Eren's pov:
Flashback: 6 days ago, Sasha's party.
They're going to separate me from her again.
Eren couldn't stop looking at the plastic cup. If someone had entered in the bathroom at that moment, they would have seen someone totally paralyzed and scared.
He couldn't believe it: They had found him again. They managed to find Eren after four years.
Colt. That was the first person that crossed his mind. It had to be him, who else would talk about him to those people?
But Colt supposedly wasn't part anymore of that group and, honestly, Eren believed him. Maybe that had been a wrong idea.
The thing was that who had said something didn't matter now, because they had found him. That was the important part of all of this.
Eren opened the tap and put some water on his face. He felt like he was going to throw up.
What scared him the most wasn't what they could do to him, but to you. The plastic cup had written 'We should talk about y/n, right?'. Somehow, that group knew there was a thing going on between you two, and they knew that Eren would do anything in order to protect you.
But how did they know that?
Maybe they guessed that my feelings have not changed since I moved from Marley four and a half years ago.
That's why they're so mad; because they said those feelings needed to disappear.
The first thing he did when he left the bathroom was looking for you. He opened the door to Sasha's room, and he saw you sleeping peacefully next to her.
Eren went downstairs, noticing that the party had finished and that there was no one else besides his friends. Mikasa was sleeping on the couch, and Marco was next to her looking at his phone.
"Hey, I haven't seen you since hours" Marco pointed out, "Where have you been?".
"I fell asleep inside of the bathtub and I just woke up" Eren answered, "By the way, have you seen someone enter in the bathroom from upstairs since a few hours?".
The boy shook his head, "I haven't paid a lot of attention, though. But there has been a lot of people I don't know here, you know? People that are not from Paradis".
"What people?" the brunette asked, trying to find answers. He needed to know if all of this was a joke or if he really had to do something.
Marco noticed that there was something wrong going on, "Are you okay, Eren? You're really pale right now".
Eren sighed, "Yeah, I'm just really tired. My head won't stop hurting".
He decided it was a good idea to go outside and feel the coldness of that night. He left the house through the back door that led to a backyard.
No one was there and it was really dark because there were no artificial lights. That let Eren think better about this situation.
Somehow, that friend group from Marley had found him again. Pieck, Porco, Gabi, Falco... He didn't forget his names.
That same people that had put him through hell and worse for no reason, the reason why he changed schools and moved to a whole new town.
That same reason made you move to that same town, Paradis, but you had forgotten about everything. What you had lived had disappeared from your mind, even Eren's existence.
He would never forget that day he saw you for the first time at Paradis school, and you didn't recognize him. He literally felt how his heart broke.
But he couldn't blame you; he had moved to Paradis without telling you. He had left you alone, knowing the consequences.
He had promised that friend group to break any kind of contact with you, but seven months later you were in the same school as him. He then had to act like he hated you for three years.
Until he couldn't keep acting because inevitably you still made him as happy as you had done four years ago. For these past three months, he knew the possible consequences of falling in love with you, he knew that what was happening right now could happen.
But he just didn't want to believe it. All of this was so perfect: living with you, having the opportunity to be with you every day like he used to have back in Marley. Until this day.
Somehow, Porco, one of the most evil people Eren had ever met, had been at that party. He knew about what was going between Eren and you. And obviously, he and his friends wanted to ruin it, just like everything.
Eren didn't know what to do. He had promised himself to forget about this dark part of his life, and that was one of the reasons why he didn't want to remind you about your past. Because he wanted to finally be happy, and he wanted to see you happy too.
However, he also knew what these people were capable of. He knew they could do anything in order to ruin your lives, just like they had done years ago.
Honestly, Eren would do anything to protect you. Anything, even if that meant that you two couldn't be together. Even if that meant breaking your heart.
He sighed and looked at the moon. Its light reminded him of your eyes, and what he was afraid of the most was that this light would disappear.
The most frustrating thing for him was that he was realizing that he was in love with you now, when there was a very good chance that he could never tell you.
I'm really tired. I should go to sleep and think about when I wake up in a few hours.
He entered in the house again and went upstairs. The only bedroom he could sleep in was the one where Bertholdt was sleeping.
Even though he was tired, he felt asleep half an hour later, still thinking about how all of this was going to turn out.
❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。
Eren woke up just a couple hours later. It was almost 9am, and he heard a shower on. It wasn't the one from the bathroom he had slept before, so it only could be from Sasha's bathroom, where he saw a couple hours ago you were sleeping. He believed firmly that Sasha was still sleeping, so he guessed you were the one taking the shower.
The first thing that crossed his mind was Marley. He felt that anxiety was slowly consuming him.
He couldn't think of a solution here, knowing that you were basically next to him. He needed to go to the apartment to think clearly.
When you went downstairs, he opened the door and heard you talking with Marco. You were picking up the trash, and he waited for you to come out of Sasha's house so he could leave.
When Eren heard the back door opening, he went downstairs as far as he could and left the house. He entered in his car and went to the apartment.
During de car ride, he felt like he was going to die. He wanted to cry, to hit something. It was so frustrating that he could literally feel his head pounding.
Before he could open the apartment's door you called him, and hearing your voice was the most heartbreaking thing in the world. How many days would he have to hear it?
Eren took a shower in order to try to relax, which didn't work how he expected. He then sat on his bed, contemplating the ceiling.
He tried to be optimistic, but he knew deep down the reality. If that friend group from Marley had reached out to him something pretty bad was going on. This was a thing that could had been planned for weeks.
Tears fell from his eyes. He could only think about you and your happiness.
Because he was still that young boy that only wanted to protect you, no matter the place or the circumstances. That's why he didn't try to contact with you when he moved from Marley. That's why he acted like he hated you for all these years.
But now... That would be much more difficult. You still lived in that lie your brain had created and that Eren helped to create.
He already could picture your face when he'd tell you whatever they forced him to. The confusion because you couldn't remember anything.
Now Eren really understood why you were so frustrated when you couldn't remember what had happened when you were in Marley. At first, he wished that had happened to him, so all that suffering would disappear.
But when he saw your pain because you couldn't remember who you really were, he thanked that he remembered what he had went through.
All of this time, when he hid you that he was the one that had written those letters, that he was that stranger and the only real friend you had by that time... He couldn't understand how you couldn't see it. It is so obvious.
But for me it was also obvious that I didn't hate her all of these years and, still, she believed me.
I'll do anything, I swear. But I can't let her think I hate her for the second time. I can't lie anymore.
Suddenly, he heard you opening the apartment's door. He quickly turned the lights off and acted like he was asleep. He couldn't look at you now, because he knew that he would break down in tears.
A minute later, you slowly opened his room's door. Even though Eren's eyes were mostly closed, he could see your silhouette at the door.
After you closed the door, he felt like sleep was taking over his body. It seemed like your mere presence had calmed him.
An hour later, he woke up. Eren couldn't hear anything, and the anxiety that this whole situation was creating inside of him made him think that you were not in the apartment. He jumped out of the bed and got out of his room.
He saw you in the balcony, but you were asleep. He came back to his room and put a blanket over you, as it was raining a little bit and he didn't want you to get a cold.
Eren sat next to you, admiring your face. Tears came to his eyes, but he stopped them from falling, just in case you were going to wake up in that moment.
All of this was going to be so hard. Just by thinking of you suffering because of him made his heart shatter into a thousand of pieces.
He drank what was left of your coffee inside of the cup.
Half an hour later, you woke up. You two talked for a bit, but Eren couldn't stop looking at you. Now that he knew he was going to pontetially lose you he saw you more beautiful than ever before. He was appreciating even more than before who was next to him.
Suddenly, Eren remembered the Christmas decoration. It felt like a knife had been plunged into his chest. He knew how excited you were because you two were going to decorate the apartment.
As the minutes passed, he was more convinced that this wasn't actually going to happen.
"Do you know when the Christmas decoration is coming?" he asked. You shook your head, "The app said it'll be here in two weeks. I hope it comes sooner. Why do you ask that?".
Eren shrugged "I just want us to decorate the house. You have given me the Christmas spirit".
You laughed, "I knew you would be excited, but we'll have to wait. We have a lot of time, though; Christmas Eve is exactly in three weeks".
He took a deep breath and made a nostalgic smile, "Yeah, only 21 days".
❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。
The next day, Eren woke up with a knot in his stomach. He had slept really bad this past night, trying to think about something that could solve all of this.
It didn't work, obviously.
He got dressed for school. While doing that, he thought today was a good day to go to Marley and talk with these people. You had Poetry Club, so you wouldn't suspect anything.
However, he had work today, but it didn't matter. He could say that he was sick or whatever.
Before you two left for school, you gave him his apron, which he had forgotten because had had internalized he was going to talk with this group. He stopped breathing for a second. I almost forgot that she doesn't know I'm going to Marley.
During school time, he couldn't stop thinking about you. He wanted to cry every time he did it.
Eren knew that, somehow, he was going to destroy you. He had to, otherwise you wouldn't hate him. But that's something that this friend group probably had planned already.
He wanted to see you happy next to him at least one more time. Between classes, he went to the bathroom and found you leaving the girls' bathroom.
"Hey" he said, "I have a proposal for you". You smiled, "Are you going to ask me to marry you?".
A wave of sadness hit Eren. I don't think that's ever going to happen. "We'll have to wait for that. I was going to ask you if you want us to eat together today. I found the perfect spot outside".
You smiled, "Of course! What place did you find?".
"You know the soccer field's bleachers? Behind that there is a kind of lawn that nobody ever goes to" Eren explained. You nodded, "Perfect. I'll see you there, then".
After History class, Eren went behind the soccer fields' bleachers. Five minutes later, and wondering where you could be, he felt water on his body. He turned around and saw you with an umbrella on your hand, "What the fuck was that?".
"You could have waited for me, I had to steal an umbrella" you complained. "I had to make sure no one would steal us this spot" he defended himself.
You sat next to him. While you were admiring the views, he was admiring you. Your face was so delicate that he believed that if he touched it, it would break.
Now that he knew how the future would mostly look like, you seemed untouchable to him. He didn't want to do anything to you. He didn't want to hurt you. But that was impossible.
Eren picked some daisies from the grass and made a small bouquet, "This is for you". You took it and smiled, "Thank you. I love daisies". You put them as a brooch on your sweater.
The boy closed his eyes for a second. He just wanted to enjoy this moment and find peace for just some minutes.
He then opened his eyes and saw that you were looking at him. He smirked, "Good views?". Heat rushed to your cheeks, "Not really. I was just...", but you couldn't come up with anything else.
This made Eren laugh. It was a genuine, energetic laugh, and for a moment he forgot about everything.
He saw you laughing too, and he got lost in that sound. He wanted to get as much as possible from it. Seeing your laugh was the most beautiful thing in the world.
"Now you're the one who won't stop looking at me" you said. Eren brushed a lock of hair from your face, "You would too if you were me".
"Does it count if I'm looking at the mirror all the time?" you asked. He rolled his eyes sarcastically, "I'm gonna have to stop telling you that, it's gone to your head a lot".
You laughed, "I'm kidding. You know I love when you say that to me".
Eren wrapped his arm around your waist. He took your hand and your fingers intertwined. He stared at your hand for a few minutes without saying anything.
"You like my rings?" you questioned, trying to find a reason to why he was doing that. "Yeah, they're cool" he answered while still looking at them.
I want to stay like this forever.
You touched his nose affectively. He smiled, "What was that?".
"I don't know, I just wanted to do it" you answered, "It was a bit weird, honestly".
"Nah, I liked it" Eren said. He then kissed you softly in the lips just a few seconds. Your face turned red.
"It's been three weeks and you're still blushing" Eren laughed. That made your face even redder, "I know, I can't control it".
The boy looked at the hour, "Shit. Next class begins in five minutes".
Both of you got up. "After school I have Poetry club with Mr. Smith. What are you going to do this afternoon?" you questioned while walking towards school.
Eren tensed up a bit, "Just work, I guess. I have to make up the hours from last week, so I'm scared to think how long I have to stay these days".
"Understandable. If that's the case, I can make dinner for us today" you proposed. He smiled, "Really? You're the best".
❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。
After classes finished, Eren quickly left school. He didn't want Floch to see him and ask him where he was going, because it definitely wasn't to work.
Eren took the bus that led to the train station. He looked through the window and wondered what was going to happen now.
All of these years had been so calm but, at the same time, he knew something was missing. And that was you.
He remembered perfectly the day he left Marley. He wanted to tell you, but then, that friend group gave him a last threat. He had to stop talking with you. Zero contact, or else they'd do something to you.
And even though you were part of that group, Eren couldn't help but worry about you, because you were the only friend he had.
Just a friend, right? He was too young at that time for anything else.
So, everything that had been built for all those months four years ago disappeared. Your conversations, the secret letters... Everything.
Until you appeared at the same school in Paradis, a few months later. Just when Eren's parents had died. It was the lowest point in his life, and it looked like you appeared there just to calm here.
The thing is, you couldn't do it, because he had to act like he hated you, when in reality, it wasn't. The frustration that consumed his body because he couldn't be your friends destroyed him for a lot of time.
Until he couldn't keep acting anymore, three months ago. He couldn't pretend he didn't like your voice, your laugh, your smile. He tried it, really, but it was impossible. You were again the only person that could make him really happy. You had that power.
You brought him back to life since his parents had died. You showed him what peace truly was.
But now, they had found out about all of this, and they knew what was Eren's weak point: you.
They wanted to hurt Eren, and they knew that separating you two would break him.
Eren took the train and an hour later he arrived at Marley. He hadn't talked to those people, but he guessed that they'd be at school.
Stepping on that place again was a nightmare for him. His heart was beating very fast and his arms began to shake as he remembered everything.
He would never forget about it, unlike you. Those memories were stuck, and they would never leave. No matter how much he left that place, fear and humiliation would always be a part of him.
He remembered perfectly how to go to that school. Marley was a quiet city, not much was happening on the outside.
When he arrived at the school, he saw them outside. They were sitting on the lunch wood tables.
They were exactly as Eren remembered them, just a bit older, obviously. Pieck had those same sad eyes, and she still had that long black hair.
Porco's features had sharpened, and he still had that evil look in his eyes. Same thing happened with his brother Marcel, but he looked like he was a better person. In reality, Eren couldn't tell who was worst.
Gabi still had that childish face, but she had grown a lot. She looked calmer, though, because no one could stop her when she was younger.
Finally, Falco had the same angelic face. Eren had always thought he was the best out of all of them, but if he was still with them, it was because he was exactly the same as those people.
The first one to realize that Eren was there was Gabi. She gasped, "No fucking way. You actually came?".
Everyone else turned around. Pieck widened her eyes, and she couldn't believe who was in front of her. "You... changed" she whispered.
Porco smirked, "I knew you'd come. Years pass, and I still know that you like her".
"Too much, I'd say" Marcel added. Falco nodded, "Yeah, that's why he's here, right? I don't think he'll ever come if it wasn't because of y/n".
"What are you going to do her?" Eren asked. Porco laughed, "Relax! We just wanted to talk with you about something that happened recently. Sit down".
"No, thanks" Eren said. Porco rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Who starts?".
"Your brother wants to report us" Pieck announced. The brunette frowned, "What?".
"Yeah, I said the same. Your shitty brother now wants to be the hero of this story, when he did nothing these previous years" Gabi explained, "Somehow, he found out about what we did to you and to other people and wants to report us".
"How does he know that?" Eren asked. "You and y/n told him" Falco answered, "Y/n came here on Thursday, and he talked with us on Friday. That's why Porco went to that party at Paradis two days ago".
Eren couldn't believe this. He knew you had talked with Zeke, but what he'd never would imagine was that his brother would do something in order to solve all of this.
Is he going to do something good in any point of his life? He sighed, "What did he tell you?".
"That he's not letting us get away with it and that he's going to take serious actions if we don't stop" Pieck responded, "He tries to be the hero that he couldn't be for his brother years ago".
"That's what all of you deserve, though" Eren commented, "Or is it fair that you guys can get away with it? Bullying people for God knows how long? Ruining kids' lives? You made me move to another city, and I can't imagine what would have happened if I stayed here".
Porco laughed, "You know that when you say 'all of you' you're talking about y/n as well, right? She bullied you too, if I remember right".
"You know it's not the fucking same, so stop with that bullshit" Eren said, "You guys wouldn't leave her, she did it just so she wouldn't be bullied by y'all. But she was my friend".
Marcel smiled, "What a shame that she was part of all of this at some point, because she has the same fault as us".
Eren shook his head, "You're trying to convince me, but you're not going to do it. I know y/n, and I know you too. I know how all of this works, you try to convince people that they're a piece of shit too, just like all of you, but you have no idea how y/n is like".
"Oh, we know" Gabi assured, "A lovely person, right? I might even say that you love her. Colt told us".
"Yeah, I knew that too. It was really easy to find out he was Falco's brother, you know? But he doesn't work for you anymore" Eren said. Falco nodded, "Yeah, he doesn't. He preferred to stay with 'those' people".
Eren rolled his eyes, "Those people? You have no idea how they are. Paradis is the best thing that could ever happen to anyone. It's the place where you can have a fresh start and forget about shitty people like you".
"Oh, can you really say that?" Porco laughed, "Because every day that you spend there, you see y/n. One of the people who, like it or not, bullied you. How can you have a fresh start when the person you tried to forget the most appeared at your school a few months later you moved from Marley?".
Eren went quiet. He knew talking with them was useless; they had a goal and that was the only thing on their mind.
"What do you want to talk about?" he finally asked. Pieck smiled, "You were taking time to ask that question. We want you to convince your brother to not report us".
Eren frowned, "Report you to who?". Gabi rolled her eyes, "He wants to talk with universities that we are interested in and tell them what we did so they won't accept us. Next year we begin college, and we're already deciding where we want to go".
"That's not my problem" the brunette said, "I won't say anything to my brother. It's his decision, not mine. I don't care what you guys do to me anymore".
"But you care about y/n, right?" Porco questioned. Eren's heart skipped a beat, "Don't even think about bringing her into this".
"Oh, I'm really thinking about it" he smiled deviously, "Because I know that's the only way for you to do what we want. I know you don't care about yourself, but you love her".
"What do I have to do?" Eren asked without thinking for more than two seconds. Pieck laughed, "Oh, I thought Porco and Gabi were exaggerating when they said you loved her, but it's true. You do love her. You still do, after all these years".
I never stopped doing it.
"What do I have to do?" he repeated. Marcel smiled, "What my brother just said: You have to convince your brother to not report us to universities. Because, if you don't stop him, y/n will have the same fate. Or even worse".
Eren began to tremble, "What do you mean by 'even worse' exactly?".
"I mean that we'll make sure that y/n won't be able to do anything with her life after high school" Marcel explained, "No university will accept her. If your brother reports us, we'll talk about her too".
Eren nodded, "I'll do it then. I'll convince Zeke, but you have to promise me nothing will happen to her".
"That's what I wanted to hear" Porco formed a satisfied smile, "So, I guess there's nothing else to talk...".
I don't believe him. "Ok. I'll go then" Eren said. He turned around and began to walk.
Just before he could cross the street, he heard something. "Wait, I just realized something" Pieck said.
Eren turned around to face her, "What?".
"Why are you dating y/n?" she asked, "I thought you made a promise when you moved from here. You promised us that you would never speak to her. What happened to that?".
"I did it for years, you know? I had to act like I hated her" Eren explained, "And she had no idea why, because she can't remember anything, thanks to all of you".
Gabi laughed, "What the fuck? It's not that deep, how the fuck did she forget about it? Even you? How does that feel, Eren?".
He rolled his eyes, "What I'm saying is that I think all of this is enough. You guys had what you wanted for years. Leave us alone for once in your lives".
"You know that's not going to happen" Porco intervened, "When we said you had to have zero contact with her, we meant forever".
Eren's breathing went faster. He prayed that forever didn't actually mean forever.
He couldn't live without you. He couldn't keep acting and hate you for God knew how long.
"Stop talking to her, or there will be consequences" Porco ordered, "And you know what we're capable of".
Eren felt like he was going to cry, "You know I can't do that, not now that I stopped pretending that I hated her. She won't believe that I hate her again, she just won't".
"Then, you'll have to say something that'll make her know you hate her" Pieck added, "Or say something that'll make her hate you".
His eyes were wet from the tears, "Why do you always have to fuck up my life?".
None of them said anything. Eren nodded, "What'd happen if I don't do it?".
"That y/n will then have a reason to forget about everything" Marcel answered, "We'll make sure that being next to you will be the worst decision of her life. And you know we mean it, Eren".
His world had been shattered in a matter of minutes. He couldn't imagine a live without you.
Just by thinking of your face when he had to pretend he hated you broke his heart. But what could he say? Because revealing the truth about a past that you had forgotten was not an option for him.
The best idea was to tell you that he didn't stop hating you these months and all of this was something he did because he was bored.
"I live with her" Eren said, in desperation for them to change of mind. Porco shrugged "Now you don't".
The brunette took a deep breath, "All of you are a piece of shit. The only thing y'all are good at is making people feel like they're nothing, but you're only reflecting what you feel about yourselves. You ruined my life two times, and I still don't know the reasons. But I won't let you ruin hers, get it?".
Pieck smiled, "It's a shame that you two are not compatible, really. But she can't be happy if you stay with her in long term".
Eren looked down, "I guess you're right. I... I won't talk to her anymore. I'll make her hate me, if it's needed".
"Thank you, Eren" Gabi said, "I'm sure that, even though you don't believe it right now, y/n's life will be better".
He didn't say anything, and he didn't wait for the others to say anything else. He started walking towards the train station without looking back.
Until he stopped and realized what had just happened. His heart began to beat very quickly, and he felt like he was short of breath.
He was going to lose you again. And you will have no idea why, just like the first time.
Eren gasped. Will she forget me again?
What can I say so she would hate me? Tell her the truth about us and her past will definitely impact her, but I can't say that.
If she somehow finds out that I was one of the kids she used to bully, that I was the one who wrote those letters and didn't say anything to her, she would never forgive me.
But I don't want her to keep thinking about Marley. Y/n can't keep suffering about all of this, and revealing all of this to her will leave her devastated.
I'll just say that I still hate her, and I was just acting because I was bored. I'll have to move from the apartment.
He'd have to move from what felt like home, something that no place had felt since his parents had died.
He'd have to say goodbye to all the memories with you. You were the one who wanted to remember the bad things lived, and he wanted to forget about the good moments just so he wouldn't suffer.
No one was in the train. The silence was really scary to Eren, but in reality, what scared him was the silence he would hear for the next few weeks until no one knew when.
He couldn't help but cry. His heart hurt a lot. It was frustrating that he realized how much he loved you when he was about to lose you.
What Porco said was true: Eren had never had a fresh start, you had always been there. Since you moved to Paradis, he got reminded of everything you two could be, but couldn't, because he was protecting you.
He couldn't have a fresh start in order for you to have it. If you remembered what happened in Marley, you'd never forgive yourself.
He was stuck in the past so you could look at the future and never turn around.
❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。
Two days later.
When Eren told you that he was moving, he felt like a part of him had died. Your face when you heard it was the most soul crushing thing that he had ever seen.
"So, you're saying you don't want to live with me? You're trying to make me believe that you don't like me anymore after all of what happened?" you questioned, catching your break, "After being together for almost a month?".
Now. Say it now. Eren chuckled, "Together? Y/n, you and I have never been together".
He saw the surprise and disappointment in your eyes. You pushed him unconsciously, but he would have done it too.
"What is your fucking problem?!" you felt your tears coming out from your eyes, "Why are you saying all of this?!".
She's mad. That's what I wanted. Keep acting.
"Because it's the fucking truth!" he yelled, "We have never been together. God, I just did it because I was bored here living with you!".
How am I even capable of saying all of this lies?
He knew your heart was breaking, and he wanted to stop so badly. You cried, "Because you were bored?".
Eren rolled his eyes, "Yeah, y/n. That's what happens when you live with someone and you're with them all the time; you get bored".
"So, you used me?" you asked.
I'd never do that. He nodded, "Kind of".
He knew well who this was, the same Eren of previous years. But now it was even harder to say all of this.
"How could you do that? I liked you" you confessed, "I still do".
And I do it too. That's exactly why I'm doing all of this.
"Sorry about that" he said flatly. You wiped away your tears "Eren, please, tell me this isn't real. You have to be lying. How many conversations we had? What about the first time we kissed? And what you told me just before that? Fuck, what about FOUR days ago at Sasha's house in the roof?".
Eren didn't say anything. He would have done anything to go back to four days ago.
You looked at the ground, "What about all the times you helped me. When I talked to you about Marley and...".
That's what hurts her the most: Marley. I need to say something, she HAS to hate me.
"See? That's what I fucking hate about you" he said, "You're always complaining about the past. You can't let it go. I can't live with someone that is crying all the time about something that happened years ago. You act like a fucking kid".
You approached him and forced him to look at you, "You'll never understand how bad I had. Never. I know that there is something behind all this and that you are trying to hurt me, but don't even think of going there".
She knows me well; she knows there's something that I'm hiding.
"There's nothing behind all of this. I'm just saying the truth" his dull look penetrated in your eyes.
Tears were coming out of your eyes non-stop "You... you don't understand how bad it was. How bad this is".
I truly know how bad it was.
"Yeah, I understood it the first time you told me about it" Eren said, "I'm sick of having to comfort you every time you bring it up".
"And why didn't you tell me, Eren?" you asked yelling, "Why didn't you tell me you had planned for months on moving? Why didn't you tell me everything about us was a lie? Or even better, why didn't you fucking tell me you hated me all of this time just like you did before you moved here?".
You took a deep breath, "Can you really look at me and say that what you think about has never changed?".
Eren looked at you, and he was beginning to not feel nothing. That scared him, because he didn't want to feel like he had felt for all these years. But things were changing now.
"What I think about you has never changed. My thoughts about you are the same since I can remember" he said.
He was not lying, though. His thoughts about you never had changed, because he had always loved you.
You were absolutely heartbroken. Your eyes showed the betrayal and the disappointment.
Eren got what he wanted.
You sighed, "You better go, Eren. Take a walk and we'll talk later".
He looked at you one last time with that dull look he couldn't control. He turned around and left the apartment. There was only one place to go.
When he got into his car, the first thing he saw was the photo that was in the mirror. You were both smiling and happy.
Eren put his head on the steering wheel, trying to calm down and not break anything in the car. He looked up Zeke's address on his phone and started driving.
He was feeling absolutely nothing, something that really scared him. Nothing could make him feel worse than what just had happened.
But you'd be happier, he just knew it. Because every time you two found each other, months later you separated abruptly, with no explanations, and he was tired of that.
When he arrived at Zeke's house, it was almost 11pm. It was a bad time, but Eren had nowhere else to go. He knocked on the door and a few seconds later his brother was in front of him.
"Eren? What are you doing here?" Zeke asked, "I have to work tomorrow, you know?".
Eren didn't say anything, and Zeke realized something bad had happened. "Come inside" he said.
The house looked the same as the last time Eren came, a few weeks ago. It still had its usual smell of coffee and cigarettes.
The boy sat on the couch, and his brother sat next to him. "What did you say to them?" Eren asked.
Zeke frowned, "What are you talking about? Who's them?".
"That group from Marley: Porco, Pieck, Gabi, Colt and Marcel" Eren explained, "You obviously said something to them, because now everything's ruined, I won't ever talk to y/n and...".
"Hey, calm down" Zeke interrupted him. "Yes, I told them something. I said that there would be consequences because of their acts. This has nothing to do with you".
"Yes, it has! Because they're not normal people, Zeke!" Eren yelled, "They want to ruin my life now! Well, they already did it. Thanks to you and your need to be the hero now".
His brother frowned again, "What are you trying to tell me?". The brunette rolled his eyes, "You know damn well. You never did anything for me when I was being bullied by them years ago, but now that I can live without you and I don't need you, you try to gain me back".
"When I was in Marley, you saw what was happening every day in front of your eyes, and still, you didn't do anything for me" he continued, "You were a teacher, you were my brother! You saw me suffering, but you didn't want to lose your job because you knew they weren't gonna believe us".
He tried to calm himself, "You also saw y/n, you saw how both of us moved from this shitty city, and still, you never asked me how I felt. And now, I tell you that I'm trying to live a normal life with y/n, forget about everything, and the best idea you have is to threaten them that you're going to report them to some fucking universities?!".
"I tried to do something good" Zeke muttered, "Eren, I can't...".
"Well, you clearly didn't!" Eren shouted, "Because y/n was part of that group, she legally has the same fault as all of them, even if it wasn't true. If you report them, you also do that to her. Also, they threatened me to do something to her if I kept being close to her. What the fuck is wrong with you, Zeke?".
His old brother got up, "I tried to do something for you, Eren. I really tried to think like dad and your mother would and do something good for you".
He did the same thing, "Don't even think of bringing them into this. You could have done it a few years ago. Because this decision of yours of not doing fucking anything made me move from y/n's apartment and keep acting like I fucking hate her".
"And why do you do what they want?" Zeke asked. Eren narrowed his eyes, "You don't know what they're capable of, Zeke. They can ruin her fucking life, they...".
He felt tears falling down his eyes, "I can't let her suffer again. She doesn't remember me from years ago, she doesn't know who she really is".
"I prefer that she has a bad memory of me than that she forgets me again" he said while his voice broke.
Silence invaded the room. Zeke stared at the ground without saying a single word as he slowly assimilated what he had caused.
Eren knew it wasn't his brother's fault, because that group would have somehow figured out that he and y/n had found each other again. What frustrated him was that Zeke tried to act like a big brother years later after the actual problem had happened. Now that Eren was clearly happy.
"I guess I could never be a good brother for you" Zeke finally spoke. Eren knew well that his brother was trying to look good and act like he was the victim, but he wasn't going to believe him.
He nodded, "You're right, Zeke. You could have been a good brother if you helped me four years ago".
"I still believe that you should had told y/n about her past and what you were for each other before, and things would be easier now" his brother continued.
"Don't go there" Eren said, "You have no idea of what you're talking about".
"No, I don't, because is quite hard for me to understand why you would hide something as big as you knowing each other and you writing those letters to her" Zeke insisted, "If you had told her the truth from the beginning, things would be easier".
"How?" Eren asked. "You could have explained to her that those people had threatened you into doing something to her, and you wouldn't act like you hate her and don't give her answers" his brother explained.
Eren shook his head, "You.. you don't get it. I can't tell her that. She'd hate me, she wouldn't understand why I hid everything from her. Even if I explained that I tried to protect her, she would hate me because the only thing that she wants now is to remember everything".
The blonde man sighed and got up, "I don't think we'll ever understand each other, at least tonight. I'm going to sleep".
❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。
A few hours later, Eren was still sitting on the couch. He hated this city so much, but there was no other place to go.
Such a coincidence that I always end here.
Zeke heard some noise from downstairs and went down, "Why aren't you sleeping? You have school tomorrow, and right now I'm responsible of what you do".
"I'm not going tomorrow" Eren announced. Zeke nodded, "Yeah, I guessed so. Well, if that's the case, do you want some coffee? Cigarettes?".
"Zeke, are you really offering me cigarettes?" the brunette questioned. His brother shrugged, "I don't know, you changed so much that maybe you wanted one".
Eren sighed and closed his eyes. Zeke sat next to him, "You messed up really bad, you know that?".
"I didn't" his brother answered, "I had to do it. I couldn't stand the thought of continuing with all of this. I'm so fucking tired".
"There were other ways" the blonde insisted. Eren chuckled sarcastically, "Yeah, Zeke, there were other fucking ways to do things. You should say that to yourself too".
"Oh, don't go there. You know how none of this would have happened to you?" Zeke asked, "If you actually told her the truth from the beginning. I'm sure you wouldn't be here if you had done that".
"I would be living here for months if I told her the truth from the beginning" Eren said, feeling more depressed as he talked. "The actual problem wouldn't be solved, and you know that. There's nothing I can do".
Zeke shook his head, "So you really think that lying to her all this time was the right thing to do?".
Eren nodded. His big brother rolled his eyes, "She's eventually going to find out. And when that happens, she's not going to forgive you".
"I don't care" Eren said. At this point, he just wanted to forget abouteverything.
Zeke looked at him, seeing no emotions in his brother's eyes. "Who are you?".
.•° ✿ °•.
A/N: Finally, you find out what's really happening with Eren... hope y'all love this chapter!
Also, I'm really sorry that I posted it so late. Since the last chapter, my life has been quite like a movie. I was really stressed with my exams so that they could accept me in the career I want, and they did!! So excited that I can study what I've wanted for many years. Here where I live, you need to do these exams so you get a grade, and my career required a reaaally high mark, so I had to study a lot and I couldn't write anything :(
After that, I just enjoyed that I finished, travelled with my friends, went to some festivals... but I'm so glad I finally could write something 🤍