to the pair, but I hold him back and shake my head, staring at the beauty sitting on the bench.
Tae Men had long ago lost the pigtails and braces, her thick black glasses had been exchanged for contacts, and her skinny figure had evolved into the shapely form of an elegant young woman. She uses a pen to point out a couple of notes on the papers Bu Seok is explaining to her and I observe their conversation quietly.
"Pan Young and Kang Il are treating you to dinner on behalf of the Chairman?" Bu Seok confirms.
She nods, not looking up from the papers.
"That's right."
"I'm sure they're just as surprised as I am at how much you've accomplished in such a short amount of time. You've completely transformed his image. He even has more followers than I do on social!" Bu Seok jokes.
"I didn't do anything other than lead a horse to water," Tae Men laughs. "He was capable of presenting himself well, he just needed a reason to do so."
"Do you think you can do the same for our studio? We need a solid PR person for any future emergencies. Keep you on retainer?"
"Me? Work for a studio? Never have, never will." Tae Men laughs at Bu Seok's suggestion and suddenly one of our first conversations comes to mind.
"Tae Men apparently worked for the studio and his wife in some regard."
"Are you certain?"
"That's what she said."
"Huh, I didn't know that. Must've been for a different show then."
I shake the memory from my mind and watch the pair continue to converse.
"Why work for the stadium and not the studio?"
"I like to work one on one with my clients which is why I opened my agency and specifically focus on short-term individual contracts."
"Ahh, and Kang Il's duck dilemma delivered himself to you."
"You could say that," Tae Men mutters. She leaves through the papers and grabs one, handing it to Bu Seok.
"This one. This part of the story makes no sense," Tae Men points something out on the paper. "If he truly loved the female lead, he wouldn't do this."
Bu Seok pops his neck and with his movements, he finally notices Pan Young and I staring at them. He tilts his head to Tae Men and begins to open his mouth, but I shake my head.
"Sometime love doesn't make sense, you know?"
Tae Men chuckles, "You're telling me."
"What doesn't make sense in your love life then?"
I watch as she freezes at Bu Seok's question.
"My love life?" She repeats. "I don't have a love life."
"What about Ca Jin-Ho? I would consider him a part of your love life."
Bu Seok, what are you doing?
Tae Men chuckles awkwardly, "That's part of my past. We wouldn't work; he's too far away and I guess—."
"I heard he's been offered a position here if he wants it."
"I know."
Her acknowledgement of the news surprises me and Pan Young also looks shocked at the sentiment.
"Will he accept it?"
"He said he would if I wanted him to."
She says the words so casually as though they're insignificant and I feel my heart pound in my chest, "Anyways, we wouldn't work. I'm not—he knows, I—there's too much history there."
You and I have a lot more history than you and Ca Jin-Ho, does that mean we wouldn't work either?
"Why are you so curious about my love life, anyways?"
"Inspiration."
"I thought you were using baseball players as your inspiration. Like Kang Il?"
The moment my name drops from her lips, I let out a smile.
Where will this conversation lead now?
"It seems like you and Kang Il are involved together, makes sense to know about you," Bu Seok shrugs and I am grateful that he's as nosy as he is and willing to ask these questions on my behalf.
Maybe he's not as much of a nuisance as I originally thought.
"Kang Il and I—we're just friends."
Bu Seok winces at the word, but I am simply happy she doesn't refer to me as her client.
Progress from clients to friends is enough progress for me right now.
"You've never thought about him as more than that?"
Bu Seok, I love you.
Tae Men is quiet.
"I used to," she admits. "When I was younger I thought about him in a lot of different ways."
"What changed?"
Tae Men reaches up and tucks her hair behind her ears before looking down at the papers in her hands and handing them to Bu Seok. She stands and slings her purse over her shoulder.
"I should go and look for my lunch companions."
"Tae Men, one more question for you."
She sighs, "I don't think there's anything else for us to talk about."
"It's not about your past or present feelings for him if that convinces you to humor me one more time."
"What is it?"
"Your brother, Tae Min-Ki, said something interesting to me a while back."
"About what?"
"He said that you avoid the stadium these days. Except when Ca Jin-Ho comes to play. Why is that?"
She sucks on her lips as she thinks, "I think—it was the last time I ever felt...abandoned. I hate feeling that way so I stopped coming here because it reminded me of that feeling."
"And you don't feel that way when Ca Jin-Ho comes here?"
She laughs, "You'd have to ask him about that. He and I made a deal about watching him play a long time ago."
"A deal?"
She snorts, covering her hand with her mouth, "I'll come to his games in Seoul, he brings me flowers, if either of us forgets or cancels on each other, there's consequences."
"Consequences?"
She laughs, "It was a silly bet we made back when we were dating. The consequences are nothing too special. A little crazy maybe."
"What are they?"
"He loses, he buys me dinner; I lose, I owe him a kiss at a moment of his choosing."
Red grows in my eyes at the notion and Bu Seok's eyes widen as he looks over her shoulder and at my rapidly reddening face.
"A kiss?" He repeats.
"Yes."
"Even though you're not together?"
"Like I said, a little crazy."
I clench my fists and my jaw pops at Tae Men's casual attitude.
"So if you don't come to games when he's here—"
Before Bu Seok can repeat the offensive words, I storm forward and grab Tae Men's arm.
"Whoa!"
I pull her along with me, down the halls of the stadium, past employees and coworkers, until we make our way to the field. Tae Men is stammering protests to me as I tug her along, but my grip stays firm until I pull her to first base and stand her on the base, holding her shoulders. She looks around, her eyes wild, as she gapes at me.
"Kang Il—"
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"No, what—"
"When it comes to this space, to you being here in the stadium, when we are alone, that's when you should call me by my name. By the name only you are allowed to call me."
"What? Why?"
She looks around and sees that there is no one around as she surveys the empty field and empty seats. Her eyes lock on the stadium seats and I follow her gaze to the empty rows of seats. A hard look touches her eyes and I take in a deep breath.
"What are you looking at?"
"It's nothing."
"Do you know why I don't join the team huddles after games?" I ask.
She looks back to me and stares at me, shaking her head.
"There was a moment, during the first game I played in this stadium, when I thought I had everything I ever wanted. I had finally met my dream and made it come true. That first game, I was thinking of you. I had this crazy dream during warmups that you were screaming my name, cheering for me, yelling my name, 'Car Taeyang!' It's a dream that has followed me to every win, every loss, every up and down I have faced in my career. Over the years, my dream has grown.
"It's no longer just you cheering me on, but your family as well, it's my biological parents, the nuns who watched over me after the accident, it's everyone who has ever shown me an ounce of love, support, or care. But most importantly, you stand out in the front. Because more than anything in this world, I care about you."
Tears have welled in both our eyes while we stare at one another, and I wipe a stray tear from her face.
"I always wondered if you were proud of me or not," I whisper, wiping another tear from her soft face.
"It wasn't a dream," she says softly.
"What?"
"It wasn't a dream." She repeats. "I was here. I was screaming your name. It was real."
I follow her movements as she turns and points back at the stands, "That's where I was sitting 6 years ago."
Now it's my turn to be confused, the vagueness of her words sitting with me.
"6 years ago?"
She nods, "That's where I was sitting for the home opener of your rookie year. Right there."
She points at the seats and swallows, "That was the first time I had realized you had left Car Taeyang behind and transformed into Kang Il."
The last game she would have attended was the Season Opener of your Rookie year for Tae Moon's birthday...
Tae Min-ki's words ring through my head and I swallow as the realization hits me that she was here for my first game as a professional player. Something I had been dreaming about since even before I had met her back in grade school.
"Tae Men—"
"I was here and I was screaming your name, Car Taeyang." She affirms.
A tear rolls down my own face and her small, cold hands wipe it away, feeling like fresh dew as her hand touches my hot skin.
"Tae Men, I need you to know—"
"I know."
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do. I missed you too."
She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. The wetness of her tears bleeds into my chest as I wrap my arms around her and then say the words I had been feeling for almost 20 years.
"I love you, Tae Men."