Author's Note: Here's a gift request for Sinvulkt on ao3. :D
~ Amina Gila
Just so everyone knows, you don't have to know who Mill is to understand the story. :)
~ Tirana Sorki
While struggling with his nightmares of Padme's death, Anakin runs into an old friend at the Temple. Mill Alibeth. One thing leads to the next, and she gives him an idea she never intended to, on how to save Padme. If the Council won't let him into the restricted area meant for Masters on the Council, then he can enlist the help of a group of younglings to get inside anyway.
Anakin doesn't think he even felt this worn on the fronts. Every moment, he's filled with that unclenching terror, that knowledge that Padme and his child are about to die. It's not just his visions. He can feel it in the Force, this overwhelming sense of something changing. It's as though her Force presence is fading, and he doesn't know what to do about it. He has to find a way to stop it, but he doesn't know how.
He can't fail her like he did his mother, but he doesn't know who to go to. The Jedi aren't an option. Perhaps, if he could research the Archives, in the section only for Jedi Masters and Council members, he could find something of use, but not in the general area.
And even that isn't something that's been granted to him.
Because he's on the Council now, but he's not a Master. He's an outcast, just as much as he always has been. They don't need to remind him he doesn't belong here. He already knows that. And he doesn't understand why they always break their own rules, make exceptions, only for him. Because he's somehow different, and he can't understand why.
Of course, there's also the mission to spy on Palpatine, which makes it hard to be around him, too, knowing what he's been asked to do, how he's betraying the one person who always stood by him. He can't trust the Council at all anymore, and it's....
He's so tired.
"Master?" a voice asks, softly.
Anakin looks up with a start – he's standing near one of the windows gazing aimlessly out at the Coruscant skyline beyond, so he didn't notice the person approaching behind him.
He recognizes the black-haired Zabrak girl instantly. How could he not? Even if it's been three years since he last saw her, at the beginning of the war.
"Mill?" Anakin asks, surprised. Right after his Knighting, he'd been on a mission to watch over a group of younglings, and she was one of them. Her connection to the Force was... different; she strongly senses others' emotions and always had a hard time understanding why the other younglings were so excited to go fight. That's why she finally settled for doing relief work and helping people without fighting – she's never going to become an official Jedi Knight.
Anakin had helped her deal with it, and she... had helped him, in more ways than she realized.
"You don't always have to be the sun dragon," she'd told him, about his constant need to be strong enough to protect everyone. He hardly even understood it, because everyone around him always needs, demands of him to be better, more. And this time, right now, he knows he has to be, for the sake of his child.
That doesn't change how much the words had meant to him. He's always wanted to... be more than that.
"I did not expect to see you here. It has been a long time," he says.
She nods, smiling faintly before frowning. "I sensed you. Are you... alright?"
The question catches him totally by surprise. No one's asked him that since this started, except Padme which hardly helps when she's the one in danger, and also stubbornly maintains that she isn't. "There is much going on," Anakin answers, after a moment of hesitation.
"You're... upset," Mill replies, studying him, "What's wrong?"
There's no reason to lie to her, even if he can't say the full truth, either. He wants to talk to about it to someone, even if he wouldn't even think of burdening a little child, who's not quite thirteen yet, with it.
"I had a vision," he admits, heart clenching with fear as it swims through his mind again, "Of someone I know... dying."
"Oh." Her eyes widen, and she reaches up, lightly touching his flesh hand. He takes her small hand in his, for a fleeting moment wondering how he ever ended up meeting someone so... light. "Did you try talking to Master Yoda?"
"I did. He said there was nothing I could do." He still feels a certain bitterness over the Grandmaster's words. This isn't about him, and how he needs to "let go". He's protecting them for them. He's not going to just stop because he... No reason, really. "I believe if I could see the restricted part of the Archives, I may be able to find something that would help, but I cannot."
"Couldn't Master Kenobi help you?"
Obi-Wan? There's no way he can go to him. Anakin shakes his head. "He's... busy."
Mill frowns. "I thought I heard you were put on the Council? Why can't you go back there?"
He really doesn't want to explain this to her. "I am, but I haven't been given permission to access it yet."
She seems to consider that a moment before suddenly brightening. "You could get in without anybody noticing, right?" she asks, a certain childish eagerness filling her face. "I could keep watch until you were done."
Warmth spreads through him at the words, even if it's a very bad idea. He shouldn't even be considering it. (Not like it's much worse than when he and Mill had pranked Windu, pretending the transmission wasn't clear enough to hear his explicit orders not to go to Cato Neimoidia to rescue Obi-Wan.) "We could," Anakin says, "But I do not want to get you into trouble."
He could do it on his own, even if it would be risky. He doesn't know how the Council would react. This is Padme and his child's lives, though. That's far important than whatever they might do for such an obvious breach of... everything, really. Knights should never do something like that.
Mill grins. "But we did it together on Cato Neimoidia."
"True," he concedes, smiling back, "Then let's do it. But I have a class to teach. We will have to wait until after that." He's supposed to be teaching some of the younglings in a couple hours – when the Knights are at the Temple, they sometimes have duties like that, after all.
"Unless they wanna come," she replies, almost mischievously.
... Maybe that's not such a bad idea, after all. At least not when it comes to finding a good cover for being in the Archives in the first place.
***
"Really?" asks Ganodi.
"Are you serious?" Zatt demands, though he sounds hopeful.
"You want us to help you?" Petro queries, a mischievous eagerness already filling his face.
Gungi growls eagerly, running forwards.
Grogu coos, looking up at Anakin with bright, hopeful eyes, despite how tiny he is. He's still very aware of his surroundings and what everyone is saying.
"We can do this?" Katooni questions, cautious but almost excited, too.
"We won't be in trouble?" Byph objects, in his language.
"Who cares?" Petro demands, and Byph frowns at him.
"He has a point," Reva objects, obviously uncertain.
"It will likely not go over well with the Council, if they discover it," Anakin admits, crouching so he's closer to eye level with them. He's supposed to be teaching them about the interactions of the Force, but the first few minutes of the lesson weren't going anywhere, anyway. All they wanted was more stories about the war, though they have no idea what they're really asking for.
"I wanna go!" Petro says, firmly. "We can't just wait around like children when we have something to do!"
"It will be a field trip," he tells them, "But you do not all have to come if you don't want to. You know there will be risks."
"It's gonna be fun," growls Gungi, eagerly.
"Yeah," Ganodi agrees, equally exuberant.
Ketooni wavers for only another moment. "Let's go."
Grogu wobbles forwards, on his tiny legs.
"You are... small to go," Anakin says, a little uncertainly. He's only a baby.
Grogu's expression falls, and it frankly hurts too much to refuse him.
"But you can come if you are certain."
He brightens instantly, cooing happily.
"Will this be helpful?" Zatt asks, holding up a device to open doors by sending an electric pulse through them.
"We would probably not want to use at on the entrance to the holocron vault," Anakin replies. They're trying not to damage anything. "But you can bring it just in case."
"What're we gonna say we're there for?" Reva objects.
"A field trip," Anakin tells them, "You are there for Archive research." It's not like it isn't the truth.
Byph still looks reluctant, but finally he trails along after them as they leave.
Mill meets up with them on the way to the Archives.
Now that they're on the way, Anakin's no longer sure this is a very good idea, but they've come too far to turn around.
"I'll distract everyone," Petro calls cheerfully, and takes off to do just that. Byph is too nervous to go inside, so Anakin settles for leaving him outside as a distraction as well, though with his jitteriness, maybe they shouldn't've brought him.
"I'll warn you if anyone's coming," Mill tells him, lingering near the entrance, trying to pretend she belongs there. Because of how she senses emotions, she'll be by far the best for that job.
"How do we get inside?" Reva asks.
"One of you can open the doors from the inside, through the vents," Anakin says, looking between them, "Volunteers?"
"Me!" nearly all of them yell, almost at once.
"Shhh," hisses Ketooni.
"Grogu will be smallest," Anakin settles for, "And Ganodi can go in next." He can't say why he picked her, but he needs someone to keep an eye on Grogu and get the door open quickly without getting distracted.
They move to a place out of sight behind the shelves, and Anakin pulls the grate off, lifting Grogu, and then Ganodi, inside.
And then, they wait, tension rising with each passing moment until there's a creek and a groan, and then, the entrance to the holocron vault slides open. They all hurry inside.
"It's amazing in here," breathes Ganodi.
"Wow. I always wanted to see what this looked like," Zatt agrees.
"Now remember, no one touch anything," Anakin cautions. They don't need to risk damaging something.
"Then how will we help you?" Katooni objects.
"I will search for it."
Except, he can hardly focus on looking for anything when he has to keep one eye on all of them, because, of course, they immediately start running up and down the halls of the room, looking over everything.
And 'I'm just looking at it' leads to pulling things off the shelves very quickly.
Not as though he was any better at this age, because he keeps getting distracted by random, intriguing things he sees, too.
"Is it this?" Reva asks, bringing him probably the tenth hopelessly irrelevant holocron.
"Or this?" calls Gungi, jumping down from one of the shelves with a thud.
"Shhh," hisses Katooni, "Someone's gonna hear!"
"No one's that close," argues Zatt, reaching for another holocron, "What about this one?"
"... no." Forget about trying to keep them away from the shelves. He just needs to keep up with what they bring, and make sure it goes back in the right place, and that no one will get lost.
Except then, his comm beeps. "Someone's coming," Mill's voice says. "Petro's trying to distract them, but I don't think it's working."
"Time to go," Anakin says, motioning to the younglings. They look as disappointed as he feels, and they start moving for the door, but – "Wait," he objects, freezing. "Where's Grogu?!"
Everyone stops and stares at each other.
"Umm..."
"Uhh..."
"I saw him go under that shelf!" offers Katooni.
"Well, he is not there now," Anakin replies, crouching to look. He doesn't see the baby anywhere in sight, actually. This is not good. Grogu is tiny and could be just about anywhere by now. "We have to find him."
"But we're gonna get caught," Reva objects, wide-eyed.
"Then we have to hurry. We can't leave him in here."
They all run in every direction, searching through the vault, but Anakin doesn't know if it's going to be nearly fast enough. He tries to locate and follow Grogu with the Force, but the baby is moving, too, and he's probably not somewhere any of them could see him.
Gungi gets to him first, half-crawling along the floor, sniffing, to track his scent.
Grogu's climbing around on the shelves when Anakin finally spots him, trying to reach the holocron he must think is brightest. Right – he likes shiny things.
"We have to go," Anakin tells him, and Grogu makes a grumpy, sad noise enough that Anakin almost wants to give in and let him stay anyway, even if they are about to get caught, and they'll all be in trouble.
But with how much the others are panicking now, that's definitely not an option. He picks up Grogu, and they take off for the door, but they haven't reached it yet when he senses someone on the other side. "We need to hide," he warns them, and they're all trying to duck behind the nearest shelves, but not everyone gets there fast enough.
The door slides open, and everyone collectively freezes, including Master Shaak Ti and a rambling Petro, who's obviously been trying and failing to distract her from going in.
"What are you doing in here?" she demands.
"... It's a long story," he offers sheepishly.
***
"...and brought the class of younglings you were assigned to teach to the Archives," Master Windu is saying, and – what was that again? He zoned out somewhere. "Which has strictly limited access only for Jedi Masters."
Anakin is completely unperturbed, anyway. "It was Archive research," he replies flippantly, because they were trying to find a way to save his family, and that's what Jedi are supposed to do. And really, it was fun. They had fun. Lots of it. Even if Jedi aren't supposed to get carried away with that.
"In a restricted area," Windu repeats, glaring harder.
"Shouldn't knowledge be open to all?" he asks cheerfully, because he has no idea what else to say to that. What? It's true.
The Jedi Master looks two seconds short of slamming his head on something.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan chides reproachfully, equally exasperated.
Anakin almost feels bad for him. Almost.
Because really, it was fun.
"This is completely irresponsible behavior, unbefitting of a Jedi Knight, much less a Council member," Windu goes on.
Because he's totally a Council member like the rest of them. He doesn't even bother mentioning it. It's not as if they'll want to hear what he has to say, any more than they ever do.
He just... tunes out more or less the rest of this discussion, until they move on to more pressing matters. Sitting in the Council chambers, pretending to be one of them, when he's really not is... always extremely uncomfortable, but after the field trip insanity, it's somehow easier to tolerate right now.
***
Although, predictably, Anakin's stay on the Council just in name doesn't last much longer either. Aside from the fact that Windu was implying they ought to remove him for irresponsible actions, his marriage with Padme came out.
They're going to throw him out of the Order now, and Anakin can't say he entirely minds. There are, however, a certain steadily growing group of people that he's going to miss.
"Somewhere else classified we need to go?" Mill asks mischievously, when Anakin finds her again. He's glad she's still at the Temple right now.
"Not now," Anakin replies, grinning anyway, "You were not in too much trouble for that, were you?"
"Master Nema never realized I had anything to do it with it," she replies, cheerfully, "But I think the others all got a lecture for it."
Well.
Better than it could have been.
Although he was grounded from teaching any further youngling classes for a while, not that it matters anymore. He... won't be doing that anymore. It's jarring. "There's something else I must speak to you about."
"What?" Mill asks, frowning, obviously noting the sudden, serious note in his voice.
He's almost surprised the news hasn't spread already but it did just happen. "I... I'm leaving the Order. The Council expelled me." It feels like a failure to say, because he did fail as a Jedi, but... He's known for years he didn't belong here. This way, it doesn't feel as much like he's abandoning his duty, because it wasn't his choice to leave.
"What?" she yelps, eyes wide. "Why? Not because of that, was it???"
"No, no," Anakin assures, "Well, not directly. I... broke the Code. For the... person I was trying to save." He'll let her make of that what she does.
"Oh." She looks totally mind-blown and upset at once, "You... But you've always..."
"I know what many of the younger Jedi saw me as, but I have never fit among the Order like the others."
Mill nods. "I know. I can understand wanting to leave. In a way. I wouldn't, but I – you know why I don't want to be a Knight." She never fit among the others, and always struggled with that. Anakin thinks he was really the first one who ever paid attention to that and encouraged her to take whatever path she felt was best for her.
"Yes," Anakin replies, touching her shoulder, "But if you ever desire to speak to me again, or need help with anything, you can always contact me."
She perks up. "Really?"
"Of course."
"I will," she promises, smiling, "Will you... be alright?"
"I'll be fine," he assures her, "My place was never among the other Knights, either. Out here, I may still be able to help people on my own." He hasn't given much thought to what he's even going to do now that he's leaving, until now, but he'll figure it out now.
Anakin's not expecting it when Mill suddenly steps closer, wrapping her arms around him. It's rare anyone else initiates this, but he returns it, immediately.
She's done far more to help him than she perhaps even realizes. And really, she's been the one person in the Order he actually felt like he could connect with immediately, who could somewhat see things similarly, because she was always different, too.
"We'll see each other again," he says, "And... thank you for what you did."
"I'd like to do it again."
He suppresses a laugh. "Me too. But I don't think Master Windu would know what to do with us anymore."
Mill giggles, and Anakin smiles back. He hasn't felt this light in a long time. Maybe spending time with them is what he really needed.
Anakin drops by where the other younglings are next, just to say goodbye. All of them are equally disappointed, and even more confused, when they hear he's leaving the Order, though he doesn't explain the details of why. It's not really... important.
"Can we hear a story first?" Katooni asks, hopefully.
"Yeah!" Petro agrees, always overexcited, "Like the one where you fought Grievous! He can't be that great because he couldn't defeat us."
Anakin remembers when Ahsoka had been with this group of younglings, one of the times Grievous nearly killed her. It's not something he could easily forget. "He is deadly, not skilled. And you all have the Force."
Grogu coos, taking a few steps closer and holding up his arms.
Anakin settles in the middle of the floor, picking him up, and all the others instantly crowd around him, pushing each other to get closer.
"What about the story about those Gundarks?" growls Gungi, hopefully.
"We've heard that one before," Zett points out.
"So?" Petro asks, shrugging. "I wanna hear that again, too."
Byph looks alarmed at the mere prospect.
"What about something new?" asks Ganodi.
"Hmm." Anakin pauses, consideringly. It might be the last time he has the chance to tell them any stories, and he'd rather make the most of it. He might hardly know them, but he's definitely going to miss being around them. In part, this is why he wants children of his own so much. "What about the time I ran into Hondo?"
"Yessss!!!!"
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