idk what yall will feel after reading this, especially because of what happened in chap 56 ahshahsa but i hope yall still read it HAHAHA
chapter 56
I felt someone tapping my face, and I immediately feel relieved because when I opened my eyes, I saw his face. He was so close to me, and usually I would feel shy and hide right away, but this time, I closed the gap between us by hugging him tightly. Relief washing over me as I remembered that it was already a week when me and my members are back in Seoul, and I'm currently hanging out with ruto because he just came back from his concert from Thailand and we're both on our day off. I had to remember it all since my dream felt so freaking real. My heart was still beating so fast because I was really so scared of other people finding out about us.
"Are you alright, darin? You were crying while asleep. Don't worry I'm here, it's just a nightmare," Ruto whispered softly, as he hugged me back.
He's right. It was just a nightmare, but why I am so scared? Was it because the nightmare felt too real? Or was it because I'm so scared of the fact that I can lose this man in front of me as soon as someone sees us this close to each other. I looked away when I met Haruto's worried eyes. Just thinking that I can lose him in an instant makes me feel the urge to protect whatever we have right now more. Because I can't lose him.
"In my dream, they caught us. I was so scared, ruto. I don't want to lose you just because media wanted a story to tell."
I was shocked when Haruto made me look at him, before capturing my lips with his. My eyes closed in an instant and my body just surrendered to his touch. But it wasn't that long when our kiss stopped.
"I will never let them ruin us, Hanbyul. You are my darin. You are special to me, so I'll do everything in my power so that they won't come after us. And even if they do, I'll make sure to announce it way faster than they can. I'm told to always put our fans first, but if they will be the reason for us to grow apart, then I'll have no choice but to put them at the bottom, because you are always first on my list. Heck. The list doesn't even exist anymore because you're my only one, darin. So, please, I beg you to stop thinking about those things, because I can't bear it seeing you getting hurt and crying."
I didn't know what to say, because as soon as I heard Haruto saying those words and him breaking down, I just went to him and hugged him tighter than before. He even begged. I don't fucking deserve him at all.
"But what about your career, Ruto? You must not sacrifice that for me, because I know this might sound so selfish, but I think I can't sacrifice my career for you." I told him, and I knew I sounded so selfish, but I need to be honest to him. I must let him know that it'll always be career over love for me.
"You don't have to choose, darin. I'll just make sure that you'll never choose between those two. And you don't have to do anything, just chase your dreams while I chase those damn stalkers away," he whispered, before kissing the top of my head. I rested my head on his chest, and there I felt his fast beating heart.
I love him so much, but not too much to choose him over my career. I'm sorry. ruto. You don't deserve me at all.
I glanced at the clock inside his room, and when I saw that it was already 2 am, I knew then and there that I'll be sleeping in his room again. It was a blessing that his members weren't so nosy, especially when they found it. Though it was only Yoshi, Asahi and Hyunsuk who knows about it since they're the ones who share an apartment with Ruto.
I was shocked when Ruto suddenly sang Make it right by BTS. His voice sounded so good, since it was deep. It was calming to listen to.
"I can make it right, alright." he sang beautifully as we were hugging each other in his bed.
I started tracing my fingers on his arm, and I smiled when I traced his tattoo, but I was shocked when he took my hand and started kissing my fingers one by one.
"One day, your birthday will be tattooed here too," ruto whispered as he puts my fingers back on his tattoo. His tattoos were all the birthdays of his family. I looked away when he said those words, because it only meant one thing: ruto sees me in his future too.
But I sometimes wonder how can two 19 year olds know what their future would be. Because the world has always been changing every single day, and I really am scared of what's yet to come, but I know for a fact that I'll be doing my best to make sure this guy here in front of me will stay in my life.
"I love you, ruto." I whispered, fighting the urge to tear up in front of him, but I was shocked when he was the one who started crying.
"Hey, don't cry! I'm gonna start crying too!" I yelled, but all he did was hug me tightly.
"I can't help it, darin. I just love you so much..." he whispered, before planting a kiss on the top of my head again.
I really wish we can just stay like this forever.
* * *
I was fighting the urge to throw up as we were finally in front of a huge crowd with their cameras flashing at us. I didn't even know how I was able to take all those flashes without blinking. I was just smiling and doing whatever the cameraman request, like doing some finger hearts, or like peace signs for them. It was finally the day of our debut showcase, and I'm so fucking nervous. I looked at Nari who was next to me, and she gave me a smile, as if assuring me that everything will be fine.
I watched Hiraya who was busy answering most of the questions as she was appointed as the group's leader. It was actually so iconic since she was the first ever leader in our company who's a foreigner. Oh well, she was the best suited for the position, I really have to fight for it since some of the higher ups didn't really like the idea of having a foreigner as the leader. But they can't do anything anymore when we proposed that Nari could be like a vice leader to help out Hiraya when things are hard.
"Are you not pressured that all of you are considered a bit old for the industry?" one reporter asked, and I badly wanted to roll my eyes at him. How can he say we are a bit old when it should be the other way around? Lisa and Rosie sunbaenim were the same age with Eunkyung when they debuted back in 2016 but there was no issue with it.
"We don't feel pressured at all. I actually am glad that our company made sure that we are all adults in the debuting team, because I know that we will be able to handle things like this maturely." Hiraya eonnie answered confidently, and even gave her pretty smile at that annoying reporter. I can't believe debuting minors now is a common thing. I experienced a lot of hardships because I started out young, so I just wish that others wouldn't go through such a hard time because this industry really is hard for young people.
Our debut would be on August 5, 2023 and it all felt too real now. We're finally free from the infamous YG dungeon.
"I have a question for Stella Kim." One reported said, and I felt my members' eyes on me, and after Hiraya gave me a nod, I smiled at the reporter. But I was still able to see my members' glaring at the reporter. I fought the urge to giggle at their overprotectiveness.
"We heard a rumor that your brother is the famous actor Hyunjae Kim, is that true? And if it's true, what is your current relationship with him?" the reporter asked, and I almost let out a snort because of the question. Why do they even have to bring that guy up. I don't even talk to him for months now since we're both so busy.
"Yes it's true. We're both cool with each other. Good luck on your new kdrama, oppa." I cheered, acting like a good younger sister when I'm definitely far from it. I heard other reports let out awes, so I gave them all a smile. Thank god my mum was persistent in making me attend those acting classes, they really do come in handy at times like this.
The debut showcase ended swiftly, and when were finally in the backstage, getting ready to go home, we were shocked when our manager told us that we have to go back on stage because our sunbaenims are waiting for us.
"Congrats!" we heard Treasure sunbaenim cheering for us as soon as we entered the stage, and I immediately found his eyes. I miss him so much, since we were busy, it was really hard for us to meet each other.
Our sunbaenims gave us bouquet of flowers, and I smiled wholeheartedly when I received a bouquet of flowers from Haruto himself. He was wearing a mask and his glasses. He still looked so good though, especially now that he's back in his blonde hair, it's just a shame that it's now cut short. His long hair will be missed.
"Congrats, Hanbyul."
He gave me the bouquet, and I felt his fingers grazing over mine. I fought the urge to hold his hand in front of all the other people inside, instead, I just gave him a smile.
"Thanks, sunbaenim."
It was the only exchange we gave each other, because they have to leave immediately since they still have to shoot their live performance of their new song called Bona Bona. It was a good thing that they came when the reporters and photographers finally left. When they were finally gone, me and my members took a pic with the bouquets to post on our Instagram accounts. And we also have to create individual IG accounts as soon as we debut since tons of brans are already asking to have deals with us. It was actually so shocking, because everything feels so fast. But I still am always grateful for it.
"Hiraya eonnie, you're the best!" we cheered for our leader who had to answer all of the hard questions, she really is the best leader!
We all hugged each other when Hiraya eonnie started tearing up. And of course, we all started crying one by one too. It was like a domino effect. Maybe even my members are finally realizing that our dreams are finally coming true.
"I'm so happy that you guys are my members!" hiraya exclaimed as she was crying, and we all cheered, because everybody clearly is happy to have Hiraya eonnie as our leader too.
Our debut mv will be released later at 12 midnight, and now that we're finally back in our normal clothing and inside our practice room, we're currently with our Blackpink sunbaenim, who really made this day free even with their tour ongoing just so they can show their support for us.
We'll be watching our debut mv with our Blackpink sunbaenim, and I never felt more pressured in my whole life than this very moment.
"Oh la la!" Lisa eonnie cheered as soon as our debut mv started playing on the large LED TV. I was the first one on the screen since I was given the opportunity to open up the song, and I laughed when Rosie eonnie started shaking me, especially when I gave a wink at the screen.
"Omo! Who are you? Are you really our baby Hanbyul?" Jisoo eonnie asked me, as she watched our debut MV, meanwhile Jennie eonnie was taking pictures of my part.
"Have to share this on my IG. You're soooo good," Jennie eonnie said, and I never felt more proud of myself. They were the eonnies I trained with ever since I was young. They were all there on my first year as a trainee, and now that they're here during my debut means so much to me.
We started cheering for my members too. And all of us were left speechless when we heard Eunkyung's high note, and Hiraya was also there to prolong that high note. The dance break was also showed well, with Mulan leading, and it was so good especially her solo part where she was dancing with her sword. It looked so fucking cool and elegant.
When the mv finally came to its end, we all cheered, and as we were all celebrating, our manager suddenly came inside our dance practice room together with our main producer who we all love.
"Aera!" we exclaimed and went to her, but we were shocked when she stopped us since she was still panting, but she was fast enough to show us her phone, and all of us are shocked after seeing it. Is that even real?
"We're currently on Billboard hot 100, girls!"
to be continued. . .
i hope u enjoyed this chapter! three more chapters left! any thoughts??